Thank you.
I exchanged a few tweets with her a few weeks ago, then visited her twitter page. I figured if she was half as funny in her book as she is on twitter, it'd be a book worth reading. So I bought it, and I've just finished it.
My Review of Geek Girl
Geek Girl is a book about a girl who is a geek. There are no ninjas in it. Virtually no one dies. There are two haircuts (one planned, one not). There are bizarre characters. There is one tremendously awful bully that makes you want to punch the page. There are clothes and shoes.
And DESPITE all the lack of bloodshed... this book is brilliant.
Harriet is 15 years old. She's a geek. She likes facts and figures and doing her homework. She's not exactly popular in school. She's just... weird. Her mind works in unusual ways. When she's plucked from her life and told she's going to be a model she thinks everything is going to get better— she's going to change and suddenly be cool and have friends...
There are lines in this book that will make you laugh out loud. There are jokes. One liners. Gags. Set ups and payoffs. It may deal with popularity (or lack of same), and it may deal with bullying, and insecurity, and it may play with the myth of metamorphosis... but even when Harriet is at her most vulnerable, she is never less than hilarious.
If it helps, you can think of Harriet as the younger sister to Clarabelle, in the Skulduggery books. She is, literally, THAT weird. And THAT loveable.
I would rate this book eight fish out of eight.
But please, let's not mention how much Holly fancies me. It's just... it's embarrassing.
4,994 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 801 – 1000 of 4994 Newer› Newest»Looks like you got your wish, then, Ember.
#ChaseForBook9
Deacon and YW: SHUT UP!
Adra: NO!
:D I am so happy right now
I haven't gotten first in such a long time!!
[Laughs]
#ChaseForBook9
*Giggles at Adra*
Awesome!!! I bet she won't tell us her name!! She's too scared!!! She's scared of teenagers!!
(I'm thinking half conventional, half wacko. So maybe Tanith/Ghastly, Skulduggery/Val, Finbar/China, Sanguine/Clarabelle, Thrasher/Scorn, and Ravel/Mist (which is one of my OTPs. And then Scapegrace can be this creepy old pedophile who joins them.)
Her name's Sparky. I've dubbed her that.
(Sounds good, Ember. Especially Sanguine/Clarabelle.)
#ChaseForBook9
*walks in circles around Deacon and Sparky*
Hmmmmmmmm
(One of my favourite fics is a Sanguine/Clarabelle fic.)
(OH MY GOD I JUST HAD AN IDEA
WHAT IF I NAMED THE CHILDREN AFTER YOU GUYS????????)
And now I must depart!
[Waves]
#ChaseForBook9
*young woman growls*
What are you circling for?
I'm none of your business!
NONONONONO TELL ME FIRST WHOSE CHILD DO YOU WANT TO BE
HOLY LLAMAS EMBER THAT THINGY THAT YOU POSTED EARLIER...!!! D:
(Talk: BYE FABI!)
And when I'm five feet away, I live to observe. Problem?
(i know right! That was from Malicha, then Star, then me... it's like a chain...
whose child do you want to be, Jubi?)
*frowns* What do you mean?
Like I said before lady, I'm not any of your business.
*steps forward* Of course it is, Sparks!
Sparks: Get out of my face!
*Deacon leans up against a tree with arms folded*
Deacon: I wouldn't push her Adra, she has a worst temper then a werewolf.
I'm not pushing her. It's her own fault she can't respect my opinions.
*Whimpers loudly and starts crying*
I had to read about Jeff the Killer! Didn't I!! And then I had to see the picture!! I'm so freaking scared right now!!! I'm never sleeping again!!!
Oh my god Death. I'm so sorry... D:
no one should EVER have to go through that... *Shivers*
Okay, I need to get the courage to get out of bed right now... I'm too scared he's under my bed!!!
*Leaves*
FUCK YOU ROSE
NO
NO
NO
I DID NOT NEED THAT
I'm writing a fanfic, and I'm going to name the children of some of the characters after you guys. So do you want to be the child of: Tanith/Ghastly, Skulduggery/Val, Finbar/China, Sanguine/Clarabelle, Thrasher/Scorn, or Ravel/Mist?
