Ladies. Gentlemen. Minions.
Behold.
Wow.
We're still working on it, still altering and changing the little details, still tweaking... but I really wanted to get it out before it's leaked.
And let's face it, it is BRILLIANT.
You can start trembling now.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
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Chris: *ruffles his hair* no you can't...b but how will you feed?
FLORA!!! *tacklehugs* I'VE NOT SEEN YOU IN AGES!!! MISSED YOU!!!! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN!!!
(*rolls eyes* well done silly)
MrBBWolf: *smiles slightly at the hair ruffling*
*frowns*
Oh.. I-I don't know..
Hi Rhydian:
@Jai: Ooh . . .
*turns music off to hear my thoughts*
Hmm.
Hmm.
Uh.
Hmm.
Uh.
I think it's because he seems real.
Because his emotions are real, mostly.
I'm a VERY emotions-oriented person, so.
And
I think the realism & emotion might come from the way he's written.
As in, accurately, but also portraying how he's feeling.
And also because his exoerience is something we haven't had here in a while, and that gives it novelty value.
Things you're read a thousand times before - they seem cliché and unoriginal and as thin as paper.
Whereas unique experiences, if written realistically, can have an added depth of interest to them.
Wow. I appear to be getting better at explaining. Maybe it's all the essay plans I'm doing for revision.
*can never do essays becausw it's so hard for me to explain mybthoughts in an intensely structured manner, so I've basically soent the past few nights working out all my thoughts so I van write them into essay plans and memorise them*
I'VE BEEN GOOD, HOW'RE YOU??? ALSO, I MESSAGED YOU ON FACEBOOK YOU NUMPTY. YOU MUST NOT HAVE SEEN IT :P
Also, i'm gonna attempt to post stuff now, guys :) dunno how successful it will be because I'm on my tablet, but we'll give it a go, eh? :P
Chris/ *kisses* well think of that when we come to it
(@Star hmm.. *nods*)
MrBBWolf: *kisses him back*
*mumbles*
Th-that would be tonight..
RHYDIAN
FLORA
HI
(For anyone who wants
I'm on Facebook
Chloe Gray is the name)
HI MOSS!!!! HOW ARE YA!??
I am not on Facebook!
(Hi moss!)
Chris: right.... Well you need to feed...what shall you do?
(Moss!)
MrBBWolf: I.. I d-don't know..
L-lets go home a-and think-k?
*stands, nearly falling over from the weight of his wings, not accustomed to them, grabbing Chris for balance*
You should get facebook, Star! Then I can harass you like I harrass Rhydian ;)
Chris: *slowly stands and supports wolf* how do you feel ?
(Hehe no one harasses me XD I'm not interesting enough to be harassed XD)
Right, I'm posting in two parts :)
1/2
They say the average person lives seventy years. That's eight-hundred and forty months. Three-thousand, six-hundred and fifty-two weeks. Twenty-five thousand, six-hundred days.
Half it and you get five-hundred-and-fifty-six thousand hours of night. Two billion seconds of darkness.
That's a lot of pitch black.
When you're young the darkness seems frightening, like this great and all-consuming power. It knows no bounds and its chill seems to seep into every pore of life and break you from the inside out. Monsters come alive in its shade and nightmares are spawned. Children sleep with lights on in the hope that whatever labours their minds might be just as afraid of the light as they are of the darkness. Parents are forever hushing their children and whispering words of reassurance to the minds whose imaginations are running wild and are utterly uncontainable.
But as you grow you gain this mutual understanding with night and take comfort in its embrace. It becomes a type of warmth and you fall into a dependency upon it; sleeping with ease in the murkiness of those long hours. And then, when your mind has developed and calmed with age, darkness becomes a friend and provides a strange security you find nowhere else in life.
And that’s it. Those seventy years. Gone. That steady stream of conscious switched off.
What’s after that? More darkness maybe, maybe light depending on where your faiths lay. I don’t suppose anyone really knows, or even that it completely matters. You can work the maths out all you like, but those two billion seconds will exist and then one day they just won’t. Instead it’ll become whatever’s next, those seconds having been turned into an afterthought. But, alas, I suppose it’s in our nature to focus too much on the afterthoughts. The mundane, the banal, the trite. The anemones instead of the daisies. Our consequences lay too far out of reach.
Or maybe I’m just making excuses. Because the truth of it is that I'm still afraid of the dark.
That’s not something you hear every day because, like I said, you grow out of it. You’re meant to move on, the childish notions of something’s under my bed being left in the dust. Logic takes precedence.
And the thing is I know it's daft. I can analyse my thoughts until the most minute of details falls beneath my scrutiny, but nothing changes when dusk rolls in. Those beautiful sunsets are painful because I know exactly what's coming. Because whether I’m standing at the window or, in my weaker moments, cowering in the corner with a blanket over myself like a dog afraid of thunder, I always make sure I see that slow transition from light into darkness, like a masochistic daily ritual. And, in all honesty, I think I do it to make sure it happens. Almost as if a ridiculous part of my brain believes that one day it will just stop and there will be no more night, no more darkness, and no more unease. No more waiting with bated breath as the orange eye lurks along the horizon, staring and teasing me with its disappearance; as if pointing a finger and snickering at my distress. I almost hate the sun because of it—yet another ridiculous thought. But the thing is I always feel cheated when the day ends; as if we've been sold to the night before we even have time to ask why.
*nods* Yes. Facebook is great for harassing friends :P
MrBBWolf: *hold onto him, looking Orr his Penn shoulder, starting*
*flaps his wings cautiously*
Chris: so...do you think you can fly?
