The final book.
The last Skulduggery.
I've been writing these books since 2005, so for me it's been nine years of living with these characters, in this world. I knew saying goodbye was not going to be easy...
But I haven't had to say goodbye yet. Not really. I wrote the book. I edited. I went through it again and again. I decided on covers, on approaches. I approved tour schedules and special events. I prepared. I tweeted. I blogged. I kept busy. I kept looking forward...
But now... now (most of) the preparation is done. I just have to turn up now, and talk, or sign, or talk and sign, and meet people and go places.
It's going to sink in NOW. I can feel it.
No more Skulduggery Pleasant.
I'm going to give my usual "No Spoilers" speech now. So, like, no spoilers, people. The comment section above is for spoilers, not this one.
But even outside of this blog, please be considerate of your fellow Minions. Don't go blasting spoilers on Facebook or Twitter or Tumblr. Be subtle about it, and if you can't be subtle, go LOUD with the spoiler warning.
And when I say spoiler I don't just mean" "Oh my god, I can't believe THIS CHARACTER did THAT to THAT OTHER CHARACTER!"
I also mean spoilers in a more general sense. For example, saying things like: "Derek, I can't believe you did that! I'll never forgive you! How could you?? That was my favourite character!!"
Or: "I'm so delighted! I loved it and the ending was just what I wanted!"
You have friends, Minions, who know your hopes and dreams. They know your favourite characters. They know what you're dreading. So don't confirm any of these things when you comment, even if you make sure not to get too specific. If you love the book, tell me. If you hate the book, tell me that too. But keep in mind that other people will be reading, and if you give away what kind of ending the book has, you've just cheated them out of finding out for themselves.
I love your enthusiasm. Your enthusiasm makes these books what they are. So while you're being considerate of your friends, be sure to revel in your enthusiasm, and your excitement, and your dread, and your horror, and your happiness and your despair.
I hope you like it.
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4,719 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 400 of 4719 Newer› Newest»Ya know what? I don't have enough optimism right now...
I'll try later..
(I thought red but the uniform was blue.
Sil: half armour half fabric...hmm...)
Ya know what? I don't have enough optimism right now...
I'll try later..
Ya know what? I don't have enough optimism right now...
I'll try later..
Aww Dugg 😨 always be optimistic!
Triple post..
Cool.
Derek is hidiny.-Zag
No, it's just the last book... it's coming. I don't know.. I didn't realize how much I'll miss waiting for more books.. I don't want it to end but of doesn't end it'd be bad. I'm worried. The monster hunters...
Probably smart...
Cause if the monster hunters die...
I'm jumping on the next plane on some Tuesday to decapitate him.
Hmmm
Quick question... Whose a valduggery shipper?
*takes cover*
(Not Valduggery so much..I mean, a little.... But Lord Vile x Darqursse very much so.)
Hmm, I'm not. I don't know... they make great partners and they definitely care for each other greatly but in my opinion, not romantically. It just seems odd to me.
Yeah, I see Lord Vile and Darquesse..
I ship them
'Age is just a number, maturity is a choice'
(I ship no one. I am involved in no ships.)
Shoot. I realized that I've been acting sane all morning! This is not good..
Please don't let it break me back..
(You know...skulduggery would be TERRIFYING if he knew his true name...he's already like really deadly....imagine him when he knows his name...O_O)
Except Droki.....!! XD
Argh. Got to go. Bye...!
Tbh
I didn't think of it... But then I found fanfic and now I have high hopes 😅
Byii Dugg
(Bye Dug!)
Omg ur right Sil 😱
(Okay IF YOU HAVEN'T READ LSODM THEN DON'T READ THIS COMMENT, YOU WONT GET IT!)
(What if the only reason Darquesse goes bad is the accelerator?)
Oh my 😰....
(@Flick I know I am I always am...joking. But seriously...Skul with his true name....scary.)
I have pondered many times what his true name could be
I mean 'pete' would seem too ordinary
(Lol I think my brain is trying to guess what happens in the book now...)
(I mean I already thought that Ravel might be the willing sacrifice for the accelerator...but what if it already starts effecting people...Darquesse would probably be sensetive to this...and the power would drive her insane...)
