Saturday, February 23, 2013

Imagine

Ah, Minions... you weirdos...

The event at the Imagine Festival in London went very well, as I thought it would. It was the second time I was on stage talking about the movies that had influenced the books— the first time was last year, at the Mountains to the Sea Festival in Dublin.

The place was packed out and the response was fantastic. Afterwards I signed for about three hours, seeing a lot of familiar (worryingly familiar) faces in the queue... It was all so much fun, and I want to thank everyone who turned up.

For those of you who couldn't make it, here are the trailers we showed... and here are the trailers— because of age restrictions— we COULDN'T show...


Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.

The whole Indiana Jones series has been a huge inspiration to me (except perhaps the fourth film.. ahem...) in terms of sheer fun and adventure and character. Jones is a perfect hero because, bizarrely, he rarely succeeds... Look at the first film, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and count how many times he messes up. He loses the idol, he loses Marian, he loses the Ark, he loses Marian (again), his bluff is called, he's captured... The guy never wins. But he NEVER gives up. And that's what makes him a hero.

I said none of this to Steven Spielberg when I met him, of course. I just started grinning.

But for the first book, this is exactly the kind of vibe I was going for. Fun, fantastic, and faintly frightening.

Another film that influenced the first book, and the series as a whole, is this one...


Big Trouble in Little China was a film that confused the hell out of me when I first saw it as a kid. I saw Kurt Russell and thought, okay, here we have the big strong American hero who has all the tough guy lines... and then he proceeds to bumble his way through the entire film. This is a guy who fights the bad guys at the end, totally unaware that he has lipstick smeared over his mouth.

It was only when I saw it again, years later, that I got the joke and I realised just how fantastic this film really is.

Playing With Fire is my monster movie. The Grotesquery, made up of parts of so many other creatures, is my Frankenstein's monster.


Every Saturday night I'd stay up after my folks had gone to bed, and I'd watch the old black and white Universal horrors, all the stuff from RKO... I don't know why I loved horror movies from such a young age, don't know what it was about me that responded so well, but I ABSORBED these things.


The Faceless Ones, I always say, is my whodunnit- it's my mystery book. Batu, after all, is the man behind the scenes, pulling all the strings. But this is also the first time we see the Faceless Ones themselves, which were inspired by the Cthulu stories by HP Lovecraft. The wonderful Hellboy comic is inspired by Lovecraft also, as you can see in the trailer for the movie adaptation...


(Oh, and also? Hellboy 2? They KIND of stole something from Skulduggery. Check out the poster and see if anything seems... familiar...)


(Ahem. Moving on...)

Dark Days is my revenge flick. You can't beat a good revenge flick, you really can't, and I jammed so much into this book. We have Tanith torture, we have Moloch and his vampires, we have Scapegrace becoming a zombie, we have the first real mention of Darquesse (even though she'd been in my plans from the very start) and we have the chapter entitled "Mid-Afternoon of the Dead".

Now, I could show the trailer to Night of the Living Dead, or Dawn of the Dead, or Day of the Dead, or the first two Evil Dead movies... but instead I'll show the trailer to Army of Darkness, the third Evil Dead film by Sam Raimi, and one of my favourite movies of all time...


Mortal Coil is my Invasion of the Bodysnatchers. It's my The Thing. It's the book where the Remnants run wild, and you can't trust the people you know, because they may not be the people you know anymore... Behold the glory of the hairstyles of the 1970s, and one of the most terrifying films I'd ever seen...


The Thing is the second John Carpenter/Kurt Russell film on my list, and it's here because it deserves to be. A masterclass in tension. If you're old enough, watch it... and watch it ALONE.


And in the chapter "By The Sword", we get one of my many nods to wonderful movies such as The Princess Bride. This one is pretty blatant. See if you can spot it in the middle of this, one of the greatest sword fights ever put onto celluloid...


Death Bringer is my superhero story. Between this and KOTW, the whole secret identity thing really starts to become a major issue, and this is the first book where we have a fight between two people who are powerful enough to punch each other through buildings... just like in Superman 2...


