Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Heh... Nieces...

My sister just sent me this video of my niece Becca getting VERY upset because her dad keeps getting the snorting from Peppa Pig wrong...


4,965 comments:

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The Grave of a Coward said...

(Yes, Dragona, I'm doing one of my apparently well-liked solo RPs.)

Dragona Pine said...

Oh, ok. ^^



*puts his gun away* :P

The Grave of a Coward said...

*puts face in his hands*
What . . . where did I go wrong . . ?

*minion enters*
Minion: Uh, Mr. Neurotic? A fellow called Jim is on the line, he says you were supposed to have lunch today . . ?

Cancel it!
*angrily begins to pace*
Look! Look at this!

Minion: Your pacing?

No! The screen!

Minion: *squints* It seems to be . . . my goodness! Isn’t that you nemesis fighting Crazy Frenchman?

Yes, yes it is.
*sits down heavily*
She said she’s his arch-nemesis.

Minion: *dawning realization* Ohhhh . . .

That means I’m not good enough for her, doesn’t it? Now she wants a DIFFERENT nemesis? Well, fine. Let her do as she pleases. *snort* I don’t need her. I hope she rots in hell.
*wipes down hands with moist towelette*
I’ll just get Bad Horse to send me a NEW nemesis. See how SHE likes it.

The Grave of a Coward said...

Minion: I’ve brough the letter from Bad Horse, sir.

Read it aloud.

Minion: *opens mouth*

*four cowboys enter the room and burst into song*
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
He rides across the nation
The thoroughbred of sin
He got the application
That you just sent in
It needs evaluation
So let the games begin
An enemy to show some force
A nemesis is nice, of course
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
Bad Horse
He's bad
The Evil League of Evil
Is watching, so beware
The grade that you receive
Will be your last, we swear
So make the Bad Horse gleeful
Or he'll make you his mare . . .
Get saddled up
There's no recourse
It's Hi-Ho Silver
Signed Bad Horse

Minion: I think you're going to have to find your own nemesis, sir.

*looks mournfully at the TV screen*
It won't be the same . . .

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

XD

Wbd, working in my ded projects since no one else volunteered.

#ChaseForBook9

Kilandra Xyle said...

Ah, little people and their tantrums. Or big people and their insistence that they're right. Both are hilarious.

The Grave of a Coward said...

*storms angrily down the street*
After all this time . . . 500 years . . . she leaves me . . . to go foil the evil plans of some damn ADHD supervillain? Why would she want to deal with a villain with a messed up brain!?
*steps in a puddle*
*squeals like a girl*
*frantically wipes mud off shoes*
*continues walking*
I just don’t understand it. I don’t. I really don’t. That bitch!

Noelle said...

Oh lord..

The Grave of a Coward said...

*sits down on park bench*
Doctor Precocious . . . why?
I thought we had something . . . special.
*realised the bench his dirty and leaps to his feet*
Ugh!
*wipes himself off*
*sighs*
Who am I kidding? Look at me. I’m a wreck. An OCD wreck. Life-Giver my arse, I’m a joke.
*walks down the street with his head down*
*rain starts falling from the sky*

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Hello, Adra!)

So she goes and becomes lifelong enemies with Crazy Frenchman. I'll deal with that. I can deal with anything.

Snotty Little Kid: Hey mister, that white stripe in your hair looks stupid!

Whatever, kid.

Snotty Little Kid: *kicks dirt at Oscar*

Augh! Hey! Hey, come back here! Eww . . .
*wipes the dirt off*
Stupid little snot-nosed *shudder* kid.

Noelle said...

I never left

But hi

The Grave of a Coward said...

Femme Fatale: Hey. Hey, hey Oscar. I hear you’re out a nemesis.

Huh?

FF: I’m Femme Fatale, Elemental, and it just so happens that I’m in the business of foiling evil plots.

Oh really?

FF: Yes, yes I am. So if you’d like to tell me where your next evil scheme is, I’ll bring a fifty cal revolver and a bottle of champagne.

. . .

FF: . . .

You know something?
What the hell.
I’m going to turn Australia into cheese at eight. See you there.

The Grave of a Coward said...

----Meanwhile, across town . . .----

*panting heavily*
You know what, this has been fun, but I really have to go foil a different evil scheme right now. A certain somebody is going to turn Australia into cheese. Now, can you please remove me from this concrete wall? It’s ruining my lab coat.

CF: Oh ho ho ho ho HO HO! You are my arch-nemesis, and it is my duty to destroy you!

Look, you’re really evil, and all that, but I know someone who’s a little bit more evil than you and, frankly, has better hair.

CF: You mean you do not wish to be my arch-enemy?

I already have a nemesis. I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ll find a lovely superheroine somewhere else, though. Bye, Crazy Frenchman.

CF: Oh ho ho ho HO! Escape will not be so easy!

*cage falls from ceiling, trapping Precocious*
HELP!

CF: Ah, yes, the Evil Leage of Evil will be very pleased to know that I have captured my nemesis!

The Grave of a Coward said...

CF: *dials on evil cell phone*

Dr. Horrible: Hello? Evil League of Evil, speaking.

CF: Oh ho ho ho HO! I have captured my nemesis! *takes picture of Precocious in cage* You see? Oh ho ho HO!