Holy fudge
I just can't wait ... To see how it all ends... dEREK WEPT
Omg I'm watching young vets
Te UNi parties at Christmas are AMAZING
Omg I'm watching young vets
Te UNi parties at Christmas are AMAZING
(Oh I love my brain. So many random theories grow in there.
Or she could get jealous of the refl- of Stephanie. Because Darqursse as she is still she's them as her family.
But if the visions are still right the reflection somehow learns to manipulate ait despite not being able to use magic..
Which means it gets magic...
Which leads me back to the accelerator making Darquesse crazy theory...)
(I'm watching Murder She Wrote.)
Cool Dragon🐲
Ahh Sil! Don't cufuddle my pea sizes brain!
(I'm watching bake off)
(sorry Flick.)
(I very much doubt there will be a happy ending...not when derek was behind the typing.)
(I hope everyone dies in the SP book.)
(I hope there's a nice ending
Even if it's just for one person...)
(lovely Draggie XD
For one person? Yeah maybe....probably a bad person...and the 'happy ending' might just be...not a bad ending...)
(Oh bloody hell
I want to read it noowwwwwŵ!)
(So do IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! I can't wait...but i don't want it to end...but I can't not read it...)
(Mine should be here tomoz morning but I can't start it util the evenig 😭)
(My friend just messaged me, she has it! )
(HOW?!?!)
(WHAT?! HOW DOES SHE HAVE IT ALREADY?!?!)
(The special edition....it shipped to her. She sent me a pic and everything!)
(Thats...that's....THAT'S CHEATING!)
I ordered the special edition tho!
(There's only one explaination. Viv your friend has a time machine. Maybe not now, maybe future her has one and came back to deliver the book, buy its true.)
(I'm just going to pick up the first book I see...
I only care about special editions when it comes to video games...
Or books based on video games... *coughs* I have a book full of Mass Effect concept art which is an edition with only 1000 copies *coughs*)
( observe. --------->)
HOLY FUDGING HELL!
Hnuajfntowx
(If there's a special edition THERE, sure, I'll get it. But if there isn't I won't go looking for one.)
I pre-ordered it too but because I live in the USA it will take 21 days...!
(I have every Assassin's Creed game in special edition.)
*kisses Sil fiercely while her author is gone*
*looks away*
Nothing happened. Nothing to see folks.
Inky: *arches an eyebrow at Viv* really?
(my brain: Burn the witch!
Me: she's a time traveler not a witch!
My brain: Burn the time traveler!
Me: burning people is bad and out of date!
My brain: ...kill her!
Me: that's illegal!
My brain: CONFISCATE THE BOOK UNTIL TOMORROW!
Me: That's worse than the burning!
My brain: FINE! ....RIP OUT THE LAST PAGE! OR THE FIRST PAGE! *nods*)
(You want to know the funny part? She can't read it tonight because of all her homework!)
@Inky: really what?
*acts innocent*
(That's funny
I can't read mine when it comes
Tomoz cos I'm on work experience !)
(Good! She's not allowed to! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cough* I mean ohh poor her....)
Sil2: *pokes Viv in the back of the head*
*spins him around and kisses him twice as fiercely, laughing and turning from him afterwards*
*motions to eerywhere* nothing to see? You're in broad daylight
I'm pretty sure I can read mine when it comes..
Oh, Viv, did anything bad happen when she opened it?
*sits underneath her tree*
*sneaks away from Chris*
*goes to local pub*
Bartender : haven't seen you in a while.
Inky: well I'm back*slams cash on bar* keep em coming!
*drinkss pint of cider *
(I will have to wait a little while...just till we finish the shopping...then I get to read it...)
Ashlea: *sits with Leri*
*hugs Ashlea*
... Hi Elleni.
We El... if we meet... maybe you can borrow it....
(*hugs El*)
*looks up at El*
Hi....how are you?
Chris:has anyone seen Inky? She got away again!
Inky: *starts hiccuping after a few pints*
Another! *everyone cheerinv*
Ashlea: *hugs Leri back*
I don't know...we ran when she tried to attack us...she might be with Sophia?
*kisses Sil*
Be happy everyone!
Sil2: *kisses Viv back* hey...I missed you..
Chris: HAS ANYONE SEEN INKY?
(Silente tried to attack people - namely Leri and Ashlea. Quite a few people tried to stop her. Sophia nearly killed her. The Assassin saved her - she's currently with him.)
