For most of my life, I had no interest. I didn't want to read about some made-up place that never existed and people running around with swords and elves and trolls and dragons and whatnot. I wanted stories set in reality, in the modern day. Fantasy films were fine, but I only had to spend two hours watching those. Reading a fantasy book was altogether different.
I never read The Lord Of The Rings. My brother did, and whenever he spoke about it I could sense the frustration in his voice whenever he talked about the endless songs and silliness. I liked the movies, of course. Well, I liked the parts in the movies where they focussed on the humans. Hobbits I could do without.
And then I read a review of a book called The Blade Itself by Joe Abercrombie. The review said this book had blistering action and fascinating characters and the whole thing was held together by acerbic wit. And that was the thing. Wit. Humour. For me, fantasy books just seemed so incredibly po-faced, like they took themselves way too seriously.
So I picked up The Blade Itself, and I loved it. I loved everything about it. I loved every single thing about this book and it was fantasy, so I asked myself— what else have I been missing out on? And the series that was recommended by quite simply everyone was George RR Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice— which later became known as the Game of Thrones books, thanks to the TV show. So I read that, and I loved it. I read the next one and the next one and the next one. I loved them all.
All this is a (very) roundabout way of introducing Curse of Kings, by Alex Barclay.
Alex is a friend of mine. She's a crime writer by day, and has recently become a fantasy author by night. I love her crime novels. I never know what the hell is going on until the final few pages, and I am technically in love with her main character, Ren Bryce. Ren Bryce is the most awesome woman in the world, and I don't care that she doesn't actually exist. She exists for me, and that's what matters.
Alex's crime novels are thoroughly modern and laced with one-liners and sarcastic asides, so when she told me she was writing a fantasy novel for younger readers, I was thrilled.
(Unless she's reading this blog. If you're reading this, Alex, I wasn't thrilled. I was the opposite of thrilled. I was un-thrilled. I was de-thrilled. It takes a lot more than YOU to thrill ME ands that's no mistake. Damn right. Darn tootin'. I'm going to stop talking about this now. Hell yeah.)
Curse of Kings has it all. It has kingdoms and heroes and villains and secrets and mysteries and swords and killing and monsters and monsters and monsters. Did I mention it has monsters? It does. Lots of them. And they're all... weird. Oh, and the book also has lamprey eels. Do yourself a favour. Search Google Images for lamprey eels. Go on, I'll wait. Just type it in and take a look... go on...
Yes. There are things THAT disgusting in real life.
I'm not going to go into detail about the Big Mystery in Curse of Kings, because even mentioning what the mystery hinges on could spoil it for you, and I wouldn't want to do that. Hopefully it'll take you as much by surprise as it did me.
And if all that doesn't convince you, take a look at one of the coolest book trailers I've seen in a long time. And pay attention to the man whose quote they use on the cover. He sounds like he knows what he's talking about.
4,950 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 3001 – 3200 of 4950 Newer› Newest»Bye Fabi!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't quote me! *hides*
I make an effort, but Scáth's deds are AMAZING! Don't you all DARE say mine are like hers! :P
I have a headache this morning. I've tried lying here hoping it will go away, but it hasn't worked. I suppose this headache is entirely my fault. -_-
*AWAY
*tries to scowl at head* *fails*
Ah well. Star will survive. :)
*hums the Comfortably Numb cover*
*wonders when peopleness will start coming on*
Huh? Who was that...?
DEATHLES!
STARLES?
. . . Owwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I don't think staring at my phone is helping . . .
Msd.
YESSLES?
Does anyone know where Kes has gone... I haven't seen her in forever...
Do you like Ian?
*Is confused*
Oh...
That's not good... Sorry, shouldn't have asked...
*Shrinks down*
Not sure if I'm allowed to tell people, but after last night, to email Mara and tell her would be insensitive.
We can't talk about it here.
*chews lip nervously*
*ask her
*shakes head* No, you were right to ask. :)
*Hald smiles half grimaces*
I think I should put a photo of me as my profile pic for a bit...
Ugh... A not so flattering photo of myself...
BACK.
hi!