*teleports in with Aretha* Would anyone be so kind as to inform me of what has transpired in our absence?
#ChaseForBook9
ooh...
those are some very... interesting... pairings...
but DEFINITELY sanguine and clarabelle xD
*sighs* I told you not to stay, didn't I? Go. *swats at Niccolo* Shoo.
#ChaseForBook9
Deacon: Calm down, okay. Adra is just being Adra. She was a pro-Drew before you knew him
*Sparks still growls but stays still*
*folds her arms* DAS RIGHT BIYITCH
My sister just said that Jeff is gonna kill me!!!
Sparks: OH THATS FUCKING IT!
*charges towards Adra. Sparks flying from her mouth. Deacon grabs her at the last minute*
Deacon: Knock it off!!
Hey Ari! Whose child do you want to be? Your choices are: Tanith/Ghastly, Skulduggery/Val, Finbar/China, Thrasher/Scorn, or Ravel/Mist.
*speaks in Aretha's mind* I'm fine, honestly. When have either of us ever been so cautious, anyway?
*out loud* Are there any more current impending issues?
#ChaseForBook9
*throws her head back, laughing*
What's your power? Do you shoot fireworks from your mouth?
THIS GIRL IS ON FIYAAAAAAHHHH
Oh, and Deathy is scared so bad!!!
Deacon: Adra... there's something you should know about her.
*Sparks pushes Deacon away*
*Fire flies out of Sparks' mouth, aimed at Adra"
Sparks: Hows that for fireworks bitch!
*ducks* Oooooh Sparky's got a flame!
What'd you do? Swallow a flamethrower?
Talking: Ooh! Can I pick Skulduggery/Val? I ship it so hard!!!!
Death, if somebody comes to kill you, I will personally board the next flight to Australia, track him down, rip his eyes out of his skull, and skin him slowly with my teeth. And then tie his organs into knots and shove them down his throat, and then I will tear chunks of his throat out with my mouth until there's nothing left. And I don't care who it is or what they can do. Do you understand? So don't get scared.
#ChaseForBook9
*grins* Just calm down there, Smaug.
Talk: Wow Aretha... You're terrifying
Ari. I would get scared of YOU XD
And yeah, you can be Skul/Val's daughter.
Ari, were talking about JEFF THE KILLER!!! He can tell you to go to sleep and you will have to!!!! ... Even though that is mildly reassuring...
*Sparks growls, her teeth grinding*
*Deacon steps in between her and Adra*
Deacon: Don't push her.
*Grins* You know, I'm kind of feeling in the mood to hit someone. IN fact, I'm surprised you're on two legs, what with that infection you have there
[Returns, repetitively stabbing a clipboard of papers]
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: I'm actually serious, though. I've been taking Krav Maga for 4 years, and I know how to hurt a person, and I am not above biting and eye gauging. And if somebody attacked anyone I cared about... No matter who they were... That's what I would do. I am being perfectly serious. I would.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: I know. That's what makes it scary
*Purses lips and hides smile*
Thanks Ari, that makes me feel a lot better... Yet being murdered would hurt...
Talking: Then I won't give him time to tell me anything. Attack on sight- do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars. It's hard to speak if you're choking on your own blood because I ripped your throat out with my teeth. Seriously, I don't care what this guy can do. I would kill him. You can calm down.
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah, definitely scary Ari.
#ChaseForBook9
Deacon: So am I Adra but I have to keep you girls from having the fur fly.
*Sparks grit teeth*
Sparks: I'll fucking kill her!
*waves* Hey dearie!
Oh.
And I don't have fur, fyi
Talking: Yeah, ok, I think you get the idea, so I'm going to try to calm down now...
Also, could somebody please tell me what's currently going on in this roleplay?
#ChaseForBook9
I don't know, sorry, I'm not in it. Adra and Sparks don't seem to like each other, however.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Yeah, I went back and read all the comments, but still couldn't quite figure out what's going on, other than Adra, Sparks, and Deacon seem to be at each others' throats.