Assassin: *looks at the thoroughly chained Silente* See what happens when you hurt people who you shouldn't?
... Sophia was there... so was the assassin... and a few other people... I... I don't know where Silente is... we ran...
Ashlea: *jumps and looks at Chris* n-no...she might be at the pub?
... I'm sorry I haven't seen Inky...
*is slowly waking up still after those stupid drugs*
*blinks and tries to stretch before realising she can't thanks to chains*
*looks up quickly, meeting the assassins gaze*
(In an undisclosed location.)
Assassin: Hurting those who you should not will only bring harm upon yourself. This is what I have been telling you. And you refused to listen. Now do you see?
(Ha, like Viv will let that continue)
*steps out nearby*
*blinks at him, refusing to talk*
*wonders how strong these chains are*
(Okay - what kind of person would let their little girl have a UZI submachine gun? Even at a shooting range?
And then everyone is surprised when she accidentally shoots a shooting instructor.
Idiots. -_-)
Assassin: You are securely bound. I wish to help you, can you not see that?
Right now i can't see a lot of things. Features mainly. What the hell did you inject me with?
*blinks again, trying to clear the remaining fog*
*blinks a couple of times*
*walks off quietly*
*arroves at pub*
*goes in to find inky winning an arm wrestle match against the biggest man in the pub*
Inky: yay!!!! *hiccup*
*notices chris, frowns * don't you dare...
*chris picks her up and flings her onto his shoulder while walks out*
*inky kicks and screams at him* you. Always. Ruin. My. Fun!
Chris: you're too young to drink. You will harm yourself !
Inky: no I won't!!*moans*
-goes to cottage-
*chris puts inky to bed*
*gors to leave *
Inky: don't leave*goes into the fetal position*the nightmares will come back
Chris: nightmares? *sits on bedside *
*inky wraps arms around his waist *
Hm...
Assassin: A drug. That is all you need to know. By doing so, I saved your life. Do not make me, or Sophia, regret this.
(hm Fabi?)
Oh but its SOOO fun to make Sophia regret stuff.
*blinks the last of the fog away and smiles*
That's better. I can see again. Hello.
Hello, Elleniiiiii
(Sil! You have a ring!)
(Yes! She does! She is also chained up! Reaching said ring isn't easy! And she doesn't like pulling the diamonds out...they're pretty...)
Assassin: But it is not worth dying for. She will kill you. I am all that stood between you and certain death. You need to change.
(Does she want to live long enough to get another type of ring? *cough, cough*)
(Hi Fab)
Inky: *has nightmares about finding her whole pack killed*
*wakes up screaming at the memory of finding her fathers mutilated body*
Chris: shhh it was only a dream *soothes her*
*inky moves over*
Inky: you can lay down aswell... Please?
Chris: okay *lays next to inky and wraps his hands around her, trying not to touch her bare skin, in fear that she may be repulsed by his scaley touch*
*inky falls asleep finally*
Hi Silente. Yes. Hm.
No, Elleni, I have not. I've been busy cleaning the house and now I'm busy eating lunch.
(well..yes....)
Certain death isn't very certain.
*smiles and pulls against the chains, forwards, so that her arms are pulled behind her*
Ow...damn these chains are strong...
*rolls the ring so the diamonds are on the inside*
Second most chains I've had attached to me before.
Assassin: *activates his computer, and a large double-barrelled automated turret slides down from the ceiling*
You do not know the half of it. I am here to help you. Without me, you will die.
(Aha, I win!)
Oh my god
Great British bake off is suspenseful!
*looks up at the turret*
Uh...that's a big gun...
*pulls against the chains and growls when they hold her in place*
A big gun that I can't dodge...
*while all this is happening she's pulling at the ring and the diamonds in it, trying to ween one free*
Don't shoot?
Assassin: I wish to help you. Not to kill you. I want you to see the error in your ways and change appropriately. Just because you have a heart of darkness, does not mean you have to use your skills to cause destruction.
*lays back in a lawn chair, get's up again*
*why is he so restless?*
*curls up against Ashlea*
I'm sorry how will a big gun make me see the errors of my ways?
*is starting to regret leaving the ring on her left hands ring finger, its a tricky thing to get a diamond free with only a pinky finger and a thumb*
(Dang it! I got to go!)