Dr. Horrible: Hold on, isn’t that Oscar Neurotic’s nemesis?

CF: Who in the heck is Oscar Neurotic?

Dr. Horrible: *typing on laptop* Ah, he’s a supervillain, like yourself. Except he’s OCD, instead of ADHD, and he has a white stripe in his hair.

CF: He sounds exceedingly silly-looking.

Precocious: Yes, he can be.

The Grave of a Coward said...

*sneaks out of cage when CF isn’t looking*
Ah-ha! I’m out! Now if I can just . . .
*slips into bathroom*
Perfect! Now all I need to do is-
*cell phone starts ringing*
Wait, what?
*glances at caller ID*
*O. Neurotic*
What-
*flips open mobile*

The Grave of a Coward said...

*This is what she hears:*

. . . . . . . *scratch scratch* . . . wait, what . . . now press that button there . . . shut up, Minion . . . Ah, Miss Fatale, glad you could make it . . .

Precocious’ Inner Dialogue: I don’t think he knows he called me. What, did he butt-dial me? And why am I on his speed-dial?

. . . Miss Fatale, as you can see . . . please, stop, I’m trying to explain . . . if you don’t listen, I can’t explain . . . evil plot . . . Australia . . . Miss, please . . . I thought you were here to foil my evil scheme . . . why yes, I like champagne . . .

*flips phone shut*
*doesn’t move for a moment*
He . . . replaced me?



I’m not his nemesis anymore?

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Anyone still there?)

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Yeah, just not really saying much.

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

*stalks down the street, all alone*
Well, I guess I got what I wanted. Finally, I don’t have to deal with trying to kill that guy and him trying to kill me. It’s over. We’re through. I don’t have to deal with his whining or his stripe or his moist towelettes or his OCD any longer!
*halfhearted tries to skip*
I’m free!

*Oscar is walking down the street the otherway*
Well . . . that was . . . eventful.
*cough*
Damn near turned Australia into cheese, though. Even had to push the self-destruct button myself just to ensure my plot was foiled. It was also much easier when my nemesis did it FOR me, but, eh, what can you do?

*they pass each other*
*they stop*
*they slowly turn around*

In unison: Weeeeell, this is awkward.

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((Yeah I'm here too))

The Grave of a Coward said...

Oscar: *stiffly* Sooooo . . . where's Crazy Frenchman?

Where's Femme Fatale?

Oscar: *cough* I'm not sure. We went our separate ways.

Why?

Oscar: She had differing ideas about the job of a nemesis, anyway, why do you care? And HEY! How do you know about Femme Fatale?

You butt-dialed me.

Oscar: Oh.

Oh! What's that!?

Oscar: What? What!?

There's something on your collar!

Oscar: Ewwwww!
*pulls out towelette and examines what's on his collar*
*it's lipstick*
*the temperature in the air seems to drop ten degrees*

The Grave of a Coward said...

*folds arms*
*gives Oscar an icy stare*
Why is there lipstick on your collar, Oscar?

Oscar: . . .

. . .

Oscar: . . .

. . .

Oscar: . . . I'm gay?

No, you're not gay. In fact, I think that lipstick proves you're not.

Oscar: What business is it of yours what I do with my nemesis!?

Plenty of business, considering until recently it was ME who was your nemesis!

Oscar: Well, you're not anymore. you said that you're not. I heard you. So why do you care?

I . . . I don't.

Oscar: Damn right you don't. And I don't care either.

*they stare each other down*

Dragona Pine said...

I'm here.

The Grave of a Coward said...

Well, if you're so happy with your sexy nemesis lady, I think I'll just go running back to Crazy Frenchman. He's funny. He's got pep.

Oscar: Maybe I will go back to Femme Fatale. She's prettier than you, and she doesn't mind a bloke with OCD!

What's that supposed to mean?

Oscar: I don't actually know!

After 500 years you're just going to walk out?

Oscar: I think I will!

Oh yeah?

Oscar: Yeah!

Bastard!
*conjures blue energy*

Oscar: Whore!
*conjures golden light*

Noelle said...

*bursts in*LADIES PLEASE CAN YE NOT KISS AND MAKE OU-

UP

The Grave of a Coward said...

----The town erupts into mass confusion, caused by an explosion of blue energy and hardened beams of light in the middle of Main Street. People begin to flee the scene as debris falls from buildings, and several cars are swallowed up in a carter blaster through the center of town. If anyone had been brave enough to look, they would've seen two figures, a girl in a lab coat and a man with a white stripe in his hair, circling each other warily, each one aglow with power.----

Oscar: Bartholomew's Defense? Really? So crude. Easily broken with a . . . SAILOR'S STRIKE!
*hurls shining discus of light*

Ha!
*blue shield melts out of the air in from of her*
But the Sailor's Strike is useless against a Distance Engage. Or a TWIN KEYBLADE STRIIIIIIKE!
*hurls two massive blue javelins*

Oscar: *spins into the air in a cocoon of light, the javelin's bouncing off as he lands gracefully on the hood of a nearby car*
Hah! That's elementary school stuff.
*twirls pen in hand*
*the light intensifies*
See through THAT, if you can!

The Grave of a Coward said...

