Well... that was fun.
My first time on Twitter proved to be something of an avalanche. You know, in a "oh my god run run run" kinda way.
I'll be using it to tell little stories here and there. Some of them will be Skulduggery related, some of them won't- such as the cute little axe murderer story from Saturday night. Some of them may even be related to the series I'll be writing AFTER Skulduggery. Ooooooh! (But I don't know about this. I literally just thought of that right there.)
I'd like to be able to post stories quite regularly, but I'm not committing myself to anything right now. Neither am I going to be using Twitter in the normal way. Instead, I'll be typing with my toes.
No, wait, that's not what I mean. I mean, I have rules. RULES! And they shall not be broken!
RULE 1: I SHALL NOT FOLLOW!
I only follow two people, and both of those just happen to be attractive lady fighters. That's a pure coincidence, I swear.
My point is, I am not going to open up Twitter every day and see a thousand different streams of tweets from a thousand different people. This will EAT UP MY TIME, and I cannot allow this to happen.
RULE 2: I SHALL NOT RETWEET!
I've seen requests for retweets on Ronda Rousey's page, and people actually get annoyed when she doesn't do it. I'm going to cut this off at the knees before it even gets started— no RT's for me.
RULE 3: I SHALL NOT REPLY!
Again, people get annoyed if you don't reply. They think you're being rude or disrespectful. They think you're ignoring them. While all these things are quite true, replying to everyone is just impossible. Also, it will EAT UP MY TIME. And I need my time for doing the thing you want me to do. Which would you rather— that I write more books, or reply to your tweets?
No, I can't do both. I can't. Shush. Shuttup. Stop. You're making this worse. Quiet. Shhhhhhhhhh.
And here it is, the final and most important rule of all.
RULE 4: I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BREAK ANY OF THESE RULES AT THE SLIGHTEST WHIM.
I have spoken.
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FIRST! *sneezes* oh God...
*hands skulcake to herself* Wow... No one is on...
WELL.
Derek, I just wanted to sincerely say thank you for what you said on Saturday here. You're truly an inspiration which sounds really really really stupid) but it's true. You're my idol, and one day when I meet you, I shalt make you a skulcake.
*raises glass* hear hear
Do you just LURK here? Is that what you do? You just lurk in the shadows like some kind of ninja and then spring the ambush if I ever get too close?
You are WEIRD.
*looks around* seriously, bro- OH. People are probably in school over there..... *giggles* but not in Americaaaaa
I truly am a wonderful human bean.
Derek! No no! There's a time difference, it's 8:50 over here, and I just happened to come on...
I'm not THAT weird.
hi though! *gives the Doctor-Derek a skulcake*
Skulcakes make me forgive your ninja-like sneakiness.
And they also remind me I haven't had lunch yet. TO THE KITCHEN!
(bye Adrasdos!)
BY THE WAY, my mom says hi. She thinks you're awesome also :P
(wait, I can type for myself, dear....yes, she lurks....:-)
SEE she commandeered my computer...
BYE DEREK!!!!
Agh. Are you saying I missed a new post because of SCIENCE REVISION?
Seriously?
I never do work and the one time I do..
Grr...
*sulks*
IENI!!!! *hugs* HI! How are you!!! (and yes, school ruins your life. I know from experience)
And Adra - about being in school?
In England we has lots of fluffy snowy, which means we get a day off school, in which to build cool snowmen with.
Ah, lifesigns!
*ninjaeroplanetacklehugs* Adra.
I'm good thanks, well still a bit -_- about missing a new post down to Science revision, but MEH and it cooooold. Still my snowman was utterly cool. It was. You?
I'm home from school. In A'mrrica we have Martin Luther King Day.... So no school. But it is lightly snowing outside and really cold
Ah...you changed profiles.
Ah, nice. We did about him last year and then this year I was the only one who knew about Rosa Parks and the Bus Boycott, because everyone else is rubbishy like that.
And then the teacher was saying that America is less racist than us, because they've had a black president and we haven't, so I said we must be less sexist that America, because we had a female Prime Minister and then everyone got confused at what I said, but it was really obvious...
HOW DID I MISS THIS!?
Hello. :D
AH, yeah that is true... Well, there's really no way to judge a country unless you ask all the people, and take a percent... And as for the female president/ prime minister thing??? Yeah, it'll be hard for America to break the tradition. WE almost did, though.
(nice snowman, by the way)
CAIN!!!!!!!!!! *tacklehugs* OHMIGOSH
*is tacklehugged*
HELLO THERE ADRA!!!
*laughs* Fair enough then, Derek.