And this is also the book where Val gets attacked by that guy in her house. For me, this is the book where I switched from "realistic martial arts" to "realistic fighting", both in my writing and my own training. Take a look at my darling Gina Carano in Haywire...


And now we arrive at Kingdom of the Wicked, my science fiction story, where we have unsuspecting teenagers suddenly gifted with amazing powers, and we watch as it corrupts them. For this, Akira was a huge influence.


And it was also an influence on Chronicle, the trailer we showed at the festival. I THOROUGHLY recommend this movie.


And because it was science fiction, I felt completely justified in slipping in a nod to a certain Doctor...


We ALSO have a werewolf scene, which I did my best to link to the transformation in An American Werewolf in London. I'm not going to show that clip here, because it contains some brief nudity, but if one or two of you were to search for it, you would find that changing into a werewolf is a lot more painful than it appears in Twilight...

And SPEAKING of Twilight, how could I forget the debt I owe it for certain aspects of Death Bringer? So here we are, the trailer. Oh, be warned- one case of swearing at the very beginning.


And to top it all off, a massive influence on my writing...



And now I'm going to watch Ronda Rousey defend her UFC title against Liz Carmouche, in the FIRST women's event the UFC has ever held. In Ronda's own words, it is on like Donkey Kong...


4,961 comments:

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Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*hears him and turns to Niccolo* Hello Niccolo. Well actually I have had this on my mind for the entire day...last night it seemed you were trying to say something to me but well things happened and you couldn't so what were you trying to tell me last night?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Maybe a little. But I'm your idiot.

#ChaseForBook9

Alexis said...

I wont get my hopes entirely up i promise

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Bob: Good, good.

#ChaseForBook9

Emerald Melody said...

*looks at Sparky*

Leo: You coming with me to the bar and we see if there's anyone alive*

*Walks into the bar and down into the basement, then sits on the bottom stair*

Leo: You put your girlfriend in a really dangerous situation Trip. Deacon could have raped her. And it was on that bastard's mind.

Noelle said...

And I'm really pissed off at you. *thinks back* The way things were going, a moment longer could have...

I want to hit you again.

Niccolò Croatoan said...

I wanted to say that you are as lovely as a star in the endless black abyss we call sky, and that I was a fool for ignoring your light. *takes a few steps closer to her* You are truly the- *stumbles a bit* The... *collapses at her feet*

#ChaseForBook9

Sparky Braginski said...

*follows Leo into bar*

Jophiel said...

WarZone wants me to go to the sick bay because I'm light headed... Stupid flu... I'M NOT GOING TO GO!

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Thanks Leo. That makes my total inability to do anything and failure to correctly read the situation feel so much less like the worst failure of my entire life, and maybe something I can learn from, and be sorry for.

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*looks almost in complete shock and then kneels down beside him smiling* T-thank you Niccolo thank you. *offers him a hand*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Probably best to get your anger out.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

No... I won't. I'll save it up for the next time you lose your head.

Emerald Melody said...

*Leo looks at Adra*

Leo: Ads, what about that old alchemy spell? You know the one where you can show someone your memories. Prove to Trip that it was all Deacon.

Show him.

Niccolò Croatoan said...

*is unconscious* *softly murmurs something incomprehensible under breath*

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Bottling up your emotions isn't a good idea Adra. They aren't weapons to be used when convenient, they're part of you.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

No, Leo. I won't. *shakes her head* I am not going to relive that any more than I have to

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

I'm fine thanks, Leo. I trust Adra enough to believe her.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

That's a bit calling the kettle black, Trip

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Oh hell *places hand on his wrist finding his pulse* He's gonna hate me for this....*closes eyes focusing on Justaria and the memory of seeing Sensitives enter minds and tries to enter Niccolo's mind*

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

There's more to emotional alchemy than that. This isn't the time, but I should really explain it in depth one day.

#ChaseForBook9

Emerald Melody said...

Leo: I'll show him if you want... except I can show him from a rapist's perspective.

Are you still in pain Ads? Do you need me to get Drew?

