Monday, August 19, 2013

Strong Female Characters

My Twitter-wife Holly Smale has brought to the attention of her Twitter-followers, of which I am one, this here magazine article entitled "I Hate Strong Female Characters" — http://www.newstatesman.com/culture/2013/08/i-hate-strong-female-characters — and I have to say I agree with it wholeheartedly.

For those of you too time-constricted/lazy to read it, it basically holds up a hand in the classroom and has the temerity to ask "Why are vibrant female characters called strong?" Why are they limited to such a thing? More to the point, however, is why is the word "strong" slung in there at all? If you take away the strong bit, that leaves "female character"— but isn't a female character just as inherently strong as a male character? Why do they need "strong" in there at all?

People say to me all the time "Derek, you're great," and I can't argue with them. They go on to say "I love your black shirt/blue jeans combo" and I nod wisely, agreeing with them but not needing to put it into words. Then they say "It's so cool that your books have strong female characters" and I shrug, and say "Hey, I'm a pretty awesome guy. Now go get me some Skittles."

Valkyrie is a strong female character. As in, she's strong, she's female, and she's a character. But she is not a Strong Female Character. She's not a role model — not really. She's deeply, DEEPLY flawed. Over the course of these eight books, she's done some outstandingly heroic things, but she's also done some downright mean and nasty and selfish things. She's hurt people. She's become arrogant (and not in the cool way that I am).

Here's what Holly has to Twitter-say about the subject:

"Strength" is one dimensional. It's saying "women can be strong like men", NOT "women are flawed, complex, brilliant, weak LIKE MEN."

 I love it when readers don't like Valkyrie. I love it when they actively dislike her for the things she's done and the way she's behaved. But it's like they're surprised. It's like they can't compute. "Okay, wait, so... she saves the world but... but she's cheating on her boyfriend?? How is that POSSIBLE?"

Valkyrie is a character. She's as messed up as any male character I could ever write. That's what makes her real to me.

Having a girl as the protagonist in an action/adventure/horror/fantasy/whatever means things are going to get physical, and you all know how much I love my fight scenes. But having her kick ass is not why she's a good character.

Years ago, I was yapping to my mother about Buffy and Xena and talking about how great it is that we now have these TV shows about such strong female characters. My mother, who admittedly has never watched either show, asked me if these really WERE strong female characters, or if they were merely male characters with boobs.

Having a blonde cheerleader save the world with her martial arts skills doesn't equal feminism, she said. That's a male tactic. How about her saving the day using tactics that aren't all about punching and kicking and killing?

I didn't have an answer for her then. I still don't, even now. There's a whole debate to be had that I'm just not ready for, that I may never be ready for. My mother is a pacifist. I am not. We see the world differently, we operate differently, even though we want the same things. We both want equality and peace. My mother is the sort to talk her way to equality and peace. I'm the sort to talk to the point where I reckon more talk won't do any good, and then smash my way through to an understanding. It is not an enlightened viewpoint I hold. It is a crass, brutish viewpoint — but in a crass, brutish world, I believe my way is the way to go. Mum believes otherwise.

And that's the difference, I think, between us. We live in a world carved by men, where fear and oppression and violence are a part of our lives. I can't even IMAGINE a world sculpted by women, where other values have taken hold. I'm limited in that way. I could try not to be, but I honestly wouldn't know where to start. That's kind of sad, when you think about it. For all my imagination, I can't even imagine that...

... (turns to stare hauntingly out the window).



4,955 comments:

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Noelle said...

*watches the sunrise*

Noelle said...

*hums, casually sipping some water and braiding some vines together*

The requiem ball is next week... EEK!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

...Requiem Ball?
(I really need to come on more often)

Ulcabhán Brave said...

Awwww..... Alexis Dedicated a page to me...

Noelle said...

Oh wow.

Yeah. Same date as last year!

Maralie Lily Charm said...

ZERRIE IS NOT ENGAGED

IT IS JUST A PROMISE RING (:

JADE CONFIRMED IT ON TWITTER

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Alexis: i did dedicate a page to you

MSD

Noelle said...

Omg MARA :)

Noelle said...

Jesus, Zaf lol

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Im up early cuz i am going to Seaside and im supposed to offcially arise in 5mim

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

YAY ANOTHER REQUIEM BALL!
I'm going to actually try and find a dress this year...!

Noelle said...

... I have school in thirty minutes ugh.
At least it's English...

Fun class

Noelle said...

Lol Cain-
I'm excited for Harralie. MY SHIP.

