I should have announced this yesterday, to be honest, but I was in Swindon, in England, doing writerly things like chatting to 600 people, signing all their books, and then travelling on to the WH Smith head office and signing 500 copies of LSODM, so you'll forgive me if I was a tad... distracted.
But, without further ado, to those who have not yet heard, the title of the short story collection out next summer is...
Armageddon-Outta-Here.
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
I swear to god, I never thought Harper Collins would agree to this. My first instinct was to call it Tales of the Dead Men, but that wouldn't have been accurate because there'd probably only be one or two stories featuring the Dead Men — not enough to warrant a title.
Harper came back with The World of Skulduggery Pleasant, which is, let's face it, a title far too boring to exist.
I suggested Armageddon-Outta-Here as a joke, expecting everyone to dismiss it. But the more I thought about it, the more I said it in my head, the more I loved it. And suddenly I became determined to be the writer who has a book with THAT title.
Amusingly, Harper Collins agreed. And I couldn't be happier.
And if that wasn't awesome enough, we should actually have a cover reveal early next month for you to gawp at. Could I BE any nicer to you?
No. The answer is no.
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If you both could cease such loud exclamations...?
HEY! *pounds on the wall*
Well that was uncalled for!
NERFHERDER! *tackles the Doctor again, throwing her against the tree*
Gah!
*wrestles with Adra*
Let go of me!
DO NOT CALL ME A BARBARIAN TO BEGIN WITH
*blue lightning crackling in her eyes*
*Adra pinning her to the tree*
Let
me
GO!
*FLASHBACK*
"Oh, stop crying, it's not that bad. It's not like you're the only person in the world who's ever been nailed to a wall. Awwwwww, do your legs hurt? Oh, that's cute. Don't worry. You won't need to be using them for a while."
*FLASHBACK ENDS*
LET ME GO!
*Can hear muffled fighting from behind the wall*
YOU GUYS BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELVES!
*pulls her away, swinging her around until she has momentum, and let's her fall*
*hits the ground hard*
*nose starts bleeding worse than ever*
*looks coldly at Adra*
*and starts wiping off her face*
*again*
*straightens her coat, noticing the blood that fell onto the collar*
*straightens herself out* *clears her throat* *draws a symbol on her hand*
*pushes herself to her feet*
*pulling out a fresh towelette and cleaning the last of the blood off her face*
*she's uncertain how to actually stop the bleeding, though*
*touches her nose and the symbol lights up blue and it wrenches itself back into place*
*she touches a tree and the light travels to the Doctor, hitting her form with enough force to rock her back, but not injure*
*she might find her nose fixed now*
*strolls to go sit on a rock and calm*
So dramatic... Honestly.
*sullenly watches Adra go*
*sits on a swing*
*and plays with a stream of blue energy in her hands*
*glares sharply at Sir*
Do you want me to eat your fin?
Oh, you could, if you wanted to. It would most likely just grow back, in any case.
I'm here!
*walks into Blogland* Hello guys
Hi
....
*huffs, turning away from him* *murmurs* Mean little tuna..
*allows a coil of energy to leap into the sky*
*and burst into a little firework*
*before tumbling back into her hand and coiling like a little snake*
*slithering up her arm*
*and fading away*
*like it never existed*
Greetings, Ms. Kerias.
Ms. Dark, I heard that. Please, I dearly wish that you would quit sulking.
*takes a hard rock and it is like dough in her hand, and she begins to mould it into a shape*
*glares forward* Sir, I swear to gods I will feed you to a Maine fish market
Maine fish markets deal much more primarily with crustaceans, but I understand the sentiment, Ms. Dark.
But I certainly do not appreciate it.
*lets energy hop from fingertip to fingertip*
*then burst into a blue flame that writhes around her hands*
*sending up blue sparks*
*watches it curl into a bird-like shape and float away*
*dissipating*
*and she laughs*
*slow claps for him* Good job, Sir. Astute observation
...