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Really Leo, I'm fine.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*gives Leo a hard glare* No.

*gets to her feet* I should get looked at... That potion was only temporary

Niccolò Croatoan said...

*mind is full of thick chaos* *Zafira feels herself grabbed and forced back into her own head*

#ChaseForBook9

Trip Castalan, Lord of The Hobbits, The Fourth Most Popular Folk/Parody Banana Thief In The Land said...

Yeah, you look like hell. I'm just gonna rest here for a moment. *falls asleep on the floor*

#ChaseForBook9

Emerald Melody said...

*Leo looks calmly at Trip*

That's good Trip. Cause normally I would see an apology to your girlfriend, grateful that he didn't do that to her, comforting her and then helping her.

But then again, that's just me.

*looks at Adra's wounds*
Do you need me to get Drew? I can go and get him and be back as quick as anything...

Noelle said...

*rolls her eyes, going up the staircase* Rest. Right.

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*growls in frustration* God damn it! *digs nails into his wrist* NICCOLO WAKE UP PLEASE! *sounds pretty frightened* *tries again to enter his mind being much more forceful trying best not to freak*

Noelle said...

*elbows Leo in the ribs* What am I, twelve? I don't need an apology. And I can fix it myself, thank you very much.
*walks towards her lab*

Jophiel said...

*Looks at Niccolo and purses lips* *Concentrates*

Snow said...

is this where you lot have retreated to?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*skips over to Zafira and Niccolò* *kneels down next to Niccolò, motionless for a few moments* *peers up at Zafira, a fierce gleam in her eye, and hisses* He's mine. *smiles sweetly at Zaffy, the gleam gone* *lays on ground next to Niccolò and curls up against him* *closes eyes, attempting to fall asleep*

#ChaseForBook9

Snow said...

wow ari...

Jophiel said...

*Stares at Aretha* Did I just hallucinate again or did Aretha just manage to scare the crap out of me...?

Noelle said...

*glances over at the group*
*sighs*
*continues to the lab*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((Um... Oops... *smiles apologetically* Sorry guys... ))

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

What the hell Aretha?! What is wrong with you?! You...*has a look of hurt in eyes* No Aretha he isnt. He was desperate for you but you did this to him! You hurt him you're...you're not right he never did anything to you LEAVE HIM ALONE!

Snow said...

keep it PG girls... *glances around* i really am fearing for my life right now...

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*buries face deeper into Niccolo's coat* *shows no reaction to anything that's being said around self*

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

The PG wall was broken AAAAAGES ago

Snow said...

yeah, i guess your right adra *shrugs*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((points to Adra's comment ^ Yeah... Agreed. If nothing else, Deacon put the last nail in that coffin.))

#ChaseForBook9

Snow said...

wbvd, msd

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*takes out knife and stabs Ari in back or the neck* you fucking bitch you god damned BITCH WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO HIM?! HE TRUSTED YOU AND YOU CONTROLLED HM LIKE THIS YOU...*stabs again*

(So sorry Ari dont take offense)

Noelle said...

Yeah...0.0

Jophiel said...

(*Tries not to laugh, knowing it will result in a massive coughing fit* Deacon...

Noelle said...

Riiight.
*works on patching herself up*

Snow said...

*winces*

i am sooo scared for my life....

Jophiel said...

Yeah... Uh... I'm not getting into this fight.... Ari is freaking me out...

Snow said...

*hides*

Noelle said...

You don't say,.

Alexis said...

We may need to keep away...Justy comes out we may be picking bits of Ari off ourselves

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*slowly pulls knife out of back and stands up* *examines the knife carefully* *eyes snap up to Zafira* *draws sword and rests blade against the left side of her neck* Be careful how you step. This isn't your forest anymore. *rolls head to the side, cracking neck* *sings softly to self*

Lungs and livers and bladders and hearts, you always save a bundle when you buy our Geneco... Geneco... *eyes widen, drops sword suddenly and steps backwards* Oh my God, I'm so sorry... I... *takes a few more steps back, then turns and sprints away*

#ChaseForBook9

Snow said...