YOU'RE PRETTY, THOUGH. :/
*moans and clutches head* Dammit. My phone screen is definately making my headache worse . . .
Hi!
Oh, it lessened . . .
Yay! Less of a headache!!!!!!!
My little brother is trying to make me eat the rest of the fish & chips... Evil little thing...
J'adore fish and chips . . .
How much is there left? :)
A lot... Usually I'd eat them but I'm feeling sick... Damned high metabolism...
:/
I hate it when my mum turns off the wifi when I'm talking to you guys...
That was yesterday, by the way.
HULLO ALL!!
HI CAIN!
Ikr? That often happens to me . . .
*sighs and presses temples* Damn headache.
I had a slight headache today, because it was too damn hot
But I've got my milkshake size water cup thingy next to me, so I'm fine. For now...
Could somebody go to the MC site and publish my chapter? It's in the comments of the latest chapter.
Ah, my headache will just be fron all my YouTube yesterday. *nods*
How hot is it there? :)
*chews* I'm . . . not sure I can, being on my phone . . .
It was 41 freakin degrees today.
?
HOT!
If you hadn't noticed... I'm gone.. Sorry...
Awww. :(
Bye Death!!
Yeah, very hot, indeed...
Or can somebody make me an admin?
Because i'm always getting other people to post it for me.
:(
FOURS DEATH!
*sighs as wrist starts hurting* I swearx my body is ganging up on me.
You don't need to be an admin to post stuff! You just need to be an author!
*grumbles*
I think my headache is getting worse..,
*…
Maybe my uniform is adding to the problem, with it being so uncomfortable.
I just listened to Warrior, and now my headache is worse but I feel happier and calmer. :)
Um. Get in the shade? :/
I'm in the shade. I'm in my room...
Brb.
:/
I've never been really hot in my room. This summer things got hot when I left them in the sun in my room and I was just like O_O
We only really get proper hot weather on holiday . . .
Ask someone more used to heat? :/
Go outside in the shade and get fresh air? :/
BACK!
Meh. I've got homework and I like my wifi. It's lovely.
But I've turned on my fan, so I should be alright.
*wonders if I should open window*
*shrugs, and opens it anyway*
There's meant to be thunderstorms today, as well as 41 degrees. I mean, I hate the heat, but love thunderstorms.
But no rain yet, although it is very gray-cloudy-ish...
Sun is in the sky oh why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?
Sun is in the sky oh why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?
When you look with your ey-y-yes
Everything seems ni-i-ice
But then you look twi-i-ice
And you see it's all li-i-ies . . .
Ich liebe thunderstorms too!
Fans are awesome. *nods*
*slams head against desk*
Dammit dammit dammit.
I left my stupid Science homework in my locker and it's due tomorrow!!
*slams head against desk several more times*
*groans*
Brb, dinner...
There's a little old lady she was walking down the road she was struggling with bags from Tesco
There're people from the city having lunch in the park I believe that is called al fresco
Then a kid comes along, to offer a hand but before she has time to accept it
Hits her over the head doesn't care if she's dead coz she's got all her jewellry and wallet
Youuuuuu miiiiiight laugh you mmight frown
Waaaaaaaalkiiiiiiiiing round London town
Sun is in the sky oh why oh why would I wanna be anywhere else . . .
:/
Now I'm glad our school doesn't have lockers . . .
How strict's your Science teacher?
See you soon! :)
Look! I'm building bridges and being sociable!
It was a while since you made me this, but I wanted to let you know that it reached me safe and sound
http://pleasenotanotherone.blogspot.co.uk/
WHY does it say on my Blogger dashboard that this was posted 14 minutes ago??? The disappoitment :'(
Back.
Our Science teacher isn't exactly strict... but she's kinda strict.
Get me?
I'm just going to have to start again...
Hullo Adonael!
Hullo Rose!
:(
That sucks. Could you do it, like, at lunch tomorrow or something?
I don't know...
*checks timetable*
Nope. It's first thing of the day.
Exactly how I feel: :(
*looks at my wall with my posters*
They give me, erm, strength to, um, carry on... I think...
