Ha!
I cannot BELIEVE they've let me use that title!
Ladies and gentlemen, the collection I've been promising you, the book that scoops up all those little short stories and provides you with some brand new ones, has been unleashed. There won't be a Spoiler Zone post because it's not one of the "book" books, but even so, try to limit the amount you give away about the endings.
Of the new stories included, I'm finding it hard to pick a favourite. The Horror Writers' Halloween Ball is the most out-and-out comedy of the lot, but Across A Dark Plain is a WESTERN, for god's sake, and it was SO much fun changing my writing style slightly to convey that mood.
But I think Get Thee Behind Me, Bubba Moon is probably my favourite. Much like The End of the World (which is also collected here), it's told from the point of view of an outsider, in this case a middle-aged American man. I didn't mean it to be quite so long, but it grew from a short story to a novella before I knew what was happening. The tone of this one is different, too — until a certain pair of intrepid detectives wander in with their bickering and their jokes...
Anyway, I hope you like it. I hope you ALSO like the sample chapter from The Dying of the Light. It is VERY well written, if I do say so myself.
Oh, and speaking of TDOTL, tomorrow I shall be revealing an awesomely cool limited edition alternative cover.
And it ROCKS.
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4,344 comments:
1 – 200 of 4344 Newer› Newest»Sweet Malory, I'm first.
Yay.
Second :(
I'm very excited for that, Derek. *Nods* very excited...
Okay, that's all. *Leaves*
Oh!
And I should order that book soon...
Hm. Damn, I have so much homework I'll hardly have the time for it! But I'll make it, I guess...
Okay, now *Leaves for good*
Hello, Derek. I know not if you are still around, lurking in the dark.
Literally cannot wait to get AOH
WHY ISNT IN THE BOOKSHOP YET?!?!?!? D':
OoOoOoOoh, alternative cover.......
I cant deal with waiting another dayD: ill have to make my dad drive me to easons:( ooh 7th comment not bad:D
Also, TDOTL CHAPTER omg
I find it funny to listen to your mad fangirling. I knownot why you fangirl, Midgardians.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dad wont drive me:'( are you aloud to cycle on the motorway?... A 15 min drive wouldn't take that long on a bike i suppose
I know not, I do not live in the UK. In America, you could. In Asgard I'd take a horse, but apparently in Midgard that's out of style.
Nope apparently that's "dangerous" DOENST MY DAD UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS?!?!?!?! TDOTL CHAPTER!!!
Im in Ireland but apparently not i don't see the big deal dad pushed a trolley back to our apartment on the motorway in Spain on year wasn't "dangerous" then
Do you not have a bus? Take a bus.
I'm with ya
I would rather not know, Rose.
We're in midlle of nowhere no buses and my brother just took the money i owed him off me so im poor now
I bet there's ninjas in his mind eating skittles
ARGH! Derek I want to kiss you right now....ummm....aqward. Nevermind just get that book out faster. Oh and can you keep writing series like Skulduggery pleasant? Please? Love ya
Skulduggery movie!!!!!
eeeeeeeeep
Why would you think any of that mattered to me, Rose? You will only suffer with the knowledge I have, and perhaps I'll spare your life long enough to see Aretha die by your hand.
Damn right there should be
MARAAAAA!!! *Cuddles*
Ok, Loki, please your comments are really really really really really really ect... Boring, so please stop being mean
Plus your not a god your just a fan
Niccolò is gone, and I am smart enough to have you kill your bestfriend. I have not even seen Niccolò, and I can et Alastair will simply watch as she dies. You have nothing to use against me.
((Amelia, we're roleplaying. I don't know if you've been reading comments but everyone knows its not the actual Loki, but we're roleplaying. -Zafira))
What does that even mean? Wait... Nevermind
I know I'm not an idiot. Hold on yep I am
Silverrose, kill Aretha Tesla. You will not allow her to kill you, you will fight.
Can I act too?
Yay!
*stands in fight position next to rose*
You will not kill yourself, Silverrose.
She won't be killing anyone!
*turns head to rose* don't do it
You could try to hurt me, Amelia. It will not end well.
Zanida: *stands beside Loki, still in a lot of pain from Trip's fun with energy*
You will not hide, run, or avoid completeing the task of killing Aretha, Silverrose.