Half an hour later:

Oscar: Owww . . .
*slides off on minivan*

Urgh . . .
*clambers out from under a pickup truck*

Oscar: I'm gonna kill you . . . oww . . .

No, I'm gonna kill you . . . as soon as . . . owwwww . . . I can feel my legs . . .
*flops face-first onto the ground*

The Grave of a Coward said...

Urgh . . . I'm gonna kill you . . . then I'm gonna go be Crazy Frenchman's nemesis . . .

Oscar: Owww . . . as soon as I . . . I'm finished with you . . . I'm gonna go make out with Femme Fatale . . . oww . . .

Shut up.
*awkwardly tries to crawl away*

Oscar: Hey! No! I have to kill you . . . oww . . .
*awkwardly tries to crawl after her*

The Grave of a Coward said...

What . . . what is THAT?

Oscar: It's a bird . . .

It's a plane . . .

In Unison: It's Crazy Frenchman and Femme Fatale!

CF: Oh ho ho ho HO! I am going to rule the world, mon ami, and there is nothing you can do to stop me!

FF: Wanna bet, big boy?
*pulls out enormous laser rifle*
FREEEEEEEEEDOM!
*shoots at CF and chases him off into the sunset*

. . .

Oscar: . . .

Administrator Kestrel LeStarre-Sparrowhawk The Celestial said...

Hi everyone!

Adra, does all the snow mean the lake is frozen?

Noelle said...

Yes the lake is frozen

The Grave of a Coward said...

Well, there goes my nemesis.

Oscar: And there goes MY nemesis.

. . .

Oscar: . . .

You know, you're only a REALLY good good guy if you have a supervillain nemesis . . .

Oscar: And if your evil schemes aren't worth foiling than they weren't that evil to begin with . . .

In Unison: So . . .

It's been a 500 year feud. Why stop now?

Oscar: Well, I . . . oww . . . I would love to be your nemesis again. If you'd have me.

*gives him shocked look*

Oscar: No! I meant, if you wanted me back!

. . . Yeah. You know what? I really do.

Oscar: Great. I missed you, Doctor.

I missed you too, Oscar.

Oscar: . . . by the way . . .

Hmm?

Oscar: You don't mind my OCD, do you? I mean, it's not . . . unattractive?

It's very unattractive.

Oscar: *sadly* Oh.

But stripes in one's hair are very attractive.

Oscar: *brightens up* You think so?

Yes, I do.

Oscar: Well, thank you, Doctor.

You're welcome, Oscar.

THE END

Administrator Kestrel LeStarre-Sparrowhawk The Celestial said...

Excellent.

*puts on ice skates*
*goes out on lake, skating around in circles*

Star Inkbright said...

*hugs Annika* I love your roleplays with Oscar and you. :) *casually misspells 'Oscar' twice despite the fact I know how to spell it* That was really sweet. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Noelle said...

I SHIP THEM

CAN U RP THEM HERE

PLZ

I NEED TO SEE IT

Administrator Kestrel LeStarre-Sparrowhawk The Celestial said...

People need to use my computer, so I'm gone. Bye!

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Nobody ded so...I will.

I dedicate this page to trust. Trust is needed everywhere in anythinf, in home school work anywhere. When nobody trusts it falls to pieces and relationship even parent to child. So everyone just please....keep the peace learn to trust and most of all value the friends you have. You may not have friends later on who stick to you.

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Adra, don't I already role-play them here . . ? And thank you for the compliments, Star! *twirls in a happy meadow of blissful compliments*)

Noelle said...

Okay Kessie!

*raises glass* hear hear

I WANT TO TALK TO THEM THOUGH

The Grave of a Coward said...

(You can talk to Precocious whenever you like; I AM Precocious, after all. But I'll keep Oscar in reserve for now, and maybe I'll bring him out on special occasions ;) He prefers to hang out with the supervillain community.)

Noelle said...

NOOOOOOO

OH MY GOD

IM SO SAD NOW

OH GOD THIS PHYSICALLY HURTS ME

AH
OW
OH GOD

*digs a hole in the snow and hides in it and awaits death*=

The Grave of a Coward said...

*pats shoulder soothingly*
I'm sorry you're feeling sad, Adra, may I fetch you a cup of tea?

Noelle said...

YOU RUINED MY FEELINGS *sobs* *coughs up blood* ow

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

NUUUU *runs to Adra* Live please

Noelle said...

I CAN'T

SHE HATH KILLED ME

The Grave of a Coward said...

(*giggles* Sorry. Wait, no, I'm not sorry at all. *bows low* I'm glad I gave you a case of the feels. It makes me feel good about my writing skills.)

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

I will bring you! Please live...*kneels beside*

The Grave of a Coward said...

I'm not sure quite what happened. She seems to be ill, and seems to think that I somehow caused it!
*sits down beside Adra*
I'm dreadfully sorry for your pain, but I couldn't have done it. I was across town foiling my nemesis' plot.

Noelle said...

*curls up in a ball*
*whispers* no *hacks up more blood*

And no... I have been I'll for quite sometime

The Grave of a Coward said...

Hold still. I am a doctor, after all.
*checks pulse*
Well, your heartbeat doesn't seem irregular.

Noelle said...

*ill

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

If i must I shall do anything to revive you

Noelle said...