ASDFGHJKL I GOT A NEW POSTER TODAY :D
http://pleasenotanotherone.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/15-get-really-cool-autograph.html
This link will work better. Just thought it'd be nice to see that I got your autograph. Thanks.
SO SORRY FOR DISAPPEARING! :(
It wasn't even my fault this time. *nods*
I shoulda
I shoulda
Oh!
I shoulda kissed you!
I shoulda
I shoulda
Oh!
I shoulda kissed you!
*feels bad for poofing*
Hello?
I would say hi but I'm going in like two seconds. :/
*hi,
Aww thats ok :)
*nods* Sorry. :(
Its ok I need to go aswell :)
. . . Yeah . . . Gtg now. :(
Snow day AGAIN
New MC chapter! *tacklehugs everyone* You're all amazing! *runs away because I'm in school*
Si shall the Golden God speak today? I hope
Hello?
Hello, monkey squirrels!
Hey sev :D
How are you, Mel the Monkey Squirrel?
Rainbow monkeys
Rainbow Monkey Squirrels.
I is working on a chapter with an Aussie named Death but she seems to sleep a lot...damn Aussie times!
But i did write a new MC chapter
Bye!
I have to go now
Sorry im getting ready for a party and I will be very distant :)
Faeris Wile is not a nice person. She's also a really good addition to the MC. [is plotting]
Ah.
Hi Mel! Hi Zaf!
Bye Sev!
Yellows?
Hello....
Hi Ieni!
I'm distant, but somewhat here.
Yesterday, I felt like I was faking being sick, today I feel like I'm faking being better...
Mara!!
*tackles*
Hey, Fabi! Hi Mara! *ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
Fabi:( Hope you feel better soon:)
Hi, Mara.
[Facepalm]
I thought I'd emailed you and Ember last night, but I'd typed it up and forgot to hit send.
Oh, well. It doesn't really work anymore anyway.
*is tackled* *laughs* I wasn't missed THAT much, was I?
Um, I wanted to say sorry for everything... :/ I'm a screwed up person but being here with you guys, it helps me a lot. So thank you. *smiles* *hugs everyone*
Thanks, Ieni. I am better, better than Friday. I think I'm getting better at getting better! [Nods like this makes total sense]
[hugs back]
Mara, we're all here for you.
*hugs Mara*- once we have founded Ninja Aeroplane Cooperations and taken over the planet and made Ireland the head power, all will be good:)
It does make sense, Fabi (I think)
Course Mara! And all of us Minions are crazy! Eh well Becky managed to exceed THAT by a lot but hey she's her own type of species
And I'm so thankful, Fabigail :) *hugs extra specially tight*
Ieni - Cause we're just awesome like that :3
Zaf - Oh, we all know about Becky's species... *laughs*
Of course we are awesome *nods*
OMG WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF EVENTUALLY WE ALL EVOLVE INTO A BECKY SPECIES AND THE HUMAN RACE WILL BE WIPED OUT AND THE UTTER CHOAS ON THE PLANET NOOOOOO.
Im back! But only for like 15 mins :)
Oh, a side note. I am disappearing for about a week starting Saturday. Super classified covert mission. Actually, no. I'm visiting relatives. Apparently I'm too tall to be recruited by the CIA. I'm not sure where I picked up this fact. At any rate, my grandparents and some of my uncles and aunts barely use the internet, so it's doubtful whether or not they have a working network. Also, I will probably be surrounded by a bunch of people talking in rapid French that I can only understand a few words of and reminiscing about before I was born, or when I was six and vomited on their shoes...
At any rate, I'm going to be here less to not at all for a week, and it does not mean that I have exploded.
Hey, Mel! *ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
Ooo...what type of party are you going to? (I read the comments up there *points upwards*)
NOOOOOOOOOOO FABI, I FEEL YOUR PAIN!
Is your aunt and uncle called Beryl and Fergus by any chance...?
Hmm...I'll probably forget that and then start thinking/worrying you've exploded some time next week.
Okay Fab! I'll miiiiiss yoooouuuuu D:
Wb, Mel!
Ieni- Good, it's been a while since I made sense.
[Makes note to escape to Mars to live with little sister]
Mara- [Hugs back even mre]
Zaf- Being crazy is part of our glamour. We're just awesome that way.
