Thank you.
I exchanged a few tweets with her a few weeks ago, then visited her twitter page. I figured if she was half as funny in her book as she is on twitter, it'd be a book worth reading. So I bought it, and I've just finished it.
My Review of Geek Girl
Geek Girl is a book about a girl who is a geek. There are no ninjas in it. Virtually no one dies. There are two haircuts (one planned, one not). There are bizarre characters. There is one tremendously awful bully that makes you want to punch the page. There are clothes and shoes.
And DESPITE all the lack of bloodshed... this book is brilliant.
Harriet is 15 years old. She's a geek. She likes facts and figures and doing her homework. She's not exactly popular in school. She's just... weird. Her mind works in unusual ways. When she's plucked from her life and told she's going to be a model she thinks everything is going to get better— she's going to change and suddenly be cool and have friends...
There are lines in this book that will make you laugh out loud. There are jokes. One liners. Gags. Set ups and payoffs. It may deal with popularity (or lack of same), and it may deal with bullying, and insecurity, and it may play with the myth of metamorphosis... but even when Harriet is at her most vulnerable, she is never less than hilarious.
If it helps, you can think of Harriet as the younger sister to Clarabelle, in the Skulduggery books. She is, literally, THAT weird. And THAT loveable.
I would rate this book eight fish out of eight.
But please, let's not mention how much Holly fancies me. It's just... it's embarrassing.
4,994 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 2601 – 2800 of 4994 Newer› Newest»really!! i cannot do that seriously!! worship grass??
okay, granted... i have done it before... but... well, it was a dare, and i was allowed to smile then!!!
Oh. My.
I didn't ded the last page! D:
#ChaseforBook9
*points to Rose* GROVEL AT THE GRASS!
*mentally prepares sermon*
Holy Grass... Deliver us from evil. Hear our prayer!
*Kneels down to kiss the ground in front of the grass*
Eww! Snow! Keep those ants away from me!!!
Okay, tell me when to start doing my Sensitive stuff.
#ChaseForBook9
*puts grass on pedestal* I see no reason why you shouldn't, Adra, so long as we do this quickly. As I said before, I cannot be certain of how long the wall will last.
#ChaseForBook9
ALRIGHT, EVERYONE KNEEL BEFORE THE ALMIGHTY BLADE!
*gets on one knee*
I dedicate the last page to the most wonderful, ethereal, perfect blade of grass I have seen in a life time. Verily, it is a magnificent work of Nature's art, a champion of all things Eco-friendly and worthy of my best attempts at archaic language.
It is a marvelous blade of grass, a unique blade of grass not to be challenged in true and pure beauty.
[bows]
#ChaseforBook9
*Kneels in front of grass* *Raises arms slowly then lowers them* *Chants something in low voice*
*sigh*
here goes nothing....
oh, mighty grass
how much do we love thee?
we pray at your feet,
us your humble servants.
we are but meer plebs to your high majesty,
but we kiss the ground you live in,
we grovel at your roots!
Oh great and mighty grass, HEAR OUT PRAYERS! We pray to you out of spite, for we do not wish to stomp on thee whilst walking. Please, because you are so powerful and omniscient, give us the gift of Sanctity!
*the people repeat the word Sanctity*
Aye, that it is, an almighty blade that none shall poke fun at, lest the great and majestic blade deem them unworthy.
#ChaseforBook9
*Bites on tongue to stop from laughing* We all worship the mighty blade.
*kneels facing the pedestal* Sapphire, after everyone has been worshipping the grass for a few seconds would be the best time for that, I think.
*begins to recite poetry in latin at the blade of grass*
#CHaseForBook9
Oh Grass on pedestal,
Hallowed be thy... roots.
Your ants come,
Thy photosynthesis be done,
On this pedestal, as in heaven.
Give us this day our Ari back,
ANd forgive us for making an evil ghost possess you.