*opens his mouth*
...
*shuts it*
*buries head against Ravel*
*nods* Precisely. *jumps from her rock* *quietly* I never let someone off the hook for mocking me. Remember that, Sir. *walks a ways away before she says anything more she regrets*
...
Well, blast. I suppose I'll never truly understand humans...
*stands up*
*raises a hand to the sky*
*smiles excitedly*
I wonder . . . I wonder if I've still got the skills . . .
*the sky begins to whiten*
*and dirty gray clouds come slowly seeping in*
*alive with blue energy*
*and crackling with blue lightning*
*angrily sips her tea*
Ah... My good Doctor?
I certainly hope you realize that we are near a METAL playground, albeit a rusted one...
*walks into Blogland completely unsure of what has happened* How did I get here may I ask? I last remember being dead. And seeing Lucy....*trails off*
*she hears a soft whinny*
*drops her cup and screams bloody murder*
Standing near her is her horse, who is bruises and cut and battered, his hair ripped out in patches, one eye missing- but some jelly still in the socket, and his tail tangled like a nest*
*he stumbles and falls into the snow, and she screams, running for him*
*claps a hand to her mouth*
It works!
I've still got it!
*laughs in delight as the clouds grow thicker*
Oh, I forgot how mud FUN that is!
*blue lightning thunders down and crashes into her*
*without affecting her in the slightest*
Ohhh, isn't magic a wonderful-
*stops*
*eyes wide*
*shocked at what she nearly said*
*raises hands to the heavens*
*and the clouds shrink away*
*leaving a milky-white sky*
*and a tiny blue ribbon of energy coiling around Precocious's fingertips*
*much
*Looks between Mr. Hyde, Ms. Dark, and the good Doctor*
...
Well, BLAST.
*Goes over to where Adrasdos is* ((If I may if not I shall wait))
((It's okay, Zaf))
*realises why he looked so lopsided*
*is at a loss, and gently prods at the area where his hind leg was, where it is now ripped to shreds* *the horse begins to whinny, screaming- astounding strangled* *she's horrified and carefully pulls her gun from her bag*
I'm so sorry, baby. I can't... I don't know how to make it stop
*the whinnying increases as it is in pain*
((I MSD though- a bit tired))
o.O i think i've missed something... *tries to read back* *gets impatient* ASDFGHJKL!!
oh, and IM BACK
Welcome back, Ms. Stormberg.
*clicks her fingers*
*and the blue energy dissipates*
*sighs*
*goes and climbs on the monkey bars*
*awkwardly*
. . . This isn't helping.
*slides on the slide*
*falls off because there is only half a slide*
*sits on the swing*
*and kicks off*
*and decides to find out how high she can swing*
SIR! HI!! YOU HAVE A NEW MUSTACHE!! OKAY!!
(Yes, I MIGHT have to go soon as well.)
Adrasdos, may I try with the horse? It may have hope. ((Understandable, Miss Kerias does not have school tomorrow))
There isn't anything you can do... He has... Thirty seconds at most, and a lost leg- various cuts...
I'm sorry, Henry... But he's in so much pain... i*carefully touches the Horse's side, entertaining his energy with hers**gasps* I would if I could* *closes her eyes, pulling the trigger twice*
*hums, in a tree*
*winces at the sound of the gunshot*
*and leaps off the swing*
*sailing through the air*
*and landing neatly on her feet*
*sighs, in what almost sounds like satisfaction*
*winces at the shots* At least you ended the agony. It was for the best. I hate to end the life of any living thing, human or animal.
*sighs wistfully at Jekyll's words*
I miss living like that.
..*falls against the still form of her horse as it gurgles for a moment, then is silent* *sobs into his side*
Annika, what do you mean?
...
*silently surveys the scene*
*sighs and looks at Adraddos unsure* My dear, you did the horse a favour. I know it is hard.