Loving it!! I actually really miss your writing Flora!!
Actually have to go now guys :( See you all later! BYE!!!! *poofs*
2/2
The root of the phobia lies way, way back. The colour of the January sky had been an orange so bright I felt like I was on fire. Then came the shrill calls and the running. The gasping for breath and the panic. It didn’t subdue until the body bag containing my dearest mother lay before us—then everyone was quiet. Apart from me. I screamed blue murder until I was picked up and dumped in my room to deal with it on my own, like any sane person would do to a seven year old.
It didn’t work, of course. I just sat there in the corner, the image circling my mind, until the darkness rolled in and it got worse. The monsters came alive, the nightmares were spawned. But no one was there to calm neither me nor my mind, and so villains—too evil for a child’s mind—claimed me and have never let go. Simple words, simple things. Not so simple consequences.
But I beat on, boats against the current and all that, because that’s what you do. You go about your everyday life. You ignore the kinks in your armour made up of the past in hope that they’ll go away by themselves, even though that rarely happens - yet you always seem to convince yourself that it does.
My father always used to tell me that the right and the wrong would sort itself out in the end, and that I oughtn’t muddle in things that were meant to be. He was never a religious man or anything like that—rather atheist actually. But he sees in black and white, like his mind just doesn’t register the grey. You’d think that being a business man he’d relish in a personality that pushes for what’s desired, regardless of backlash. Always looking forward to the change that will come. But instead, my father has always been a believer in que sera, sera—he’s just had formidable luck on his side.
So, I took it in my stride. I said, I’m afraid of the dark. Two billion seconds. Que sera, sera. But I secretly made promises to myself, behind my father’s back, behind the closed door of my bedroom where no one could find us, that it wouldn’t beat me. That I’d conquer this fear somehow. Self-induced submersion therapy. Ten-step therapy. Obliviousness. Awareness. No lights on. My room like a carnival.
I don’t know if it’s better, now that I live alone, or not. It’s easier, no doubt. I rack up high electricity bills from lights constantly being on after dark, and I can sit in the corner and try to hide myself away without anyone telling me that this is how it’s meant to be. This is what was chosen for me.
It’s better in parts I suppose, but it’s still dark and now I’m completely alone.
Although maybe that’s key; maybe it’s the fact I am boxed away in my solitude that is so crucial because, yeah, I may be lonely, but it doesn’t mean I’m alone. I mean, I live in a small flat on the second floor of a 1930s arts and crafts house and maybe that’s exactly it. I needed to be separate but still there; have my own space but still be with people. Like a case made of one-way glass, I can see everything but you can’t see me unless I crack the façade. Like some sort of protective system that lets me reach out things get a little too quiet.
(Byii Rhyd !)
Lololol it's actually 3 parts, whoops...
3/3
It’s nice, though, the house. It’s a good place to live. The old structure creaks every time there is a sizeable amount of wind like some ghost house in a children’s story, and it is forever in need of repairs. But, stained-glass decorates the windows here and there, and rich deep brown wooden floors cover every inch of the building. I’m the only student that lives in the house and so it’s quiet, with no raucous crowds of inebriated teenagers. Instead I’m the youngest, and by far the outlier of the group. The woman that shares the floor with me is a somewhat elderly lady, having hit seventy a while ago. She fumbles around each day, smiling to herself and caring after the potted lavender that sit just outside her front door and makes our small hallway overpowered by its smell. Although I’ve never entered her apartment, I can imagine exactly what it would be like. Comfortable, worn furniture. Doilies under crystal fruit bowls. Blue and white china lining the glass-fronted cabinets. Net curtains over floral roller blinds. A sweet place with black and white photos littering the walls and table tops.
I glance around what I can see of my own apartment. There’s no worn furniture. No photos in frames. The most intrusive of anything I own are the books, stacked in towers and cluttering every inch of my life. There’s probably some Jungian or Freudian interpretation that could be made of my life—some deep psychological reading of my inner insecurities and daemons and how it’s procured that I now surround myself with dead characters on dead trees. But alas, I’m thoroughly un-read whilst entirely over-read.
Aww, bye Rhidian!!! Check yo Facebook, fool.
And, that's it. It's like the first two and a half pages of my thing I've been working on. Lemme known what you think! :)
(Your writing is amazing!)
(@Flora ACE! You write well!)
MrBBWolf: fly..
*smiles, flapping his wings again*
M-maybe.
Chris: *smiles* want to try?
:) Your writing is really cool, G
Flora.
Interesting.
@Inky: I first started resisting Facebook when it first became cool, which was over half a decade ago. Nowadays, I realise how stupid it is to resist things merely for their coolness (also, my mum disapproved of it a lot at the time, as she thought we were too young and we had to lie about our age to get an account), but to have escaped Facebook for all these years feels like rather an achievement to ne, and partially because of that, as well as partially because of the connotations of Facebook that reach back to my ten-year-old perception of things, I mentally recoil away from the idea of getting it.
Sorry, window dude's here. :-/
[Waves to Rhydian, Inky, Jai, Flora and Star and anybody else]
[hides]
(My mum is mean. Anytime she asks me how I am I say tired. She then had a go at me because apparently 'all I ever do is sleep.' and she'd love to be able to sleep as much as me and I'm just there like '...I hardly ever sleep..and I'm a teenager, proven to be less active than other age groups, and I'm hoping to grow which I can't do if I don't sleep.)