Ashlea: *smiles and hugs Leri to her*
Assassin: My voice will make you see the error of my ways. The gun has pressure senses on the inside of the chains, for if you manage to escape.
(Byii Viv)
(aww...:( )
*looks up at the gun*
Hmm...so if the chains snap that goes bang...
*tilts her head, wondering about how quickly she can move from such a close threat*
*doubtful*
Then use your voice, oh wise one, try and show me the error of my ways, but first! How long was I out for?
(I'm going to watch Pokemon now
Byii)
Assassin: The gun will fire if the pressure changes on the chains. Which includes things like snapping, or if you manage to slip out of them.
You were out for one day.
(Bai then Flick!)
(I have like two minutes if we rp really really quickly!)
Okay, before I say anything, anything at all
Has anyone heard from Death?
*sighs*
Yey. Fun. I hate this sort of binding. I usually only get out of them by playing dead. But you know I'm alive already. You couldn't have put me in more comfortable chains could you?
(teo minutes probably isnt enough Viv.
She came on a bit earlier Snow...I think she's okay.)
(Just RP!)
So I'm playing the game I like...my character is mainly fire, but I have other schools to study on different characters, so I'm on my Ice one and I'm looking through my list of spells to learn, and I'm like OH YES MY LEVEL 48 SPELL IS FROST GIANT!!-Zaf
Assassin: I couldn't.
You got hurt because of the way you act. This needs to change.
(I swear, if I do Archaeology at university and someone asks me who my role model is, I'm just going to say Indiana Jones.)
(@Zaf: XD!!!)
I can breathe again. Okay. Thanks
Mhmm.
*pulls one of the diamonds free and drops it behind her*
And you are going to change this?
Sadly I'm only level 21...Though Ice is based off pretty much what you'd expect of a Frost Giant, so I'm laughing. One spell: Evil Snowman. I can just hear do you wanna build a snowman.
-Zaf
*appears where the diamond lands*
*sizes up the situation*
(Got to go )
Assassin: I cannot. It must be you who changes. It must be voluntarily. You need to see the error in your own ways.
As long as you continue to hurt those who you shouldn't, you will continue to get hurt yourself. You are defeating yourself, by default, as soon as you start.
Everyone is designed to do a job. This - this is not what you are supposed to do.
(Bye Viv. You helped so much XD)
Then what am I supposed to do?
Assassin: Kill those who deserve it. Kill the people who need to die for the survival of the many. There are enough signs to tell you that what you do is wrong. You must listen to me if you are to survive. I will not always be around to save your life. If I am not - you will die.
I've died many times before. I'll probably die many times again...although how many times I can die without the resurrection sigils or people failing I don't know..
(Hey Deathy! How are you?)
(I'm alive. That is about all...
You?)
*hugs Death* please stop giving me heart attacks.
(I'm alive. Thank you for asking. Had a good sleep?)
Assassin: It would be wiser not to test your luck with death. If you listen to me, you will not die.
(Snow, the name is DEATH Rose. I've got a special place in Hell for me. I'm eager to see it.)
(I had a shit night sleep. I'd wake up every couple of hours and reply to Em's emails.)
*continues to hug Rose*
(Bye Draggie!)
(Ah...I hope you sleep better tonight?)
(Bye Dragona)
(Snow, I'll die at the rate. But I'll die at your hand, not my own...)
(Maybe...)
You do realize that if I ever I met any of you inl I would hug you til it got awkward, and then continue hugging you for five minutes after its awkward. *nods*
(erm....wait what? Snow...if we ever meet, for btg's sake, I will have to make sure to wear spiky clothing and defend myself against the hugs.)
*irl
(Well... That might just happen if you're going to Melbourne...
NIXYPOOS WILL BE THERE!)
Arnold, I'd hug you if you suddenly turned into a porcupine. I don't care about spikes. >:D
Damn! Well there goes plan A..and plan B....and C for that matter.
evening all.
Hey Em! How are you?
IM TRYING TO CONVINCE THE PARENTS. IM USING EVERY BIT OF INFORMATION I CAN. THINKS LIKE NOT GETTING SOMETHING FOR AN EXALENT REPORT, OR DOING EXTRA JOBS.
Hey Em!
*Cuddles*
Thank you....
*things
*hugs Rose* Any time.
Aww shoot.
I dedicate this page to the countdown. The one on the page. It's such a small thing but soon, soon it'll reach zero. If it hasn't already..