(The word glamor looks more glamorous with a u in it! That wasn't an accidental typo from hanging out with non-Ameri minions! O.O)
Im waiting in hope today I can talk to Derek xD
Oh my god I forgot to make sure I leave space for my other Scepter of The Ancients book that is taking a holiday to Ireland xD I made room for TMS
*more
No, but I have a cousin named Carol and an uncle named Derek. No Ferguses in my family, but I wouldn't be surprised of there's a Beryl somewhere in my Mom's Dad's family.
Its my friends birthday so its her party :) I got her a lot of useless and pointless gifts that are completely random , like I got her a pillow, and I wrapped it. Its a proper pillow an everything, I also got her some toothbrushes, a monkey hat, a picture of me, and other stuff :) because Im the greastest friend ever :P
Zaf - I'm so jealous of you going to Ireland, but I really hope you enjoy it and you really deserve to see Derek there:)
OMG THAT'S AWESOME! *nods* Any relatives called Skulduggery...?
...
...
Oh, thought not.
Wbd, eating :)
*steals Mara's food*
*steals the food Ieni stole*
leni my BOOK went to Ireland xD shush dont get Derek's hopes up! In still stuck in the USA
Yes, but I swear you said, you were going there yourself?
Nope, no ghastly, Tanith, China or any of them.
I do have an uncle Fletcher, but his last name is Fletcher, not his first, and he's not even technically my uncle.
Val's going to Ireland.
Okay, Mara. Happy food!
MYYYY FOOD! *wails* *has temper tantrum*
Val is im not
Now I am gonna be at a signing in Dublin via Skype, NJ is Skyping me so i can terrify Derek from the safety of my home
Eep!
I am either going distant or gone, not sure!
Alright Fabigail! :( *hugs*
Ah...okay. My bad:(
I'm watching a Derek Q&A. This is amusing.
Okay so what if Derek doesnt kill me off? I would laugh so hard
Mara that was nice food :)
AND NOW I MUST GO!
So bye everyone!
leni gimme link?
Bye Mel! *hugs*
YOU OWE ME FOOD.
I hope I'm in Book 8.... *crosses fingers*
Bye Mel!
I gtg too..
Ciao! May bbl!
I don't know D: It's on Tumblr and I can't copy it. I'M SORRY:(
Bye Mel and Fabi *waves*
Hmm...I'm really not progressing with this homework...
Bye Fabigail! *hugs* :(
Bleh okay
*sits waiting*
Master Deeeeereeeek
I really am in the mood for a good Derek-Chat... *ponders*
Gah, sorry I disappeared - my mum decided to lecture me about what A-levels I want to do. I'm sorry, but I haven't even started my GCSEs *sulks*
Well either at 5pm or 10pm llets see what he does xD I actually am in the mood he hasnt visited Blogland in AGES
Is that your time? Or his time?
His time
So that's in about 5 minutes...
And hen 10pm is quite a few hours and I'll probably not be on then and miss him:(
Ah, well. I may possibly survive another day...
Hey dudes!!
He seems to post on Mondays so....if he doesnt
Ahem....pitch forks
Hey, Rim *hugs*
Hai Rim!
Hey! Sorry that I'm not Derek... I sort of came in at a tense time ;D
Meh tis okay Derek is hiding
He may be scared of our craziness...
Or fear if he does appear, Becky will automatically come.
Yeah.
I remember having hour long sessions of summoning Derek. They never worked :D
Becky has been quiet so...
Maybe she killed him! OH MY GOD BECKY KILLED DEREK
DEREEEEEEK.
COMMMMME OH LORD OF GRACIOUSNESS.
Oh Master Derek enlighten Minions with your prescense
Maybe she could no longer face Harmpine.
*prods Derek*
I'm going to try the only summining chant I know.
Santo Rita Mita Meada Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora The Explorer Santo Rita Mita Meada Ringo Jonah Tito Marlon Jack La Toya Janet Michael Dumbledora The Explorer!!!!!
...
*smacks Derek with Cheddar Cheese*
My headache is nonexistant unless I listen to music.