MrBBWolf: Wh-what if I f-fall?
(*waves back at moss*
*hands her a map so she doesn't get lost*)
Chris: I'll catch you
(I think chris x wolf is my otp)
*waves to Moss :) :)*
@Jai: :( . . . :( *hugs*
MrBBWolf: *smiles slightly*
I'm a b-bit heavy f-for you to c-c-catch Chris...
(Yey!)
(*hugs star back*)
(*finds moss*£
Chris: I have my water
MrBBWolf: ok-kay.
*smiles*
Sh-should I j-jump from the t-tree?
Too
much
English
revision
*collapses*
Chris: okay... Or you could try running?
(*hugs star tightly*
*fans her face*)
MrBBWolf: Hmm.. o-okay. Run-ning.
Chris. Can you manage?
MrBBWolf: maybe?
*rolls his shoulders, moving to stand on his own*
Chris: take it easy...
I love your writing style, Flora. I really like the way you word things and describe things.
MrBBWolf: *smiles, kissing him gently*
I'll t-try.
*takes some steps, wobbling slightly*
Ahhh, sorry I never responded - my sister distracted me!!
Aww you guys are so sweet, thank you!!! <3 ^^
Is there anything you think I ought to change/work on?
Chris: *kisses and smiles€ go for it
(@flora in my opinion it's all fine?)
MrBBWolf: *nods, squaring his shoulders*
*stumbles into a run, wings sorta trailing behind him*
Chris: *runs after him*
(Ew! Woman had gaping holes in her stomach in botched!)
MrBBWolf: *grunts slightly, struggling, managing to at least lift his wings*
*pants, flapping his wings once, twice, each flap stronger than the last*
I started off giving beautiful explanatins and now I've resorted to one-word sentencies that occasionally consist of the world 'Shit' as a substitute to 'Stuff.':P
Oh dear.
I think my brain is fried.
(@Chloe ??)
(xD STAR! YOU CAN'T SWEAR IN YOUR EXAM!)
(This woman lost so much wait and had extra skin so had a tummy tuck
Suffered from necrosis!)
Chris: go on!
(@Chloe ew.)
MrBBWolf: *grunts and jumps, flapping his wings simultaneously, managing to get off the ground a little bit, landing again a second later*
*tries again, getting higher*
(It was gross)
Chris: go on! That's it!
(I can imagine)
MrBBWolf: *jumps, landing badly, stumbling and falling*
Hahahahah yaaas Star!! I do that!! :P
And thank you, Jai/Silente! :)
I got disillusioned with the whole writing thing recently so that's good to hear!
(You're welcome (call me Jai :) I especially like the beginning.)
(I am so envious of people who write well ^.^)
Chris: wolf! Are you okay?
(Same!)
MrBBWolf: *groans slightly, wings kinda flopped on top of him*
C-can you help me up-p? M-my wings are p-pinning me..
@Jai: XD I'm not gonna.
For her science mock though back ib December B ended up just writing "WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS" and "HOW THE FUCK WOULD I KNOW" and "WHO THE FUCK CARES" all over her paper. XD XD
(For our biology exam today though she took her calming medicine.
Omg.
She was so high.
She was just kind of stood there smiling. She was completely not-there. And when she spoke, which was rarely, she just sounded all peaceful and distant.
It was dead freaky.
I think me and C did a good thing refusing the drugs when she offered them to us.)
Chris: *tries not to laugh and helps him up*
(@Star O_o those are not good drugs.)
MrBBWolf: *uses his help to stand, blushing*
Sh-shush.. they're h-heavy.. most inc-cubi have their l-life time to ad-dapt
Chris: I'm sorry...you'll have to put me in my place
MrBBWolf: *blushes more, smiling shyly*
Mmm.. mayb-be tomorrow? Th-hat way I can f-feed tonight..?
Aww thanks, I'm always worried about the beginning because that's what makes or breaks a story :)
@Jai: Idk. They really work.
B also says they're fine because they're not illegal and they're made of flowers so are natural, but as alcohol is also legal and magic mushrooms are natural, I'm not so sure how much I ageee. :P
Chris: *chuckles* okay
(@Star Mmm.. I'd rather be stressed than THAT relaxed.
Yeah.. her point isn't very good xD cider is natural, its apples, its also legal. Doesn't make it good.)
(@Flora you're welcome :)
MrBBWolf: *smiles, kissing him, sighing happily*
H-how.. how's Lilith?
Chris: *kisses* she's been crying for her daddy
@Jai: I have a lovely table in my science book listing all the cancer alcohol contribute to. C:
Yeah. O_O
None of us were that stressed, anyway. Not even C.
Like I said. Desensitized.
(@star *nods* at least you're calm.)
MrBBWolf: *nods, hanging his head slightly*
W-we should go see her..?
Chris: *smiles* yes! Let's go!
MrBBWolf: *smiles, taking his hand and walking with him*
Chris: *squeezes his hand and pulls him along*
MrBBWolf: *walks along with him*
I can see New York out the windowwww. Nearly there!!
(I've been to New York twice
I wanna go again!)
Chris : so...are you glad you're back?
(*has never been to NYC*)
MrBBWolf: *squeezes his hand, nodding*
I.. I am.
I've never been to New York... I may or may not go sometime this summer though, depending on which colleges I decide to tour.
*has also never been to New York :P*
It's awesome, you guys should go! It's dire heat in the summer though!
And aweeessoommmee, what schools you looking at?
Chris: losing you was the most terrible thing... *areives at cottage*
MrBBWolf: I'm s-sorry.. I-I want-ted to protect-t you..
