Friday, December 21, 2012

The Button

This story- which I had intended to be REALLY REALLY short and funny and quirky- eventually became a little longer. And a lot less funny. But this is it.

And it will come down at midnight, Irish time, on the 22nd...



And it has now been taken down... only to reappear in the Skulduggery Pleasant Collection of short stories and novellas, available... um... some time in the spring of 2014...




5,000 comments:

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Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

first?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

I play violin too!!

but i fail at it..

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

I play violin too!!

but i fail at it..

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

YES!!!!!!!! YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

Calidae Dark said...

I SO WANT TO PLAY THE VIOLIN THOUGH.


Its unfair.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I can play violin, but I can't read the music...


Wbd

Calidae Dark said...

Ember, you need to ded!!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

I bet you can't guess who this page is dedicated to.

And ha, Val, you missed! (just kidding) *hug*

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

is it dedicated to the Mycroft umbrella swing? Or maybe Mycroft...

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

This page is dedicated to MYCROFT HOLMES! (and his umbrella.)

This page is also dedicated to Derek, Calidae, Jubilance, and Valkyrie.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

AND THE UMBRELLA SWING!!! (almost forgot!)

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

yay! i got a page dedicated to me!
hehe :P

Calidae Dark said...

:)

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

And with that, I'm leaving to go play the violin. And then whack myself on the nose with an umbrella.

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

Bye! Have fun whacking yourself on the nose! ;)

Calidae Dark said...

By Ember :)

Jophiel said...

Staking my claim right here!!

Now shall read!!!

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

UGH! i'm lying in bed right now n i'm all warm n now I have to get up and TURN OF THE FRIKIN LIGHT!
UGH i dont wanna get up!

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

Hehe yay i turned off my light


that was a really pointless thing to bring up...

Jophiel said...

*Screams*
That was epic!!!!

I'm Jubilance Glee / Occasional Haiku-er / And a dinosaur said...

Haha! Yea its was pretty cool :)

Jophiel said...

*Puts on a suit with bow tie and red fez*
Mr. Landy,
Your short story was brilliant, just the type of work I expect to see from you! Jolly good show, old chap!

Jophiel said...

*Laughs at comment*
I am an idiot!!!

Kribu said...

So, two good things waiting for me when I got up just now: the world has not ended, and this story!

This was... Good. Serious, but really good.

Poor Liam, and his entire bloodline.

... also, I rather hope Val & Skul will get to all the other end-of-the-world-causers in time. :D

Jophiel said...

Me too! I thought that those two would go on a rampage or something!!!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Love it Derek, LOVE IT!!

Jophiel said...

Cain!!!

Calidae Dark said...

Cain! Long time no see!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Death!
*tacklehugs*

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Cali!!
*tacklehugs*

*tacklehugs everyone*

Jophiel said...

Dark, 'twas I or twas I not talking to you earlier today?

Calidae Dark said...

You.... twas.

Jophiel said...

*Gets tacklehugged*
Nice to see you too!!
*Gets tacklehugged again*

Okay, my turn!
*Tacklehugs everyone too*

Jophiel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jophiel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jophiel said...

I thought tso!

Calidae Dark said...

'comment deleted'
'comment deleted'

Jophiel said...

Does anyone else notice the bunch of randoms at the start of Derek comment? They're never on!!!

Jophiel said...

Your point being:

Calidae Dark said...

...

Most things I say dont HAVE a point.

Jophiel said...

Somebody obviously published something then thought better of it!!

Jophiel said...

Oh...

Like how I somehow turned into a zombie last night??

Jophiel said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73xiRkysWfQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player


I have no idea what that is...

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Kiss one, kill one, marry one.

Your choices are... Nye, Mevolent, and Craven.

I can't wait to see how this turns out XD

Jophiel said...

My sister keeps stealing my elf socks!!!!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

...
Sep, you are EVIL...

*avoids choosing*

Jophiel said...