*face glooms*
Not you
Zanida: I wonder if we Asgardians have a true name.
We're gods, Zanida. I believe we do not.
No! Don't do it!
Loki, stop it! Stop controlling her!
Why...? Why does she have to die...?
*completely ignores Rose and walks away*
Zanida: *goes to Rose and kneels beside* I fought him over that order, I told him not to. He's pissed because Elleni freed Zafira.
*She stares at Amelia with dead eyes* It's Loki. He'll never even consider the concept of mercy.
She doesn't rose, you don't have to do this
*She hugs Zanida tightly* Kill me.
Yes, I do, Amelia. I have to. He used my True Name. It is an order.
No!
*grabs sword and runs after Loki*
Zanida: I can't. He'll kill me too, Rose. I can't kill you, but I can warn Aretha. I'm a bit useless as Trip tore through my arms yesterday. I can't use them.
*swings sword at lokis head*
*turns to see Amelia run at me, and suddenly there are many of me, the real me hidden*
Argh! I hate that guy
*She rests a hand on Zanida's arm and taps something on the underside of her wrist. Blue light travels from her arm to Zanida's and back. She does it for the other arm as well.
Zanida's arms are now healed*
Th-thank you.
Zanida: Thank you! I will warn Aretha, I promise.
*appears behind Amelia and sends a dagger at her neck*
*spots real Loki. Slides under fakes and runs*
*screams as dagger hits side of beck*
Thank you so much, Zanida. Tell her that I'm sorry... I didn't mean for this to happen... *She hands a small, purple dagger to Zanida and smiles softy* Here. It's special. Different abilities for different people. It granted me better agility in fights. Test it out and see what it does for you.
*lets her run, not bothering to chase her*
*neck*
Zanida: *holds it* I'll see what it does. I'm not sure if it'll work for an Asgardian.
*sends another one at her throat*
*She shrugged and frowned* I just don't want to have it when I have to face Aretha... Coz that would suck.
Zanida: I understand. I wish I knew where Aretha was. I also wish- Rose! You want Niccolò back, correct? I know how! I can take Loki's sceptre, if I can mind control Alastair long enough, Alastair will be forced to release Niccolò!
*grunts as dagger hits leg*
*She jumps to her feet, her grin wide* Oh... Do I have the idea or what. *She walks into the forest. She finds her base* So. If I have the intention of just opening the door, will this work? *She thinks of the yellow liquid light, the one that killed the man with silver hair. The one that instantly melts anything it comes in contact with, except her base.
She grins wider*
(My brother is snoring. It sounds like a walrus.))
Give up, Midgardian?
Zanida: *goes after Rose* I have an even better idea. Silverrose, ignore Loki's command to kill Aretha.
Never
(Ignore that if you choose.))
Zanida. Yes. Oh my God! Yes! *She hugs her tightly* If you use my true name... Tell me to get the sceptre... There won't be a way I can't!
*She hugs Zanida tighter* If he finds out you said that, he'll kill you. I'll do my best to protect you, though. Thank you so much!
Zanida: *smiles* You want Loki's sceptre? I can easily get that, I live with him. He's let me use it before, I had to mind control him once, so it works for me.
*vanishes*
*uses wall to help get up while holding leg*
*Se lets out a short laugh* You. You are amazing.
*falls*
Damn that good looking god!
(I'm probably going to have to go to sleep now... So... Tired...))
Zanida: *laughs* Thor says that all the time. Wait here. *runs off into the woods* Loki!
What, sister?
Zanida: Can I have your sceptre? I want to beat Death Rose with it.
Give it back by sunset. Or I kill you.
Zanida: Understood. *takes it and runs back to Rose* Hi!
I can't wait for the new book! It's on it's way here . . . I can't wait!
(You can't feel tired where I am its 12:49pm))
(Sorry i mean 12:50am))
((Good night then Rose! We can continue when you're awake later tonight, well for me.- Zanida))
((It's 10:50am by me, July 3rd.))
(Pfft!! Screw sleeping!!))
*She raises and eyebrow at her* I'm sorry, but I heard that. No one is beating me with nothing. And wow. First off, Thor? God. Thor. The Thor? Wow. He's like... Woah... Thor... *She shakes her head quickly* Secondly, woah, you actually got it.