#ChaseForBook9
*falls out of tree*
Owww!!!! F**
*coughs up blood*
Deacon: I am not at anyone's throat. I am trying to prevent bloodshed for once because a very unstable temper is being pushed to it's limit.
Zaf! *runs over* What just happened?!
#ChaseForBook9
SEE EVEN YOU ADMIT IT!
She's crazy *pokes her tongue out at her*
I fell from my tree and this very sharp stone is now piercing my stomach
Talking: lovely entrance in eh?
Adra, maybe you should stop insulting her... It's just egging her on...
#ChaseForBook9
*sighs* *walks over to Zafira, places hand on shoulder, and heals* Try to avoid falling on rocks, will you?
#ChaseForBook9
*sighs*
Fineeeee *sits on the floor*
Talking: *sighs* How do you save a broken soul?
#ChaseForBook9
I think maybe I should go...
Oh, and I have a new code. [Laughs evilly]
7-16-11-34-1-26-39-18-6-10-14-27-15-32-4-17-7-43-22-12-3-35-1-33-7-25-10-42-15-34-40-13-6-32!
#ChaseForBook9
Of course Niccolo *sits up* I asked Alastair he basically gave me the finger so I'll ask you...is there any chance you would maybe help me with my hand to hand combat? You seem pretty good and I trust you not to kill me
Talk: I don't know, but I think with support... Mostly support and (later on) a good coach
Hey, you know, we could be using this time to celebrate. Like, weren't we all complaining earlier that we never have time to actually enjoy our victories? We could be doing that now.
#ChaseForBook9
That reminds me. I made dinner while yous guys were gone
And there's a huge dinner back at Trip
s bar
Alexis: But it isn't a victory...Daddy isn't with us...*is ready to cry*
*Eyes widen as she remembers what it was like to feel that* *to herself* Damn...
*Is very proud of self*
I just went outside and fed my birds without running in fear!!! Thanks Ari!! *Hugs*
*Looks at Zaffy* Silly Zaffy... *Shakes head*
Uh oh... *Walks backwards away from Niccolò*
It'll be difficult- Aretha can attest to that- and if you ask me to train you the way I trained her, you're likely to end up on the verge of death on a regular basis. But if you'd like me to anyway, I will.
#ChaseForBook9
*Bites lip and hugs Alexis*
It's okay, darling. I lost my mother when I was three.
*Hugs tighter*
Niccolo I have my life threatened everyday. So yes I would like you to train me.
Talking: Can... Can I just ask- ARE WE ALL ORPHANS? OMG WE'RE ALL DRAMATIC LITTLE SHITS
Alexis: *hugs Death crying* Mister Niccolo told Mommy he would bring Daddy back...but I don't know if he will
*covers her mouth to keep the sounds from escaping, as she slinks back into the shadows*
*Sparks looks at Deacon*
Sparks: Can we go now please? All this mushy boo hoo shite is giving me a headache!
*Deacon smiles*
Zafira, if you can tell me where his body is, I can bring him back for you.
#ChaseForBook9
Oh, yeah, Zaf, I actually have nearly died on many occasions... I would have if Niccolo wasn't constantly healing me. And the idea is to feel pain, so you pretty much just have to fight through broken bones and snapped tendons. But it makes you pretty great at fighting!
Talking: Anytime, sister. :)
(sorry all these comments are so late- I just had to go and fix my internet box. EW.)
#ChaseForBook9
The Sanctuary *grabs shoulder* you need me to get in the Sanctaury
*Strokes Alexis' hair*
He brought back the love of my life when he was murdered. He can with Ren's power.
Alexis: *is calming slightly but still upset* you have a strange accent...are you from Australia?
Talking: Well, let's see... I had pretty much the perfect family until a month or two ago, and, um, I'd really prefer not to go into the details of that... Like, I really wouldn't...
Niccolo also had his family growing up (except his father, who died when he was fairly young) but then lost his whole family in one sweep, pretty much the same way I did... Actually, I never even realized the parallel there, but there is a huge parallel! Wow! I honestly never noticed. 0.0
#ChaseForBook9
*teleports self and Zafira to Sanctuary* Was I correct in assuming that you meant this one, in Manhattan?
