"Write a new blog post," they say. Like it's that easy. Like it's that simple.
And what if I have nothing to talk about? What if there is nothing I WANT to talk about? Don't I get a say in any of this? Doesn't my opinion MATTER?
And of course the Twitter people are nudging me. Every. Single. Day. I can't escape them. They're getting into my head.
They're in my DREAMS...
I'm all achey. I've had a long day and I'm tired. All I want to do is go to bed- and yet going to bed before 2 AM always seems like a waste of time. Like there's something I could be doing, some work I could be getting done...
33,000 words done on Book 8, by the way.
This time last year (January 6th) I started KOTW. I had been hideously delayed because of work to the house I'd been having done, and the deadline was fast approaching. So this year, having 33,000 words done by this stage is something of a relief. I am, of course, assuming that I can continue writing at the same rate. So, er, hopefully I can.
Wrote a cool scene yesterday. It involves Fletcher. It involves blood. It involves AWESOMENESS.
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«Oldest ‹Older 1801 – 2000 of 4871 Newer› Newest»everyone grieves in their own way, Emerald. my grandmother died a couple of weeks ago and i haven't been able to cry about it unless i'm drunk. just know that we're all here for you when you want to talk, when it hits, whenever. words can't explain how sorry i am to hear about this, darling
*hugs Mem*
oh, and hi, aretha <3
Em, I am soo sorry for your loss. I never knew him well nor do I know you, but Kestrel has always talked fondly of the both of you. I wish you the best and hope you know that he's in a better place.
Damn invitations
Numb. Yeah, that's a good word for it, I think. I won't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I do know what loss feels like. Just not on such a large scale. And again I won't pretend I know, but you probably won't be able to cry for a while. When you do, though, if you do, just make sure you have someone you can rely on nearby. I'll be there if I'm able- but you probably want someone who knows you better, anyway.
18 days
...
...Zaf... What does 18 days mean?
I'm back...
It's Zaf's birthday in 18 days...
Oh..HAPY EARLY BIRTHDAY ZAF!
Em, I doubt there's anything I can do or say to make you feel better, but we're all here for you.
*laughs*
See im not worried Derek will find someway to embarass me as he probably wont remember.,,
Zaf, it's kinda not a good time
Yeah just realized....
*facedesk*
EM IM SO SORRY! I dunno what to say :/ i cant
Zaf, calm down- you didn't mean anything by it.
I...I dunno all i know is im in shock
He's in a safe place watching down on Em
ZAAF! hi.....
I have to go now guys. TOODLES.
Yeah, Zaf, I know. I'm still crying...
Bye Seph...
I'm back.
Bye Sev.
Yeah, I'm still here. I just... Don't know what else to say...
Hi...I guess i can make a Necromancer way of it and say he's part of the stream....
No Chase is in heaven
Hi Kes.
Hi Kessie. If you don't know read my pic.
I know. I was here. That's why mine is all black.
I cant change mine without my iPod freezing atm or i would
Hey guys who just came
Hi.
Hi...
You can't change your pic on an iPod anyway... I tried before and couldn't get my picture back till I was on a computer. It stays blank.
brb... might take a while
ugh my dad wants to have "Famil Game night" (he just invented it) in a Monday
Hi Jubi
And my pic's face is exactly how I feel right now...
Melancholy.
Bye Jubi.
Bye
I'm thinking of a song... Weird...
Hey Guys! I ditched family game night to be unproductive
Hello, Hel.
Hello again, Jubi.
What song? And hi Helena. I know you were here earlier, just didn't say hi yet.
Wb, Jubi.
This sounds like a stupid question.. but whats WB?
Welcome back.
Quite an inappropriate song for the moment but if you guys need a reason to smile it's good... I need a reason to smile as I might die in a fire-y ball of flame any moment now...
OOOH ok... ^^
And it's not a stupid question. I understand you didn't know. I didn't either when I first saw it.
That's amazing Kilandra, thank you...
*hugs tight Zaf*
It's okay Zaf, don't be sorry...
*hugs*
I know but i do feel sorry
I feel in no mood to want to smile right now... But I have to pretend I'm happy to people around me cause they don't know...