*wants to listen to music, because apparently my head is self-harming*
Oh, my headache's coming back (very mildly) and I'm not listening to anything . . .
MEH. THEORY FAILEDDDDDD. UNLESS THE RADIATOR, WHICH IS ON AND I'M RIGHT NEXT TO IT, COUNTS AS MUSIC. *stares at radiator suspiciously*
Well, it isn't making very GOOD music. *nods'
HI!
Amazing chant Rim. *claps*
Hi Star! :)
Thanks Mara.
Hey Star!
First?
Staaaaaaaaaaaaaar!!!!!!!!!!! *ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
:( I hope your headache goes away:(
I've been listening to Disturbed again and reading Gone...
G2g - dinner *waves*
Gaah
MARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Did you hear about the 1D movie thingy? :)
I got first with a Goddamn spelling mistake...
Damn.
Hetalia?
I'm deleting it. I gotta go now.
SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE DED!!!
Bye!
IENIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. *ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
MWAH HA HA! I would like to say this is part of my evil plan, but the truth is, you're just very very awesome. :P
YES. YES I DID. I SAW EVVVERYTHING.
IT COMES OUT FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! ASDFGHJKLYGXZJLHLSU JZU/?!6-IFM¢^®¥o_O*§¿₩€^\£`\£¡Zj€₩₩₩£^ kcdyld<3:-D:'(<3§\€¢^¢€¢:-Xo_O:-@?8#7@;ghsjcahgd
I pressed random buttons on my phone. *nods*
Bye Rim!
Anyone want deds before Mara take them? :P
FOURS RIMNESS!
Wbd, writing MC :)
Not especially. I could dredge up something if I had to, but if you want them, I'm Liberated.
*realises I spelt liberated with a capital* *laughs*
I was thinking of the song Liberate as I wrote it . . .
THAT'S SO AWESOMENESS MARA!!!!!
Okay Star :) I'll try to write something then...
ME AND MY BESTIE CIARA ARE GOING TO SEE IT :3 DIRECTIONER BUDDIES YEAHHHH BUDDY! XD
I STILL have Tears Don't Fall stuck in my head.
Tears Don't Fall must be evil, because my headache worsened, and TDF's inside my head so it could be banging my head with axes like the dwarves in Once Upon A Time have.
THAT SOUNDS AWESOME FOR YOU. :)
I am here!
Again!
Rejoice!
I ded, firstly, to friendship.
Friendship is a wonderful thing. If there was no friendships, there would be no Blogland. There would most definitely be a blog, but it wouldn't be like a chat room. It'd be like an ordinary blog... *shudders*
I've lost a lot of friends. Some came back, some... didn't. But I have all you guys, and hopefully you won't leave me... If you did, it'd be all me though. So thank you for being there for me :)
This ded is pretty bad compared to Star's or Luci's, but I hope it's good enough.
I ded to MAHU, SPPB, the 1D3D movie and One Direction, all my Blogfamily, and Little Mix.
And the MC, of course :)
STOP ACTING LIKE MY DEDS ARE ANYTHING, GODDAMMIT. XD
It was a GREAT ded, Mara. :)
Derek, CAN YIU JUST GIVE US THE INITIALS OF BOOK EIGHT?
PLEASE
YOU*
WHAT IF THE TITLE WAS:
Skulduggery Pleasant: Playing with Fire With The Faceless Ones, During Dark Days Gaining Mortal Coil while Being Attacked By The Death Bringer in the KIngdom Of the Wicked.....
STAR YOUR DEDS ARE AMAZAYN.
Thanks Star(: *hugs*
THEY'RE NOT AMAZAYNNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!! but thank you anyways. :)
HI FLAME! That would be an EPIC EPIC title. *nods*
Bye!
Math class :(
:( FOURS PERSEPHONE!
Bye Seph! *hugs*
STAR DON'T DO A MARA ON IT. THAT'S MY JOB. *pouts*
I love Derek.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=1I_O0MXesWA#!
Just thought I'd mention it.
BUT THEY AREN'T! I MEANS IT!
Scapegrace, poor lad.
Actually lady! He's a lady now.
*cracks up*
Hi Star
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