For most of my life, I had no interest. I didn't want to read about some made-up place that never existed and people running around with swords and elves and trolls and dragons and whatnot. I wanted stories set in reality, in the modern day. Fantasy films were fine, but I only had to spend two hours watching those. Reading a fantasy book was altogether different.
I never read The Lord Of The Rings. My brother did, and whenever he spoke about it I could sense the frustration in his voice whenever he talked about the endless songs and silliness. I liked the movies, of course. Well, I liked the parts in the movies where they focussed on the humans. Hobbits I could do without.
And then I read a review of a book called The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie. The review said this book had blistering action and fascinating characters and the whole thing was held together by acerbic wit. And that was the thing. Wit. Humour. For me, fantasy books just seemed so incredibly po-faced, like they took themselves way too seriously.
So I picked up The Blade Itself, and I loved it. I loved everything about it. I loved every single thing about this book and it was fantasy, so I asked myself— what else have I been missing out on? And the series that was recommended by quite simply everyone was George RR Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice— which later became known as the Game of Thrones books, thanks to the TV show. So I read that, and I loved it. I read the next one and the next one and the next one. I loved them all.
All this is a (very) roundabout way of introducing Curse of Kings, by Alex Barclay.
Alex is a friend of mine. She's a crime writer by day, and has recently become a fantasy author by night. I love her crime novels. I never know what the hell is going on until the final few pages, and I am technically in love with her main character, Ren Bryce. Ren Bryce is the most awesome woman in the world, and I don't care that she doesn't actually exist. She exists for me, and that's what matters.
Alex's crime novels are thoroughly modern and laced with one-liners and sarcastic asides, so when she told me she was writing a fantasy novel for younger readers, I was thrilled.
(Unless she's reading this blog. If you're reading this, Alex, I wasn't thrilled. I was the opposite of thrilled. I was un-thrilled. I was de-thrilled. It takes a lot more than YOU to thrill ME ands that's no mistake. Damn right. Darn tootin'. I'm going to stop talking about this now. Hell yeah.)
Curse of Kings has it all. It has kingdoms and heroes and villains and secrets and mysteries and swords and killing and monsters and monsters and monsters. Did I mention it has monsters? It does. Lots of them. And they're all... weird. Oh, and the book also has lamprey eels. Do yourself a favour. Search Google Images for lamprey eels. Go on, I'll wait. Just type it in and take a look... go on...
Yes. There are things THAT disgusting in real life.
I'm not going to go into detail about the Big Mystery in Curse of Kings, because even mentioning what the mystery hinges on could spoil it for you, and I wouldn't want to do that. Hopefully it'll take you as much by surprise as it did me.
And if all that doesn't convince you, take a look at one of the coolest book trailers I've seen in a long time. And pay attention to the man whose quote they use on the cover. He sounds like he knows what he's talking about.
4,950 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4201 – 4400 of 4950 Newer› Newest»OH. She left?
*looks upwards guiltily*
FOURS, IENI. :(
That was awesome Star! I couldn't stop laughing C:
I'm like a religion? *is amused*
How, exactly, am I like a religion?
????????
*dives under duvet*
*dives out, hugs Mara, then dives back under again*
Reallyness???? :)
I must be possessed by TSWTSV. O_O
Wbd, watching the trailer over and Over Again! :3
Hint to Mara's joke - Song title.
Directionerity is a religion. *nods*
One Direction are your deities and you worship them . . . You deify them! *starts singing Deify*
*laughs* XD
Star, you have to tell me what the abbreviations mean.... :P
THE FREAKING TRAILER!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8i2euePOw8
Okay... *coughs*
So I'm, like, two religions? O.O Christian and Directioner? Right...
Or Catholic. Whatever it is :P I think it's both... So now I've got THREE religions?!