I didn't-t think d-dying would hurt so m-much..
Chris: well...now you're back *opens the door and let's him in*
MrBBWolf: *nods*
I am-m
*smiles, walking through the door, pulling Chris along and speed walking to the nursery*
Chris: *smiles* someone will be so glad to see you
MrBBWolf: I h-hope so..
*moves to Lilith's cot, slowly approaching, hoping his change in appearance and sudden reanimation won't scare Lilith*
Lilith : *was asleep+
*opens her eyez* d dada...?
*little horns present*
MrBBWolf: *smiles gently*
*quiet voice*
H-hey Lily..
Lilith: *sits up and giggles* dada! Dada!
MrBBWolf: *smiles, picking her up*
*turns her to face Chris, feeling along her spine and back for wings and a tail*
Okie doke. Im gonna disappear now, byeeeee
Lilith: *giggles*
*little lumps are where the wings will soon emerge€
(Bye flora)
MrBBWolf: *smiles at her little lumps of soon to be wings*
Chris: she's been grouchier than usual
Lilith: *squeals*
MrBBWolf: *winces at the squeal*
G-grouchy?
Chris: yes, crying more than usual
Lilith::: l luv d dada!
(I'm off to bed now
Nos da!)
Hi...
oh my...what kind of prof picture did you get clo? XD
Goodbye
(Hello.)
Liliana: *she presses against her, continuing the kiss*
Claire: Nope.
Lily: You know humans better than I do... What should I do?
(*hugs Ellie* hopefully it isn't..
*cuddles Soph tightly*)
Onwa: *smirks, pulling her closer, using tongue*
Yep.
Manuel: *strokes her wings gently*
It may be wise to find some way of hiding them.
(*cuddles Jaimie tightly back*)
Liliana: *she uses her tongue also*
Claire: Nope!
Lily: Such as?
(*smiles*)
Onwa: Mmm..
*pulls back, smirking*
Yep.
Manuel: I am unsure. I doubt they would fit under a shirt or dress.
Liliana: Mmm... I love you, Onwa.
Claire: So you're coming?
Lily: No, they wouldn't.
Onwa: *smiles*
I love you too Liliana.
*grunts*
Fine. But.. you're explaining it to Beth.
Manuel: Mm..
Liliana: *she runs a hand through Onwa's hair* You are beautiful.
Claire: Yep, sure.
Lily: Any ideas?
Onwa: *sighs happily*
Mmm.. I know.
*smirks*
Good.
*opens a portal back home for her to leave through*
Manuel: Silente may have been able to do it. Or another sigilist..
Liliana: Good. *she grins, kissing her passionately again*
Claire: *she steps through the portal*
Lily: Bethany's wife?
Onwa: *kisses her passionately back*
*murmurs*
As are you.
*follows her, moving to hugs Beth*
Manuel: Yes, Bethany's wife. She is rather skilled with sigils.
(The sooner I modrock this tree the better. Maybe then it won't stab me as much.)
Liliana: *she uses her tongue, shaking her head gently*
Bethany: *she hugs Silente back, tightly, nuzzling her shoulder* ... Can I ask what that was about?
Claire: Vigilante stuff. I'm going to go to Shanghai to make sure an assassin doesn't kill anyone.
Lily: Sigils are symbols, yes?
(Jaimie, what are you talking about?)
Onwa: *murmurs 'yes' while using tongue*
*smiles, kissing her cheek*
So she's decided to buy a mobile home thing so that we can go with her.
Manuel: Yes. They are essentially magic symbols.
(My art final piece is a tree made of wire covered in modrock and painted. However I haven't modrocked it all yet so the wire tips keep stabbing me and scratching me.)
Liliana: *she pinches Onwa's side, shaking her head again*
Bethany: Okay... What's a mobile home? And will you kill the assassin?
Claire: Probably. It'll be less death in the long run.
Lily: ... So we should go and see her?
(I see. That may not be so good. You could wear gloves, perhaps?)
(I have to go now. Goodbye. *cuddles Jaimie tightly*)
Onwa: *jumps slightly, chuckling, biting Liliana's lip and nodding slightly*
It's like a house on wheels.
Manuel: Yes, we should. I'm sure your sister will be pleased to see you.
(@soph maybe.
Also; *cuddles tightly back, smiling* love you too.)
Soph, this is mainly for you, okay? Did you miss Noelle's 'Goodbye....'? Or are you just preferring to focus completely on Jai?
Coz really man, that ain't how we roll here in Blogland. There are few people who are on here that are older than me (Zaf, Star, L and Noelle)... And really, I've had my spats with you newbies, but ignoring someone's quite possible suicide? It's disgusting.
Noelle has done so much for Blogland. She matter so much more than continuing your damned RP. So how about you grow a pair and shit yourself like the rest of us. Because our sister might be dead, and all you care about is that stupid RP.
...
Blogland used to be a place of support. Where we, the authors, would talk under our taken names. Roleplays barely happened. We used to support each other...
Look how far we've fallen...
And if you'll excuse me, I've got to go send my sister an email asking if she's okay and to hope that she keeps breathing.