Do you want to go first, Em?
ily3
Hear hear
No, no. After you m'lady.
MY MUM IS TAKING ME TO BIG W THIS AFTERNOON TO SEE IF THEY HAVE IT
IF NOT, WE'RE GOING BOOK HUNTING ON SATURDAY
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
(<3)
*She smiled at Marrok, who she had pulled onto her lap, and then at Ariana by her side. She was eager for Casha an Lorcan to return home, but part of her wasn't. That part wanted her and Roland to take care of the two like they were now.
She stood up, leaving Ariana and Marrok together and on the sofa, and hunted down Roland*
Love? Where are you?
Alright, she's with Roland, I shall go back to my usual lurking.
(I can still talk with you, Loki.)
If you want, I can talk. Do not ask why, but around 7pm my time my author has a hair appointment, I know not why so late.
(I've got appointment at 6:30pm today. Odd.
How are you?)
(Goodnight, Em.)
*Roland finished washing dishes and utensils as he was wiping his hands on a towel.*
Roland: I'm here dear. Is everything alright?
(Added two more posters to my Mass Effect poster collection.)
I am fine, I am simply quite worried about my family, but I am fine otherwise. We have a slight Fire Demon problem on Asgard.
(That goodnight was in advance.)
*She smiled at Roland as she entered the kitchen. He was perfect. She sat on the counter beside him and tugged on his shirt, bringing him to her*
I'm fine, I just got a sudden urge to tell you that I love you. And thank you.
(Congrats Dragona!)
(Fire Demon...? Let me guess, the long lost enemy of the Frost Giants?)
From another realm. They're a bit annoying, but Zanida and Thor are working on it. Thor decided what my sister's punishment is, she can't leave the realm without him, and she's also helping with the training of the kids age eight to ten, she hates it, as she has zero paitence.
(Thank you. My wall is quite impressive looking. Pictures of starships and Reapers and characters and places and now the renegade logo just because it's cool.)
(Aw, poor Zan.
*She snickered*
Well, kingly bodyguard. That's more than a lot of people can say they have. I've got a God. They have people. Heh...)
(Well, Dragona, my wall is purple. And has a Stig poster... An that's it...)
You have a very handsome god.
((Msd for dinner...))
()
Nah, he's not too handsome. He's cute. Like, puppy cute.
((My walls are green, with Twilight, Harry Potter, The Avengers, and The Hunger Games posters...-Zaf
I am not a puppy, I am a god.
(Msd for fifteen minutes as I get to school... Not now. But in a sec...)
(*smirks* see this is why I like Deathy. She's ace and makes me laugh.)
Understood, if I do not reply I am simply eating.
()
You're more like a puppy. Definitely cute enough for a puppy. And sweet enough.
You're like a Bulldog. All bark but no bite to its owner.
(I'm pretty funny at times, Sil.)
(Leaving nowish...)
(My wall is like a white colour. It has a BMW poster, quite a few postcards, a picture of a wolf that changes depending what angle you look at it so it's technically four pictures of wolves, several video game posters (including Assassin's Creed), a WALL-E poster and seven Mass Effect posters (One of a Quarian, one of Shepard and some Reapers and Earth, one of the Citadel, two of the Normandy SR-2, one of the renegade logo and one of a Reaper destroying a shuttle).
I also have two more Mass Effect posters to put up.)
*Roland allowed himself to be pulled towards her as he gently wrapped his arms around her.*
Roland: To thank me? For what exactly?
*She grinned*
For saving me, my love.
*She reached up at kissed him softly, her arms wrapping around the back of his neck*
Roland: Well it would seem that you have saved me also.
*He kissed her back, his hands resting on the small of her back. He then smiled and laughed to himself.*
Roland: You do realise you left the extremely powerful baby with a recovering wolf cub.
I will not bite you.
(Oh... That's... Painful... *covers ears*
... It seems they've chavved up Spandau Ballet... Islands In The Stream was bad enough... But that... That was just a crime against humanity... *winces*)
(That was totally a good song and you RUINED it! *punches modern music*)
(RAWRRRR RAMPAGE *starts exploding modern music with gunpowder and tanks*)
(Being serious - what they did to that poor song was horrific. Disgraceful. It should be against the law. There needs to be a charity against this kind of thing.)