Catholicism is a branch of Christianity! :)
Which abbreviations? :)
Holy mother of Nandos. It's so beautiful :')
AUGUST 30th. *nods*
TSWTSV and stuff :P
Ohhh. That's really bad, I'm making my confirmation this year and I don't even know that XD
THOSE STUPID PEOPLE BEING MEAN TO MARA BECAUSE SHE'S A DIRECTIONER I WILL EAT THEM FOR THIS.
Msd.
Ieni, I'm fine! *laughs* I'll get through it. :)
Msd & wbd.
My posters! :)
http://www.onedirectionandskulduggeryiloveyou.blogspot.ie/2013/02/my-posters.html?m=1
Nonononononon, this is a breach of the laws of Ieniness and if anyone breaks them, THEY GETS EATEN!
But Mara the thingy won't let me stalk your blog! *sits down and sulks*
TDWTSV = the DWTS virus.
DWTS = Down With The Sickness.
Ah, it's my fantasy vitus, don't bother about it. :)
'LO IENI!
Ieni, I WILL be fine. :) You can eat them if you want, but...
Hold on. This is the link to my blog without all the fancy shmancy stuff:
www.onedirectionandskulduggeryiloveyou.blogspot.com
Oh right Star! :3 I need a dictionary for Starish.
Hey, Star!
Yes, but it's not letting me follow you. Meh. I shall live.
Verrry msd.
STAR I STARTED READING HUNGER! There was a massive list at school so reserving it
g2g
Oh well. Tis okay Ieni :)
Bye Ieni! *hugs* :(
YAAAAAAY! :)
FOURS! :)
Sometimes I feel as if Eve is ? at every email I send her. XD
YAY FOR STARISH! :)
Sorry I disappearedededededed! I was switching to the computererererer.
STARARARARAR! :P
MARARARARA! :)
STARARARARARARARAR! IT'S YOU AND LUCI'S BLOGVERSARY PARTY TOMORROW!!
Wbd, chatting to one of my Directionsisters from America :)
Hello everyone.
Hehe. I returned. I may even become a regular commenter again.
I don't think my work load could take it.
And I musn't upset my workload. It just grows when I do out of spite.
Hi Octa! :)
Hey Mara :)
If you don't mind me asking where do you all live? I'm from London.
I used to know where people lived but different people comment here now :)
I'm from Ireland! :)
Sorry I'm so distant, I'm chatting to a friend I haven't talked to in a few months :)
YOLA
I disappeared sorry. Mum called me away.
I have to go now.
*hugs everyone*
No problem Mara :)
Byeeeee!
*begins to wave enthusiastically and gradually fades until sad*
All alone
Hellooooo.
gotta go bai
Sorry. I was bounding around my bedroom, ahem, and then my dad came to talk to me.
Ah, Valentines Day.
The day of the year that we have to embrace the fact that we'll be forever alone.
Well, so that happened.
I was witness to someone having a stroke or fainting spell at mass in front of my face
Happy Valentine's Day(for some)! *tosses a basketful of red paper hearts to everyone*
Happy, happy day! :D
Bye bye!
You know, I think that for Lent I'm just going to stop talking. That's good for everyone else, because no one cares what I have to say anyway.
I care about what you have to say, Val! Please don't stop talking!
Hi/bye Lav! Happy Valentine's Day to you, too! (for me it's tomorrow, but whatever!)
Has everybody read Death's latest MC chapters? Because they're awesome...
That's one out of everybody, Aretha.
One is more than no one.
...Where is everyone...?
I feel like a ghost...
*throws something*
I hate being upset. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.
Why are you upset?
Because whenever someone in my house is in a bad mood, or feel like they need to tease someone, they take it out on me. Even my mum. She makes sarcastic jokes at me when everyone else is there, and earlier at dinner when I was sick of it, I said I was leaving and she replied with, "Good."
So, I'm not happy right now.
Hi.
I'm really sorry to hear that, Val. I get stuff like that from classmates all the time, but from your own family... Ouch.
At least you can take out your anger on them while still being right from a moral standpoint?