*Leaves*
(Danielle - And what proof do you have, exactly, she was talking about suicide? She could have simply had to go elsewhere. All she said was goodbye. Yes, it could have meant suicide, but until further evidence is granted, there is nothing to gain from worrying. In addition, there have been people here who have said goodbye, possibly only to cause people to worry about them, before popping up the next day being perfectly fine. So it is a little hard to take it seriously, in the same respect that I do not believe anyone new ever turns up here, until I have sufficient evidence to prove otherwise. Perhaps if Noelle does not turn up within a week, I will say something. And although this does give a rather poor outlook on things, if she did kill herself, she would not see what I said, especially three hours after she had said it. The same would apply if she had to go somewhere or went to sleep - she would have either been and come home (most likely) or still be sleeping. The only way she would have read what I said is if she was alive, conscious and able to connect to the internet.
Also - I am not entirely sure about Noelle's feelings towards me, whether they be good or bad, but I do not think I would be able to help regardless, given that Trip, Alastair and Sir are perhaps the only ones able to do so. I would send her an email, if she did not specifically ask for people here not to email her. I am aware this is an emotional situation, but please try to think logically. You could spend your life worrying that the world will end tomorrow, but there is no evidence to suggest that it is, therefore there is nothing to gain from worrying about it. Once there is evidence which shows that the world will end, then it may be a good idea to act. But acting without evidence is stupid, and worrying unnecessarily is ridiculous. I believe it was Star who is/was worried about having cancer, but there is no evidence to suggest she has cancer, therefore worrying about it unnecessarily is rather pointless. Yes, it is possible she was talking about killing herself, but ask yourself this - could I have really stopped her, three hours later?)
(I would also like to point out, Danielle, that the only thing you have done here is criticise me, rather than showing any concern for Noelle. Which, given that you did not know whether I had emailed her not - similar to the position I am now in with you, makes you just as bad as you think I am.)
Liliana: I am not, Onwa.
Bethany: I'm not sure...
Lily: She will.
It's DanNielle, not Danielle.
And Sophia, have you been ignorant to everything Noelle has been saying? Have you really been that dull?? I have been on here a since flipping August of 2012. I've been on here way before you. I remember when you were still new. I remember Dragona Pine and always hating myself that I didn't get to talk to you as much as I could have. So don't even begin to say to me that the only thing I've done on here is chastise you. Because we both know that ain't true.
I've done so much for this damn blog. The reason I come on here and hate on what you do, is because I don't take kindly to people being shits to my friends. I'm protective of the ones I love. I'd much rather be scared shitless over Noelle than to wake up tomorrow and realise she's dead. Do you want to take that chance?? Do you want to have that guilt on your mind for the rest of your life???? Another reason I hate on you, the whole 'taking it too far' thing before. You were one of the main voices when Loki and Rose were taking it too far. And what did we do? We LISTENED to you. We left so you could all enjoy blogland without the 'explicit' stuff. And I was WARNING you. Because it didn't look like anyone else would.
...
Just so you know, Soph, I've emailed Noelle. I've told her that she's loved. And that's the absolute LEAST you could do. She's depressed.
She's suicidal.
And your freaking roleplay matters more than a human life.
Worse. Your freaking roleplay matters more than a sister's life.
@Noelle You're a decent person and I don't want you to die. I'm here for uou, tell me if there's anything I can do to make you feel better. And there are people who care for you.
@Danni and @Sophia Arguing isn't helping anyone.
*you
Arguing seems to be all I'm doing with everyone except John right now.
*Shrugs*
*Curls up somewhere warm*
(All she said was goodbye. You are basing your entire argument on a single word with no evidence to suggest that she was talking about killing herself, rendering this argument pointless. We do not know who is right or wrong, meaning that it would be better to wait for more evidence (i.e. my point), before discussing it.
In all fairness, feeling guilt for the death of someone thousands of miles away when I was asleep at the time would be stupid, and ridiculous. I came here three hours later. Your point is completely invalid. It was not half an hour, or three quarters of an hour, it was three hours. Whatever would have happened, would have already happened. If there was a bomb blast where you were heading, but you turned up three hours after the explosion had already happened, could you be blamed for not evacuating someone? No. You could not. You were not there, there is nothing you could do, and even if you were - you would be very limited in help.
If I email her, which I may, they will be on my terms, not yours. I will not be guilt tripped into it, I shall email her when I believe it is a good time to worry, and not before.
Again with the roleplay? Between that, the mentioning of "taking it too far" and talk of Dragona, you are really struggling to come up with a coherent argument. Perhaps your attempts to make me look like a horrible individual would actually work if what you were saying had any relevance to the current discussion. The roleplay is nothing to do with Noelle, neither is Dragona, nor you and Loki. The roleplay is not more important than someone's life; there is just no evidence to suggest anything bad has happened, so I am not worrying about it at this current time, which I have been saying from the start. How you managed to deduce that a roleplay is more important than someone's life is beyond me, as I have neither said nor done anything which gives evidence of that.)
*sighs*
*Laughs*
You don't give two shits about a sister, do you? Even if Noelle doesn't matter to you, you still can't say something decent. Ever.
You are an idiot.
A fool blinded by their own ego and desire for roleplaying.
Have you ever thought that maybe, even though it appears she means absolutely nothing to you, that Noelle means something to the rest of us? And by not even saying anything about hoping that she is alright and safe, that instead, you continue to argue with me? Mature.
Even if the possibility of one of our family does not seem to phase you, then perhaps this is not the right place for you to be, Keating. I have never once believed in saying that someone does not belong, but Blogland is for people that care about one another, not people who care solely for characters and roleplays.
Blogland is for people who care about the authors, as well as the characters.
It is difficult to not fear for Noelle after she has posted so many comments about not being okay and then an eerie "Goodbye". Anyone in their right mind can see what that means. Perhaps I shall simplify it for you, as your dull mind might have trouble with what I'm saying.