I NEED TO PRE-ORDER TMS SOMEONE REMIND ME!
66 DAYSSSS!
CAIN, WE HAVEN'T SPOKEN IN FOREVER!!!!
Hey... Hey, remember that one time, when we were at Sparky's theme park????
Derek! :D You have no idea how much your lovely little axe murderer story kept me entertained (and a little scared, but ssh) and I didn't really expect you to reply to my tweet, but, you know...I still tweeted you :')
Miss Cain! *ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
Clover!
*ninjaeroplanetacklehugs*
How are you both?
Ah, thanks Adra:D
Hmm - g2g now. Byebye *waves*
LUCE! *hugs* TMS??
I SHALL REMIND YOU L!
SP BOOK BUYING BUDDIES OF SOME SORTS UNITE!!
AND LOOK AT THE COMMENT ABOUT NINJAS THAT DEREK WROTE!
STALKING NINJAS XD
BYE IENI!
HI EMILY!
I remember, Adra... :D
...The Maleficent Seven...
38 DAYS UNTIL KOTW NEW PB!
WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
And we went on that one coaster... xD
OH. Right. Sorry, Luce. No one has really been talking about it.. Or using the acronym, for that matter...
THE COASTER WAS AWESOME!
Oh my Finnicking Golden gods, *laughs* Ninja Stalkers! XD
Thanks, Cain!:D
Adra... People are weird. It's one of the few things I've been talking about... LOTS OF TANGUINE C:
Hi everyone... my lunch has been delayed until now, so I am going to eat, but I HAD to say hello to Adrasdos' mum- or MOM, as it were.
BIIIIIG WAVE!
and now lunch.
HI/BYE DEREK!!
NINJA STALKERS ARE COOL!!!!!!!
I think I fell out at one point, when the cart was upside down... Nix and I were just sitting there, I think... AH, those were the days.
And I, under no circumstances, ship Tanguine. Ghanith is my OTP andknowingDerekthey'reprobablygoingtodie
TANGUINE.
I actually can't wait for Tanguine... XD
BUT I WANT TO SEE SOME DARSARD.
SOME.
A LITTLE LITTLE LITTLE PIECE OF DARSARD.
CUZ IT'S COOL.
OH Jeez... Derek, my mom/mum just started laughing so hard, she fell to the floor, saying she imagined you doing the Forrest Gump wave.... And that it was highly entertaining.
Hello/bye, Landy!
VALGUINE IS BETTER THAN TANGUINE, BUT I'LL SETTLE FOR TANGUINE C:
Steak is still perfect. BUT TANITH IS REMNANTY-FIED AND I HOPE SHE STAYS THAT WAY BECAUSE BAMF
I SHIP TANGUINE, MISS CAIN! We're not alone! :D
LUCE, YOU'RE OTP'S ARE SO STRANGE.
*flies around in in her TARDIS*
But fortunately, my one true love remains myself.
Oh my God.
SO many screenshots to take of Derek's Twitter life...
Hello all! Writing a new chapter for MC at the moment. It is not at all how I expected it to be... But I'll be poofing now, as I have breakfast to eat, exams to study for, and as always, more to write! Cheers!
*grins* My otps, you say? Oh, they consist of...
Chinduggery
Chinith
Steak
Tanguine
Harmpine
Valith
And Thrashgrace. C:
My OT3 is Chinduggerith:3
Brotp is Ghavel or Ghastduggery or Skulvel.
Brot3 is Ghavelduggery:3
AND I SHIP ALL THE DEAD MEN AS BROS BECAUSE THEY SO ARE C:
Bye Aretha!!! *hugs* take a skulcake with you!!!
Miss Cain, please tell me you aren't going to take a piture of every single one of them
*scoffs* You, following RULES? What a ridiculous concept.
also hi dudes and lady dudes
OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH
DEREK POSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DEREK LANDY YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION IN LIFE AND I LOVE YOUR BOOKS SO MUCH AND I WROTE A WHOLE THING A COUPLE POSTS BACK WHEN I FIRST JOINED BLOGLAND THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE REPEATING BUT
WOW WHAT IS AIR I CAN'T BREATHE
... Um....
OH WAIT. THRASHGRACE TOTALLY WORKS NOW
Not that they didn't it's... oh nevermind
OTPs are-a ringin'.
NO I MISSED DEREK *cries*
No, not every SINGLE one of them... :P
HELLO ARETHA!
HELLO BECKY!
DARSARD FTW!!
I ship Thrashgrace, but am I the only one who wasn't that keen on the gender swap?
HI ZAF!
Shut up im sulking!