...Sorry, my attempt at optimism was rather pathetic there.
I'm sorry... *grimaces becauase I can't stand using such an overused word, but doesn't know what other word to use*
My super bestfriend/sister has the same problem... It's not your falut, though, you know. I mean, it's really screwy and you should never ever have to go through it... I really, really hate it when families do this... But try not to get too depressed. Just try, even if it doesn't work, for me? In the end it's just because they're being stupid- there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
[Nods] Read Ari's, she said it better.
Sorry- must sleep now. If anyone is still here.
Fabi, I will in fact answer your question- tomorrow moning, before I go to school, actually- sorry I haven't done so already, I was really busy tonight.
Val- seriously. There is nothing wrong with you, so don't you dare start making yourself guilty on me, ok?
I have a plot twist planned for MC tomorrow. You will either hate me or love me. Stay tuned.
Also, Fabi, thank you really super a lot- if there's one thing I'm insecure about (and there really isn't much) it's my complete and utter inability to be good at making people I care about realize how awesome they are. That is the only thing I hate about myself... well, there's my late night rant. Sorry, I promised someone I would sleep now... *collapses and sleeps where I drop for the second night in a row*
Uh, oh...plot twists.
Published an MC!
Night, Ari!
Trust me, I'm not a person who gets upset and starts to hate themselves. Yeah, the things I don't like about myself are more apparent than when I'm not, but I don't get mad at myself. I get mad at the people who piss me off.
That's smart. They're the ones worth being mad at.
Oh, and I keep forgetting to ask, is Gilbert still being creepy?
Ugh... We are supposed to have a party today...
[Blows up a balloon]
[Lets it go with a loud raspberry]
I haven't seen Gilbert, no...
But Thursday is usually the day. *nods*
May he continue to leave you in (sort of) peace.
Thursday. Why isn't it Thursday yet?
I always feel behind schedule... On Blogland and off.
I'm afraid I have to go now.
See y'all in the morning!
Night!
Ok, I'm really leaving now!
Really!
Really!
HAPPY VALENSTINE DAY EVERYONE
*blows tiny trumpet things and cracks other things*
... sorry I've forgotten the names of them all! *blushes*
*looks around at deserted place that is decorated with pink and red streamers*
... darn everyone's gone!
I THOUGHT WE WHERE SAPOSE TO BE THROWING A PARTY!!!
*sighs*
looks like its just you an me Skulduggery
*Skulduggery appears out of no where and stares at Mistical*
yep just you and me till someone else shows up!
*goes over to ipod player and starts some music*
Do you want to dance? im going to be bored other wise!
*Skulduggery shrugs*
"Might as well" he says
*Mistical and SP start to dance*
... were NEVER going to get to 5000 comments at this rate!
N
E
V
E
R
!
!
!
Not reaching 5,000 comments isn't a bad thing.
It just means more space to talk.
ah I have to do my Maths homework now!
I know this might sound weird but I WANT to do my English assignment!
"then do your English assignment" said SP
But my maths is due tomorrow!
"then do your Maths" replied SP
but its soooo BORING!
"then get your reflection to do it"
I wish I could! but I don't have any full length mirrors in my house!
*SP looks at Mistical and cocks his head*
Don't look at me like that! you never had to do maths like this!
hi mist I gtg for dinner
HELLO PEOPLE!
*frowns* I had a dream last night I was here . . .
HELLO, EVIL STALKING PEOPLE.
*prods invisible people who are watching this comment, either now or in the future*
IT'S SO EVIL HOW YOU STALK ME AND I DON'T KNOW AND O_O
It's actually creepy.
*starts throwing potatoes*
*starts building that massive triangle thing pepople make out of upright cards*
I know how to do it ish. It's just hard. We were byilding cards structures at school one time.
*gives up and bashes card stack with a banana*
NOW I HAVE TO THINK OF SOME WORTHWHILE WORTHLESS RUBBISH TO COMMENT ABOUT, BECAUSE USING UP SPACE IS EVIL.