I'm a doctor as well, you nitwit. I know what's wrong, but it's incurable so you don't need to fret

The Grave of a Coward said...

I know a man who's a Life-Giver. Even if it's incurable, he should be able to alleviate some of the pain.

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

It hurts seeing you hurt

The Grave of a Coward said...

It hurts seeing you hurt to see her hurt.

Noelle said...

It hurts to hurt

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I'm sorry, everyone, but my psychology textbooks are calling to me, and I must retire. Farewell . . .)

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((Have fun))

*looks down at Adra* what exactly is this? That...hurts...you?

Noelle said...

Goodbye, Anni


Zaf, remember when we went to Hogwarts? How I'm sick? How I needed to be careful? When we were out looking for Lorcan I must have caught a cold

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Ah. Well you were in the snow....so what do we do? I mean is there anytging to aliviate your pain?

Noelle said...

No, just wait it out. When I saw Nye he lessened it a bit, and my lungs only hurt a little, a bit like asthma so I'm used to it

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

I guess thats all I can hope for...*bites lip* It sucks seeing you suffer and be powerless

Noelle said...

Powerless? That's bull. *raises fist of iron*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*laughs* Now that is impressive.

Noelle said...

It's fake. It's tinfoil.

Wanna make snow angels?

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Sure! I haven't done that in ages. *plops down in snow and starts making one*

Maralie Lily Charm said...

don't drop thAT THUN THUN THUN

Noelle said...

DON'T DROP THAT DER A DER AYYYYYYYY

*makes a snow angel* yayyy

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

WEEE!!!! *gets up and looks* needs a halo *draws halo over the head and then writes my name above it*

Noelle said...

*lays there in the snow angel*


Join us mera

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*grins and starts making a ball of snow* We should build a massive snowman

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Look at that booty, show me the booty
Give me the booty, I want the the booty
Back up the booty, I need the booty
I like the booty, oh what a booty

Shaking that booty, I saw the booty
I want the booty, lord what a booty
Bring on the booty, give up the booty
Loving the booty, round booty

Down for the booty, I want the booty
Hunting the booty, chasing the booty
Casing the booty, getting the booty,
Beautiful booty, smoking booty
Talk to the booty, more booty...
Fine booty

All about the booty, big old booty
Serious booty, amazing booty
I'll take the booty, where is the booty
Stare at the booty, walking the booty
Touching the booty, whos got the booty
Grabbing the booty, rubbing the booty
Loving the booty, hugging the booty
Kissing the booty, holding the booty
Watching the booty... Kicking the booty

Sleeping booty, screaming booty
Harder booty, softer booty
Sweeter booty, sour booty
New booty, used booty
Whos booty, sister's booty
Your mama's booty
Cookin booty, mean booty
Good luck with the booty

Foreign booty, home booty
Road booty, found booty
Covered booty, bad booty
Sweated booty, powder that booty
Bad booty, sadder booty
Wide booty, wider booty...
Double wide booty

Live for the booty, I like the booty
Suing the booty, scared of the booty
Expensive booty, cheap booty
Discount booty, rented booty
Leased booty, selling the booty
Working booty, easy booty
Sleazy booty, greasy booty
Need a lot more booty

Wet booty, dry booty
I hope that one's my booty
Printed booty, Petted booty
Little bitty booty

Beautiful booty, caressing the booty
Dissing the booty, missing the booty
Messing with the booty
Oh what a wonderful booty

Powerful booty, finding the booty
Give me the booty, wake up booty
Breakfast booty, lunch booty
Supper booty, dinner booty
Expensive booty, cheap booty
Buffet booty, hot booty
Cold booty, takeout booty
Delivery booty
All Booty

Booty booty booty booty booty
Booty booty booty booty booty
Booty booty booty booty booty
Booty booty booty booty booty!

Noelle said...

FUCK

YE

MARA

LEZ do it!

*closes her coat and bundles up*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*looks up at Adra confused* Oh dear! *grins continuing on the snowballs*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Hiiiiii again

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*coughs slightly into the lapel of her jacket and begins to gather snow up*

*snow keeps falling*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Are we expecting a blozzard? *continues and starts on second snowball*

Noelle said...

Maybe not sure

ATGHHDHSBBSJSGU


Mara?

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Mars? *sets second snowball on first* Hmm....

Noelle said...

Eh she might have gone

*begins to build more of the snowman and coughs again*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Do you want a cough drop? *looks around and picks up two sticks* Aha arms!!!

Noelle said...

No, I'll have some tea later, thanks..

*finds a purple carrot*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Hi Adra and Zaf and Mara if you're still here and even if you aren't. [hugs]

#ChaseForBook9

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Yay, purple carrot! XD

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Yes the carrot! *grins and works on the other piece of body*

Noelle said...

I know, right? *puts the carrot in the middle of its face an uses two buckeyes for the eyeballs*
*begins to dress it up*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*grins* Oh ny gosh *wraps a green and silvef scarf around neck*

Noelle said...

*hugs Moss*

Noelle said...

*gives the snowman a top hat and monocle*
*fits a knife into one stick, a magnifying glass in the other*
*takes out a pipe and puts it in its mouth*

*whispers*
Snowlock

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Snowlock *smiles* I wanna put a black coat on the snowman!