I'm going to try and get Octa and Kallie to get on...

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Sucker! Okay i must go offcially wake be back possbily if not cya all tomorrow

Ulcabhán Brave said...

Hi Zaf!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

HARRALIE IS MY OTP BY FAR <3

Jophiel said...

Fuck it. Fuck it all.

I hate being brought up under 'The Man' and not allowed to voice my opinions or my side if the story because, I'm a little girl. My sister said that I looked stoned and I said that I felt like it. Only then did dad interrupt us. "Dannielle, you don't even know what stoned is. It's not very nice. Is it?"
To which I paused and waited, wondering what violence would come towards me if I said that I did know what it means and my sister and I joke about it all the time.
"Is it?"
I took a deep breath. "No."
I know that I have to answer to my dad, he promised to chop off my fingers if I do something out of place.

It's not only my dad who I have to answer to. I also have to answer to my older brother. He verbally abuses me every night - well aware of my depression - and finds great pleasure in watching my torment. I saw him smiling in the doorway as I cried on my bed once...

What I'm really trying to say is that I've had enough of egotistical freaks. I. Have. Given. Up. On. This. Game.

Ulcabhán Brave said...

Is Alexis There? I just wanna say thanks to her.

Noelle said...

Bye. Zaf!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Egotistical freaks will always be there, Death. Always.
But think. before you know it, you'll be able to drive a car, you can move out of home, you can do anything.
This is only, what, 17-18 years of your life. You have those other remaining years where you can run away and find true happiness.
And I don't blame you with the wanting to give up. I gave up on friendship at school a while ago. I had lost the two most important friendships like a twig snapping, and I... I guess I closed off my heart. And it hurt at the start. It really did. I just acted like I was fine, like I wasn't alone. I acted to hang out with people while I ate, then I disappeared to the library once I had finished eating. When something happened that I would usually tell my friend, he wasn't there, so I kept it inside, as it was stupid to tell anyone else. It was just a little thing, and it didn't matter. The other day, I realised, that closing off my heart had some consequences. I didn't really seem happy when something funny happened, or that I really felt sad, until last night, when I saw your comments, Death, and your blog post. I finally felt emotion, I guess that's how to explain it.
But idiots will always be there. But giving up completely is stupid. It means they win. And they can't win. They don't deserve it.
And you're 15, yes? 15 years. You can make the other 3 and escape. 3 years is easy.
Promise me you'll carry on fighting. Promise me.

Ulcabhán Brave said...

I GTG BYYE

Maralie Lily Charm said...

PERRIE'S MUM CONFIRMED IT

ZERRIE ARE GETTING MARRIED

OMG <3

I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Bye Brave and Alexis says your welcome

Ulcabhán Brave said...

Miss Cain is right.

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Miss cain is right and Death

Keep breathing my angel

Noelle said...

I must depart for school.
Later gators

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Ok Death bastards live everywhere but never give in NEVER. You grow strong from the things that happen to you: this is something you know is wrong and will learn from your parents mistakes. You don't deserve the torment you get but know deep down inside the best satisfaction is going to be when you turn 18 and move out and win. You will win the fight Rose, keep breathing my angel

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Bye Adra!

Oh Mara theres 1D on tv by me

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

They have a movie...This Is Us? Thats why 1D was on the news

Ebony Law said...

Death, the world is full of dickheads. If I met your brother, I'd punch his windpipe and stick something sharp in his ear.
-hugs, and sings Mad World-

Jophiel said...

You don't know the half if it, Chrome... *Pushes him away and climbs tree*

Noelle said...

*sneaks back in hugging all*
Yesterday was rough... But today will be better

Noelle said...

That was, by the way, not literal.

I'm exhausted, between you and Em, though... I would do it again. Always.

Maralie Lily Charm said...

THIS IS US SQUEE

THE PREMIER WAS YESTERDAY<3

AND ZERRIE ARE ENGAGED

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAAAAAAAY~

#ChaseForBook9

Ebony Law said...

-follows up the tree-

Tell me what happened. Please.

Jophiel said...

Yesterday was shit... Today is shit...

Jophiel said...

*Shakes head* People are just being totalitarian and egotistical jerks...

Ebony Law said...

Why? What happened? I know you're upset, but tell me what actually happened.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*shadow walks up tree next to Death*
Promise me.
In three years, you fly free.
You'll become a free angel.
I want you to promise me.
And don't ever lose touch with me, so you can tell me you did it.

Noelle said...

*hugs all*
I have to go...

I'll try 80 minutes. If not then then 160.