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Zaf well i finally got it: Her parents were from Ireland she lived there until age 5 when they moved to America. They lived in a small magical community until she actually reached the Surge around the end of the Mevolent War. She helped out a bit in the war and then took on a career in the Sanctuary and became Grand Mage. Parents still alive siblings murdered
*Sparks set a tree on fire*
Sparks: Right, now that the whingy bitch is gone. Can I please have a hostage to help get rid of that green thing of him.
You have 3 seconds.
*eyes widen* What
Correct Niccolo. *takes to the Medical Bay where a few bodies are* Here the bed in front of us has Javier he was stabbed in the heart
*Taps Alexis' nose lightly*
Yep, I am. You have a funny one too! Have you ever seen a kangaroo? Or a koala? Or a quoll? I've always wanted a pet quoll!
What? No! No one gets to take hostages. Calm. Down.
#ChaseForBook9
*places hand over sheet, stands quietly for a few minutes*
#ChaseForBook9
Alexis: I saw kangaroo and a koala! Whats a quoll? Talking: I seriously dunno either
*waits quietly ready to help him if needed*
It's a tiny little possum-like carnivore. They are gorgeous and found in the bush! And they're fluffy!!
*Sparks looks at Aretha*
Well then fix him!
*the green rash spreads over Deacon's shoulders and neck*
Deacon: Leave it! We can find someone else.
*Sparks growls at Deacon*
Sparks: NO! You came here for help from them, you'll get it from them!
Alexis: like a bunny!!! I want a bunny we have a kitty and a puppy named Coco!
Listen to him, Sparky....
*steps back from body* I've healed the broken tissue and arteries, so he should be fine once we retrieve his soul. But if I am to retrieve it, I need to be able to recognize him. I am not familiar with his voice, so I'm afraid I must ask you to come with me for this. *offers her his arm* It will be dark and disorienting, but whatever you do, you must not let go of me, or you will be lost to this world. Can you manage that?
#ChaseForBook9
*Grins*
That used to be my puppy! She's cute, isn't she?
*fire starts to gather in Sparks' mouth again*
I'm sorry, sparks. but I can't. No one here can. Taking hostages won't fix that.
#ChaseForBook9
*picks up a bottle of water and throws it at her*
Oops
*takes his arm firmly* i can manage Niccolo. I'm a Necromancer i'm pretty used to cold and cramped things. Lets do this.
*Pushes Alexis onto tree branch*
Stay there sweetie!
*Runs in front of Sparky*
Don't you dare!
*Punches her jaw to close her mouth*
Alexis: oh yeah! She's so cute!
Alexis: *sits in dynamite tree giggling*
*Deacon's shadows grabs Sparks, causing the rash to spread again*
*him and Sparks shadows away*
(Talking: Sorry guys, I need to go to bed. It's so late! Night!!)
Talking: pfft Em! 3am isnt late JK!
*Walks back to Alexis and makes gravity weaker*
Jump! I'll catch you!!
Alexis: *jumps down* WEEE
*walks back to the bar, now empty* *sighs* Well, I guess we can just save this food and head it up later.
*begins to put it away*
*Makes zero gravity around Alexis*
Now you get to float!!!
All right. *quickly pulls knife out of coat with other arm, makes a small light scratch on Zafira's hand, then his own, mixing the blood* Apologies- it had to be done. *moments later both are in pitch darkness* You'll have to call him here.
#ChaseForBook9
If you leave it out for, maybe, another 15 minutes or so, I think they should be back. Trip's not here, though, and apparently he won't be back till Sunday, so if you want to wait for him, go ahead.
#ChaseForBook9
*finishes putting the food back and walks outside with about A LOT of sleeping bags (hopefully that's what they're called in other countries and that I'm not saying something bad)
*places them around the fire, and lights the fire with a match* There we go....
*writes a note for when the other get back*
Food is in the fridge- help yourself
*grits teeth but is determined* Javier Fyreheart! Where are you?!
Javier: *comes toward voice* Zaffy?! Where are you?