Same Lav.
Hi Helena. Nice to meet you. (sorry- I'm a bit less enthusiastic tonight than I would normally be)
I'm sorry that this has put you both in awkward positions...
Nice to meet you too Aretha. *shakes hand*
Im fine Em i just told my parents one of the Minions lost someone to cancer my mom just kinda lets me be i gtg in 15min anyway
Em, was that for Lav and I? Seriously no need to apologise. You had no control over it. We're the ones feeling sad when we've never met him and therefore it's our fault. We could always be heartless but we choose not to. Well, I do. This is strictly speaking for myself.
You're welcome Emerald. *hugs*
*cringes*
I hate to spoil the effort Kilandra but it's the 8th over here... he died an hour ago...
God that really spoiled the effort, I'm so sorry.
And I know what you mean Hel...
Lav and Hel-same.
Em, *hugs*
I agree on what Helena said.
I would like to grieve for a lost friend, even if I've never met him in person. But I feel, in a way, that I have met him. Maybe not in person, but on the blog.
Em things happen for a reason im Catholic and well i believe God called him for a reason
It's still the seventh in some places, though. So it's still part correct.
I'm a Christian, but I still wish God let him stay longer...
Least he died knowing Em loves him
Of course... I didn't think of that at all Lav... *headdesk*
I wished he stayed longer too but this had been a battle for him, since he was 19...
Em i wish i could stay but arguing parents force me to bed
Stay strong Emmy
Sorry, that sentence doesn't sound right. Let me rephrase it.
I'm a Christian, and I understand God called him for a reason, but I still wish He let him stay longer...
Bye Zaf.
19?
I have been wondering, and I'm sorry if it brings up painful memories, but how did he get cancer?
You don't have to answer if you don't want to though.
it was genetic... his mam had it and died from it as well...
Bye, Zaf.
It's ok Em. It's the seventh over here. Would you like me to fix it?
Really? I didn't think cancer was genetic...
*dislikes cancer even more*
My grandmother died from it, too. She used to smoke though...
*could be
I didn't think cancer could be genetic.
wbd... writing
I have to go everyone... I'll be on in the morning... my time...
I just need to get some sleep... tomorrow we have to tell the kids...
Night everyone and thank you xx
Good night Em.
*hugs*
Take care.
I'm very possibly going to get cancer. It's in my family that we're more susceptible to melanoma.
Sleep well Em.
*hugs tightly*
Stay strong.
Good night Em, and good luck. *hugs*
Brb
Sorry, I still don't have anything to say, really- unless you guys want me to- but I just wanted you all to know I'm still here.
Okay, Kes.
I should probably get moving. Didn't do anything since 9 am. It's 11:40 am now.
I'll come on later. Bye for now.
Bye, Lav.
DOCTOR DEREK!!!! *huggles* HIIII NEW POST. And you're welcome for infecting your Twitter mind... Hah :D
And no, when it comes to your blog, you DON'T have an opinion. It doesn't matter here.
I think.
Sorry *not-really apologetic smile*
Now I'm going to bug you on Twitter... Now that I'm thinking of it
Good Night Em and Lav
Adra, I'm not sure this is the time
Em. I'm so sorry. I know what I say can't do justice to the way we all feel. We will have a place for Chase is our hearts.
I don't know what to say. I really don't. I feel really empty. Slightly light headed.
As everyone else has already said, we are here for you, mam.
Heyyy people
I didn't really leave... but I'm distant... so yeah... I think I already said that
Hi Adra. It's been a while.
Hi Thrust.
Hi Adra
I don't know what to think or feel right now. How are you doing, Kes?
Hi Adra, I don't think we've met *holds out hand* I'm Kilandra or Andra.