Maralie Lily Charm said...

*hugs Death*

*hugs Alex*

*hugs Adra*

*hugs Zaf*

*hugs everyone*

#ChaseForBook9

Ebony Law said...

Yeah, well, today was shit for me too.

Some douchebag told me I should kill myself, so I grabbed him, shoved him into a wall, elbowed his throat, kneed his balls and stomped on his chest. Got a Saturday Detention.

Jophiel said...

Got my iPod taken off me in class for messaging my mum because my uncle's back in hospital with the flu after his chemo... Then I ended up crying in front if that bastard... Then I had to miss my bus to explain to this other jerk why I had my iPod out in class... Then my brother came in, did his verbal, then dad won't let me voice anything I believe in... *Sighs and closes eyes* Life. Is. Shit.

Jophiel said...

*Hugs Cain, Mara then Alex* I know I shouldn't be complaining when people have it so much worse than me...

Star Inkbright said...



Aretha Tesla said...

Ok, this is one of those times when I really wish Niccolò had an actual physical form of his own... His paintings are awesome, but there is no way I will be able to replicate them. So they only exist in my head. Darn it. Maybe I should learn to paint...

#ChaseForBook9
August 11, 2013 at 5:21 AM

Hunter doesn't paint, but I SO UNDERSTAND THE SENTIMENT.

And, Mushroom's deds are absoluteky amazing and incredible and WATERFALL (because waterfalls and just beautiful and amazing).*points to the one about trust*
She's not here, or I would say thank you for it . . .

And, lunch. Bbs.

#ChaseForBookNine

Ebony Law said...

Well, I won't pretend I know what you're going through. I've never been treated that badly by... Nevermind. I don't really have a true family, now do I? Except for Alice.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Alex your intro thingy on your profile is just perfect asdfghjkl <3
I ship it

*hugs Death*
*doesn't let go*

Star Inkbright said...

OH MY GOSH, ZERRIE ARE ENGAGED????????????????? O_O

CONGRATS TO THEM!

*disappears NOW*

#ChaseForBOokNine

Jophiel said...

I'm so sorry Alex... I really am... *Hugs him tighter*

Jophiel said...

Oh... Crap... I think I'm about to be sick...

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Death, don't think that way.
Yeah, someone may have it worse, but you have a right to say your troubles. You have a right to voice your beliefs, and if no one in your family likes it, voice your beliefs with us.
We all love you, with all our hearts.
(okay going really distant I have to finish homework)

Jophiel said...

But Cain, you guys really shouldn't... If you knew me, like, the real me, you'd hate me...

Ebony Law said...

It's okay.

















































...I miss them so much...



















Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

And anyone else that reads this.
You have a right to say your troubles and your fears, your pains and everything. Because I'll listen. I might even force you to tell me so you feel better, because I want to help everyone, no matter how far away they are.
I will help.

Jophiel said...

Alex... If you ever want to talk, please contact me. Please... I don't like it when the people closest to my heart are suffering... *Sniles sadly* I'm really sorry...

Ebony Law said...

-laughs, and kisses Rose-

Don't worry, Rose.

-spins around-

So what? I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves and I don't need you.

Now I feel stupid for singing

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*throws Skittles at Death*
HUSH.
I love you for you. Every single fucking thing about you, I love. Because you're my best friend, and friends stick together, no matter what.
I may let other friends slip from my grasp, but I will not even loosen my grip on you for one second. Because you're you, and you are perfect at being yourself, and you're just asdfghjkl never lose hope, or I'll lose a heart.

Ebony Law said...

Don't worry, it was a long time ago.

Jophiel said...

*Looks down*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*hugs all of you*

Jophiel said...

*Hugs Zaf back* I can feel an emotional breakdown coming on...

Jophiel said...

Also, parents usually turn off the wifi soon... Bye I'm advance...

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Deathy keep breathing my angel

Jophiel said...

I don't know what to do... *Sighs*

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*also hugs everyone*

Everyone is perfect as themselves, because no one call tell you you're wrong, because they're not you. No one is you, so who are they to tell you that you're not perfect the way you are?

Jophiel said...

I'm no angel...

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Keep breathing my angel, remember that if you wanna talk you can always email me bellagaunt13@gmail.com you may be in a weird timezone but i will reply as soon as i'm able

Maralie Lily Charm said...

Life is a cruel game, in my eyes.

We get hurt. We have happines that is taken away from us in mere seconds, just to play with our emotions. Because that''s all I believe life is. Life is just a game. You can either survive, or thrive.

