Well... that was fun.
My first time on Twitter proved to be something of an avalanche. You know, in a "oh my god run run run" kinda way.
I'll be using it to tell little stories here and there. Some of them will be Skulduggery related, some of them won't- such as the cute little axe murderer story from Saturday night. Some of them may even be related to the series I'll be writing AFTER Skulduggery. Ooooooh! (But I don't know about this. I literally just thought of that right there.)
I'd like to be able to post stories quite regularly, but I'm not committing myself to anything right now. Neither am I going to be using Twitter in the normal way. Instead, I'll be typing with my toes.
No, wait, that's not what I mean. I mean, I have rules. RULES! And they shall not be broken!
RULE 1: I SHALL NOT FOLLOW!
I only follow two people, and both of those just happen to be attractive lady fighters. That's a pure coincidence, I swear.
My point is, I am not going to open up Twitter every day and see a thousand different streams of tweets from a thousand different people. This will EAT UP MY TIME, and I cannot allow this to happen.
RULE 2: I SHALL NOT RETWEET!
I've seen requests for retweets on Ronda Rousey's page, and people actually get annoyed when she doesn't do it. I'm going to cut this off at the knees before it even gets started— no RT's for me.
RULE 3: I SHALL NOT REPLY!
Again, people get annoyed if you don't reply. They think you're being rude or disrespectful. They think you're ignoring them. While all these things are quite true, replying to everyone is just impossible. Also, it will EAT UP MY TIME. And I need my time for doing the thing you want me to do. Which would you rather— that I write more books, or reply to your tweets?
No, I can't do both. I can't. Shush. Shuttup. Stop. You're making this worse. Quiet. Shhhhhhhhhh.
And here it is, the final and most important rule of all.
RULE 4: I RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BREAK ANY OF THESE RULES AT THE SLIGHTEST WHIM.
I have spoken.
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4,910 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1201 – 1400 of 4910 Newer› Newest»Hi, Jubi!
Hi, Zaf! That was a good one.
Mevolent! Compromising people's free will is so NOT COOL! [Glares]
Distant...working on a top secret project.
Hahaha oh well!
Hi Zaf!
BELUGA!!!!!
it's my new favorite word
Mine is fustilarian.
Hiya
H PEOPLE/BEINGS!!!!!! Mine is chlorofluorocarbons
HIYA
KILANDRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
*Jumps behind a rock*
Hahaah entertainment
JUBILANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
*conjures knife* *see the only rock in the area* Ah ha!
NO!!! I'm not behind that one!
*sits in tree*
MUHAHAHAH
*scrunches face* But...but...but there's only one rock.... *looks confused*
NO THERE'S NOT!!
[Watches with braces-friendly popcorn. Offers some to Zaf as well]
*eats popcorn*
Hmmm interesting
*steals popcorn* *tries to conjure a human searcher* *gets banana* *throws banana at Fabi* YES THERE IS!
...NO!
*whips shadows at people for fun*
Zaffy can be immature
*sees jubi in corner of eye* *throws knife*
[Steals popcorn back and eats]
[Dodges banana]
*throws banana at Zaffy*
*Ducks back behind rock before knife hits me*
[Dodges shadows.]
[Does back flip]
*enjoy's Jubi's icon*
*disappears*
uggggh! *throws several knives at jubi* *conjures bow and arrow*
*arrows
Yes, yes I know...
My profile pic is amazing
Oi Kilandra
I
AM
BEHIND
A
ROCK
you can't seee meeeee
mwaahahahahaha
*shoots at jubi in moment of distraction*
[Grabs knife that missed Jubi and bends it into a helmet.]
[Puts on helmet, looking pleased with self]
Bye, random comments!
*deflects*
Cant touch me it's assult on a Sanctuary offcial!
*dodges*
*Clemy Incinerates Kilandra*
*shoots at Clemy*
Hogwash Zaffy
Oh.
It seems I have to go.
I'll be back soonish, though.
So...
See you later!
Happy dueling!
[Vanishes]
*laughs insanly*
Whoever said I'm SANE?
*runs in squares*
BYE FABI!
Im gonna go too I got a delayed opening tomorrow and a speech in Honors first thing in the morning BLEH
YOU CANT SHOOT CLEMY!!!!!!!
she
can't
DIE
*Clemy turns into a beaver and starts attacking Kilandra*
CLEMY'S A BEAVER!!!!
Dolvamponeaver?
[Is not here]
distant, planning evil things
YES!!
Sorry for disappearing, I was watching The Abolitionists. I did a project on John Brown and Preston Brooks last year, and the beginning of this episode was about them :D
And now I have to go. *hops in the chop-choo shoe*
CHOO CHOO
the Chop choo shoe??