(It's 12:51am here. My eyes feel weird...))
(Actually, no, I'm sleeping.
Morning!!))
(Well where do you live rose? We are in the same time zone))
((Haha! I am an American on! Amelia, by the way you've now talked to Zafira Kerias-Zafira))
*sees Loki without sceptor, jumps and crashes into Loki nocking him to the ground*
Really? *stabs in the eye with a dagger*
(Who's that?))
*does a high pitched scream*
*backs up agains tree*
Agh!
((Grand Mage of America, was in LSODM chapter 22-Zafira))
Oh yeah now I remember
*follows her and grabs her by the neck* Try it again, Midgardian. Try it.
Can't wait to see that new cover!
*heart beats fast*
*throws against another tree* Stay away, you mewling quim.
*thinks to self: it won't work would it. Ok too much pain do it!*
*clicks fingers and throws fire at head*
I am not a mewling quim bastard!
*runs in and tackles Loki to the ground as a barely perceivable blur*
*punches him in the face with the force of an express train at full speed*
*ducks and vanishes, takes sceptre from Zanida, and comes back and whacks her across the head*
*watches james in amazment*
*screams as a dark masked man stabs back from behind*
*everything goes black and cold*
Does anything productive or useful come of this infernal comments section?
Help *weak voice*
Did you really try? Really? *punches Silente*
*reaches hand out to Loki* I'm..I'm sorry
No then.
I'm not trusting you.
((OMG DEREK HAS BEEN READING THE COMMENTS WITH LOKI ON!!!! *dies, comes back, and dies again* -Zaffy))
Please I'm sorry
(WHAT HE HAS?! OMG OMG AWESOME!))
((DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?! I ASKED HIM TO POSSIBLY COMMENT WHEN I'M ON AS LOKI BECAUSE OMG I NEED TO GO TACKLEHUG A GERBIL OH MY GOD HE ACTUALLY HAS BEEN READING OMG OMG OMG THIS IS EPIC!!!!!-Zaffy))
He said they were "interesting..."
(Hey Derek if you are reading this can you please please please put me in a book as a main character?))
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*SCREAMS*
NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! D:
um
I mean
I mean
I mean
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN
*dies*
THIS AS BAD AS ALADRA BUT TADRA HELP D:
YOU CAN'T GET ALASTAIR TO RELEASE NICCOLO BECAUSE ALASTAIR
but
YOU HAVE TO BECAUSE NICCOLO
but
but
but
CAN'T YOU FIND A WAY FOR THEM TO COEXIST? D:
And, for the record - Niccolò's very weak. If you take Alastair out of the picture, another name other than Niccolò will take over. Probably War.
You'd favour War over Alastair?
Why would I care? I want to see you all suffer, but perhaps I'll keep Niccolò under my control.
Omg omg I can't belive Derek Landy is actually reading my comments. Wait, wait, wait! Derek I have a blog and I write books-sort of- but if you go on my blog you can have my book dark angels and improvise and sell it as your own i swear I will not be mad. And it is not copy write promis. Hold on I'm going to update it now
((He isn't now, he's on Twitter. -Zafira))
Derek doesn't read other people's blogs - he specified that ages ago. He might have changed his mind, but still - that's what he says. :)
(Sorry, food occurred.)
*keeps moving as fast as she can, not wanting her general appearance to be seen*
*especially the fresh, already speckled with red, bandages around her wrists. Or the one over her throat, almost completely red with now dried up blood*
*punches Loki again and again*
*sighs and vanishes*
(*crys* :'( WHY?! JUST TAKE THE NAME AND THE CHARACTORS! Derek can we Skype and talk about my book? So you can have it. My dream is to become a author and I'll never get there because you will never talk to me. I am highly diagnosed with ADHD and I'm not very good at bein incontroll so I would really love just to meet you please respond
HEY DEREK HOW YA DOIN'
if you're reading the comments
*glares at where he vanished from*
*stands and rightens the hood on the jumper she's wearing, for concealment mainly*
*she doesn't like hoodies*
*looks around for that other girl person, tugging the sleeves over the red speckled bandages*
Hey, hold on Loki im going to talk to you now
Zanida: *is quietly watching, shaken*
Damn I'm tired I'm going to sleep. It's 1:35am so goodnight
See ya Loki teeheehee
@Amelia: Yes, but Derek have tons and tons of minions, which is why he doesn't Skype anymore - it wouldn't be very fair . . .