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

You are an angel, Rose. You have your wings from the Hell you live with

Jophiel said...

Thanks Zaf... *Takes a deep breath and bursts into tears*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*hugs tightly* Ari isnt here so I shall take this *hugs and doesnt let go*

Jophiel said...

*Pushes Zaf off and climbs to a higher branch*

Jophiel said...

Yeah... Parents are turning off wifi momentarily... Bye...

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Fine, if you won't believe you're an angel, I'll think of something else to say...

Mirai wa akaruidesu
未来は明るいです
The future is bright
(yes, I used Google Translate because I don't know fluent Japanese, okay)

I used Japanese because I love that language, and it's made me, me. And although I have no ancestral link with Japan, I love it everything about it.

Star Inkbright said...

@Death: In the Heroes of Olympus, Percy, Hazel and Frank went to rescue Thanatos (the god of Death), because with him captured, everyone was getting out of the Underworld and coming back to life. When they met him, he was beautiful, and he had wings, and he said he was often mistaken for Cupid, beacuse love and death are really not so different.

Someone said once that, think of Life and Death as two countries. EVeryone would rather be in life, so Thanatos is sort of the border police who stops people going from Death into Life.
And . . . I think all of this can be used as a metaphor for you, Death, Death Rose. Everyone may dislike you and would rather be in Life, but you're a beautiful angel who, when people actually KNOW you, they mistake for love.

Yes?

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

*Someone in the book

Not a random someone.

#ChaseForBookNine

Jophiel said...

No...

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Gtg! Bye

Star Inkbright said...

YES!

Look, I used this metaphor before, and I sort of like it, so here we go:

You, Death, are a star. Not a Star, a star. I'm a Star. You're a star. Yeah?
You're a shining star and you light up the night sky and you twinkle and are beautiful and yes.
However, stars are round balls of gas, like footballs in shape, and they don't have any necks or anything, so you can';t see yourself. I mean, would a human being ever be able to see what their head looked like if they didn't have mirrors? And your whole body is just head, so you can't ever see yourself and how bright a beautiful you are.
Humans can't see their heads, but they can touch them, and find out the shape of them. You, as a star, can't do that, because you don't have any arms or anything to touch yourself with. And one side of a football can't lean around and touch the other (unless it deflates and they touch in the middle. And stars don't deflate. They explode), so you can't ever feel yourself.
And you also can't taste yourself beacuse you're not a cannibal, and how would you eat your head anyway? Imagine a human trying to eat their head without being able to use tools such as arms to assist them. FAIL!
And all you can hear is you burning alive, like RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Because stars are BURNING balls of gas.
ANd all your can smell is burnt gas, come to think of it.
And it's so sad that you're burning alive and you're hurting, come to think of it.
Back to the point. You can't see at yourself using any of the five sense, so you can't see how beautiful you are.
But you are beautiful.
You're a shining star.
And I hope you stop burning soon, and upgrade to glow-in-the-dark-plastic on a ceiling with Taia dropping cookie crumbs on you, but if that doens't happen, you're still a star, and I love you.

#ChaseForBookNine

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Star,
that was the best thing I've heard all my life.

Bethany said...

thank you for introducing me to the article because it really was fantastic. women are so under-represented in media and it needs to change.

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

HEEY

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

Oh...

If anyone's here I guess....

Dragona Pine said...

Hello. I have returned.

Dragona Pine said...

And no one is here.

Noelle said...

*quietly ships*

*isn't here?*

Dragona Pine said...

No one is still here.

Dragona Pine said...

Oh wait. Hi Adra! How are you?

Star Inkbright said...

Sorry I poofed.

You can blame my siblings.

NEVER make promises to your siblings. They hold you to them. :P

Anyway, hi.

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

HANDS UP IF YOU'RE HERE!

*raises hand*

#ChaseForBookNine

Noelle said...

Okay! In Health

WBVD

Star Inkbright said...

HI ADRA! :)

So.

What's happening rp-wise atm?

Because I've still only read up to the eleventh in the comments. -_-

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

I felt like changing my profile picture.

May stick with this or find something new.

#ChaseForBookNine

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Hi! I'm sort of here!

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

Sorry I poofed also.




Hey Star! How are you? And by the way, there's a LOT of mass effect stories if you're interested. ^^

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Ugh........

Hduebvianeochaheucjajroznwhfjklejcjgengmksnjahth

[not here]

[This comment isn't relevant in the slightest, feel free to ignore it]

#ChaseForBook9

Star Inkbright said...

HEY ARI!

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

HEY FABI!