Suicidal messages + Feeling depressed + Talking about killing herself + "Goodbye" and no before message = Suicide
Or was that still too hard for you to understand?
Perhaps Noelle did decide to sleep before she tried to kill herself? What then? She will probably look on the blog for Alastair and see you breeze over her final goodbye... Not seeing it. That would fuck me up, too.
Anyone with a heart can see what would be the right thing to do in this situation.
But perhaps you don't have one after all... That being said, it would explain so, so much more.
Imagine it was Jai who said "Goodbye" after talking about being suicidal and feeling alone.
Would you still ignore her, even if three hours had passed?
Danni, email.
*hugs Hopey* :/
@Hope can you email me, please?
(You say a sister, but she is not my sister. She may be yours, but in relation to me, your point is invalid.
And now you have resorted to insults. Another sign of someone who cannot form a coherent argument.
What you have deduced from what Noelle has said may not be correct. I perfectly understand the situation, but I have inferred nothing - preferring to wait until more evidence is available before I start to worry. Which, given the current state of your argument, is somewhat more logical than... whatever it is that you have decided to do. We simply have different ways of operating, nothing more. You prefer to jump to conclusions and act straight away, and I prefer to hang back until I am sure of the situation before I act. That is all it is.)
*hugs Kas back*
*sent an email*
@Soph: While that's your style, and I get it, still. What if by the time you should be worrying, it's already too late? Suicide is a very serious matter that people should take seriously. Because why do we act like they're okay when we should /know/ they aren't? This is the kind of thing that can drive someone further to wanting to kill themselves just to prove their point, and even if they don't die when an attempt is made, doesn't mean there won't come a time when it happens for real.
I'm sorry, but I just wanted to say that.
Replied.
You are duller than I thought.
Noelle and I are not related by blood. We are sisters in spirit. Blogland is a family.
Believe it or not, I prefer to sit on the sidelines. Observe. I don't jump to conclusions. However, I understand what Noelle is going through.
You may not have realised this, but November last year, I tried to kill myself. I overdosed. I understand what she's going through. I get the facts, add them to what she's feeling and what she says, and add my own experience, and you can understand that, after all those times she's said that she wants to die, that she's going out and doing it.
You dull creature, Sophia. You're not a part of this family. I think it might be best if you find another place, because this blog isn't for you. It's for people who care for one another, and don't take chances with the lives of others.
Yes. Shun me. Yell at me. I don't care. I'm not going to back down from what I've said.
And, y'know what? I'm a horrible human being. That's why I'm not on here. Yeah, I'll admit it. But I still CARE about my family on here.
And you still have not answered my question. If Jai had written that and posted a whole heap of sad and clearly 'im depressed' messages, would you have left her.
*Laughs*
You need to care about everyone if you want to be a decent person, Keating.
*Checks time*
And it appears that, while arguing, I've gotten even more behind on my homework. Eh, it was worth it.
Noelle, keep breathing, okay? Please...
*hugs Danni*
*hugs Kas, and replied*
*hugs everyone*
*and now she has to go*
*sighs*
Good bye, Danni and Tami.
*sighs*
Good bye, Danni and Tami.
(Tamami - You act like I could do anything, anyway?
Dannielle - Back with the insults, I see. I am aware of what you claim to have done, but you act like I am completely clueless about the matter. I am not. I am aware of what Noelle is going through.
I am not going anywhere, but perhaps if you want me to leave, you should try and make me.
Apologies, I actually did not see the question. I have never been in the situation, so I would not know how I would act. Regardless, Jaimie and Noelle are different people, and the situations would be different. I know Jaimie extremely well, and I know how to reason with her. I do not know Noelle very well, and I do not know what would help her. If I was able to help, yes, I would act - but I am more likely to make it worse, rather than better, due to my lack of closeness with Noelle.
I have no intentions of being a decent person, actually.)
COME ON! I SAID I WAS SLEEPING!!
*Fumes*
Sophia. You're a sick human being. What you feel for Jai, that's what many of us feel for Noelle.
Okay, let's play pretend for a bit.
Jai is depressed. Suicidal. She's been having really bad thoughts and she doesn't feel loved. She says "Goodbye" out of no where and no one hears from her.
You get worried.
Then I come on and start roleplaying like nothing has happened.
Would you get angry? Would you feel upset that some monster would just come along and not care for someone important to you when you fear they may be dead?
I don't care if it's the character talking right now Keating. The author at least has some human dignity, right? Some small amount of compassion and empathy?
*Groans and storms off to actually sleep*
...
(Hello?)
Hey, Bach.
(*curls up* this is no place for fighting)
(If said person barely knew Jaimie and was more likely to do harm than good; no, I would not care whether they started to roleplay.)
(RIGHT
Not totally sure what's going on
But I can tell a bomb has gone off
Right, what I think we have here is conflicting opinions
And may I say that I see where both of you is coming from
What I think is best is to accept eachothers different opinions, and move on instead of imposing your views on eachother
There is no right or wrong, the only thing that'll come from this is hurt and anger and frustration!)
*leaves more hugs and heads off to sleep*
Good night, Tami!
*hugs back*
(Right.
Yes.
Let's theorize shall we.