Lead us not unto... nettle,
But destroy Charlie!
Amen.
#ChaseForBook9
[Crumples to the floor again and groans]
Uh...
I am not worthy to glimpse the majestic blade, the epitome of power and beauty, the unequaled wonder.
#ChaseforBook9
OUR BLADE,
WHO ART ON THE GROUND
HALLOWED BY THY ROOTS
THY FIELDS COME
THY CHORES BEGUN
ON EARTH AS IT IS
IN GRASSITANIA.
Give us this floor,
our daily floor
and forgive us our mud tracks
as we forgive thy for making them
LEAD US NOT INTO A PUDDLE
BUT DELIVER US TO THE DRYNESS
AMEN
Talk: Just curious, is anyone else dying of laughter?
must we punish thee who eat thou kind?
yes.
we love thou so,
oh high and mighty master.
we wish to you now, oh mighty blade,
that you watch our lives and let us live,
for we love thou so.
*Hugs ribs trying not to laugh*
It is hurting my ribs as punishment for my sins! Fabi, your ded is a (well-written) glimpse at it's pure power!
#ChaseForBook9
AVE GLORIOSA IN NOMINE GRASS!
AVE GLORIOSE IN NOMINE GRASS!
AVE GLORIOSA IN NOMINE GRASS!
*its
[Curls in ball]
I [coughs] [Clears throat] I have no words! The amazement of this sovereign blade of grass is too much for me.
[faints from the epicness of the blade of grass]
Talk- No, I'm asleep.
#ChaseforBook9
HAIL TO THEE< OH GREAT AND POWERFUL BLADE!
Talking: Yep! Definitely! *wipes tears of laughter from eyes* I'll be lucky if I don't wake the whole sleeping house!
Saph, I'm leaving it to you to do your thingy whenever you're ready... Yeah. :)
#ChaseForBook9
Okay, I'm going to try this now before I start laughing and ruin everything.
*Sinks into a sitting position with legs crossed* This won't take long.
#ChaseForBook9
ALL HAIL THE MIGHTLY BLADE! MAY YOU NEVER BE RUN OVER BY A LAWNMOWER!
*Runs and finds watering can to keep tuft of grass alive*
BLADE BY BLADE
OH GRASS
FOR THESE THREE THINGS WE PRAY
TO SMELL YOU MORE CLEARLY
TO FEEL YOU MORE DEARLY
TO FALL IN YOU MORE NEARLY
BLADE BY BLADE
(i am seriously about to die he...)
oh mighty blade,
we pray to you,
that our sons and daughters be blesses,
that our sins be forgiven,
that our souls may rest.
(i am actually really goo at this...)
Thank you, oh blade, for providing the vegans and the vegetarians nourishment!
Talking: Goodnight, Fabi! *hugs*
#ChaseForBook9
(i cant believe i'm not laughing...)
we bow down to your mighty power, oh majestic blade!
Talk: night Fabs!
*Beins to sing in Gregorian Blade*
You sacrifice yourself to the animals so we can live. You provide us with oxygen. Existence is impossible without you, almighty Blade.
I'll make me a willow cabin at your gate
And call upon my soul upon the pedestal
Write loyal cantons of worshipful love
And sing them aloud, even in the dead of night
Halloo your name to the reverberant hills
And make the babbling gossip of the air
Cry out GRASS! GRASS! Oh, you should not rest
Between the elements of air and earth, but you should pity me.
#ChaseForBook9
{Bye Fabi!!}
(have to go!! BYE!)
*fades away, muttering about the majesty of the blade*
Talk- Sleep well Fabi! *hugs*
Ow. Aretha, you think WAY too much.
Charlie... Let go, Charlie. You have to. Don't resist Charlie... Listen to me. Yes, that's it. Just let go... one bit at a time... I know you Charlie. You want power. That’s how you died, isn’t it? Trying to reach for power you couldn’t have. I can give you that power Charlie. More than Aretha could even imagine…
He’s almost let go. Get ready…
*whispers* We're not supposed to eat it for communion, are we?