HEY DRAGONA - yeah, I've been away for two weeks and haven't done anything online except email occasionally during that time. Sorry.

#ChaseForBookNine

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Hey Star! I have greatly missed your awesomeness!!

#ChaseForBook9

Star Inkbright said...

38, 19, 40, 40, 57, 39, 79, 5 . . . It feels good to be playlisting again. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Dragona Pine said...

I didn't expect you to read them whilst you were gone. I knew you were away. For a start I tried not to post anything since you're like one of... about six people who read it? But then I realised I couldn't not post anything for a while so I decided just to carry on, admittedly though less often than normal. ^^

Dragona Pine said...

I was on holiday for three days and came back a few hours ago. The funniest thing I saw was a 10 year old putting a croissant in a toaster meant for bread and crumpets ONLY (and it was clearly stated). And the croissant burst into flames - literally. It didn't just go black. It was on FIRE.

And I laughed. A lot.

Star Inkbright said...

Oh, gosh. My brother's put my sister in a cupboard, tied the door handles together with rope, and won't let her out . . .

#ChaseForBookNine

Dragona Pine said...

BUT on the downside I haven't played Mass Effect for THREE WHOLE DAYS.

I don't know how I'm going to survive. Tomorrow I must go and shoot Husks and Thresher Maws and anything else that gets in my way and save the entire galaxy because that's an ordinary day for me.

AND I've decided to buy some Mass Effect posters from Ebay - one of each of my favourite characters. In fact I might just cover my walls with Mass Effect posters. I wish you could buy them in shops. But the games are a few years old and yeah.

Damn you random annoying bands that some people like but a lot of people don't. YOU HAVE TAKEN UP SPACE ON THE POSTER SHELF.

Noelle said...

Let her out!

Dragona Pine said...

Eat the rope and let her out. Then throw cheese at your brother.

Star Inkbright said...

@Dragona: LOL!

And, thank you. :) Sorry, I lose track of who knows I was away and who doesn't.

*waves at many open tabs* I'll read it when I've dealt with some of these. :)

And, I'm pretty sure fewer tahn six people read my blog. XD Although, that's only waht I deserve, seeing as how I only post once in a blue moon. :P
Hmm. I must write more.

Er . . . *tries to remember what I was going to say* *can't*

Well, let's just pretend I said it. *nods*

#ChaseForBookNine

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Spider.....

[Hides]

[Still not really here]

[Hugs Star]

I made a weird spider-related discovery inside my head, but still...

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

Wow. There's 130 posters to choose from. Most are £3.99 with no P&P so yay!

*starts choosing the ones he wants*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Hello! Hello! Your favourite halfling enthusiast hAs returned! Huzzah!

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

Hey Trip! How are you?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Star! I haven't read you in ages! *hugs for an amount of time that is just shorter than awkward*

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

I am, fine thank you Dragona!

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

And how are you?

#ChaseForBook9

Alastair Cruciatus said...

I went to a fair yesterday, and they had an airbrush tee shirt stand, and one of the designs had the name Hunter on it, and I got really excited! I also got Loki's Army engraved in a dogtag! And there was this German comedy performer there, and he was going to do this trick where he juggles a sword, a plunger, and a bowling pin on top of a unicycle, and he asked if we would like to see him sing the sound of music and light his hair on fire at the same time- and it was kind of a sarcastic question, but everybody in the audience screamed yes, so he said he'd do it. He asked somebody for a lighter and got the crowd to sing "doe, a deer, a female deer, etc.", and started to light his hair on fire, and I was laughing hysterically because it seemed like such a creepy cult-ish thing; it was literally a crowd of peope singing softly in unison while a guy lit himself on fire. And then he stopped before he actually lit himself on fire and commented on how twisted that was, and was like, "All the little children (there were a bunch in the front) were saying 'no, don't do it' and the adults said, 'shh, let it burn'". And that was actually happening, and I just laughed so hard. XD

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

I'm fine thank you. ^^

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*jumps in slow motion, catching cheese with mouth, then proceeding to eat it*

#ChaseForBook9

Star Inkbright said...

Ah, she got out.

Apprently she had to reach through the doors and untie to rope, but my brother kept banging the door shut on her hand.

TRIP! :) Hi! Yeah, I was on holiday.

@Fabi: SPIDERS! My sister bought a rubber spider on holiday, and she holds it from a string and bounces it up and down and it's really creepy and when she does it on your leg it's ARGH, and I'm not even generally SCARED of spiders . . . :P

Well, I'm scared of them crawling in my mouth when I'm asleep.
But I don't think that counts.