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

XD

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*coughs into her arm and teeters a bit then falls, making another snowman*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Adra! *sticks black coat on snowman* there Coco is represented *looks at Adra* Adra don't die

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Adra, are you alright? I mean, I heard you were sick, but...

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Thanks I'll try not to


And it could be Sharky

Noelle said...

Yeah, I should be fine

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Sorry, my mam almost caught me on my iPad so I had to hide my iPad underneath my bed and pretend I was sleeping and she was like "Jane I know you're awake" and without thinking I said "i'm sleeping shut up" so now I'm grounded for three days ☻

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

It can be both! *smiles*

Noelle said...

...I'm so sorry but I am laughing you can kill me now ONFG you're snarky I love it

Noelle said...

I love how that was an automatic response

Respect :3

And yes both is good

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Did I ever tell you guys about my aunt's wedding

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*grins* what? It's true...it can be both! Hmmm....what would Niccolò and Shakry think of that?

Noelle said...

No 0.0


*yawns and lays down on a frozen bench*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

If you say so, Adra.

[hugs Maralieeeeeeeeeeeee]

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

They'd want to have a thesaurus at the snowman's feet

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Fabiiiii *hugs*

Noelle said...

OF COURSE I SAY SO

*sneezes*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*laughs* Well true between them both!

Niccolò Croatoan said...

*steps out of shadows and places a large pile of thesauri, dictionaries, and encyclopedias at the feet of the snowman, keeping them safe from the snow with air* That ought to cover the basics.

#ChaseForBook9

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Oh ha


Well see I was like 10 right and I was outside the wedding reception place just having a drink of 7up (it was like 9 at night) and then suddenly this huGE BUG FLEW INTO MY MOUTH AND DOWN MY THROAT AND I WAS CHOKING AND I COULDN'T GET A DRINK BC I HAD DRANK IT ALL AND I FELL OVER AND CRAWLED TO THE DOOR AND A GUEST WAS COMING OUT TO HAVE A SMOKE AND I MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE A RAPIST BC I WAS GRABBING MY THROAT AND MAKING INHUMAN NOISES AND SHE SCREAMED AND RAN BACK INSIDE THE LIL SHIT AND I WAS TRYING TO GET UP THE STAIRS TO GO INSIDE AND GET SOME HELP AND I WAS THINKING OH GOD I DON'T WANT TO DIE LIKE THIS I WANT TO DIE MARRIED TO HARRY STYLES NOT LIKE SOME HYENA WHO CHOKED ON LAUGHTER AND THEN MY AUNT WHO WAS THE BRIDE SAW ME AND SHE BROUGHT ME INSIDE AND SHE GOt me a drink of water and it was so cold and refreshing

Niccolò Croatoan said...

It is good to hear that you did not die, Maralie.

#ChaseForBook9

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Oops, I accidentally am in both Blogland and Texas... Um, right. I think Texas actually makes more sense, probably the airport in Houston. I don't remember the name.))

#ChaseForBook9

Niccolò Croatoan said...

((That is perfectly alright, Moss. The lack of continuity throughout the roleplay here can become rather astounding- being in two places at once is no capital offense.))

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

IM SCREAMING

Noelle said...

*laughs so hard she coughs up more blood* MERA

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*laughs* Niccolò....oh my god

Maralie Lily Charm said...

I have more stories that I never told anyone ever if you'd like to hear them

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

@Thesaurai XD

@Mara D: That doesn't sound like very much fun! Bad bug!

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*falls on the ground in tears*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Niccolò....it's so you to do that *hugs tightly laughing and then starts crying*

Maralie Lily Charm said...

So I can't swim okay and during swimming season I didn't swim with the rest of the class okay don't ask why but while everyone swims I just sit on the benches but one day all the lifeguards were on the none deep side of the pool and so like I looked at the deep side of the pool aNd I SAW THIS KID FUCKING DROWNING AND NO ONE WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO HIM AND I DIDNT WANT HIM TO DIE SO I TOOK MY SHOES OFF AND RAN AND JUMPED IN TO SAVE HIM AND I FORGOT I COULDN'T SWIM OMFG AND I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA BOTH DIE AND LIKE MY LIFE FLASHED IN FRONT OF MY EYES AND I STARTED REGRETTING ALL THOSE TIMES I DID MY HOMEWORK AND THOSE TIMES WHERE I DIDNT GO TO LUNCH OR SKIP CLASS OR PUNCH THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE OR FLIP MY TEACHERS OFF and in that moment I accepted that I was gonna die a hero and be world famous and kids would look up to me and say mommy I wanna be a hero like her !! BUT NOO THAT KID KNEW HOW TO SWIM AND HE WAS JUST PRACTICING HIS DROWNING FUCKING SKILLS AND HE FUCKING SAVED ME AND I WAS FUCKING PISSED LIKE YOU SHIT I ALMOST DIED TO SAVE YOU SORRY ASS

The Grave of a Coward said...

(So, you know how some of us were thinking about doing some sort of big, massive RP to celebrate the final book of Skulduggery Pleasant? Well, if anyone's still interested in doing something like that, I have an idea, though it is, of course, open to suggestion.)