Ermh.
IDEAS FAILING HERE. *runs around like a mad thing, bopping the invisible stalkers on the nose on my way past*
I could have a conversation with myself. :/
Ooh. Nice
IF YOU READ THIS, NOW OR LQTER, YOU'RE AN IMVISIBLE STALKER AND I RESERVE THE WRITE TO DRAW ON YOU.
*runs off to get felt tips*
*comes back and starts making you stalkers rainbow-coloured*
Technixally, I stalk the past comments . . .
Hay
*pours banana nush on tge stalkers*
Hey, this is kind of boring.
*start shooting the stalkers*
HEY NIX.
*paints HEY NIX! on the ground in white*
*lights fire*
Join me, Star
*starts pouring hay on Nix* You did ask for some. XD
*narrows eyes and lights hay*
Not the hay on you, the other hay, because setting fire to you may have servere consequences.
OOH I LIKE SERVERE CONSEQUENCES. *thinks thoughtfully*
DAMMIT. Bb in TEN MINUTES. *nods*
I meant join me by my fire, but that's close enough
Now, how to put this...?
BACK.
Hi Nix and Star!
Happy Valentine's day!
*frowns* What what, Nix?
Well...
*shoots arrow at Star*
Now I've got that out of the way...
*shoots arrow at Mistical*
That's for mentioning Valentine's day in a happy tone
Be back soon
And a happy Valentine's Day to you too.
It's Scáth blogversary, did you all know?
:O
*runs to get help* *trips* *arrows get impaled furthur*
*whispers* . . . Dammit.
*gives up on the running thing and tries to pull arrows out, hoping they aren*t poisoned*
*picks up arrow that didn't penetrate the coat because Ghastly made it*
hmmmm
*tosses arrow at Nix*
*looks at unharmed Mistical* DAMN YOU, IS ALL I CAN SAY. *passes out*
Valentine's Day actually promotes arrows, if you think about it . . .
Also, it's like we have a day dedicated to Valentine Morgernstern, and trust me, that's a bad thing. :)
... *gives Star an antidote that was lying a couple of meters away from her*
We're not having much of a party are we?
"no we are not" agreed SP
And it promotes shooting and bullets, because Bullet For My Valentine.
"aren't you suppose to be doing your maths homework?" asked SP
yes but ... *looks at maths homework. gets a bow and arrows, and shoots her homework*
there now I can say a war destroyed my homework!
*drinks antidote* THANKS.
*passes put again*
*laughs*
I'm sure you'd be believed. :P
:D
*SP shakes his head*
*Mistical grins*
:D
and your right Star to a degree it dose promote long ranged violence!
yea my maths teacher would love it so much that she'd give me a signature (at my school that's a bad thing)!
GUYS TODAY IS STAR AND LUCI'S BLOGVERSARY PARTY!!!! AND VALENTINES! DOUBLE PARTY! XD
www.letspartytillwerepurple.blogspot.com
To a LARGE degree. *grumbles*
*goes back to dying*
NIX IS A MAGGOT-SWILLING FUSTILARIAN, TO BORROW FABI'S MANNER OF INSULTING.
hi!
did you like your arrow that I threw back at you?
Well, I wasn't heres, so I have no idea who you threw it back to
*looks ar Star*
Hey
Hi Misty! *hugs* :)
Hey Star! *hugs* :)
Hiya Nix! *hugs* :)
HAPPY VALENTINE'S! :D
MARAAAAA!
Hello. I'm dying.
NIXXXXX!
Hello. You're evil.
HI Mara!
How are you?
Oh and on the topic before
I don't like 1D but I would never bully someone or force them to change there opinion!
So i'm just saying people don't have to like 1D but just because they don't it gives them NO right to hurt people that do!
so in that way I agree with you!
Well, yeah
Seriously, how many clues do you need Star?
*notches another arrow*
*hugs back*
*gives Star another antidote*
*grabs arrow of Nix*
No more arrows for you today mister!