ANd, spagetti art sounds cool!

And, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF GONE????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

And, Dragona, my brother likes cheese and I don't. He would eat the cheese. I would be disgusted at having to hold the cheese. Fail. :P

(Okay, I like some cheese.)

And, you people are all so nice. I wouldn't have gone and let my sister out. I DO NOT WISH TO BE INVOLVED IN THESE BATTLES. :P

#ChaseForBookNine

Alastair Cruciatus said...

msd

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

I would call you mad Ari, if I wouldn't have done the exact same thing! :p

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Hello, dear!

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

And of course, all three spiders have to be in my room. They couldn't go bother Mom or Dad or Nel for once, oh no.

If I'm not on by three or so, assume the spiders have eaten me.

#ChaseForBook9

Star Inkbright said...

@Aretha: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FOR HUNTER-NESS! :) :) :) :) :)

And, THAT PERSON SOUNDS COOL.

Hahaha, if Hunter or Ez set their hair on fire they clould just grow it back as it burnt. I think that's cheating. :P

#ChaseForBookNine

Star Inkbright said...

Gah, I can't playlist because my sister's sitting here untangling my string (you know, the string I use for string art . . .)

Annoyingness.

#ChaseForBookNine

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

I'm my family's anointed spider killer. I know the best techniques and also am awesome. *puts on some glasses, then crushes a spider crawling up his arm*

#ChaseForBook9

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

I'm not really scared of spiders themselves, I'm just using them as a metaphor or a channel or something at this point. It's hard to explain.

It was really really hard to put down, and... Thought-provoking.

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

I have the third Department 19 book. Haven't read it yet since I'm reading a book called Stone - which is good.

It's set in the future and it's about a woman called Ae who is the only criminal in the galaxy because all the rest of it has been wiped out and she was kept in a VERY high security prison - in the middle of a star.
And she was 'executed' - by having these nanomite things that everyone has in their blood taken out. That left her less resistant to disease, injury and also stopped her being emotionally stable. And she was like the only person in the galaxy who DIDN'T have them.
Then she was 'employed' by an unknown group of people to kill the human population of an entire planet. And she has to figure out who they are and why they want her to kill 80 million people. And if she doesn't do it she'll be returned the prison and die there.

It's a good book.

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Battle lines is a really good book. It's one of those you don't put down until it's done.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Hmm.. lunch is in about 25 minutes...

Has anyone heard from Em? She hasn't emailed

Dragona Pine said...

Trip, I am also very good in killing spiders. I have notebook full of cool weapons to use.

So far my top ten list goes like this:


1. (the best) VACUUM CLEANER. HELL YEAH.

2. Slipper.

3. Spatula (surprisingly effective).

4. Air rifle (only recommended when outside).

5. A jug, which you then fill with deodorant (suffocates the spider, I guess - but it works).

6. A tissue. That you then throw on a fire.

7. Magazines.

8. Water bottles (squish)

9. A sock (surprisingly effective if you squish them).

10. A foot (stand on them).




Or, if you are in a position to do so and have the appropriate equipment - RPG.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

No, I haven't... I hope she's okay...

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

I hope I wasn't too late. I don't know if it got into her system. I don't ever want her to do that again. Hell, i don't want to do that again

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

No, I think Zaf really pissed her off.

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Wait, did I miss something?

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Em tried to overdose,Trip

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Oh...

#ChaseForBook9

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

I hope so, too, Adra...

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

I'm going insane here.

EM.

EMAIL ME

Star Inkbright said...

I JUST READ THE THREE DEPARTMENT 19S!

No offense to anyone, but I found them a bit boring.

Like all books, however, they had good aspects and bad aspects, so they did have good aspects, but . . . meh.

#ChaseForBookNine

Noelle said...

Also, the bar was raided last night

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Life is.... too real sometimes.

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

What? By who? What did they take?

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

You don't say.

*hugs Em, wherever she is* I'm really temped to check the news... Just in case.

Okay I need to stop thinking about this in class omfg I'm going to cry again

EM

EMAIL

Noelle said...

Jubi, Zaf, and Rose... A ton of tumblesoz... I warned Zaf not to drink too much. It was crazy. And loud. An annoying

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Wait, so they stole it then drank it? Or drank it then stole stuff? Or they were taken?