*winces again*

erm... *stays hidden*

i really am not feeling safe, so, you know, i may just stay here...

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*watches her leave and kneels beside Niccolo totally concerned for him* Niccolo? Please dear god wake up...

Snow said...

*sighs*

i'm gonna come out now... please spare my life...
*comes out*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((Omfg Ari REPO GENERIC OPERA))

Snow said...

*hums quietly*

*is scared*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((WAIT ZAF DO YOU KNOW THAT OPERA? ARE YOU SERIOUS THAT OPERA IS LIKE MY LIFE))

#ChaseForBook9

Jophiel said...

*Follows Aretha at a distance* Ari... Ari, are you okay...?

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((Am I really that scary? 0.0))

#ChaseForBook9

Snow said...

((yes ari, yes you gad damm are))

Snow said...

(*god)

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

((YES I KNOWS IT :D I am now further worried for Cococ due to that))

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*stops running, turns to face Death and presses back into tree* No, no I'm really not. I think... I didn't want to believe this, but... I think we're both too dark... I can't keep them back anymore... His emotions are so... *takes shuddering breath* Strong. But, ah, I'd rather not kill anyone.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*begins to sing Zydrate Anatomy*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

((OHMYGOSH I LOVE YOU ALL I THOUGHT NOBODY KNEW REPO! EVEN EXISTED))

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*still kneels beside Niccolo* Oh god...Please be okay...((I totes volunteer to help him! I do I'll do anything to help him...))

Snow said...

*strolls over to zaf*

you... ah... you okay?

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Im fine im worried if he's okay

Snow said...

*sits*

um.... i really dont know what use i could be, but... i'm here, if you need me.

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Hm... *begins to sing tunelessly*

There's a bleeding hole in my back, la-dee-da,
My friend is in the woods, la-dee-da,
Everybody thinks I'm scaaaary
I sora kinda am, la-dee-da

*walks back over to Niccolò* Yep, he's totally fine. Super awesome peachy keen fine. One of him will take over, and then he'll get his lazy bum up. *laughs* And he called me a slacker... Wait, no, that was his mother with the chimney man... *shrugs* Oh well.

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

((I CAN'T FEEL NOTHING AT ALLLLLL ;D))

Snow said...

g2g, bye!

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Ari I really...he didnt mean what he said to me did he? You were behind that...

Jophiel said...

*Hugs Aretha tightly* Hey, it's okay! We all have our sides! *Smiles and pats her hair* You'll both be okay, I promise!

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Bye Snow!

No, I didn't make him say that. It was the chimney man, Anthony. Wait, no, that was the earth guy, I think... Maybe his sister? No, no, it was him, but only because of his mother's father's grandson.

#ChaseForBook9

Alastair Cruciatus said...

Deathy... *hugs her tightly* *lets go, smiling, and nods to self* We like Deathy.

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*sighs taking his hand* He knows I love him...I just want him to wake before I lose it thinking he's not going to. I hope maybe he may feel the same...I want to help him I do.

Noelle said...

*has totally lost what is happening*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

*shrugs at Zaffy* One of him does. But one of him loves me. And one of them wants to eat me.

#ChaseForBook9

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

*shakes head* I just want him safe he needs help

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alastair Cruciatus said...

((Just assume that for some reason Niccolò and I are now both insane.))

#ChaseForBook9

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...



Ari look I really want him to be okay...*looks at his face smiling*

Noelle said...

*yay insanity*

Alastair Cruciatus said...

msd

Alastair Cruciatus said...

#ChaseForBook9

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

okay...

I'm making a Full Metal Alchemist picture... I hope it's good, yall :P I AM ON A ROLL

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

K Ari I wont be on til like 5:30 may be earlier but assume 5:30

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

I am gonna go to bed now partly because I wanna be alive for drama auditions tomorrow *nods*

*falls asleep beside Niccolo tightly gripping his hand*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Right...

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

I FINISHED MY DRAWING :'D

Noelle said...