Kiss: Craven
Kill: Nye (duh!! He's foul!!!)
Marry: Melevolent

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

ELF SOOOOOOOOOOCKS!!!!!!


Hehe, I'm at my mum's work on the computer and I keep making weird sounds...

Jophiel said...

It's funny!! Come on Cain!!!!

Jophiel said...

Cain?! You crazy person!!!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*bursts out laughing*

MARRYING MEVOLENT!!

Jophiel said...

*Roars in laughter*
My feet are turning purple!!! I don't know why!!!!!!!! And they're not even cold!!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*runs back to Blogland* *trips*

Jophiel said...

Uh, my dad worked for him! And he wants the Faceless Ones to return!!

Necromancer joke: Why'd the chicken commit suicide?

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*is trying SO hard not to burst out laughing IRL*

Death, you complaining about your purple feet is not help my cause...

Jophiel said...

So much for not falling on your face, other Cain!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

To get to the other side...


That's actually really funny, Death XD

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*waves*

Hi Val! I would help you up but Death is telling me a joke.

Why did the chicken commit suicide?

Jophiel said...

What? They are dark purple!!
*clutches mouth*
Damn warhead!!!

Jophiel said...

Good job Cain!!!! You're right!
*other Cain = Valkyrie V. Cain*

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*is confused*

Death, how about you call me Miss or Missy and call Val Val or Cain?

Jophiel said...

Wanna play: truth, dare, double dare, torture, kiss or promise?

Or just truth or dare?

Jophiel said...

I'll call Valkyrie, Cain, and you Missy!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

OK!

While I remember, Death, have you posted more of your storyyyy??

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*puppy dog eyes*

Jophiel said...

I shall go create something!!! Feel free to read any other boring fan fic on there!

Jophiel said...

Ignore this my friends...


STEPH!!!!! READ THE GOD DAMN STORY!!!!!! MOUSIE!!!!

Fibbles! said...

.cknvb;aihfrebgeiavfearjg that is all i have to say.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

I would kill Craven (I hate him), marry Mevolent (Death, you have competition now!), and kiss Nye (I wouldn't kill him because he's the doctor!!)

Calidae Dark said...

Hello (again) im being distant

Calidae Dark said...

I would kiss Craven, kill Nye and Marry Mevolent

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Everyone wants to marry Mevolent!!!
Hi Cal!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Hello again Cal!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Hey miss Cain, you haven't chosen anyone yet *evil laugh*

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

(by the way, when I'm doing the evil laugh, imagine I'm doing the face that Mycroft's doing in my profile pic.)

Calidae Dark said...

Im leaving again.
Goodbye.
* poofs out in a cloud of Valsnacks *

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*sighs*

Fine:

Marry Craven. (If you've read DB, you might understand)

Kill Mevolent.

Kiss Nye.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*might understand why)

Bye Cal!

Unknown said...

What a busy night they had

Awesome story

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Hi Eathan!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Cain, you just killed my husband.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

...

Jophiel said...

Silver! Dark! Cain!

Cain! Don't kill my husband!!!
P.s. it's up!!

Hi Eathan!!!

Kiss, kill or marry

Out of Murder Rose, Mellisa Edgley and her *points to Silver*

Jophiel said...

Who just looked at my blog??!!

Jophiel said...

And another person just saw it...

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Death, did you just put ME in there?!

Jophiel said...

*Smiles*
Happy?

Jophiel said...

You are marrying MY husband!!! MINE!!!

Jophiel said...

Take down the tent, Cain...

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Oh my god....
Dang it, now I want to know if I'm going to get killed, kissed, or married. Probably killed. And then Melissa should get married, and he can kiss Murder Rose.

AmericanMage31 said...

Ahh so good ^-^ and don't worry Derek I'm sure we Americans can handle it......maybe o.o; (Skul, Val come save us!!!)

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

MEVOLENT IS MINE!!!! MINE, DO YOU HEAR ME? MINE!!!