GOD DAMN IT!!!
*laughs* THRASHGRACE CAN HAVE CUTE BABIES C:
Oh my Finnicking Golden gods, it'd be the cutest thing ever. AND CLARABELLE BABYSITTING *giggles*
MUST WRITE FANFIC
Hello anyone that appeared! *hugs*
*stalks Derek on Twitter BY NOT ACTUALLY JOINING TWITTER yet*
ZAF, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE. *hugs* hi
ZAFFY NO CARE :'(
What if Derek becomes addicted to Twitter? And we lose him? And he starts instagram-ing his coffee?
Luciana, I would TOTALLY read that fanfic
A. I MISSED DEREK
B. I HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT MEVOLENT
YES.
YOU MUST WRITE THAT FANFIC, L.
AND THE SKUTTLEBUGIA ONE.
AND MY HG ONE
GAH, WHY AM I SO BAD WITH FICTION!?
What if the rest of book 8... Was in txt spek???OMG tht wold b bd
This sucks my morning has been ruined
YOU JUST HAVE TO PUT YOUR MIND TO IT AND STUFF...
YEAH.
DID YOU SEE THE TWEET ABOUT THE GIST'S IN BOOK 8?!?!
The entire storyline to Book 9 is Skulduggery searching Ireland for the perfect Starbucks frappichino.
I was writing for MC then i ended up reading KOTW and i fell asleep on the chapter where Valkyrie meets Mevolent and well I think I'll spare you from scarring
NOT MY FAULT IT WAS 5am
Zaf, join me. I'm miserable because this is the first decent snow day we've had in an age and I wanted more than anything to go sledding and not a single shop has a sled.
WHY AM I NEVER ON AROUND THE TIME YOU ACTUALLY POST ON THE BLOG?!?!
Book 9:
Skulduggery Pleasant; Starbucks, an Emotional Journey.
HELLO THERE NJ!
My FanFiction username is ShegoRulz, if anyone's read my crappy Skulduggery stuff xD
NJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJNJN
ZAFZAFZAFZAFZAFZAFZAFZAFZAFZAFZAF
SKYPENOW
(and anyone else who has a skype is welcome to join us)
HUZZAH!
SKYPE!
HEYA!!
TO SKYPE I GO :D
Adra not now i need to hope to god Derek Tweets or something
HE WOKE ME UP :/
How is everyone?!?!
He tweeted to me a few minutes ago, apparently eating his lunch...
I'm goooooooooood. :D
Those sound like sensible rules.
... somehow I never thought I'd see the day when "sensible" and "Derek Landy" go together.
Although this might just be because it didn't occur to me.
Anyway. Replies are always really, really nice to get, but yeah, books/writing/life outside the computer coming first is the way it should be.
And I'm really looking forward to more stories, SP or not SP.
Cain, don't YOU have a skype???
HI KRIBU!
He woke me up :/
HAPPY LANDY?!
I have Skype, yeah...
Hmm...
Skype is really boring when the Aussies go to bed. Only English & Irish people are online and THEY'RE ALL AT SCHOOL D:
I'M STILL ON :D
But only cuz I live in Perth.
HELLO EVERYONE!!!
those are some very sensible rules Derek xP
HEY JUBI!
Hi Miss Cain!
Hi everyone else as well!
KRIBU!!!
hi.
MISS CAIN!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
@Luce, I'm not at school.
I have the day off because I have no mocks today :D
anyone got a sled/sledge i can borrow
I meant... Never mind...
Hi Jubi!
I have one... I'm probably not gonna use it at all this year because ITS PROBABLY NEVER GONNA SNOW!!!
x-(
*sighs* im awake! Thanks to Landy
ZAF!!!!!!!!
hi.
we have about four inches of snow- no sleds. i'm so disappointed because i was looking forward to sledding /so much.
Hello Jubi
Becky, if you lived up here I'd drag you with me to go sledging in the woods, IT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUSLY AMAZING AND DANGEROUS THING EVER
so much fun c:
but i live down HERE and we NEVER get snow and we have no damned sleds. wAY TO RUIN MY DAY, SHOPS
adding insult to injury, no snow's forecast anymore either hahahahahaa no
Imma get snow ON FRIDAY WHICH IS MY BIRTDAY *glances at Derek*
We should just kidnap all of Le Gang and visit Andrew in Scotland *nods*
*slinks back in the shadows of blogland*
I must go skype, and finish my reading... Grr. School.
bye! *tosses skulcakes to everyone*
BYE ADRA!
OOOOOOOOOOH
KIDNAP ME AS WELL, L!