{Bye also Snowy!!}
Talk: Sorry for confusion.... I'm still sort of here, can't not be, but I'm not laughing because I'm asleep.
Also, Fabi fainted, so...yeah.
Maybe I am asleep.
But Adra and Ari are still awake...
Hmm...
#ChaseForBook9
Charles. You can do it. You can anything you want. All you have to do is let go.
He did it!
Gtg I'm sorry :( Bye
*Whispers back* I don't like eating grass... Or dirt... Or dirt flavoured Bertie Bots
*finishes latin poem*
O Glorious blade,
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to Time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
#ChaseForBook9
{Bye Sapphy!!!}
I'm a vegetarian... I'll take double the yummy portion
MY GRASS BLADES ARE NOTHING LIKE THE SUN
BLADES ARE FAR MORE GREEN THAN OTHERS GREEN
Talk: I did Shakespeare first, mark that. :-P
OMG GUYS I'M SEEING SHAKESPEARE PLAYS THREE (MAYBE FOUR!) DAYS IN A ROW!
#ChaseForBook9
*shadows come pouring out and into the air* *collapses on to ground*
#ChaseForBook9
*curls up in a ball*
[Mumbles]
Ari... I...
Oh, right, supreme grass.
[Collapses again]
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Fabi, if you're tired, don't feel pressured to stay up just because Adra and I are awake! But if you're going to be up anyway, then stay because we love you! *tacklehugs*
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: Yeah, Aretha and I don't think things through and get very little sleep
Talking: Should I write the next part with the shadow, or does somebody else want to do it?
#ChaseForBook9
*Continues worshipping blade of grass with a serene expression*
Talk: not me
(I don't care, whatever works!)
*grovels in its divine presence* AVE GLORIOSA IN NOMINE BLADE OF GRASS
Talking: [Rolls eyes] There's no 002-110-012-012-100-112-021 way I'll actually fall asleep. Roleplaying nonstop since I got home is all that's stopped me from panicking, tbh.
I'm just making up excuses.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Ok, I'll just do it then.
#ChaseForBook9
[Shrugs]
I could or I couldn't. 'Sup to you.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Roleplay since I woke up, basically.
*shadows move around in the air for a while, almost nervously* *shadows pause, then all flow eagerly into blade of grass*
Talking: Oh, Fabi, I'm sorry! *hugs*
#ChaseForBook9
Yeah, well I DIDN'T HAVE THAT OPTION. :-P
[Cuts off rant about stupid mustaches, coffee and other stuff I won't mention]
#ChaseForBook9
{{I've been RP-ing since I woke up and now it's four!!}}
Talking: I've been roleplaying nonstop since I finished tutoring, and a little before that, too.
#ChaseForBook9
*Talking:
Talking: It's okay, Ari... [Shrugs]
RP: [Sits up and mutters] Bye bye Charlie.
I'm so sorry...
[collapses again]
#ChaseForBook9
*terrifying wailing and groveling*
Talk: [also hugs back]
#ChaseForBook9
(was shadowing comments... and... lol!! okay, i really need to go now *hugs all* bye)
*speaks in everyone's mind* If we kill it now, will Charlie die with it, or will he just float back up?
#ChaseForBook9
I can throw him in the afterlife *in his head*
One way to find out!! *Shies away from grass and crawls backwards* If it does come back, I'll take a shot with a glare...
*in Adra's mind* Please do that, then. We cannot continue to worship this grass for the rest of our lives.
#ChaseForBook9
[Deep breath]
He still has them...
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Bye, Snow!
#ChaseForBook9
Most of them.
Never mind, they'll just come back.
#ChaseForBook9
*takes a clipping off the end of the grass, then tosses it into the portal, slamming it shut*
*hands the clipping to Fabi* So... I tried to get most of them...