*Choo
GOODBYE
mwahahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Afternoon
NIX!!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
'Sup
'Sup
Wow, only ten minutes after everyone else this time...
Hi, Saph! Wbd, writing MC idea thing.
SAPH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
WARNING: Will be popping in and out at intervals that may appear random.
And as usual, I disappear JUST before someone posts a comment, and reappear six minutes after the last comment was posted...
*hugs Jubi and Fabi* HELLO! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Aloha! [hugs Saph back]
I'm a bit of a slow typer, sorry.
Hi! I'm back for a bit. :)
Oi, my computer is being stupid... IT DOESN'T UPDATE PROPERLY.
On my iPod now.
PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
Hi Lav!
[Is multitasking, csgd/msd]
Hi Lav! *hugs* wbd, I'm playing doodle god... oh I just made an alcholic...
Okay, Fabi!
Hi Jubi!
You can turn on kids safe mode...it's less depressing.
Hi Saph!
Doodle god?
Especially chapter 3.
It's this app/game where you mix stuff together to get other stuff. I played it a year or two ago, and it's in style now.
LAV!!!!!!!! FABI!!!!!!!! SAPH!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
Oh.
*adds Doodle God to list of games to buy/look at*
Hiya Jubi!
Doodle god is this game where you start with fire, water, air and earth and you mix stuff
you must create....
THE WORLD!!!
with only fire, water, and air
JUBI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*snickers, trying to hold in a laugh*
Hi. :P
Hi.
ooh, just made a zombie :D It looks way smarter than Scapegrace. Although that's not too hard
Brains! [Does zombie impersonation]
Someone once accused me of watching too many zombie movies. [Has never watched a zombie movie]
Cool, Saph. :)
*decides to take a look at it now*
Wbd.
Really, Fabi? Not a single one?
I haven't either. Mostly read about them. :P
Nope. I don't think the phantom of the opera is a zombie...
I've never seen a zombie movie, althoughmy friend's brother oonce picked out a movie for the three of us to watch that was about this evil mist that goes arouund killing pepole but can be shot with guns...
God kill my family... My brothers mainly...
*Puts iPod As loud as it will go playing 2 x 4 by Metalica*
*Puts ear buds in*
DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hi.
That's kinda stupid-sounding of a movie plot...
No offence to anyone who likes that sort of thing.
The phantom of the opera isn't a zombie. It's a phantom of course! :P (sorry. Had to be said.)
Evil mist...?
Is the app the one with a triangle and an eye in the center? Cause I got the lite version...
Hi, Death.
Yeah, that's it.
And that's why I said I don't think he counts. XD
Hi all!
*Makes plans to murder brothers*
Yeah, I kinda agree with Fabi.
Hi Death. What'd they do?
Ah, shoot. I gotta go. Bbl(again)!
*swears and kicks someone in the face*
I hate computers. They always FAIL.
Like mine. It just goes, "Oh, hey Val, having fun? Because I just HAPPEN to feel the need to kill the battery. So you can only be on the computer if its plugged in. And I won't charge your battery, or tell you HOW to charge it, right when you're in the middle of moving and your spare battery is at your old house. Yeah, see Val, aren't I so great? I'm so great I don't even need to let you have Word on here! I'll let you down loud some crappy thing instead!"
*scowls and wants to smash it*
It literally says, "Plugged in, not charging". AND IT WON'T TELL ME HOW TO FIX IT GODDAMMIT.
What kind of computer does that?! Seriously?!
Well sometimes it takes a while to start charging...
Bye, Lav!
Hi, Val!
Maybe you need a stronger adapter? How are you charging it? [Doesn't really know what I'm talking about]
Mine isn't a lap top, so I don't need to worry about charge, but the Internet goes off whenever I'm in the middle of doing something.
Computers can be really stupid. Almost as stupid as a label I saw on a Korean kitchen knife that said 'Keep out of children' *raises eyebrow* *laughs*
This is about the time I usually murder my evening piece of cheese. See y'all in a minute...
YOU KILL THAT CHEESE FABI!!!!!!!!!!!
bye
I make a joke to my little brother, 'Grammar is school, it's hell with florecent lighting,'
Little brother calls older brother. 'What'd you say?'
'A simple joke about school,' I say happily.
Older brother glares. 'TO A LITTLE KID GOINGTO THAT SCHOOL?! ARE YOU A FU*KING IDIOT?!'
I sigh. 'It is a joke everyone says in my year. And would you say that if mum was in the house?' Skeptical.
Older brother points to me bedroom. 'GO TO YOUR ROOM YOU FU*KING IDIOT!'