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

If you want to share them, I'll listen, Mara. :-)

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*laughs harder until she can't breathe*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

OMG MARA

#ChaseForBook9

Niccolò Croatoan said...

Do be careful, Zafira- I happen to have a decent amount of blood on my shirt at the moment, and I doubt you'd want that on your clothes as well.

The fact that your first instinct was to save him yourself is rather admirable, Maralie. I am impressed.

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*backs away* I rather not know. *smiles* You have a very strange sense of humor Niccolò. I added the coat for you though so some part of you lies within the snowman. *something flashes in my eyes, a happy emotion*

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I think it would be an interesting idea if, the day it gets published, we all get together on Derek's blog post about the fact that the series is over, and do a "final" RP. Wether together, or separately, we would all do an RP on that post to sort of wrap up our characters and come to the "end" of their story.
And then, this, this is the kicker. Don't touch that dial! I'll be right back.)

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((In the RP-level of reality, Fabi is in Texas now. In the talking level of reality, she's in Blogland. I'm going to write some more of my subplot now, so wbd.))

#ChaseForBook9

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((I don't really want to think about that right now, Annika. The end of the series is pretty far away and I'd like to mentally keep it that way as long as I can.))

#ChaseForBook9

Niccolò Croatoan said...

((Perhaps either Aretha or I ought to write up some of what we do when no one else is around.

Also, I feel it fitting to tell you that I am listening, Precocious, although I have determined not to voice any opinion until you have finished.))

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

(One of us could start a brand new blog entirely dedicated to comment thread role-play, and on the thread of its very first post, we would all post a description/profile of our characters, sort of updated and finalized. You know, who they are/became at the end of the "original" role-play. And then we would continue on that blog, in a sort of "next-generation" role-play, taking place a period of time AFTER the "final role-play" done on Derek's blog.)

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((Ditto Fabi I barely can cope with the fact Derek could be writing now the book....I'm gonna cry I will....to...oh gods))

Noelle said...

*cayches her breath and falls into a fit of coughs*

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Think of it like the difference between Star Trek: The Original Series and Star Trek: Next Generation.)

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Omfg another time when my class were swimming this guy from my class was sitting beside me bc he wasn't swimming and we were chatting as you do and I started standing up on the bench to see the people on the far side of the swimming pool and then I was pretending i was one of those gymnasts and I started trying to balance with one foot and hop across the bench and the guys started laughing at me and I glared at him and like basically slapped him so he grabbed my arm and fuCKING SHOVED ME INTO THE SWIMMING POOL AND I WaS FUCKING DROWNING AND I WAS PANICKING AND HE WAS LAUGHING AND I WAS SCREAMING LIKE YOU LIL SHIT I'M FUCKING DROWNING I'M GOING TO DIE AND I WAS IN MY CLOTHES AND THEY WERE PULLING ME DOWN AND I WAS SHITTING BRICKS BC I WAS LIKE THIS IS IT MY LIFE IS OVER I WILL NEVER GET TO GO TO FLORIDA OR MAKE OUT WITH ONE DIRECTION I'M DEAD AND THEN SUDDENLY THE GUY STARTED CRYING AND FREAKING OUT AND THEN A LIFEGUARD PULLED ME OUT OF THE WATER AND THE GUY WAS SOBBING AND GOING ARE YOU OKAY AND THE TEACHERS WERE CROWDING AROUND AND I ACTUALLY SAID "DO YOU FUCKING THINK I'M OKAY I ALMOST FUCKING DROWNED THANKS TO YOU YOU LITTLE SHIT" and I got detention

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((Niccolò, I really don't think mentally I could handle that and you know why. I don't need to say it more.))

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I agree, though. These books have been around for so long, that it's going to be really hard to see it go. Though at least we'll get his short-story collection.)

Noelle said...

*claps a hand over her mouth and curls up in the snow, shaking*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*is legit crying* Oh my god....oh my god...

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((That'd be interesting to read, Croatoan.))

((Interesting idea, though, Annika. Suggest it again closer to the time, maybe? I'm not sure if I'll even be there... O.O))

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

Y'all okay, Adra?

(What do you think of the idea? It is fine if you do not like it, I was just thinking it over.)

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((Aretha Tesla is actually my taken name, and as accurately as I can manage in these crazy situations, she is me. So I would essentially be ending myself, which I could do, but then I would have to always be here as someone else, and I wouldn't actually be able to talk to any of you anymore, and I really don't want to do that. And this is the only form of life that Niccolò has outside of my head, and I really don't want him to lose that, so I don't think I could take ending his story either. Also, I intend to use both him and myself in other stories, so we're not just Skulduggery characters anyway. Don't get me wrong- I think it's a cool idea, and I actually like it a lot. I think it'd be very fitting. But I just don't think I could do it.))

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

(I agree, Niccolo, that would be quite a fascinating read.)

Maralie Lily Charm said...

*hugs everyone who read my stories*
I think I have a few more idk

Noelle said...

I can't breathe...

*coughs* Mara is killingme.

The Grave of a Coward said...