(Precocious, please.)
*starts*
*did not realize she was heard*
Well . . . I am a monster hunter by profession.
Killing things is my bread and butter.
Or...
Tea and cheese-its, as I have seen.
*laughs*
Yes, Sir, that too. That too.
*frowns*
I never understood that.
*wipes her face, intending to wipe her tears, but leaves a smear of blood* *she looks at her hands*
*turns, backing away in terror, step by step* *her lip wobbles and she runs*
Ah. I did not take a liking to killing, whereas Hyde...well he did. I think that would not even start to cover exactly what Hyde did when he was in control. For example, I do not know how I came back to life, though I hear someone you know here has done the same. I may ask the person when I ever meet him. Anyhow, how are you, Precocious?
*is in a tree, doing tree things*
Hello Miss Snow. I believe we have met before, yes?
Ms. Dark? Ms. Dark, please!
*Frowns once more*
As well as I ever am, which is to say, rather unwell.
And what have you never understood, Sir? My love of tea? It is the finest of all the Things.
Or my love of Cheese-Its?
They are cheesy and delicious.
*calls down from tree* YEP!
*disappears*
No, my good Doctor. That odd... Spasm, that one sees occasionally.
What exactly are you doing, Miss Snow?
*laughs*
What do you mean?
. . .
. . . Oh.
*stops laughing*
. . . You're not missing much, I suppose.
It doesn't happen to me often.
*she dashes to her lab, slamming the door open with a twist of her foot, pushing it shut, leaving a red hand- stain on either side of the door, blood being pulled from her hands*
*she falls on the floor in labored sobs*
I wish it did.
But it doesn't.
((Bye Snowy! *hugs*))
*glances in the direction of Adra's lab*
. . . poor girl.
...
Well, if you insist, my good Doctor.
In any case, I suppose I should go and check on Ms. Dark.
*begins walking after her*
Goodbye Miss Snow *glances at Doctor* May I dare ask...I do not.
*grabs for something to wipe her hands off with- *ends up grabbing a curtain that covers a windowless wall and ripping it away, getting as much blood off as she can*
Ask anything you like.
Though I should warn you that I've got a bit of a . . . faulty . . . memory.
*reappears* *calls down to Henry* I AM DOING TREE THINGS!! IN A TREE!!
*approaches Ms. Dark's lab*
*awkwardly taps on the door, avoiding the bloodstains*
*looks anxiously at the lab*
I hope she's alright.
Even if she DID break my nose.
*opens the door for a brief second*
*hisses* Leave me alone or I will toss you into a pit with lions* *goes to slam the door in his face*
*attempts to put his foot in the door frame*
*and hears a crunch*
...
*dangles from the lowest branch and jumps down, smiling wildly*
*stops, looking at his foot* *covers her mouth* Oh gods, Sir- I'm so sorry-
((Snow))
(I am watching Vlogbrothers videos right now. Long live Nerdfighteria!)
((Handkerchief and the Johnable. They are Green goblins))
(( i know, i have a plan, relax! ))
*hears a crunch near the lab, very faint*
*stops smiling and runs over*
(French the Llama, I love those two.)
(Now then, I am sorry, but I must depart. I have a final tomorrow, and I must be well-rested.)
((Man though))
((Good luck darling *cuddles*))
*awkwardly shakes the foot back and forth*
*not talking, because currently he is biting as hard as he possibly can, down upon his tongue*
(( see ya anni))
*appears around the corner* hello! i heard a... well, a noise... and i thought i could help.
*looks at his foot* *gently helps him to a chair on the porch, propping his foot up* *dashes back in to get her supplies*
Hey Snow.
Oh god, Sir! A-are you OK?
*frowns* that was a stupid question... of COURSE you aren't...!
...
*considers opening a gateway under himself, just leaving, but decides that would be terribly rude*
*He thinks similarly about screaming in pain*
*sits in front of Sir, studying his foot*
*looks like she's thinking*
*pokes it* can you feel that and does it hurt?