I smile and raise an eyebrow. 'Yes ma'am! Do you want me to spit-shine your shoes while I'm at it? Oh, wait! Your too poor to get them. You should have got a job in Tassie, mum paid for your education and you bloody flunked it all...' Sigh.
Older brother roars and I walk off into bedroom.
In bedroom, I throw everything they've ever got me at the wall...
that really sucks Death...
BUT THERE'S ALWAYS CHARLIE THE UNICORN!!!
*Laughs*
Put a banana in your ear!
Ok, and you're the one supposedly setting a bad example? [Distant, plotting to kill cheese with crackers]
PUT A BANANA RIGHT INTO YOUR FAVORITE EAR
charlie
chaaaarrlieeeeeee
cccchhaaaaaaaaaaarrrrllliiieeeeeeeeee
I'M RIGHT HERE! WHAT DO YOU WANT??!?!!!
we're on a BRIGDE charlie!!!
Yeah... Brothers are annoying...
*Sighs and plots*
*Finds banana and puts in right ear*
A magical bridge full of wonder!
Cluedo! I think Fabi killed the cheese in the kitchen with the cheeseknife and Charlie the unicorn
*sticks banana that Kilandra left in left ear*
*Points to Persian cat*
MEOW!
THE AMULET CHARLIE! THE MAGICAL AMULET!
SPARKLES SPARKLES!!!
SPARKLES!!
YAY FABI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We need you to come to the future Charlie! You need to help us catch the cheese murderer!
[Innocent look] Who, me?
*Tackles Fabi*
I GOT THE CHEESE MURDERER!!! NO NEED FOR CHARILE!!!!
[Is tackled]
But I'm innocent!
[Pulls out spaghetti sauce and threatens Death with it]
SPAGHETTI!!!!
*Falls to floor mock-gasping*
My... One... Weakness... How did you know?!
[Jumps up and runs to the BSB]
This is a really gross brand of spaghetti sauce...it would alarm anyone.
charlie ya look quite down with your big fat eyes and your big sad frown. the world doen'st have to be so greeey.
charlie when your lifes a mess, when your feelin blue always in distress. I know what can wash that sad awayyyyy
all you gotta do is
put a banana in your ear
a banana in my ear?
put a ripe banana right into your favorite ear.
It's true
says who?
so true once its in your gloom will dissapear. The bad in the world is hard to hear when in your ear abanana cheers so go and put a banana in your ear.
PUT A BANANA IN YOUR EAR
I'd rather keep my ear clear
YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY WHEN YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN FEAR.
it's true
says you
so true when its in the skies are bright and clear. oh every day of every year the sun shines bright in this big blue sphere, so go and put a banana in your EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRR
*bursts into flame*
I apologize for many spelling mistakes probably
I'M THE BOONANA KING!
Bananibals!
QUICK! THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!!!
grab hold of our TOUNGUES
*blegh*
Ewwwww...
*Looks at Fabi*
*Pulls out umbrella*
ATTACK!!!
*yawn* its gettin late... i should probably go...
BYYEE!
Bye Jubi!!!!!
*Waves*
I shall be distant!!! Reading MC and finding rat poison....
Bye, Jubi!
Sorry I poofed for a sec, pirates. Really.
You dare threaten me with an umbrella?
[bends metal frame into a blob, leaving umbrella limp]
Ok then!
I wrote 3 chapters!
Rat poison himself isn't in any of them, but Adamantha is.
Or, my dad wearing an eye patch and saying "Yar" anyway.
Hello again I poofed... :( Msd
Hi again, Saph!
If two unicorns turned up on my doorstep and told me to grab their tongues, I.... might actually do that.
I just made poison on doodle god. Let's see if it works! *Pours on Derek*
Ooops...
When I said rat poison, I meant for my brother's...
*Sighs and shakes head*
*Gets bamboo umbrella*
EN GARDE!
Poison...
[Horrified look at cheese container]
*Pulls diamond sword out of umbrella*
You poured poison on Master?!
*Attacks*
[Squirts spaghetti sauce at Death]
Gtg bye
I poured no poison!
[Blocks strike]
[Staggers]
I didn't poison the cheese... Or did I?
*Smiles evily and hides rat poison behind tree*
Bye, Saph! Thanks a lot! XD
[Vomits cheese crumbs]
*Rolls away from sauce*
Bye Sapphy!!!!
*Lunges forward and strikes*
Bend my sword now!
[Ducks under]
[Bends the metal ore deposit under Death's feet, making her stumble]
Ah, you're welcome Fabi ;) And apparently I'm not going after all.
Perhaps I was just retreating to somewhere Death can't find me while I work out the anitdote to this poison
Find it quick, Saph!