*grabs quiver*
There'z no antidote to injury and bloodloss! D:
*hides antidote*
Five clues! Because five is an awesome number.
*crawls slowly, helplesdly, pitifully away from strung bow* OKAY THIS IS JUST EMBARRASSING.
*gives Star first aid kit*
there should be stuff to stich you up with in there!
do you know how to do it?
*sets fire to Misty*
Don't touch my stuff
Thanks Misty :) It's horrible what some people do... :/
STAR DON'T BE DEADEDEDEDEDED! :O
*looks at Mistical being brave* I feel sorry for you, but don't tell WeetaNix that.
HAPPY VALENTINES!
AHHHHHH
*Runs around screaming then jumps in the lake*
*comes out sopping wet*
dam you!
... woops I dropped your arrows in the lake!
:P
Star, Nix shot you, but don't be don't be deaded? :)
*laughs at irony*
Hi Sep! how are you?
I'm sopping wet!
*is still dripping water*
*looks at Misty*
You have one minute to get those back or I'll kill you
*clicks fingers and looks at Ember*
Do not get my started
Hey Ember! *hugs* :)
*runs into tree*
*burns tree with light*
*makes arrows*
MARA'S ARROWS! COME AND GET 'EM!
ah I have water in my boots! I hate water in my shoes!
*takes off boots and pores out the water in them*
I use metal compct arrows.
Not wooden weak things
Heyo Embero.
http://letspartytillwerepurple.blogspot.com/
Hey, this could be interesting. *gets out flask of pure liquid ethermelt* *drinks* *bounds up, pulls arrows out, runs to hospital, gets stitches and blah, and runs back in the space of half an hour* MWAH HA HA.
*jumps about*
FABIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WE NEED YOU AND YOUR METAL POWERS! *smashes ink at Nix*
*tries to stop jumping about*
tehe sorry I don't do fishing!
>:D
*falls over dizzily and lies on ground laughing hysterically*
(Ah, maybe I should have waited to recover naturally.)
*smashes into the ground*
*looks up*
Star, you're going to wish that the arrow had killed you
*rolls neck*
You're all going to die
*looks at Nix* Okay?
*laughter goes suddenly* What . . . ? *faints*
*gets up and starts bouncing around incinerating things with my flamethrower*
YAY FUN FOR US!!!
*starts singing 'dumb ways to die' but with 'fun' instead of 'dumb'*
Cool. Dying is fun. *wicked grin* *swings stream of fire in Nix's direction*
MSD.
*waves hand and fire blasts back at Star*
Not the best idea to fight an Elemental with fire
good thing I don't fight fire with fire then!
:D this is way more interesting than maths!!!
Uh, guys, magical doctor in the wings, so don't worry.
Oh, and Mara, if you're still here, I've sent you an email.
Star, we're planning on meeting up with you pretty soon.
*uses air to land next to Misty*
True . . .
*dives out of way at speed of light* TOO SLOWWWWWWWW. *is standing behind Nix* Mwah ha ha. *throws knife at him* *whizzes away*
I have a while before this stuff wears off . . .
I may remodel my character. I've wanted to for ages but I have an idea now. :)
*waves at Nix, and take a big step back*
*OC
*grabs knife out of air*
I've improved since you last saw me
*pushes air and sends Star flying*
where do you guys live? like which country?
out of curiosity
I want to suck your soul, Nix, but that wouldn't be fair, and you'd probably find some way so that wouldn't work on you or something.
Vienna, Austria.
Nix, are you fighting again?
*looks at Nix and cocks head*
hmmm nice catch!
Ember, what do you think will happen if you try that?
*spins round in air, kicks off tree, and jumps off unharmed* AND I HAVE ETHERMELT. MY SUBSTANCE FROM MY STORY. UH, UNWRITTEN STORY. BUT I'M NOT MAKING UP IT'S PROPERTIES AS I GO ALONG, SO HAH. :)
*shakes flask anxiously* Hmm. Don't have much. *gets out sword and charges at Nix*
HI DEATH!
and yes he is!
cool I'm an Aussie!