Say Jaimie had been upset, maybe she feels LIKE A DAMN OBJECT WHICH IS ONLY EVER USED TO HURT HER FRIENDS/SISTERS. Say this depresses her and continues to depress her and keeps happening DESPITE HER ASKING FOR IT TO STOP ALREADY and so she gets highly depressed and isolates herself so she can't be used as a weapon against people and avoids the blog except for when she wants to just talk about one or two things but not talk to anyone. Lets say she, out of nowhere says goodbye with the intention to harm or kill herself, as she has done before.
Situation 1 - Shes ignored by everyone. You'd be surprised how often this can happen. This makes her feel bad and confirms her suspicions of being useless. She goes and does what she wanted to.
Situation 2 - Some people (in the two or so minutes she spends just to see if anyone cares) ask if she's okay or talk to her even in a tiny way, but some continue rping and ignore her. She feels okayish because at least some people care. She doesn't resent those who didn't say anything.
Situation 3 - Everyone drops everything and talks to her. She feels bad because she's keeping everyone from enjoying themselves and is making a scene.
Even if someone says something, I don't check three hours later. I do what I do then curl up crying, usually ignoring my phone, except for when Soph messages me before I a) put my phone in silent or b) turn my internet off.
Now STOP USING ME AS A F*CKING WEAPON BECAUSE EACH TIME YOU DO IT MAKES ME FEEL WORSE AND WORSE. Thank you.)
Onwa: You are.
*kisses her cheek gently*
It may be the lesser of two evils..
Manuel: Then shall we?
Y'know, I don't say this to anyone very often, but Sophia, you are an idiot. Drop the foolish little "I'm not a nice person" persona. There's method acting, then there's stupidity.
(*glares at protector*)
*very deep breaths*
*mutters swear words*
*bangs head against wall*
Ow.
I don't know why I do that.
Look.
I believe this really stems from what you class as CARING.
I choose to show I care about people by doing the most logical thing, on the grounds that it would be best for them.
You, Dannielle, appear to wish to show you care about people by being illogical, on the grounds that it displays that you have gone out of your mind from the emotional overdose of that amount of caring.
I can see your logic. When I get very emotional, I do things like bang my head into walls, which really isn't smart. I also tend to swear a lot. Whereas if I don't care I'm just like "yeah whatevs."
However, the thing is, insulting Sophia will not help Noelle /in any way/. In fact, it will probably make her MORE depressed to come back here and see us fighting.
I really think when you feel overly emotional, for whatever reason, you need to calm down and take a few breaths and bang your head into the wall and maybe find someone to rant to before you do your talking (not that I always do this. Angry Me wants to yell at people, and she sometimes does it quickly before Logical Me comes back and stops me doing it). Because when you're emotional, you don't always act your most logical and there's a good chance you could hurt someone, as is proven by you today.
It must be noted that when I am concerned about someone on here, you will rarely see me respond with my concern unless I was online at the time of the thing that caused my to concern. This is sometimes because I have emailed them separately, and I don't see the need to come online and say "I emailed so-and-so to show I care, aren't I great?" so the wider population of Blogland are not aware of that.
Other times, I don't email the person I am concerned about. This is generally because I have no clue how to help them.
In the case of Noelle, I have no clue how to help her, but I wouldn't email her with my concern anyway because she has EXPLICITLY told us all not to email her.
Additionally, when it is THREE HOURS after the event, I don't express my concern as soon as they come online because the other person isn't online. If I haven't emailed them, then I may ask them how they are as soon as they come online again to check they're okay, but talking to them when they aren't there seems slighlty pointless to me, because there's nnot always a chance of them seeing it, whereas if I save it till they appear then I KNOW they'll see it.
Additionally, if they knew I was worrying about them, they might feel guilty for not coming online. I wouldn't want that.
And furthermore, if they get over it and are okay, then I can imagine that wouldn't want me bringing it up again later. Maybe this imagining is incorrect, but either way, an "Are you okay?" either emailed or when they next appear gives them the opportunity to talk to me about it if they want to do and duck out of it if they want to.
Yeah.
My methods.
Do you take fault with them? I'm honestly curious. Please - and this addresses everyone - feel free to criticise me. I'm so bad at helping people that tips are always welcome.
One last point -
Noelle specifically said that she didn't want people to email her/*insert other method of communication here* if they didn't really care about her. So if Sophia didn't really care about Noelle, then pretending she did would have been directly against Noelle's wishes and not helped her at all, and as such, you should be glad she said nothing. If Sophia DOES really care about Noelle, then well, your argument is moot, is it not?
One last last point -
I really respect your tendency to stick up for people. Really I do. But is it too much to request that you stick up for people without knocking others down in the process? Imagine there are ten green bottles hanging on the wall, and one falls off because the hook it was one broke. If you take another bottle off the wall to put the first one back up, there's still a bottle on the floor. Nothing has been fixed. What you need to do is fix the HOOK, which, guaranteed, is somewhat harder, but you may as well be starting to work on it rather that wasting energy moving bottles around.
Yes? No?
(*nods at both star and Elleni*
*murmurs* and please stop using me as a weapon..)
Might I point out that Sophia is the root of most arguments and so the quote unquote logical thing to do would be remove her?
Just sayin.
Not really here.
(*glares at John*
If you have a particularly difficult sibling in your family do you remove them?
No. You don't.
People say the blog is a family, well family stick together.
Ohanna means family.
Family means no one gets left behind.
Or forgotten.
OR FORCED AWAY.)
Because this "family" has done an exemplary job of that in the past.
*sighs*
Stop arguing, Dannielle isn't even here.
(@John well then perhaps instead of trying to force more people away we should adapt hmm? Would that not be more logical?)
Ooh.
Fun times in art today.