JAVIER COME HERE!!'
Javier: *stands in front of* Zaf?
Javier...*it takes all self control to not run to him*
Alexis: *giggles* sooo fuun!!
Javier, take her hand. Zafira, tell me when you have him.
#ChaseForBook9
*grabs two flowers from a vase and portals away*
Javier: *takes Zaf's hand*
*holds his hand* I have him Niccolo
Talking: Ok, now that I've processed the information from earlier, why is it exactly that you have a crush on Niccolò IC? (directed at Zafira)
Roleplaying: *joins Adra in front of fire* Some day, huh?
#ChaseForBook9
*Joins Alexis in mid-air*
And think, I get to do this whenever I'm bored!
*Does backflip*
I'm the only one in the world that I know of who can do this!!
Alexis: so cool *is floating happily*
Talking: why? Because something about him...his manner and his appearence it's hard to explain
*world comes to color again* *Javier wakes up on the bed* *turns and takes a few steps away, then teleports away, leaving Zafira and Javier together*
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Aretha, I'm not there lol
[Echoes, whispers, paints and watches everyone]
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Oh! Yeah, sorry, I guess my eyes wanted to skip over that comment... Sorry... I'm still in the same place as Death and Alexis, then. *scolds eyes*
#ChaseForBook9
Javier oh hell did i just get brought back to life?
Yeah you did Javier
Javier: Alexis...where is she?
Blogland *helps up and shadow-walks us to Blogland*
Alexis: DADDY!!! *goes to and hugs*
*sits against tree*
Talking: Fabi! *hugs* Hi!
#ChaseForBook9
*teleports behind Aretha* *leans on nearby tree*
#ChaseForBook9
Hi Ari [hugs back]
If I'm here, I'm really distant.
#ChaseForBook9
(talking: Fabi? lol :3)
RP: *Steps out under the dark sky. It's an old battlefield* *sighs and walks around until she sees an old sword stabbed into the ground and two medical badges next to it. It's a totem to her parents*
*digs little holes in the ground in front of it, and places the flowers inside*
*half-smiles* Bye bro, sis... *salutes half-heartedly before turning away, back to where the portal was, wiping her eyes*
*jumps back to every one else* HELLOOOOOO
*turns to Niccolò* You've been doing a lot of leaning lately, haven't you? *frowns* Did the fever come back?
#ChaseForBook9
*Hugs Alexis*
Fun, eh? If you ever want to float, tell me, okay?
*skips forward* WHO WANTS TO EAT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SIX/SEVEN DAYS?
YAY *turns to get some food*
*Javier and Alexis go into the dynamite treehouse* ill get my reunion tonight...Hey Coco if you wanna train with me just tell me *bundles dynamite*
*eyes widen*
"I'll get my reunion tonight"
*gulps* Um....
*stares wearily at Aretha* I'm fine. You don't have to keep asking. You know what I'll say, anyway, so why bother?
*sighs* It would appear that we're all in one place again, and no one is dying.
#ChaseForBook9
*Jumps onto closest branch and sighs as self leans against trunk of tree* *Sighs and pulls on leg up while letting the other leg swing in the breeze*
*pops her head out of the kitchen* So, uh... We have everything. Whatchoo guys want?
I can arrange for death...*throws dynamite stick at Ari grinnjng*
Yes! I would love to eat, Adra!
*glances at Niccolò again* You just be quiet and stop doing so many favors.
#ChaseForBook9
*glares at Niccolo* I agree with Aretha, you need to save your energy.
*brings out a steaming hot plate of spaghetti, giving it to Aretha* there you go.
*calls* ROSE! WHAT CHU WANT, BITCH?
(bitch being a term of endearment)
Zaffy wants food!
Hey Adra, Zaf, Death.
#ChaseForBook9
*Shrugs*
Do you have carrot flavoured food? I don't like carrots... I like carrot flavoured food!
Talking: Hey Fabi!
*quickly teleports Aretha away* Zafira, please. I believe we have had more than enough excitement for one day.
#ChaseForBook9
I like carrots!