LOOKIE

LOOKIE AT MY SAD AND HAPPY EDWARD ELRIC

I KNOW IT SUCKS I ONLY HAD PAINT TO WORK OFF OF

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Cool, Adra...

#ChaseForBook9

Noelle said...

*throws up rainbows and glitter*

AH

Okay I should go finish my last-minute studying because I JUST WASTED AN HOUR ON THAT

BYE FABIIIIIIII
*runs off*

Sparky Braginski said...

Hello...?

Sparky Braginski said...

Problems with hand writing letters written by characters.

Fucking signatures.

*is currently labouring over Sparky's signature*

Jophiel said...

Oh... God.... We are doing sex ed... *Covers face in horror* With Reno...

Sparky Braginski said...

*chuckles*

Benefits of attending a girls only school.

*grins*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

Bye Adra.

Hello Sparky.

...
My handwriting is horrid. I guess Fabi's would have to be the same.

#ChaseForBook9

Sparky Braginski said...

I've been trying to make it look nice...

I'm going to take a picture of it when I figure out the signature.

Jophiel said...

Well, Reno's nickname is Reno the Paedo... For good reasoning... He bidded for a girl on Valentine's Day....

Sparky Braginski said...

Ewwwwwww.

Jophiel said...

I know! He's looking at me!!!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

And you're looking at you phone/laptop!

Snow said...

hi.

*sips mint tea*

Snow said...

whats happening? nothing much?

*sits down*

Jophiel said...

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. EW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

Nothing much at all.

*pokes Snow*

Snow said...

*scowls at sparky*

*pokes back*

*sips tea*

Jophiel said...

RENO'S BEING GROSS!

Snow said...

*gags*

this tea is awful

BUT i have to drink it... apparently it helps with head colds

Snow said...

*hugs deathy*

Reno?

Sparky Braginski said...

Read up a bit, Snow.

*pokes back*

Snow said...

*hugs death again*

HIT HIS HEAD IN!!

*pokes sparky*

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

:-/

#ChaseForBook9

Snow said...

hey fab.
whats up?

Jophiel said...

*Makes high whining sound* Gross. Just saw something I didn't want to... I. Am. Scared. For. Life.

Snow said...

*tries to smuggle deathy out*

*fails*

at least i can say i tried...

Sparky Braginski said...

*pushes Snow's head*

Am I bothering you?

Snow said...

*grins at sparky*

nope.

*sits on sparky*

am i bothering you

Noelle said...

*walks in with a boom box* ALL GIRL'S SCHOOL IN THE CLUB WALK IT TWO STEP

Snow said...

i am getting sick of Pompeii by Bastille. BUT i am organizing a flashmod to it, so... yeah, i prob shouldn't be declaring across the internet my flashmob plans, but meh.

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...

[Shrugs]

Really distant...

#ChaseForBook9

Snow said...

wbvd, msd

Fabi S. - Fashion-Conscious Fire Wraith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sparky Braginski said...

*pulls her into my lap*

Of course not.

Sparky Braginski said...

Oh my god okay so this just happened

I ship these two girls at school together as a joke and I've gotten a few people in on the joke and it's actually really funny

One of them, R, got back from a two week holiday today and she says to me "Hey, I need to tell you stuff."

All good and fine, right? Then she says something to the other half of the ship who looks at me and goes, "Hah! It's more relevant to me! She likes me better!"

So naturally and smirk and say "I know she does, S." and grin and OMGGG IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY SHE WALKED RIGHT FUCKING INTO IT IT'S TGE BEST RUNNING JOKE EVER HOLY SHIT YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THEIR FACES

Noelle said...

I wanna sit on Sparky's lap.

Sparky Braginski said...

*unceremoniously pushes Snow out of my lap*

Well.

Snow said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Snow said...

gee, thanks spark :D

Noelle said...

*jumps of Sparky's lap*
YAY!
*immediately falls asleep*

Sparky Braginski said...

*laughs*

Snow said...

*pokes sparky*

you are so nice.
'cause, you know, you just push me off your lap.
which is the nicest thing in the world.

Snow said...