*does backflip and draws knifes*
Evening Star
HI DEATH!
East Riding of Yorkshire, England, UK, Eurpoe, Planet Earth, The Universe! :)
yes three fish Sep
F
U
D
G
E
Death! I thought you'd be gone! (hugs)
I really hope your dad doesn't find out. Don't worry, I know how you feel. I took all my fanfics down once because I thought my mom could find them.
... sorry four!
*Europe
*runs into knife* Goddammit. *staggers, going pale*
*looks at morning daylight streaming into bedroom* Evening, Nix.
Actually, it's night for me. Fancy a moonlight walk
*swipes knife at Star*
*looks at Nix and Star*
are you two having fun?
or do you knead me to join?
*jumps backwards out of reach of knife* *stabs sword at Nix*
Ah, I finally feel like a worthy opponent.
I had... I was... Uh... I dunno...
Sleeping? Well, I'm supposed to now anyway!!!! Happy Valentine's Day!!!!
*Looks away as thoughts of Ian pops into head*
"I do it coz I knead the dough."
^^^Artemis Fowl and the Eternity Code. OMGG I loved that book *sobs*
*twists out of the way of the sword*
Worthy is underestimating me just a little there, don't you think?
*moves quickly, leaps through the air and lands behind Star*
http://letspartytillwerepurple.blogspot.com/
*hugs Death*
he'll be ok!
Dr Nye can fix him up!
I said FEEL LIKE.
*swings sword round towards Nix, hard and fast*
*has two minutes*
Darn it for getting the after dinner cleaning job... -_- Takes the longest to finish. But happy blogversary, L! And happy Valentine's Day everyone! Will post something on my random blog after I finish the cleaning! Not the one with missing letters... The other one.
*has to go now*
Bye!
*ducks underneath and swings knife at Star's knee*
ah I can't spell very well ok! don't judge!
so do you want me to join you fight?
*jumps high above knife* *falls awkwardly* OWWWWWWWWWWWW MY ANKLE. D:
*can feel ethermelt beginning to wear off*
LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAV! *tacklehugs* HOPE TO SEE YOU SOON! :)
*stands up straight*
You alright there Stario?
Up to you Misty
Hi Lav!
JOIN IF YOU WANT TO, DON'T IF YOU DON'T.THOSE ARE THE RULES OF THE FIGHTING WON'T.
Whatness?8frowns* Sleepy . . .
ah I want some fun!
*runes at Nix and pulls out sword*
*takes another drink out of flask* FINE. *glares* *jumps up, standing on one leg*
fun! fun! fun!
*swings sword at Nix*
*looks at Misty*
Are you up for it?
*ducks under sword, matrix style*
*flips backwards and looks at Star and Misty*
yep!
I am!
*is bandaging foot*
Shall we team up Star?
*tilts head, considoring* Ah, I'm all tingly. Ethermelt. Can't concentrate. You decide.
*lunges at Misty, swinging left knife and bring right knife upwards*
... right then
*runs for Nix and dose a fake strike at his stomach then flips over him and slashes at his back*
*tries charging at Nix again, almost-invisible fast*
*dose a back flip do avoid Nix's slashes*
*spins past Star*
*has Star on one side, Misty on the other*
Hm...
*becomes a where of a scratch on jaw*
hey you nicked me!
I go high and you go low!
*swipes sword at Nix's neck*
*sweeps my leg at Nix's, hoping to trip him up*
*kicks off the ground backwards*
*sword cuts forhead*
*lands heavily, rolls and comes up crouching, bleeding heavily from the head*
*growls*
Don't want to do that
:D
aww don't I?
*half-heartedly mumbles 'that that that' under breath, not really thinking that well*
*kicks at Nix*
*starts to circle Nix*
*stumbles back*
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