(Yey! Dads gonna murder my brother! Wooooo!)
The game I play, Azteca was so hard they had to lower it.-Zaf
PART ONE
Hello everyone,
Whilst comments are still relatively close to the top, and thus easily noticeable, I would like to say something.
I am never coming back to the blog.
As some of you may have noticed, I haven’t frequented the blog as of the last few months. I decided at the beginning of July to take some time away from it because it was becoming unhealthy and in doing so I sent an email to Luce. I think that email sums up everything pretty clearly, so here it is:
[Dated July 4th 2014]
“Hi
Sorry, I didn't mean to be so blunt when you texted me before. I just feel like I need to take some time away from the blog.
I know that previously I've depended on the place and it'll always be in my heart, and so will every person I've met along the way. But at times, I couldn't tell if the blog was doing more harm than good. Though, recently, I've realised that it is in fact detrimental.
I know this may seem sudden, but it's not really. I never liked voicing my problems on the blog because there are bigger problems out there that people really need help with. And who am I to add my little bit of headache to the pile? I needed to be cheery for the people who couldn't find it in themselves to be so. But it's gotten to the point where I can't do that anymore.
It's hard to explain my feelings clearly because they're a big jumbled mess and there are so many little parts, but one of the main things is what I mentioned before: my feeling unimportant.
I know that I'm always optimistic, or at least I try to be, on the blog. But, really, I'm more doing that for everyone else than just being myself. Sure, at times it perfectly reflects how I'm feeling. But majority of the time it's simply a facade; one which I'm pretty sure I carry around with me in real life too.
I have a crippling fear of not being remembered. All my life I've been bullied and pushed to the sidelines because people didn't think I was as important as them, and it resulted in me being scared of being forgotten or left out. In my last few years of secondary school I found an amazing group of friends, but we were broken when college arrived. I kept in touch with my closest friends but it wasn't the same. Things were okay - not amazing, but passable. But then my first year of university happened and everything fell apart completely. I don't want to get into the grim specifics, but it was a terrible time for me. However, during that year I found the blog and it always acted as a haven to me when things got rough. I do honest to God love the blog and everyone on it.
But, it's almost like things have flipped. I'm not saying that things in my real life are now perfect - far from it. I'm still forgotten, I'm still unimportant, I'm still unremarkable. But they're better. Which is more than I've had in a while. But, things on the blog are starting to get to me. People are always forgotten on the blog - I know that and that's not what I'm getting at. I know that sometimes your comments will go unnoticed, or people will forget to say hi or bye. That's fine. It's a busy community and things like that happen, so I don't mind at all.
It's more that I'm forgettable in a sense that I'm unremarkable. I'm unmemorable. Everyone on the blog has a great friend or group of friends, and although I like to think so it's not reciprocated in my case. I'm forgotten a lot because that's just the type of person I am: I'm average and insignificant. I think if I just suddenly left the blog without a word it would go unnoticed. And that's fine. I can't expect everyone to take notice of me because that's not fair on my part - people are allowed to live their lives as they see fit, with or without me.
..."
*She laughed too*
I realise... They'll take care of each other...
*She pulled his lips back to hers and kissed him again*
(Violence is never the answer. Unless modern music is involved and then it is a necessity.
Actually, I believe violence is an answer - it just depends on the question and the circumstances that it's asked in.)
PART TWO
“…
My unnoteworthy life on the blog meant that quite a lot of the time I was forgotten. And a lot of the time I would just laugh it off. But in doing so, I wouldn't be getting rid of the problem, but instead be burying it away, out of sight and seemingly out of mind. But it's just built up too much and I feel like I'm going to be crushed by it if I don't get out soon. I think yesterday was just the breaking point.
My forgetfulableness is partly, I think, because I don't like to share anything personal. And, because of this, I feel like people don't think I have any problems because I don't vocalise them, when that's the complete opposite of the truth. I have too many problems. So, feeling like it might be a good time to finally speak up, I admitted for once that things weren't altogether okay. It was fine at first because people just accepted me opening up to them. But then my problems got lost. One of the only times I decide to reach out to the group for help I get lost in a sea of people fawning over you. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you for what happened. It just hammered home how completely insignificant I really am, and brought back memories I'd rather forget. I’ll never be one of the memorable people in Blogland, and I’m okay with that. I’m just not sure I’m okay with being one of the forgotten ones.