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

I personally like the books. I have read Dracula and understand everything and yeah. It's like a continuation from Bram Stoker's book, for me. It's like many years AFTER Dracula and I think Will Hill designed it to be read that way. I like the characters and most of all I like the helmets and weapons. But the storyline is good and yes there are some bad aspects - such as the fact the vampires are INCREDIBLY weak. It's like they're super-strong, super-fast, sun-fearing, night-loving creatures. That I like. But then half of the time they don't even try and use those skills. A real vampire would be armed to the teeth with machine guns and pistols and god knows what. They wouldn't run around unarmed and practically waiting to be shot through the heart. But I guess it's the same with all vampire books and stuff like that. They're always too weak.

Noelle said...

I don't know what happened exactly, I only heard.. But all I know was that your stock is a bit lower today?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

No, because I get all my stock from my magical gnome wheelbarrow. I keep some of it out to deter thieves and for convenience. My "stock" is fine.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*shrugs, jumping from her nook out into the 'home base' clearing*
Eh. I'm just saying it as I heard

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Well, you have to remember Dragona, that the vampires expecting black light to come for them see themselves as superior in every way to humans, and would not sully their superiority by using their weapons.

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Well, as reward they'll all get catastrophic hangovers. *laughs*

#ChaseFprBook9

Noelle said...

Hah. It's all about moderation... Speaking of which- could I have half a class of red, maybe?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Of course! What vine?

#ChaseFprBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Hello Eden! Would you like a drink?

#ChaseForBoom9

Noelle said...

Eden! Hi! It has been forever!

And it doesn't matter

Star Inkbright said...

But Dragona, half the vampires don't knwo fo the existance of Blacklight, and would see no reason to be armed beacuse of that. Also, some of the time they'll be taken my surprise.

LOL, I took eleven books on holiday with me and ten of them involved vampires. For nine of them, the sole focus was on vampires.

And, ARE they always too weak? I don't think so, especially. However, you may be right and I just can't see it.

And, one thing is, I don't especially get the point of the T-Bones. Because, I'm sure if you shot a Department 19 vampire in the heart, it would destroy said heart. So they might as well just use guns. Unless the T-Bones are easier to aim, and I judging from the way Jamie can apparently fire them bang on without any training, I think they must be easy to aim. Idk. I think I'm tlaking myself in circles here.

#ChaseForBOokNine

Uilliam Kinsella said...

Marlborough Sauvignon blanc.
( my dad is very interested in wine and vineyards in France his favourite one is his screensaver.)

Maralie Lily Charm said...

ZERRIE

ZERRIE

ZERRIE

ZERRIE

ZERRIE

ZERRIE

ZERRIE

I LOVE ZERRIE

ENGAGED

GETTING MARRIED
OMFG

HOW

DID

THIS

HAPPEN

PERRIE TRIED OUT FOR THE X FACTOR SO HER MUM WOULD BUY HER AN IPHONE AND SHE ENDED YOU BEING IN THE BIGGEST GIRL GROUP IN THE WORLD AND GETTING ENGAGED TO ZAYN MALIK

somebody hold me

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

Star, I think unless the heart is COMPLETELY destroyed nothing would happen - they'd just heal. So the T-Bone would completely destroy it because it's well... so big. ^^

Maralie Lily Charm said...

*UP

ZERRIE


MDWF. NIP NUOEQF. UOWR. HU HUODVEQ. MKCS Q NOIFVE UOFVNHU FOTH5bgrmip jiNKICF JIPV WR JIPV RV

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Very good. Two Marlborough Sauvingnon Blancs. *walks back into the bar* Wait, Sauvingon Blanc is wight. Damn.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Mara.
Mara.
*hands her a paper bag*

Uilliam Kinsella said...

Hello to you to Mara : )

Star Inkbright said...

@Dragomna: Ah.

Okay.

*nods*

Alright, I get it now.

They were good books. I just know books better than them. :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Hello Mara! Drink?

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*returns from the bar, two bottles in hand, two glasses in the other*

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*uses energy to pour the wine, than give them to Eden and Adra*

#ChaseForBook9

Dragona Pine said...

Star, don't worry. I'm not offended. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I won't get annoyed or anything even if someone said "Mass Effect is the shittiest piece of crap ever" *shrugs* ^^

Uilliam Kinsella said...

Exactly I only have red when I'm having a meal.
( another bit of advice from my dad never drink red without a meal because you'll spill it over you're clothes rather than a table )

Noelle said...

*takes the glass, handing him the money*
*sips it, nodding* So, how was your day?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Fine, fine. Took a day off, milled around, read my new books.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*shrugs* I find them to be dryer than red wines. More flavour.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

I'm just ghosting right now, so I thought I'd stop ghosting and say hi. No need to acknowledge my saying hi by saying hi back, I'll just jump into the conversation when I feel like it.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

A day off? How unexpected? Is this because of your recent arrest?