Eh.
Night Am...
*sighs and walks off again*
*another load of nothing achieved*
*is already tugging at one of her bandaged wrists*
Got up to tweet Derek too, huh? I'm so tired...
:) night guys
Hello...?
*comes back tugging down the sleeves of her hoodie to cover her wrists and pulling the neck of the hood forwards to hide her neck*
Hey Elleni..
@Elleni: Twitter.
I don't have Twitter, but meh.
Zanida: I want to find Niccolò...
I'd tell you what's going on on Twitter, but I'm on hiatus because of spoilers. AOH spoilers are everywhere. It's so annoying.
I'm over halfway through editing Imperfect, I'm so proud... :3
Yey Lucifer! Hope your editing is going well!
*sticks her hands in the goodies pockets*
*her eyes are barely visable under the hood*
How are you Elleni?
It's going okay, I think, Silente...
How are you?
Good!
*smiles*
I'm...pretty good. For once I have BOOKS to read!
*sighs* Perhaps, I ought to ask Aretha...
Edinburgh? Why...
Would you please stop murdering me? D:
I really don't want you to bring Niccolò out except I don't NOT want you to bring Niccolò out and it's TORTURE. :/ :/ :/
Zanida and I constructed and sent an email to Aretha. I personally hope I can bring Niccolò out, and watch you all suffer.
How great was that Twitter interview, anyone else go over and ask any questions?
@Elleni: Yeah. -_- I wish he could . . . D:
That's awesome, Silente. :)
I really want to go to Edinburgh, but I'm already fighting for London and Dublin... Adding another city to my list would not be wise...
I'm avoiding Twitter and Tumblr because of AOH spoilers.
I'M GOING TO THE CORK SIGNING ON SUNDAY WOOOOOOOO IS ANYONE ELSE?
oh apparently i could be going to the dundrum one as well bc munster finals on sunday
I don't think NJ is going to any...:/ -Zaffy
Ohh then you wouldn't have heard the news about the movie.
I get all of Derek's tweets sent to my phone, however. Mobile notifications on for Derek's tweets, VA and one of my friends. ^-^
YAY MARA
HAVE FUN! :D
@Charlie SPILL!
He tweeted that an annoucement to do with a Skulduggery Pleasant movie was weeks away. Which heavily implies that, ooh breathe, a movie is on it's way.
He said "Movie news SOON...!" as usual, but there's another which read "We are closing in on a deal as we speak... we're weeks away from announcing. Hopefully."
aw man :((
***instead not as well
if it was as well i think i'd cry
MAM'S HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS THOUGH D:
if she doesn't let me go i s2g
*hugs everyone*
((I love when a certain person gives me nasty tweets. So sorry if I was curious if I was in TDOTL, you know I live in America and wait longer to find out crap. -Zaffy))
Hey Mara. Long time no speak. You okay? *hugs*
Hey *hugs Luci* It's been ages. I'm good, thanks. You?
I wonder what a movie would be like, how exactly do you cast for an Irish skeleton detective.
It has... Far too long for my liking. I'm glad you're good and I hope that you do get to go to one of those signings, or, perhaps, both.
I'm... surviving. Thank you for asking.
Charlie - Would it not depend upon whether it was live-action or not...? And if it was, there is such a thing as CGI...!
Sorry, distant . . . D:
@Luciana - Gotta nail the voice.
@Elleni - Cumberbatch has got the attitude nailed haha
Obviously, but my point is if it's not live action the voice would be far higher in the specifications for an actor to play Skulduggery, especially if the series was made up until he gets his facade.
There are too many variables, currently, for us to decide on who would be the perfect Skulduggery. Not to mention the fact that we would have no say in it, even if there was to be a film.
Nothing, currently, is definite. I see no point in worrying over something out of our control.
Great point actually, need to switch back to the books for now. Gotta focus on praying on my boy Billy Ray surviving the end of the series.