And, it’s just like, sometimes I simply want to be recognised for being me and being good at just being me, whatever and whoever that is. I want to be able to talk about things that I'm passionate about without it changing and turning to focus on someone else because I'm not loud enough. I want to be able to put up pieces of my writing without panicking over judgement. I want to be recognised as someone that writes well. I want to be able to share my writing with other people. I want to be able to share my thoughts with people. I want to be able to tell people good things that have happened without feeling like I'm annoying anyone or being inconsiderate. I want to be able to feel at home on the blog again.
Unfortunately, our wants and desires rarely fall true. I guess, sometimes things aren't meant to be, eh?
Ugh, I feel like I'm getting all grandiloquent and I really don't mean to be (and yes, I know I'm being grandiloquent in using grandiloquent, it was just the only word that fit properly). Sorry.
I don't want to just be one of those people that complain about being forgotten because no one replies to my comments. That's not why I'm doing this. If I could I would just leave the blog without a word. I just thought you, of all people, deserved an explanation.
And I'm not getting at anyone on the blog with this email. I don't mean for it to come across that way. I mean, I've never spoken about this before so how could anyone know how I felt? And I don't mean to get at anyone that didn't forget me - they're awesome and I love them to bits. I just think it's best if I take a break.
This month it's Camp NaNoWriMo and I'm participating in it so I'm going to be pretty busy – especially because I'll also be sorting out my year abroad stuff alongside the writing. I might come back to the blog later in July. Or maybe August. Or maybe not at all. Who knows? That doesn't mean that I'm cutting ties with anyone. I'll still go on Facebook and Twitter, and I might message people to see how they're doing. I just think I need a break from the blog's atmosphere because it's starting to become poisonous.
Could you please let everyone know? Post it on the blog, or send an email - I don't really mind. I just don't want the people who didn't forget me to feel like I've forgotten them. I would do it myself but I don't want to go back on the blog and I don't think I have everyone's email. Sorry to ask so much of you.
Thanks for everything”
PART THREE
I didn’t want to post this now because it’s the day before publication day and everyone is excited for that. Plus, everything with Rose has been happening, and what’s going on with her is far more important than me.
But, my goodbye has been held off for too long. I’ve been wanting to post this for a few weeks, but something else always seems to be going on and it always feels like I’d be being inconsiderate if I chose that specific time.
However, for once, I’m just going to say what I want, when I want. I’m going to be selfish for once, because I don’t want to be holding on to this goodbye and these feelings any longer.
My time on the blog has come to an end because I don’t think anyone cares about me or what I do, and there is no point in holding on to something when, to other people, it doesn’t matter either way whether you stay or go. And I just don’t want to be part of that type of community.
And to anyone who read my comment on the first page, yes, I said that the community is caring, loving, and accepting, and I still think that: the blog IS caring, loving, accepting. I just don’t really see it pointed in my direction. People care about Adra, Sir, Luce, Rose, etc....and rightly so. They deserve it. But when I'm having a bad day, no one cares or even notices. However, to reiterate what I said in my email to Luce, that's fine - people can chose to care about me or not. It's unfair of me to suggest that I should be a part of someone’s life when they don't want me to be.
Since writing that email I have decided that everyone, not just Luce, deserved an explanation as to why I won’t be returning.
I wish I could stay but I just don’t see any point.
So, this is my goodbye.
If you want to message me at all or want to stay in contact, then by all means email me (flora.mae.high@gmail.com). But after I post this, I won’t stay on the blog. I’m going to close down the page one final time.
Thus, farewell my fellow minions. It’s most definitely been a rollercoaster ride with you and, in some ways, I think I’ll miss it.
But, the future is looking brighter.
Wish me luck.
[hugs Flora tightly]
Flora, I know that we aren't really friends, but, on behalf of all of Blogland, thank you for being here.
And I've got school now.
(Flora - you should not have to be any way for anyone. Just because there are problems some may consider bigger, doesn't mean that your problems are in any way less. You need the chance to voice your opinion, because keeping it in isn't healthy.
As for not being memorable - I disagree. I really disagree.
And if that is what you fear, being forgotten, I will tell you that... Well, put it this way... I have a pretty good memory. I still remember a single postcode from absolutely YEARS ago. So the risk of forgetting you is practically nil.)
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