(No, you don't understand. We wouldn't be ending any of the characters, we would be ending the first arc of their storyline. The first arc of Niccolo's storyline would be over, but then Niccolo would start a new arc, shortly after when his first arc ended. As a sort of Niccolo 2.0)

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((It'll kill my feelings because more...shipping that I know will never be me. No matter how much my character wants))

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((Ok, I think I'm going to vanish for a bit to write up some of what Niccolò and I do when no one else is around. I'd let him write it, but his writing is usually more plainly factual than mine- no offense, Niccolò, you know I love your writing heaps anyway- and I like feels. So I'm going to write a thing. Any specific gaps in the roleplay or anything that people want me to write? Otherwise I'll just make it random.

Also, Mara, your stories are really awesome, even though it's really sad that you almost die in, like, all of them.))

#ChaseForBook9

Maralie Lily Charm said...

I was such a bitch in 6th class damn and I hated most of the girls in my class cuz they were all bitches lmao but we were all friends (◕‿◕✿) okay so this one girl was nice and shy and I was her friend!!! Let's call her A. So I was at home and I was talking to one of my friends from another school about everyone from that school and I dissed them and shit and she said she had to go and she'll call me in a few and I put the phone down and it rang and I thought oh that was quick!! So I just picked up and continued talking and lmao I STARTED TO TALK SHIT ABOUT A AND IT WAS SO BAD OMFG AND THEN I WAS LIKE SHE PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH I HOPE SHE FAILS SCHOOL AND BECOMES A DRUG ADDICT AND ROTS IN JAIL AND THEN I WAS LIKE WHY ARENT YOU SAYING ANYTHING AND SHE SAID ITS ME A AND I SCREAMED LIKE SHIT OMFG AND I WAS LIKE oh and she said yeah and I just hung up and went to eat (⊙‿⊙✿) the next day in school I saw her standing with her best friend and I walked up to them and was like ayyyyyyeeeeeee how you doing kiiiiiiid and winked at them hoping she'd forgive me :3 three days later we were best friends!!!! IDEK HOW LIKE I WOULD'VE PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE IF ME TALKED SHIT ABOUT ME LIKE THAT

The Grave of a Coward said...

(Well, certainly nobody has to do it, especially if they don't want to. That'll probably be what I'll do, though. I'll publish Doctor Precocious's "last adventure," and then I'll come back later with a "Doctor Precocious 2.0")

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((When cooking eggs, make sure there's a clean spatula before you start. Ugh.))

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*curls in a ball*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((Ah, ok. I'd be fine with that, then. *is referring to Annika's proposal* Though I've sort of done that already, in a way. Like, if you read the first chapter of the Mevolent Collaboration, Niccolò is a totally different person. That story was essentially his first arc, although it hasn't technically ended yet. Maybe I'll write up some of our relationship back when he was like that...))

#ChaseForBook9

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Ari - okayyy I can't wait to read it yay :)

And yeah. Idk I've had so many near death experiences lmao

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((Errs....well you could do the time...no I can't I can't read it Ari I'm sorry it'll be horrible on me! :/ you know this is like daggers in me heart...))

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((Don't even...no. Just make me a grave I need to go die lonely #4EvaAlone))

Sir said...

Greetings, Blogland.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

((Just whatever you feel like writing, Ari. :-))

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

Hello, Sir! Bienvenue.

Noelle said...

Hi Sir!
Sorry I'm getting ready for a parent prom dance thing

Noelle said...

((I really wanna be/ read MC but... I can't *sadness*))


*sticks her face in the snow for a second then eats a bite*

Sir said...

Fear not, Adrasdos.

In any case, how do all of you feel?

Maralie Lily Charm said...

What if you opened a banana and there was a hotdog inside

The Grave of a Coward said...

I feel as if I am sitting on a couch filled entirely with packing peanuts and glue.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Hi Sir!

Zaf, take deep breaths, you'll be okay, and you don't have to read it.)

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Wbd attempting a Lorexis post for Nameless before Em has to get on her hands and knees begging...no promises with getting Lorcan's character I'm pretty awful at that

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

MC.

|||==|=_|==||||>

Another project I'm ridiculously behind on.

#ChaseForBook9

The Grave of a Coward said...

Please don't mock me for being ill-informed (I am, despite being fabulously spectacularly marvelous, still the newest member here) but what is Nameless?

Sir said...

Well, Ms. Annika. That sounds to be an... Unpleasant experience.

The Grave of a Coward said...

It is, Sir, it is.

Noelle said...

Our RP thing where we do a post from our characters POV))

*lumbers back to her swing and sits on it*

Maralie Lily Charm said...

"that's so gay"

*macklemore gasps in the distance*

The Grave of a Coward said...

Oh, thank you, Adra. That sounds cool.

Noelle said...

Mara stop I'm going to die

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Okay how do I approach this? I've been trying since end of September for Derek to possibly Skype with us who are going to a party to celebrate Halloween and not his birthday but Skul's Death Day, so now I asked him, no response Val gets one and gets snobish to me that its such a big thing and we petty Ameriminions from the east are not worthy. SO I asked again and I can DM Derek but I rather not but if I dont get an answer...do I? Like even if its a no at least I tried.

The Grave of a Coward said...

I'm an Ameriminion . . .

*sulks*

The Grave of a Coward said...

Humph.

The Grave of a Coward said...

Ah, well. These things happen.

Noelle said...

Thank gods you commented

Sir said...

Indubitably, Ms. Adrasdos.