*thinks*

*grins*

*grabs sparky's arm, teleporting to a random tree*

Sparky Braginski said...

*hisses and grabs onto Adra to make sure she doesn't fall*

Snow said...

hey, we're on the ground, dont worry.

*makes sure adra is okay*

Sparky Braginski said...

*scowls at Snow and keeps Adra in my lap*

Where are we?

Noelle said...

((I'm actually going so...

If any of you draw on my face I will rip off your head and feed it to sharks. Nighty night))

Snow said...

hmm...
i dont actually know.... *looks around*

*grins*

tassie, in a field.

Snow said...

bye adra!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

Tassie, aye?

Not bad.

But I am rather fond of Central...

Snow said...

g2g! BYE!!

*teleports sparky back to blogland*

Sparky Braginski said...

Thanks.

*puts Adra in her hammock and climbs onto the roof*

Jophiel said...

*Cackles evilly*

Sparky Braginski said...

Rose...?

Jophiel said...

*Grins at Sparky, still cackling*

Sparky Braginski said...

...

*moves into house swiftly and brings up the defences*

*walks back out again and leans on railing*

Hello.

Jophiel said...

It's okay! *Covers mouth* I'm not her! I'm not Judi! *Falls to her knees* It's my defensive procedure after I feel like shit!

Sparky Braginski said...

I was actually looking at the way the trees appear to be shifting slightly behind you, but that's okay.

Maybe you should come inside.

Are you okay?

Jophiel said...

*Walks inside* Yeah, no... Actually, I'm feeling like crap! *Shrugs happily* I'm used to it!

Jophiel said...

Sorry for vanishing before, I'm in science and my teacher is evil!!!!

Sparky Braginski said...

Do you want something to drink?

Tea? Water? Milkshake?

*wanders into the kitchen*

D'you want to talk about it?

Sparky Braginski said...

No worries.

Jophiel said...

I'm good, drink-wise! Thanks! *Beams* Talking about it could help... I think... *Smiles fades slowly*

Sparky Braginski said...

We can chat on email, if you're more comfortable with that.

*prepares chocolate milkshake*

Want anything to eat?

Jophiel said...

*Shrugs* I find it easier to be on here, actually... It'll be too obvious if I'm going from email to Word over and over...

No thanks. I'm good.

Sparky Braginski said...

Fair enough.

*sips drink*

So, what's up?

(I have to vanish very shortly and go to English, but I should be able to have my laptop out during it, if not I'm very sorry for leaving)

Jophiel said...

Okay, so, a friend of mine is complaining about how I'm so... "Emotionally uncaring" and I kinda had enough of it. So I told her about my life, why I'm unhappy and all that shiz. She laughed at me, told me that my life is a Hell lot better than a lot of people.
See, that's the thing. I know my life is way better than so many other people. But it makes me feel worse, knowing that I have such a life. Others in Melbourne live on the streets and beg for food and money while I live comfortably in a warm home with food and water.

And I'm willing to give it all up. That's what makes me feel freaking terrible.

But, here's the worst part: I can't change my ways. I've tried. So, I'm being called this unemotional freak because I don't care if I lose in life.

Jophiel said...

Okay, if you have to leave, I understand. *Smiles*

Sparky Braginski said...

I'm back.

And look here, you know what you should keep in mind?

Each person has their threshold. They have what they can take, and each person's problems are overwhelming to them.

Rose, your issues are tailored to you.

But please, please, don't give up.

Jophiel said...

That's way more easier said than done.

Sparky Braginski said...

I haven't given up, have I?

How many people do you know, Rose?

None of them have given up.

As long as you're living, you haven't given up.

Jophiel said...

*Shrugs* One day something's going to rip me open...

Sparky Braginski said...

I've been ripped open before.

*shrugs back*

I won't lie, it's pretty bad. But it's survivable.

Jophiel said...

It'll be a time where I can't get on here... It'll be too hard...

Sparky Braginski said...

Sometimes it is too had to be on here, I get that.

It's nice to get away from the drama and focus on real life.

I know that.

Jophiel said...