*falls in a ball on the floor*
*in Fabienne's mind* Fabienne? Is something wrong?
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Oh, uh, a week from Thursday I will not be here just about all day, and I'll be sort of blaah for like the next week, I'll probably avoid Blogland or cling to it...hard to tell. Apologies in advance, though...
#ChaseForBook9
*Walks to Adra* Are you alright? What's wrong?*
*pouts* My arm hurttsssss
And I'm tired
And my feelings still hurt.
[Takes it experimentally]
Thanks...
[Grimaces] They're mixed with his.
[Sighs]
Niccolo, how do you stand having other people in your head?
#ChaseForBook9
[hugs Adra]
I'm really sorry...
#ChaseForBook9
Do you know how hard it is to open portals to the Afterlife?
S'not your fauly, Fabi....
*shakes her head and gets up, tumbling from the room* I need to go... *tumbles through a portal*
(Sorry...misread.)
#ChaseForBook9
*I can NOT see my keyboard holy mother of-)
*walks over to Aretha, picks up, and leans against wall so she isn't lying face-down on the ground* Your feelings are hurt? From what, exactly?
Fabienne, if some part of him is still inside you, I may be able to rid you of it... What part of him, exactly, is in you? A soul, name, consciousness?
#ChaseForBook9
*stops at the sword in the ground, and falls on her face, her head buried in her arms*
Talking: Don't apologize, Fabi! We love having you here! Sometimes I swear the whole point of this place is to just act as a big, 24-hour support system! *hugs again*
#ChaseForBook9
Just...memories. And if I focus on them, I can feel what he felt at the time, and hurt, betrayal, sadness... He was turning those to anger to feed the shadows. [Shivers] Not pleasant.
#ChaseForBook9
Oh, she's gone. Well, never mind the first two questions, then.
#ChaseForBook9
I can attempt to wall those off, if you like, but I can't guarantee it'll work perfectly.
#ChaseForBook9
*talks through her earpiece* Oi, I can still hear you
I have my own memories back, though, once I sort them out...
It's like a messy room.
#ChaseForBook9
I should be able to just sort them into different parts of my brain and not call on his memories and emotions, but that'll work even less perfectly.
[Considers whether to trust C.]
Fine.
[Sags back against wall]
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: Thanks, Ari. [hugs]
Today was basically the day they showed me everything that can possibly go wrong.
#ChaseForBook9
*laughs harshly* Ain't that the truth.
All right. *slowly enters Fabi's mind and begins to sort through memories, setting aside the ones that clearly aren't hers* *places wall between unfamiliar memories and the rest of Fabi's mind, then leaves again* Is that any better? *sits leaning against wall next to Aretha*
#ChaseForBook9
Bye bye ninth of June... [Waves]
#ChaseForBook9
*looks up from her arms and sighs, lightly touching the golden flower* Soon...
Yeah, thank you...
[Slips back into sleep]
Talk: And I really should go... I'll probably be back though...
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: Bye Fabi?)
*curls up next to the gravesite, sighing, and feeling the relaxing cool breeze*
Talk: Bye Fabi! *hugs*
I should probably give the if-I'm-gone-suddenly-I'm-probably-asleep warning right about now, even though I probably won't fall asleep for a while.
#ChaseForBook9
Really? I thought you'd already gone.. Zat's cool...
(What do we do now?)
Talking: I don't know... I should probably wake up, for one thing (which will happen any moment now, I just don't want to because I'm tired IC), and then... I don't know... We sit around a campfire and roast marshmallows?
#ChaseForBook9
Wait for me to return!!!! Mwahahaha!!
That is a brilliant idea, i'll start the fire.
*gets up on her knees, and with one last glance, looks at the sword. Shaking her head sadly, she jumps through the portal, arriving at Trip's bar*
*lights the firs and sits*
Talking: Hi Death! *hugs*
#ChaseForBook9
*looks at Aretha* I know you're awake. If you're tired, there are much better places to rest than the floor of a haunted prison.