And Armageddon will be in my hands one sleep from now, god I hope Larrikan and Hopeless make an appearance.
Sanguine is rather wonderful, though I much prefer Darquesse. I honestly hope Darquesse will either end on top, or Valkyrie will commit suicide... I don't want Darquesse to be brought down by anyone but Valkyrie, if she is to be brought down at all.
Where have you read up to Elleni?
I HATE STEPHANIE WITH A BURNING PASSION.
YES
NO SPOILERS PLEASE
Me with my ability to ignore, I probably won't end up getting the book for ages because I'm not emotionally bothered by not having it . . .
UNLESS PEOPLE SPOIL THEN I AM BOTHERED YES. -_-
I just want Stephanie to live because I love her she's like the nicest character in the whole series I just want Valkyrie and Darquesse to go die and let her have a life. :P
Yeah exactly the same Elleni, book 8.
I'm withholding judgement on Stephanie going into the last one, but she just seems so creepy.
@Elleni: THANK YOU SOMEONE AGREES. :) :) :)
I've not got AOH either. I can't read it due to my lacking of both money and time.
Stephanie irks me... Philosophically speaking, she is not the same person as Stephanie no matter how much she wishes to be. And neither is she a person, not in my philosophical view. She is a being, but not a person. Sentient, but not a person in her own right in the way that Valkyrie or Darquesse would be. Perhaps my view of Stephanie is driven by my philosophical views of personhood and adoration for Darquesse... I'm uncertain. Apologies.
I mean, Valkyrie is a bitch and Darquesse is just a psychopath and Stephanie is just so nice. -_-
I don't know how it will work, with Stephanie unable to do magic.
Yeah Luciana exactly right, Valkyrie made mistakes but she was one of a kind.
@Mushroom: OH MY GOSH STOP JUST THERE OH MY GOSH
OH MY /GOSH/
I pretty much class 'person' as 'conscious being'. She is a being that is conscious. She's a person. -_-
Me having characters that aren't human, they get kind of annoyed when people think that they aren't people simply because they aren't human, and they're just like "We're conscious beings. We're people. Fuck off."
What makes her NOT a person?
She is a person. She's even human. Just because she wasn't created by conventional means . . .
That's like saying a test tube baby isn't a person. -_-
"She is not the same person as Stephanie."
Who is Stephanie?
Stephanie isn't the same person that Valkyrie was when she was twelve, but neither is Valkyrie, and Stephanie is closer to that than Valkyrie was, and to be honest -
Stephanie is correct. She has more of a right to Valkyrie's home life than Valkyrie does.
*Valkyrie is
Star, being a bitch is not necessarily a vice. In myself I see it as a virtue. I see it in Valkyrie as a virtue, also. She stands up for what she believes in, who she loves and she will fight for what she believes is right. Perhaps she has made the odd error, such as Death Bringer's fiasco with Fletcher and Caelan. But that does not mean we should hate her completely; everyone makes mistakes.
And Darquesse is... Curious. People fear her only because of the possibility of her being the person to destroy the world. But their fear could be the trigger for what allows her to go so far as to destroy so much. She's curious about her powers and she wants to save herself. She is never completely unprovoked in this series when she has attacked.
Perhaps she is evil, but that does not mean she is "just a psychopath".
And... are you forgetting that Stephanie is also a psychopathic murderer? Have you considered that she has her own agenda? She slept with Valkyrie's ex-boyfriend in the middle of a dire situation. Does that not strike you as odd? She clearly has her own agenda and to do such a thing is verging on manipulation. I don't believe Stephanie to be good, not for a single moment. But she is certainly not on the same level of Darquesse, I will allow you that much.
The best way to look at it, you're saying, is as Valkyrie being the Stephanie who grew up in the world of magic, and the current Stephanie as the one who grew up, literally with her family all these years.
That's really interesting to consider.
Oh, Star, philosophically speaking, if that were true, all animals would be person. Yet, there are too many variables to allow such things to be persons. If they were persons, they would be completely equal to us and would therefore mean we wouldn't be allowed pets.
It's not that she was born from unconventional means, it's that she is, essentially, a clone. Perhaps you could argue that she is a person, but she cannot be the person she is attempting to be; you can never have two people who are numerically identical.
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