[Face is turning blue]
*Stumbles*
*Falls and plunges sword into ground*
*Flips over sword*
That was cool!!!!
BBS!!!
See you, Death, if I'm still alive...
[Gags]
distant, writing mediocre poetry.
I can't believe I only just noticed this, but I like the new name Death. My taken middle name is Aisce. It means free.
Fabi, I think it may be were-snake poison
That helps a lot!
My middle name is Vi.
Do you have an antidote? [Gasps and flails dramatically]
Ah... Death, do you have any were-pigeons you'll give to me in the knowledge that they'll become a pile of feathers?
Actually, that would be murder, so any normal pigeons I can put a symbol on?
[Gasps, chokes]
[Forces out words]
Poisoning me isn't murder?!??
And I don't have any pigeons.
Sorry Fabi. Hopefully, when Death comes back I can... is that a pigeon? *starts stalking it*
No, it wouldn't be murder, as such... manslaughter? Or maybe animal cruelty :P
Speaking of animal cruelty, I have put the symbol on the pidgeon and sprayed it with broccoli perfume (Dont ask me where I got it. It's a long story involving a really cool sword that I destroyed and monsters disguised as ants)
[Arm twitches, and flops uncontrollably]
CATCH THAT PIG[Retch]EON OR[Gasp] I'LL---[Unable to talk]
*puts pigeon in front of snake*
*Hides and watches*
My master plan is coming into action!
[Gags at broccoli perfume or poison, not sure which]
Umps!
*Umph!
Did you know that most were-animals with poison keep an antidote on them incase something happens?
*whistles innocently*
*watches snake eat pigeon*
*Snakes eyes bulge* They don't like broccoli anymore than us...
I dedicate this page to a few things:
Ninjas-cuz they rock!
My top secret plan-cuz it also rocks!
To anyone who isn't trying to kill me-for obvious reasons
To Ember and Star for letting me use their characters and not complaining.
To Mycroft and his umbrella-duh
To Lavender Hope, Aretha Tesla and anyone else who read my poetry post.
To Death, Lav, Star, Saph, Jubi, Mara, L., Eve and [insert your name here] for being awesome!
*snake spits out pigeon, which doesn't even realise it was eaten*
*snake truns into man who lies on the ground gasping*
Were-snake; I'll do anything! Just keep that thing away from me!
[Face is now indigo] [can't talk]
Darts toward were-snake, ninja sword at the ready.
Great ded Fabi!
Were-snake-thing, give me the antitode to your poisony stuff before i squirt broccoli perfume in your mouth.
*Gets antidote* There you go Fabi! Fabi? Are you still capable of moving? Or of swallowing the antidote?
[Drops ninja sword and grunts]
[Takes antidote and swallows]
[Gasps]
[Nothing happens]
[Staggers, coughs]
WHAT THE X TOOK YOU SO LONG??????????
The whole pigeon thing I guess. I'm glad I can fly.
You have an awful lot of powers...
[Still distant, writing poetry]
Not really, the flying thing comes from being an elemmental and I'm REALLY bad at it. I can't rise more than a few meters and I keep crashing into buildings :L
Wow. Just... wow. I love it.
I'm deleting it from here now, but it'll be on my blog soon...
Thanks, Saph. [hugs]
...I think I'm depressed.
Why, Val?
[Hugs]
[Offers Indigo-frosted cookie]
I don't know, I just... am. And I don't like it. It means lots of crying and stuff.
The discussion:
Maya: I hate zombies. I don't believe in zombies!
Felix: I believe in zombies.
Jordan: Zombies are cool!
{They look to me, expecting me to take one side or the other}
Me: I believe in me, and that's enough for now.
{Silence}
Felix: I don't believe in you. I think you're a hologram.
Me: I could be a figment of my own imagination.
Jordan: Yeah, right. A figment of all our imaginations.
Me: [shrugs] Stranger things have happened, and do, with alarming regularity.
Maya: There you go, quoting that book again...
I quote it by accident. It's not even my fault anymore.
Later, though, she asked me for the title again, and said it sounded funny. I think I've successfully annoyed her into reading it.
*scowls* I hate being alone. I think that's my problem. But I hate everyone I know. Which proves another problem.
*smacks head into wall* My mind sucks.
I bet you do...You've been a diehard fan for, like, a long time, right?
I'M BACK
I've been away doing... secret stuff
I've been obsessed with Skulduggery for almost three years, I think...
People can get annoying, but being without friends is usually worse.
If being without friends is worse, you need to meet the people at my school.
When my mum found me crying she got really concerned - I don't cry much - and when I tried to explain that, she just kept insulting everyone I don't like until I pointed out the fact that it wasn't helping. Insulting them isn't going to make them go away forever.
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