*needs something to distract me* Kessie are you bringing your 'A' day or 'B' day stuff tomorrow
This whole comments section is going to become sacred now, isn't it? This blog post. Well, that is, if any of you ever look back.
ohmyfuckinggod EM
EM
EM
EM
EM
Em... Facebook me NOW
Oh, right, sorry- where are my manners? Found them. Hi Adra. I'm Aretha Tesla. I'm an adept, my discipline is blood manipulation, and I'm an assasin for the American Sanctuary. Normally I'm a lot more friendly than this. *smiles weakly and offers hand*
I think Em went to sleep... She said she was going to, anyway... Sorry, Adra. Wow, that's a pathetic thing to say. Sorry. I really just don't have words.
Andra, I always bring everything...
Aretha, I was doing fine until about an hour and a half ago. You?
Hi Aretha, hey thrust, Kes.... Sorry, um, but I have to go. I don't think I can do this tonight... Love y'all. You're all my family, you know that? <3 (yes, even you Aretha)
Bye, Adra.
Bye Adra. You're fun family.
I can say the same thing for myself. I just... well. All I can say is that I could tell right away how great all of you are. And now... Well, I guess this proves it.
Ok I'm going to try to lighten the mood. Someone watch this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q2dyR5YNTw
So sorry Em!
Both sorry about Chase and sorry I had to leave at that awful moment.
Also sorry that I have to leave again...
I'm in between dance classes... Sorry again.
-Fabi
I would, but I'm on my iPod.
Hi/bye Fabi.
That's histerical Kilandra! Can someone please explain the baguette story though...? I've heard a lot about it but I DONT GET IT AT ALL!!
^^
The baguette? Not now.
Thank you, Adra. Really. Everyone here has been so accepting, and you're all such great people. I've never seen anything like this before. *hugs tightly* Goodnight. And this goes for all of you; you're my family too. That means I care. A lot. And if any of you ever need anything, I'll be here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwVsODnYi6A
Not exactly cheery, but it's an amazing song.
I still have that annoying French speech to write. I'm going. Byeya!
Still? Bye, Thrust.
Hey, Kes. Are we the only ones on now?
I think so. Andra might be.
Oh. So... How are you holding up?
Yeah I'm here. listening to 'Down with Sickness'
HI! I'm still here ^^
Sorry, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but how old are you?
It's just...Em was the first person to talk to me here, you know? I was crying, but now I'm just...numb.
Did you listen to that song?
Seriously, Andra? It's their most popular song, but I don't like the bridge...
Aretha, I'm 11. Youngest Minion.
Hi, Jubi.
Distant, reading Dublin Daes.
Hey Jubi, Kilandra. I should probably be at least trying to sleep now, but I can't. So... Thanks for giving me someone to talk to. :)
Where are you?
Wow. I'm so sorry, Kestrel. I mean- I don't mean to undermine your maturity in any way- you're an incredibly exceptional person and rediculously mature for your age, and I'm not that much older than you, but still... You're so young, and already feeling this much pain. I'm... Sorry.
No problem. I'm 13 btw. Not sure who you were asking.
hoorah! I have finished the prologue to my story!
... wow this woman really reminds me a lot of China....
Oh I'm 13 too :P
I'm not mature at all, so no problem.
Thanks, though. Really, don't focus on me. Em is probably feeling thousands of times worse.
Hey
Wait, me? Where am I- as in where right now, or where do I live, or... something else entirely?
Like where are you from
and Hi Nix!
Hi Nix.
Aretha, like what state. (You are in America, right?)
I second that. Kessie is definatly not mature. Trust me.
I know Em is feeling the worst out of all of us... But she's asleep now. And you're the youngest, and you have to deal with this so early on.
Oh! Yeah. I'm an Ameriminion, from Connecticut. You?
Just forget about it, okay?
Florida.
*sighs* Sorry. I don't know why I feel so defensive of all of you already... Well, actually, it's just because you're all such great people and none of you deserve this- but then again, nobody does. But I'll leave it if you want me to.
No, don't leave. I just feel guilty if you feel bad for me.
Oh, cool! I'm going to Florida in Febuary, with my friend. Well, more like non-biological sister.
Kessie she said that she's leave IT
Aretha, lot sof people are coming to Florida. You, L., Mara, maybe Zaf...
*lots of
I already went ^_^
I know.
I know you know
Sorry... I'm hyper...
Hi everybody
Hello, Duck.