It's so much fun to see people all excited about snow. :P
We pretty much have snow from October to April, so no one but very small children get really enthusiastic about it.
We need a Le Gang meetup. I propose Book Nine signings?
We don't get snow at all... :(
OMGG.
I think I'm obsessed with stalking now...
Yeah, I'm saving up to go to Ireland for book 9, so... :3
Ah- that won't happen for me, heh.
*pops back in for a sec*
I'm proposing to my mom to let us go back to Ireland... 2014 :D
*poofs again*
We'd need somewhere central or northern England for all of Le Gang, I doubt Andrew would be able to travel very far... D:
Hey- Skypers. If you wanna, add me. TheIrrepressibleBecky (i think).
yes that is my username well done me
yes that is my username well done me
*is in stalking mode*
I'm tentatively hoping to go to some signing later this year... provided everything works out, nothing happens that would make it impossible and all that.
And that some airline will actually bother to fly to London and/or Dublin in September. Schedules and destinations keep changing all the time and I'm really not keen on doing transfers somewhere in some random airport in some other country, especially if travelling alone.
We'll attempt lol Becky
BECKY.
ADDED.
I finally found out what mine is, yesterday
It's so simple
It's lucianascath
How did I not know that?
weeeeeeeeeeee
I'm on Skype, listening to convo cuz I can't talk cuz it's late here, and if I talk too loud, parents will here...
*hear
Actually looks likely that I'm gonna see Derek three times this year, good god.
MANCHESTER AIRPORT TENDS TO GO ALMOST ANYWHERE, KRIBU! And Manchester is an awesome city! *isn't just saying that because Manchester is a couple of hours away*
I hate airports... They're so... Airporty.
DEREK DEREK DEREK DEREK!!!!!! CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THIS FRIDAY IS? Oh and I AM COMING LANDY TO DERRY OR IN APRIL
DEREK NEEDS SKYPE. *nods*
Luce??? WE're trying to add youuu
Derek is gone... *sniffles* *cries*
Becky, you too!
I approve of this message.
But please Derek, DO follow and retweet and reply. Just do it in small dosages.
Hey Luce, I just added you to our ChatRoom bit on Skype if you wanna come on and Join our call :)
HELLO GEORGINA!
Not if this Minion can help it!
LANDY COME I HAVE CHEDDAR CHEESE AND SKULCAKES
Derek should follow you or I or both, purely to open a new stalking window for us.
oh CHEESE
THAT'S WHAT YOU- OH
Luciana, I think RyanAir does do direct flights to Manchester from here, but ... as I said, things keep changing. It's only been a few months and may well end again soon. :-|
Seriously, the last couple of years pretty much everything keeps shuffled around; can't plan anything more than two months ahead these days. So annoying.
*tackles Derek* no hiding
I can't Skype right now.
My brother would kill me for even ASKING to go on Skype, so...
Oh... some other time, then... *huggles*
That's okay. Some other Time then :)
NJ WE'RE PSYCHIC
*has large silver platter of skulcakes*
Derek, if you come back on, you can have them all...
Zaf still sad we killed Derek
*hugs Kribu* I know what you mean. I live in England and I've never been to a signing despite there being one in Sheffield the other year!
If there's one in Manchester that you can go to, I'll make a special effort to go there if you like! Then you'll actually know someone other than Derek :P
I've convinced my mum to let me go to Manchester, Derby, Sheffield, York, Doncaster or any of the surrounding areas I know well, so... Fingers crossed c:
Derek should follow us just so that we can send him messages. Also because we would appreciate the concern for our information.
I'm an Ameriminion, so there's no conceivable way I could go to any of these signings...
*cries because I don't get to meet Derek*
Time for a new MC character!
Seriously, this chapter is nothing like how I planned it...
DEREK.
I SEE YOU TWEETING...
I want to go to the MK signing, but I haven't asked my parents yet and they don't really know much about what I do in my life, so I don't know, but I probably need to stop putting it off D:
HI IENI!
HI KAL!
HELLO IENI C:
HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL KALLISTAAAAA! *hugs*
DEREK.
COME ON THE BLOG.
I CAN SEE YOU TWEETING...
...Ah, rules, rules are important...
...Guess I'll be working out my context stuff myself...damn my perfectionism, I always need as much as possible to be contextually correct, the only exception being a Scapecain piece that's set in an alternate reality anyway...
Hey look, I blabbered and went off topic again...*goes back to Twitter to stare at conversations she'll never be part of*...I'm only supposed to camp there for stories...
...I talk too much about nothing...Oh well, happy time.
HEY MALEFICENT!
I'm good, Kal. Yourself?