#ChaseForBook9
*waves* heya Rose
*Waves* I skulled a cup of coffee!!!!!! *Giggles* Yummy!!! *Looks at Ari* You okay?
*yawns* Ok, fine. *is teleported to campfire with Niccolo*
#ChaseForBook9
Yep! I'm great! Just still kind of worn out from, you know... Tesla...
#ChaseForBook9
*tosses the marshmallows around*
*Starts walking in general direction of Blogland*
Walking?
Death can't teleport! She just walks. Of floats... Or steals random motorbikes...
*teleports to Death, offers hand* You don't have to walk all the way there.
#ChaseForBook9
*disappears into the house to get blanket, which she drapes over her shoulders*
*Smiles and takes Niccolò's hand* Thank you, walking all that way is a bit too far... *Grins*
*teleports back to campfire* Of course.
Well, now what shall we do?
#ChaseForBook9
We could have a feeling session
What exactly is that?
#ChaseForBook9
*Steps away and stumbles slightly* Thank you, Niccolò! And I'm not too sure... Lets go sit over with them for a while...
Oh... Little brother is making me play Minecraft again... I will be back!!
*shrugs* you say things you need to get off your chest. There can be a certain topic, everyone answers...
I usually feel better afterward
Talking: Bye Death! *hugs* Growl at your little brother for me, will you? ;p
#ChaseForBook9
Ok. I'm up for that. And I'm volunteering Niccolo for it, too. So that makes three of us, and then when Death comes back she can join in, I guess.
#ChaseForBook9
Right. *nods*
I don't know where to start...
Biggest fear, anyone?
Mm, good one. My biggest fear is people I care about suffering while I can't do anything about it. I'm never sure whether to count that, though, because it's more about other people than me, so my second worst fear is pitch darkness.
#ChaseForBook9
*nods* I feel you there, Niccolo?
For give me if this seems overly dramatic, but I would be lying if I said my worst fear was anything other than myself.
#ChaseForBook9
Not at all... Humans are terrifying creatures
Talk: Blaaah... [Can't sleep]
[Wakes up in the prison place still]
[Thrashes around, and then remembers the exit]
#ChaseForBook9
Adra? What's yours?
#ChaseForBook9
I guess I'm the most afraid of.... Being buried underground...
And being alone, I guess.
Talking: I'm sorry, Fabi... *hugs for the umpteenth time*
#ChaseForBook9
Alone how, exactly? If you don't mind me asking.
#ChaseForBook9
Talk: [hugs back]
Like I said, it's okay. Not really much you can do about it.
Anyone want to take the ded, or should I just do it?
#ChaseForBook9
Alone as in... Having no one to look after me when I'm sick or feeling down. Having no one to go back to.
(You can take it, if you want)
Next question. Aretha, you're up.
GAH!
I was about to answer something else, but KABOOM, so my worst fear is fire.
IT'S NOT STUPID, THOUGH. YOU TRY IT. [Glares at no one in particular]
#ChaseForBook9
I know, I know, no one asked me. Deal with it. :-P
#ChaseForBook9
Um... When was the last time you cried, and why?
#ChaseForBook9
*heh* Fabi, you first?
Talk: Okay...I'm dedicating, then. Again. Not really here, I guess.
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: Of course the questions apply to you! We just didn't really think you'd answer because you're technically somewhere else... You could always just magically appear, though. Or travel by map. The fire is nice and warm.
#ChaseForBook9
(ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US)
*do we mean in real life or RP?
(I'm assuming we're answering all the questions IC? Though my answer actually isn't different either way, just want to know for reference.) The last time I cried was while listening to Gaslight by Emilie Autumn. Just imagining what their lives were like.
#ChaseForBook9
Lasr time I cried... Was right before this outing, and it was because... I was scared
Scared of what?