Noelle said...

Jesus Christ

Star Inkbright said...

@Dragona: *laughs* You're better than me then. If anyone insults anything I really like I'll rant at them until I can convince myself to give up. :P

And, Mass Effect isn't the shittiest piece of crap ever. I haven't played the game, but I've heard about it from you, and I already know a lot of things worse than it. :)

@Maraness: *hugs* YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY FOR ENGAGEMENTNESS! :)

I already said congrats about it, so this time I'll say CONGRATULATIONS. CONGRATULATIONS, Zerrie! :)

#CHaseForBOokNine

Uilliam Kinsella said...

*Hands trip a fist sized clump of gold *
that should be sufficient.
* rolls glass in hand before smelling it *
Nice
*sips*

Maralie Lily Charm said...

*hyperventilates*

oh... my... god...

Zerriezerriezerriezerriezerriezerriezerriezerrie

*sobs*

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Right..

I'll dedicate to Emerald Melody- who is my best friend, my sister, and family. I hope she is okay and iF SHE ISN"T I AM GOING TO HAVE WORDS WITH HER.
*grumbles*
*raises glass* Hear hear

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*hugs Mara* I'm so happy for you! And Zerrie! And actually, I'm going to go now. Bye everyone! (Don't feel a need to say bye to me, either.)

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*hands Mara another paper bag*

Noelle said...

Bye, Ari

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Judging by the current price of gold, it should be.

No, also it was a kill, not an arrest. A shame really. I just needed a break from the intensive work I was at. I'll be back at it tomorrow.

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Bye Ari!

#ChaseForBook9

Mary Contrary said...

I was dressed for success
But success it never comes
And I'm the only one who laughs
At your jokes when they are so bad
And your jokes are always bad
But they're not as bad as this


Pavement
'Here'

Hello! :)

#ChaseForBook9

Uilliam Kinsella said...

Ari ( I know you're gone now but anyway)
My Sheldon cooper like sense of judgement puts me at an impass, common courtesy says I should say goodbye but you told me not to.
* grabs hair*

Noelle said...

*takes another sip* As I suspected. What were the charges again?

Maralie Lily Charm said...

*hugs everyone*

ZERRIE

*screams*

*runs around*

ZERRIE

*breathes into paper bag*

*bag explodes*

ZERRIE IS PER-FECT

ZERRIE *cries hysterically*

#ChaseForBook9

Star Inkbright said...

I really hope she's okay too . . . It's getting hard for me to remember what happened now and what happened in the old comments, so I thought it had happened before until Adra mentioned it now (oops), which is why I didn't mention it, but . . . :/

I hope she's okay.

They're no point saying anything more when she isn't reading it, I don't think . . . :/

#ChaseForBOokNine

Noelle said...

OH, I'm confident she is. She's always ghosting.

Mara oh my God breathe

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Um, human trafficking, murder, facilitating murder, attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, kidnapping and assault on a sanctuary agent.

#ChaseForBook9

Star Inkbright said...

TAIAAAAAAAAAAAAA! :)

#ChaseForBookNine

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Well Em, if you are there, I'm glad you're all right. *higs the air in random places, hoping to hug Em*

#ChaseForBook9

Mary Contrary said...

*hugs Mara back* YAY! :)

Great ded, Adra, though I don't know the circumstances.
I hope Em's doing okay, whatever it is.

STARNESS!! *tacklehugs* HEMINGWAY! :)

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

Wow...
That's a lot. Ew. Any casualties on our side?

Maralie Lily Charm said...

ZERRIE

ZERRIE

ZAYN AND PERRIE

18/8/13

ANJNFJDV MKP DAMKGRA KPNGRW MIPH NMHENHERMKPHTW MPTHE. MTHI PENHT IPHE H SR MIP G MIPSFG. MIWGR RNGRW

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Three tartan cleavers, five regular and two enforcers. It wasn't a cheap victory, but you take one when you get one.

#ChaseForBook9

Mary Contrary said...

And all the sterile striking it
Defends an empty dock you cast away
And rain upon the forehead
Where the mist's for hire if it's
Just too clear


Hang on...

I've been putting off changing back from dinosaurness for about a week, now. :P

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

*throws a pickle at Mara*

Calm down....

#ChaseFoeBook9

Noelle said...

It could have been worse, although that's unfortunate.
*her phone rings and she walks away*

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