[Is not a rabbit in the roleplay, let me make that clear]
#ChaseForBook9
*Looks at Niccolò*
I'm so darn sorry about last time I say you. I mean the real you, not Alastair. If it wasn't for me- *Looks away* Alastair wouldn't have taken over...
*Looks at Fabi and waves sadly*
Yeah, EVERYONE GATHER ROUND THE CAMPFIRE.
Zaf, no dynamite or other weapons at the dinner table, please
*brings out carrot food for Rose* Your dinner
*laughs* oh no never Coco! NEVER *tackles playfully* whatever happened i think i lost my mind *starts laughing hysterically*
(OMG FABI LOL)
*glances gratefully at Niccolò*
What was that for, Zaf? What did I do to you?
Thanks, Adra! *looks to Niccolò again* You should eat something, too.
#ChaseForBook9
*pulls Zaf off Niccolo* That's creepy. Calm your pants. *shoves her back to the table* I got you some food
*glances at Niccolo* Yeah, what would you like?
We have everything?
*Sprins off branch like a cat and lands lightly in front of fire* *Stumbles and stops self from falling by fire* *Straightens up and flicks hair*
*moves away from Zafira*
#ChaseForBook9
Death, it was his choice.
[Waves back]
[Gathers round the campfire]
#ChaseForBook9
Hey, who wants to play Blogland Truth or Dare over dinner?
#ChaseForBook9
Fabi, food preferences?
Oh no....
*Looks at carrot food and puts "dog" ears on* If only Elliot were here... *Walks over to dinner table*
*sits and finally calms down*
Sorry Niccolo, my true name didn't much like you tampering with her so she tried to get out, I assure you Justaria can't get out
*eats empinadas*
*Puts hand up*
I'm for Blogland Truth or Dare!!
Death, you did nothing wrong. I beg you not to blame yourself. Fabienne is correct- that was entirely my decision. You never asked for anything. Now drop it before I feel the need to do something even more reckless to cheer you up.
#ChaseForBook9
I... I didn't give you empinadas...
*hits both Death and Niccolo*
DINNER.
Mm.. Salad?
Ooh, I'll play! :-)
#ChaseForBook9
Ok, Death! Truth or dare?
#ChaseForBook9
Then how did they end up...
Alexis: *giggles*
Alright i'll play truth or dare
Niccolò, I'm a regret magnet. I'll feel the need to be responsible for everything. *Sighs and smiles sadly* I'm an idiot. A complete and utter idiot.
Uh, Dare!
ROSE WHAT DID I TELL YOU.
DINNER
DIN-NER
*hands Fabi a salad of course*
And that leaves... *turns* Niccolo
You guys can count Niccolò in for truth or dare, too!
*glances at Niccolò* You were French for a while. What do French people like to eat?
#ChaseForBook9
Death, I dare you to be happy for the rest of the night! *looks very pleased with self* Ok, your turn now,
#ChaseForBook9
*Grins at Adra* Okay! Dinner! Nommy! Dinner!
Thanks, Adra. [eats salad]
#ChaseForBook9
Im in too as is Javier and Alexis
*Screws up face* It's midday here!!
*Sighs*
Zaffy, Truth or Dare?
Dare
Awesome, Zaf! Adra, are you in?
#ChaseForBook9
Of course, Fabi!
in a sec, Aretha!
*runs to the kitchen and gets the most French food she has... Which has been left to your imagination*
*shoves it in Niccolo's hands* Dinner. Eat.
I dare you to... *thinks* impersonate Alastair for the next five rounds!
Ah, I'm going down the street to get food for my little bro! I'll be back in a half-hour to an hour!
Oh, well. I suppose if you want, you can dare Effie, Anna, Mantha or one of my other characters. Though don't expect Leo to answer anything in a sensical way.
#ChaseForBook9
(Talking: I can't change my picture but i will change my name)
See you, Death.
Nice one! XD
#ChaseForBook9
*stands up suddenly*
OH SHIT SHIT
*runs into the kitchen and gets a can, poking several holes in it*
How could I have forgotten! Damn.
*runs around the small house and makes a portal, jumping through* *she appears a minute later*
All good.
FIRST
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