Hello Kestral LeStarre
DUCK! hi..
You can just call me Kes, or Kessie, if you don't want to type the whole thing out.
Hey Jubi
Ok, Hi kiss
Kes*
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This comment has been removed by the author
I live in Florida too.
Kessie, i can't tell if it's the sprinklers or not, is it raining outside?
Hi, all!
Hi
Guess what state I live in?
NSW
Hi, Fabi.
Andra, i don't think so, no.
*I
DAMN YOU FABI!!!!
Hm?
Hi Dr Nix
First and foremost, I dedicate this page to the memory of Chase, and to Emerald Melody. We are all here for you.
I also dedicate this page to the 883 paper cranes sitting on my desk. Maybe someday I'll finish the 1000th one and make a wish. Not now.
I also dedicate this page to Aretha and all other new faces here. I wish you a most hearty welcome and apologize for the dismal mood.
I dedicate to MAHU, of course. It's been fun to be part of the team. For Mycroft and his Umbrella!
I also dedicate this page to my Mom, who really means well.
Fabi: ...and all the other new faces...
Yay, a page dedicated to me! Along with others as well
The ded feels half finished...
Also dec it to yourself because without you the dec wouldn't have been... deded
You don't dedicate a page to yourself, Duck.
Wouldn't be good manners.
Well most people don't dedicate blog comment pages at all
It's a custom here. Whoever gets first comment on a page gets to dedicate it.
That's one of our things, though. We dedicate every page, and we turn blogs into chat rooms.
*would smile, but can't really*
You are all very odd people
We are DEFINATLY NOT most people
Yes, we are. We're Minions.
Glad you noticed. XD........................:-(
Embrace your inner lunacy, fun times guaranteed.
.______.
*inner lunatic
Sorry, can't quote perfectly off the top of my head.
Msd...
Oh, that's what that is? Well, first off, I don't feel bad for you. Sympathy and empathy are two completely different things, and sympathy is not what I'm feeling now. I don't pity you, and I'm not telling you all of this because I feel bad. I'm telling you this because I care, and because I feel protective of you, and because I know what loss feels like. Not a loss this deep, but loss nonetheless. And I've felt numb, and I cried myself to sleep for a week. If I didn't want to be here, if I didn't want to talk to you, I would leave. I would go to bed or open Tumblr or something. So please, don't feel guilty. I don't pity you- but I don't have to feel pity in order to want to make you feel better. I just really appreciate you- you're such a great person, and I care, so I want to do whatever I can for you. And for Em. And for everyone. Sometimes I drive myself nuts trying to help others... But it's only my own fault, and I never stop doing it. This is better than it usually is, though- because ususlly I never go to other people when I need it. But with you, and everyone else on here, I already have. Last night, I was preparing to be completely scared out of my wits. When I get scared like that... That's when I really can't stand to be alone. Usually I just put up with it. But last night I decided I would talk to all of you. So, if you do start feeling guilty, you can think of that and call it even. Oh, and also, for the record- I didn't mean I would leave, I meant I would drop the issue. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. And now this is really long and it took me forever to write. Wow, sorry about that... Anyway, I hope you don't feel guilty anymore. And... I don't know what to say now, so I'll just end this here...
Wow- thank you, Fabi. And everyone. You're all so... Amazing... Oh, and sorry my message was so lengthy.... I ate up a good bit of the page...
I didn't really mean guilty, I meant...I don't know what I meant. Thanks, though.
The length of the comment doesn't matter, it's always 200 per page.
I have to go now. Good night, everyone.
See ya Kes
Hahahahaha... *awkward weak laugh* Yeah sorry that whole long thing just kind of came out... I started and then I couldn't stop... And it's funny how we invented words as a form of expression, but really they're such imperfect metaphors.
Night, Kessie!
Goodnight, Kestrel! I hope you sleep well.
I've felt the words just come out before, Aretha. I know the feeling. And then I give a big long speech and by the time I've finished typing, the subject has totally changed. XD
Yeah, that pretty much defines me all the time. ;)
Will be distant, writing alternate endings to my short story!
G'Night Kessie. See you in the morning.
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