My life is crap. That's why I'm always here.

Sparky Braginski said...

Then embrace the good parts.

Like how awesome australia is this time of year. Appreciate your health, if you have it. Go on long walks and listen to good music. Run around the block. Dance in your bedroom with the door shut.

What won't help, is to ignore the help you're being offered.

Talk to a school counsellor.

If you don't want to get better, you won't, Rose.

Jophiel said...

See, my mum says that I'm not depressed and haven't acted sad in a while. I have this blog as proof against that. So she doesn't really believe I'm depressed. She thinks I'm happy. I can't really tell her that I'm back into that hole...

Did I tell you that I've overdosed on my anti-depressants...?

Sparky Braginski said...

No.

Did I tell you that I've self harmed in the last month?

Of course I didn't.

Rose, you can see a school counsellor on your own. Organise a meeting with the school office.

They really help.

Jophiel said...

But I'm not really open about all this... I'm only telling you guys because there is a nagging suspicion that you are all robots... And that I love you guys. I wouldn't end up talking while in a meeting with a counselor...

Sparky Braginski said...

*shrugs*

I had a meeting with my counsellor this morning.

I didn't tell her everything, by any means.

But I made a start. If you take baby steps, it'll be easier.

There's a confidentiality thingo that they have to abide by unless someone's going to get hurt.

BUt it's what they're payed to do. They're trained professionals, and they'll help you more than us guys on the blog ever will.

Jophiel said...

*Shakes head* I can't... I wouldn't share anything. You guys on the other hand, I love you guys so much! I know that you'll keep it secret.

Sparky Braginski said...

Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose, Rose...

Do you want to get better?

Jophiel said...

I do. I've tried. I've seen a shrink and they've done nothing...

Jophiel said...

I may disappear soon... I'll be heading home...

Sparky Braginski said...

You see, I disagree.

I don't think you want to get better.

And before you get mad, hear me out.

Everyone here loves you very much. We try to help you, and make you feel better. We give you our advice and our best wishes and we worry about you. You try to help you.

But everyday you come back, depressed. Talking about being broken. Asking us to help, to pay attention.

And we do.

But when it comes to solid advice of "Do this it will help" you don't.

Because deep down, you think it's easier to hurt.

Jophiel said...

*Smiles* I do pay attention to what you say... I've closed myself off for so long, I listen but I can't accept anything...

If I vanish for a long time (a few days), try not to think the worst... Even though the worst probably happened...

Sparky Braginski said...

See?

That's it, right there. I can actually feel you brushing my advice off like it's nothing. Then you follow it up with a hopeless statement and expect me to sympathise.

Rose, to get better you have to do something

Snow said...

hello??

Snow said...

*is pissed*

why the hell does life think it can push me around??

Snow said...

*glares at the world*

Snow said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sparky Braginski said...

Jeez, bro, what's up?

Snow said...

*sighs*

sorry... i guess i dont need to take me anger out on you guys... it's just that...

people dont seem to effing respect me....
i am sick of the world treating me like crap...

Sparky Braginski said...

Well, bro, have you thought that maybe people don't respect you for a reason?

*is doing a handstand on the balcony railing cause I felt like it*

If you don't do anything to earn respect no one's going to give it to you.

Dragona Pine said...

Hello.

Sparky Braginski said...

Heya, Pine.

Snow said...

oh, i do everything to earn it.

i help people, i give people things and i am just generally around. yet i get zilch for what i do. just one time, could someone not say "thank you". could someone just show me that they know i exist??

Dragona Pine said...

I have to go to college soon.

Snow said...

hey pine.

*sighs and sits on ground*

*shakes head*

Sparky Braginski said...

Whether you want appreciation or respect, being 'nice' ain't gonna get it. To get respect you have to do something admirable and visible. No other method truly works.

Snow said...

"nice" is not only what i do...

believe you me, if you knew some of the things i had done, you wouldn't see me the same...

*sighs*

sometimes i wonder why i bother.

Sparky Braginski said...

Because the small satisfaction of helping someone out is reward in itself.

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