Hm, I was looking forward to questions. Oh well, here's hoping rule 4 is your favorite.
Hi blogland!
Hiiii! *crazy wave*
HI KINGBIRDY!
Luciana, I have some friends in the London & Cambridge area, so unless I'd head for Ireland instead, I'd probably aim for somewhere in that part of England.
Especially as a trip like that would be a multi-day thing, so it means hotels vs staying with friends, and hotels don't come cheap either...
I'm really tempted by Ireland, though. I've been to the UK a couple of times before but never to Ireland, so that would be a good way to cross another country off my "where I've been" map.
Fairy nuff!
Apparently Ireland is really nice! You could visit O'Connell Street!:D
I REALLY need to go to Ireland!:3
ADRA IS SO TYPICALLY AMERICAN!
I KNOW, L!!!
Hi Kallista!
Busy with work but work is boring, so... :D
Luciana, yeah. Seriously, if there is a direct flight to Dublin at that point (there sometimes is but it's been off and on over the last few years so no guarantees), I'm probably going to aim for that.
Unless something gets in the way, as it often does. :-|
Aah so apparently Zaffy is laughing hysterically
Omg, Zaf
What the hell
*laughs*
Well, Luce... I AM american, so... :P
Guys... There's a song called Moustache Rap...
I'm not going to lie, it's pretty amusing...
*Mustache
I know. :)
KALLIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *runs and jumps into her arms* HIIIIIIIIII
BUT DEREKKKKKK, I ASKED YOU AN IMPORTANT QUESTIONNNNNNNN.
I need to get in contact with you for Ireland.
HI VAL!
I spent about five minutes trying to found a way to express my extrene annoyance wiyh myself, then gave up; I forget I was meant to wait at the swimming pool today. GAH, is all I can say. GAH. And no, that does not solve my expressing-my-utter-utter-annoyance problem.
And triple GAH because I was like the only one of the Bloglandians who don't live in ridiculous places like Aus who was at school today. *cries*
Despite it being very snowy, we were at school. GAHHHHHHH.
. . . And yes, okay, England's ridic too, but in a different way to Aus so it i'n't ridic LIKE AUS, itms. :)
The bright side is, if somebody gives me step-by-step instructions, I'll try Skyping you people for a bit now if you want. :) If them lot come home I will suddenly stop Skyping.
Am I forbidden to Skype you? No idea. Haven't asked, and don't want to, coz I'm like that.
[Reserves a spot on the first page.]
[Greets everyone hi and bye]
[Is not here]
[Is at school now, waiting for history speech to begin]
Msd
HELLO STAR!
HELLO FABI!
*I spent about five minutes trying to find a way to express my extreme annoyance with myself without swearing, then gave up;
Haven't been on my phone all weekend, blame my typos on that. :)
YOU DID WHAT!!! Tweeted? is that not what the birdies do ? Pah I don't understand Tweeter nor will I! I swear by all that is holey mainly my right sock (just by the big toe, where my boots rub!) that I will not now nor will I ever tweet...It's just fundamentaly W R O N G...... :) that said hmm..... wanders off cogitating.
HI KATH!
Hi Fabi, hi Cain!
I could not find a way to be on my phone at school other than lunch and break, Fabi. :/
Well, maybe in Maths, but . . .
Hi, Missy!
Star-anything you need for MC before I go?
Don't think so . . .
I have a small break while they try to seat everyone in the assembly room. Speech starts in 2 minutes...
Ok, just checking.
Gtg now, they're introducing Ms. P.
Bye!
SORRY FOR BEING DISTANT!
WRITING!:3
*glances at clock* If anyone wants to Skype me, DO IT NOW.
I have a page of maths homework... :(
Wbd.
I sincerely hope you break all of these rules (: and a new series? Fantastic! I don't think I'll ever be ready to say goodbye to your writing (:
BYE FABI!
HI MARA!
New MC chapter! New MC character, too! I had a whole plan for how my next chapter was going to be, and it was awesome- but then this happened. I dunno, Rosa just popped into my head this morning and I couldn't get her out. So here she is, taking over my storyline... I hope you guys like her as much as I do!
HI HARRIET!
Ooooh.
First...
I DEDICATE TO SKYPE AND SKYPE ALONE.
CUZ IT'S COOL.
WOAH WOAH DEREK BACK UP THE TRUCK. NEW SERIES?! *screams*
Well, that chapter is rather long... It kind of had to be, though. I had a certain amout of plot I had to cover, and Rosa just kept getting sidetracked...
GOOD DED ON THIS PAGE. SKYPE IS GOOOOD.
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