#ChaseForBook9
*tucks her knees under her chin* Of being alone again.
Oh, I'm sorry... You're not alone, though, you know. You've got all of us- we're not going anywhere.
#ChaseForBook9
[manages to hug Adra all the way from outside the prison place]
[Uh, don't ask how I did that]
#ChaseForBook9
I dedicate this page to Aretha Tesla, because she deserves it. Ari, you're amazing.
And to Nikola Tesla, both the inventor and the ship. :-P
And to WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.
And Mycroft Holmes and his umbrella. And UMBRELLAS in general.
Little Mix :-)
MARA AND ONE DIRECTION.
ADRA.
DEATH.
EMBER.
ZAF.
STAR (and Hunter, who I don't think I've actually met, but oh well).
LUCY AND HER WRITING.
MANGO-CHERRY POPSICLES.
SAPH.
SNOW.
ARRA.
DAU.
EM.
CHEDDAR CHEESE.
CODES I CAN SHARE.
TRIP.
RHYDIAN.
DUCK.
MISSY.
ELD.
IENI.
Plot twists that make themselves.
My story which I've been referring to as IWADT (Idea without a decent title).
Sleep.
YOU. You're awesome!
And EVERY BLOGLANDIAN AND AWESOME PERSON IN THE KNOWN UNIVERSE, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE. [nods]
#ChaseForBook9
I'm gonna guess you both poofed.
Night again...
#ChaseForBook9
*Is back*
...Hello?
#ChaseForBook9
My comment died... I said Hi Lucy!!!
Hi Death!
#ChaseForBook9
How are you?
I'm good. C:
I'm watching Doctor Who and writing, atm. C:
How are you?
#ChaseForBook9
*wakes up*
*Waves* I'm super distant. I'm watching Balto
Cool. *waves*
Have you seen it before?
I don't even know what it us, sorry :S
Ah, it is a pretty old movie about sled dogs trying to bring back medicine to an Alaskan town. It used to be on a tape after the Swan Princess when I was little!!
Hahaha awwww :P
Okay, movie is over!!
Hai!
Okay, so... Where were we?
Feelings around the campfire xD
Hmmmm... It's not very often you wake up and see your last comment 10 spaces above where you come in...
Ah! *Nods and throws more wood and fire* Darn elemental a get to have fires whenever they want... I'm so envious!!
*Sits beside fire and warms hands*
I know, I have a massive headache atm.
*curls up next to he fire*
I keep getting stress related jaw aches... I don't know why but I do... *Pouts and opens bag of marshmallows* *Ofers some to Adra*
Oh, my dog says hi! She just tackled me and licked my iPod screen!!
*screams* HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERRIE!!!!!!!
HAPPY DIRECTIONER PRIDE DAY, EVERYONE!
And happy Directionerversary to me, I guess c:
HOW IS EVERYONE?:)
#ChaseForBook9
Talking: I'm up again!
#ChaseForBook9
*Hugs Mars* Happy Directionerversary Mara!!
*Groans* Okay, I have to play Minecraft again... *Waves*
Ari, I growled at my little brother for you and he roars back at you!!
(Is gone)
Talking: Hey, Mara. Happy (all of those things you just said) day!!
#ChaseForBook9
*hugs Death* Thank you!:)
Minecraft is deadly :3 *huggles* Bye!
Hey Ari! *hugs* :)
#ChaseForBook9
*hugs Ari back* Thank you!:3
PERRIE'S TWENTY ALREADY :O
#ChaseForBook9
Imstill hererangf
Okay!! I'm back!!
Talking: Back in a moment, showering.
#ChaseForBook9
Hey Adra! *hugs* :3
#ChaseForBook9
Hey Mara! *hugs*
He he!! Derek's on twitter!!
*Hehe!!
*waves him off*
Wonder if he's seen the RP ;P
I'll ask him!!!
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