The Grave of a Coward said...

I dedicate this page to Sweeny Todd, Pepe le Pew, other such skunks, Damian Carmichael, Bonnie Taylor, Oscar Neurotic, and other folks that have black hair with a white stripe.

Noelle said...

*looks at Sir* I will burn your thesaurus

The Grave of a Coward said...

For shame, Adrasos! I quite like the word indubitably.

Sir said...

Ms. Adrasdos, I can assure you that I require the assistance of no such thing.

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

I know Annika yes I have been privleged but for gods sake he favors Val! Everything she gets I asked for something I am so done with her the fact she rubs it in your face like HAHAHA DEREK ANSWERED TO ME it makes me mad. I mean cool but you know it hurts when you try to do good and the spoiled act spoiled and the person you ask ignores you.

Maralie Lily Charm said...

*becomes a coke dealer* *gives you pepsi and runs away with your money*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

[Is silent]

[Is still here though]

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Mara please I'm crying. *coughs into her handkerchief and pulls out a pair of white ice skates*

Who wants to go ice skating!

Noelle said...

Mara please I'm crying. *coughs into her handkerchief and pulls out a pair of white ice skates*

Who wants to go ice skating!

The Grave of a Coward said...

Oh, hi, Fabi! I didn't see you standing there, you know, being so stealth-like.

I'm also going to dedicate this page to the people who read the fabulous stuff I post on my blog, because they're ridiculous nutcases if they would wish to read such things.

The Grave of a Coward said...

*raises hand*
Adra! I will go ice-skating with you!

Sir said...

I would rather not go ice skating.

Fear not to speak up, Ms. Fabienne.

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Okay my rant is over :)

*is actually eating now and writing Lorexis*

Noelle said...

Come with me! *stumbles to the frozen lake and laces up her ice skates* *coughs into the crook of her arm, coming away red and zooming off gracefully*

Noelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Grave of a Coward said...

*leaps onto the lake and shoots off like a bullet*
Ha ha ha!
*leaps*
*twirls*
*lands on one foot*
I love skating. It reminds me of when I was a kid.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((In the roleplay now I'm 19 years old, and in the MC I was 18 (my birthday was this summer), so let's say in this snippet I'm 17.))

I tossed my coat on the couch and paced around my room for a bit, searching the bookshelves that lined the walls of my room. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew Croatoan was there, watching me from the shadows as he always did. "So, I'm sure you heard, but I have to take out this pyromaniac, and they sent a detective to find him, but said detective is not very efficient-" Sorry, Ellie, I thought to myself, but it's true... "So I'll need you to find the guy. And then I can-" I found myself suddenly forced back against the wall by a strong gust of air. The breath rushed out of my lungs, and I quickly realized the pressure on my neck was too great for me to take in more.
"Aretha, sweetheart," Croatoan's smooth, dark-chocolate voice sounded as he stepped out of the shadows, "You're alive because I keep you that way. You're an assassin because that's what I told you to be. You're good at it because I step in when you're too pathetic to save your own life. I. Own. You. You will not presume to give me any orders, or ask me any favors. Do you understand?" I didn't have close to enough breath to speak, but my expression must have been answer enough. The pressure on my body increased tenfold, then disappeared altogether, and I slumped to the ground, gasping for air. I rubbed my neck with one hand, noting the bruises that were already forming all over. Don't think about it, I thought to myself, knowing if I showed any sign of weakness or dissent he'd just kill me, it's just like ballet. Just shut up and do as you're told.
"Good girl," he laughed, and tossed the book I had been looking for at me. It hit my head and I flinched, but said nothing. 'Good girl' was like a personal jibe- I'd always liked being told that, because whenever I heard that in ballet class it meant I'd perfected some technique, which was a rare and immensely satisfying event. He used it to mock me when I used ballet as a comfort. I pulled the book closer and began to flip through it, looking for the section on fire. "You won't need that," he told me from across the room. He hadn't even looked at what I was reading, but I had grown used to him reading my mind without my knowledge. "He's in Kentucky, and reading a book about where fire flourishes best wouldn't help you with that anyway. You're such an idiot. Maybe I should just kill you."
I, again, said nothing. I knew it was no trouble for him to find people- I wasn't sure how, but it seemed like he could instantly locate anyone on the planet as long as he had seen them at least once before. I also knew that if I mentioned having asked him to find the man, he would likely kill me. It was no trouble for him. In fact, I was convinced that nothing was any trouble for him. Except maybe taking off his coat- I'd never seen him without it, and I didn't even want to know how many knives he carried in it. A quick glance in his direction told me he was getting bored, so I closed the book, put it back in his place, and turned to him. "I'm ready," I said, noting how steady my voice was. I'd become good at shutting off my emotions, and he always seemed to play along, even though I was sure he knew how much I hated killing.
"Rule number one- never wait for your enemies to come to you." I blinked, and when my eyes were open fire was everywhere, and a laughing lunatic stood in the midst of the destruction. I cleared my mind and lunged, and within a few seconds, he was finished. I told Croatoan the tears were from the smoke in my eyes.

#ChaseForBook9

Maralie Lily Charm said...

She wears short skirts I wear the skin of my enemies she's cheer captain and I'm a serial killer

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