I know not what to do
*considers ripping Ms. Stormberg's head off*
*considers against it*
*settles for looking at her sullenly*
*tuns back out with her bag, glaring sharply at Snow* Don't poke it.
*pulls put a small jar and begins to mix things into a glass* *Stirs it*
Drink up, Sir-
Don't worry, I've added herbs so it won't hurt when your foot realigns
*sulks* fine.
*gets up and walks away, standing near jubi*
*flicks Snow*
*looks at the glass*
*and up at Ms. Dark*
...
Drink it, Sir
*scowls* oi.
*watches adra*
...
*picks it up, and examines it closely*
*grins innocently at Snow*
Don't make me force feed you it, Sir
*smiles wildly and gets jubi in a headlock* haha
*lets out a short puff, and quickly downs it*
*his face twists, slightly*
*looks anxious*
*brings into existence a few card-sized gateways, and begins shuffling them distractedly*
Ravel: Zaf may I care to...
Yes we can go together.
Ravel: excellent!
...right... Um... Yeah... *remembers why he came here* *shakes her head, going to put her stuff back inside*
GAH! NO! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?! *tries to break out of the headlock*
*looks at Ms. Dark*
*lets out another brief sigh*
((Hmm I may depart because I am exhausted))
Tosses her things next to a table and grabs a blanket. Then, as an afterthought, a glass of water*
*dashes outside and offers the two to Sir*
((Alright Zaf))
*lets jubi go and walks up to sir* would you like a hand to move? you want to talk to adra, yes?
*shakes his head, first at Ms. Dark, then at Ms. Stormberg*
(( oh, jubi - what do ya think of my pic?))
Ah.. Freedom! *rubs neck*
...why aren't you talking, Sir?
okay... is there anything you want? i'm a teleporter, so if you want something from, say, france, just ask and you shall receive.
((ITS FABULOUS :D how bout mine? ;) ))
(( SUPERB!! can't wait till sunday. THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR IS NYE!!))
Did he bite his tongue too hard...? O.o
*half-opens his mouth, showing his tongue being quite firmly stabbed by his teeth*
*closes it, shrugging*
((I KNOOWWWS!!! *starts jumping up and down flailing hands around* I. CAN'T. WAAIIITTTT.))
...did you poke a hole in your tongue?!?!
*eyes widen* Oh..
Jesus...
*suddenly blinks, looking at Ms. Stormberg in an appraising manner*
*very quickly shakes his head at Ms. Dark*
Sir!!
*pulls a small vial out of her pocket* *looks between it and Sir, then holds it out* I've been told it tastes like honey... It will re-grow your muscle cells.
*very violently shakes his head at Ms. Dark*
*pulls out a pad of paper* *shoves it at him* Write please you answer to/ why the hell not?
anything sir?
(( *JUMPS UP AND DOWN HYER*))
*Glances at Ms. Stormberg, and to the pad*
*begins writing*
"Ms. Dark, I assure you that the care you have already administered shall be more than enough."
((*Screams*
*fangirls*
*Dies*))
(( ROOOOOSSEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! )
(( *dies with jubi*))
((What the hell, Snow?))
*glares at Sir* It's my job. Please, Sir. it's my fault you got hurt. I insist
((What just happened))
(( *fangirl death* DOCTORWHOOOOOOO))
((G2Gm BE BACK SOOONN))
((*Grabs Adra by the shoulders* YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PAAAIIINNNNNNN
unless you do...
if you do, then ignore what I just said))
*writes again*
"Ms. Dark, I insist as well. Believe me, I KNOW that you have done more than enough."
((Oh wait- MEVERMIND))
((BYE SNOW SNNOWWW!))
Sir! I can't let you walk around with a skewered tongue!
((Bye Snow!!))
Good bye, Ms. Stormberg.