It sort of turned into an episode of Corination Street with Molly arguing with Josh (they kind of act like they're a couple, like they flirt with each other and sit next to each other and kiss each other and stuff, but Molly has a boyfriend) and Molly was being unreasonable and Josh was trying to sort it out but she wouldn't tell him what he was doing wrong, and then our art teacher was like "Do you really have to do this in here?" and the people on the other side of the classroom were like "NOOO! DON'T MAKE IT STOP! THIS IS THE BEST ENTERTAINMENT WE'VE HAD IN WEEKS! WE HAVE EXAMS RIGHT NOW! WE NEED ENTERTAINMENT!" and our artg teacher was liek "Oh, all right then," and then they carried on arguing for a bit. But then the people on the other side of the classroom kind of interrupted the argument and were liek "Why are you being so mean to Josh, Molly?" and "Why is this even happening? You shouldn't be doing this when you have a boyfriend," and then Molly was liek "You have no idea what my life is like. Stop trying to infere when you don't know what you're talking about," and then they had a little argument and then Molly ran out of the classroom.
Like
ran out the classroom.
And her friend ran out after her (to check if she was okay like) and then some of the other-side-of-the-classroom girls ran out too to see where they'd gone. :P
And then my art teacher called Josh up to her desk and was kind of like talking to him and he and Axel (who's friends with both Molly and Josh) were telling Miss about the whole situation and about Molly's boyfriend and about how Molly liked causing problems but not solving them, and then Miss said "Is there anyone else you're interested in?" and then the other-side-of-the-classroom girls were like "OMG Josh are you talking about your love life? Awhhhh!" and then they were all like "Team Josh!" and Josh was just sort of like -
ah.
Can't explain what he was like.
He was just sort of like, "Yeah. Team Josh."
And then yeah. O_O
(Hello.
*I cuddle Jaimie very tightly*
Protector - Why, exactly, do you think it is a persona? What evidence do you have of that? Because I can assure you it is not. I do not concern myself with the whole concept of being "nice" and "not nice". In that respect, I am neither. However, my past and current actions would perhaps tilt me towards the "not nice" end of the scale.
Star - Yes. I agree with every single thing you have said. And I believe your methods are perfectly fine.)
Liliana: I am not, Onwa.
Bethany: Do you think?
Lily: *she smiles* Yes. I think Bethany once told me where she lives... Near the waterfall?
(@Kas sorry, but this is annoying me now.)
Alright everybody you heard the lady, let's all change ourselves to create an environment better suited to a self-entitled heartless bitch.
Ummm . . .
The reason Sophia causes arguments is partially beacuse Sophia says what we're all thinking but are too afraid to say, because we're afraid of hurting people and being disliked but she isn't.
(It's kind of like soldiers in a way. She didn't cause the war, she's just involved in it while we're not because she's prepared to fight and we're not.)
And because she does those things, she ends up hurting people and being disliked.
Hence, people dislike her.
Hence, people pick on her, and that creates more arguments centred around here.
(And Elleni - Yes, I agree again.
John - May I point out that I did not actually cause that argument. I literally did nothing.)
(*cuddles Soph tightly back*)
Onwa: You are to me.
Yeah.. Yeah maybe.
Manuel: That is indeed where she lives.
@Lumen: Uh . . . I like enviroments better suited to self-entitled heartless bitches, personally. I tend to get on in them better.
@Sophia: Thank you. :)
Yeah. You didn't cause that one. That was one that people caused because they didn't like you, like this one is.
Liliana: Hmph. You know I cannot argue with that.
Bethany: ... I... I'm still not sure... But... Okay...
Lily: *she extends her hand to him, stretching her wings a little* Take my hand, Friendship.
@Elleni: I think that was pretty much what Dannielle did, albeit in an angry way (and I mean, anger often gets the better of me, too). It was only when Sophia tried to justify herself that the insulting began.
Onwa: Good.
*smirks*
*kisses her gently*
It's okay.
Manuel: *pauses before taking her hand*
I really should be distant . . . revision. :/
(All this revision is beginning to wear me down a bit).
So you mean to tell me that you are always like this no matter who you interact with and no matter the medium of interaction? My statement stands. You are an idiot.
@Protector: . . . ?
I don't get how you get that conclusion . . . ?
Surely if SOphia could maintain an effective persona that would require quite a bit of intelligence and would therefore make her not an idiot . . . ?
(@Protector stop calling her an idiot. Making derogatory comments just makes you seem childish and 'silly.')
And that's one of the major points of the problem, Star. There is no justification for the way she acts.
(@John But surely the fact that that is her personality counts as justification. There's no justification as to why C is slightly sadistic, there's is no justification as to why some people believe it morally okay to insult others to make their point.)
Protector, J, stop with the insults.
(Actually no that's wrong.
There is justification.
But that's where psychology is involved.)
(*hugs Ellie*)
Good bye, El.
@Lumen: . . . .
:S
I'm confused . . .
:S
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Seriously. I don't get it.
What's a major point of the problem . . . ?
Of course there's a justification for the way she acts. We do email from time to time, and when I disagree with her I usually say, and she usually explains herself. And sometimes I disagree with her actions and sometimes I agree with them, but they are all perfectly justified and they all make perfect sense. To me, at least.
And in answer to Elleni -
yeah.
You are thinking only logically, Star. The IQ of Sophia's author has nothing to do with weather or not he/she is an idiot in this regard. The thought that he/she can simply say whatever they like because it is "logical" makes them a fool.
Ooh.
Well done, Jai. :)
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