*writes*
"It is not skewered, I am merely applying pressure as so that I do not explode into rather un-gentlemanly phrases."
You said you poked a hole in your tongue, Sir. It could easily get infected.
*checks her watch* Your bones should align any moment now..
Oh... Blast and confound it all! Very well, I dedicate to the frontier, wherever it may be...
Though I admit, I preferred it when it was in Western North America.
((*raises glass* I prefer the final one *points to the sky*))
...
*starts, and quickly begins writing down, in a much ornate-looking handwriting*
"Well, my apologies, but I would rather you not be there for that, then. It could get quite loud. Again, there is no hole in my tongue, but I appreciate your concern."
*nods good-bye to her, and opens a gateway beneath him*
*falls through*
...*stares at the space, then quietly retreats back into her lab, washing her hands of the rest of the blood* *she lays down across the couch, waiting for sleep*
*Sleep never comes*
((I'll take that as my leave... Goodnight, Sir! Sleep well! *hugs*))
*as he floats in blackness, he realizes something horrifying*
*he took the pen*
And on that note, I must leave you. Good bye.
((OMG))
NIGHT SIR! *Supermegagoodnighttacklehugsofdoom*
And Adra if that was a goodbye..
*supermegagoodbyetacklehugsofdoom*
Hello...?
#ChaseForBook9
SNOW IS HERE AN SHE IS FANGIRLING!!!
Hiiii SNOW!
#ChaseForBook9
HIIIII FABIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Hi Snow! :-)
I OFFICIALLY HATE AIDAN (as in my main antagonist in a writing project, not Aiden from Blogland. Just clarifying)
HE'S SO TWISTED... I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THAT THAT PLAN CAME FROM MY OWN HEAD.
#ChaseForBook9
o.O
I'M DONE.
JUST...DONE.
[Puts away laptop with Word doc and shuffles off to other projects]
Ooh, I should probably finish the dimension guidelines for TSE...!
#ChaseForBook9
WHOOOO
*huggles fab*
Hello all
fine then, not hello
Im going to have dinner
hey cali. cant talk. fangirling.
[hugs Snow]
Hi/See you Cali!
#ChaseForBook9
Voila.
#ChaseForBook9
*hums*
Posted again on TSE. Okay, what should I work on now?
Dream-world, where it looks like Judith just murdered Sandra
Sanctuary med-bay with Sandra and Janis and the attackers
Box with Liz
Underground hospital with Ioux
#ChaseForBook9
hmmm... box. it reminds me of the pandorica.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6imeNyR06E
if you can, watch this
Okay. :-)
I guess it does in a way...
#ChaseForBook9
Can't. :-/
#ChaseForBook9
okay... *shrugs*
hi
HELLOOOO
STORM IF YOU CAN WATCH THE YOUTUBE VID I JUST POSTED A LINK TO
whats it called
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6imeNyR06E
hi fabi
Hey.
SPARRKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
HII
Sup.
FANGIRLING
... Why?
Liz wasn't that much of an idiot.
Actually, she was.
She'd fallen asleep.
Fallen asleep
Ioux was gone, and so was Liz's teleportation amulet. Which meant he was probably near the box. Not the box Liz was in, of course, the one that actually counted.
Something had stopped her before. Using the amulet was the first thing she'd tried.
If it worked now, maybe something else would, too.
Liz rifled through her pockets, looking at her assortment of magical items, and then her cell phone. Duh.
She dialed a number. "Hello, Spectrum? Yes, I know I already owe you. I have it all planned, though. I'll get you that file. No, I actually have a plan for that. If you could come get me out of this box, I'll explain."
"I'll be there in forty-five minutes."
Forty-five minutes. Liz had forty-five minutes to think of a way to break into one of the most secure locations she knew of. Could be worse.
#ChaseForBook9
Hi Sparky! Hi Stormageddon!
#ChaseForBook9
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