Jophiel said...

*Laughs*

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

AmericanMage31, are you male or female?

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*pouts*

But Deeeeeeeeeeeath...

Do I haaaaaaaave tooooooooooo?????

Jophiel said...

He is daddy's boss! I am his employee's daughter!!! I'm from his time!!! I helped him kill Skulduggery!!!!!!

HE IS MINE!!!
*Launches self at Silver*

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*laughs*

You people are strange...

Jophiel said...

Fine, you battle Silver and I will write more, okay?

Silver, that profile pic and your comment... It screams pedo

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

*groans* I just want to know if she/he/it needs to kill, kiss, or marry Mevolent, Murder, me, Melissa, Craven, or Nye.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

YAY!!

*launches self at Silver for Death*

Jophiel said...

Wow, player

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

And besides, this is MYCROFT.
And you have to call me Ember because I now have a twin sister.

Jophiel said...

Okay, BBS!!!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

*pulls out umbrella and whacks Miss Cain on the head* MEVOLENT IS MINE!!!!!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

What does BBS mean?

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Bulletin board system?

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

BBS stands for be back soon.

*rubs head*

Ow.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

And I'll whack you again if you don't stay away from my husband!!! Or my fiance. Or whatever.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*nods*

Fair enough.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

That was... easier than I thought.... aw, I like whacking people!

*whacks Mevolent*

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Brb in about 10 mins...

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

*checks gold pocketwatch* It's been ten minutes.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Mycroftiate
(mhy-KROF-tee-ate)
Verb
to act like Mycroft

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Back!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

You're two minutes late, you disgrace.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

*shrugs*
It's the closest I've got.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Kiss one, kill one, marry one: Guild, Sult, and Scarab.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Marry Sult.
Kill Scarab.
Kiss Guild.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Okay, fair enough. Liberty divorced him, so you can marry him.

I'd kill Guild, actually, because he was just SO ANNOYING.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Kiss, kill, marry: Prave, Strom, or Caelan?

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

OR kill Sult.

HE was just plain ANNOYING!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Marry Prave. (I'd have someone to make me tea!)
Kiss Strom.
Kill Caelan.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Same.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Kiss, marry, kill: A faceless one, a male version of the Sea Hag, or Crux?

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

I say marry the Sea Hag, kiss the faceless one, and kill Crux.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Same!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

I googled sult the other day and apparently somebody always reads his name as SLUT. I just couldn't stop laughing for about five minutes after that.

Georgina Howlett said...

That was AWESOME. :D

Now to print. x3

Helena Ember Sky said...

Hi... Being on here is going to kill me... I'm on my phone, you see.

Helena Ember Sky said...

I'm just gonna go now because MY PHONE IS RUBBISH ON BLOGS!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Hi Georgina!

HEL!! *tacklehugs*

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Bye Hel!!

Jophiel said...

Done!!!

It's up and why isn't Silver dead?

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

I GOT MARRIED TO MEVOLENT!
AND A MALE SEA HAG!
AND SULT!
AND MY NAME IS EMBER, NOT SILVER!

Jophiel said...

I married Melevolent, Scarab, Caelan and a Faceless One!!!
Lol!!!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

YOU MARRIED CAELAN? ARE YOU MAD??

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

And besides, Mevvy is MINE.

Jophiel said...

Yeah!! I'm mad!!!

And Caelan is hot!!!

Jophiel said...

MINE!!!!
*Runs and launches self at "Ember" again*
DIE!!!!

Jophiel said...

Where's Cain??

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Caelan is hot...
But also a stalker.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

I was reading your post!!

Jophiel said...

So?

Oh! The start was different... Did it set the scene?

Jophiel said...

Gtg, bye!!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Bye Death!

Zathract Mist said...

*scowls*

It's times like these that I wish my throat didn't hurt...

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Hi Zath!
Want a throat lolly?
*offers throat lolly*

Zathract Mist said...

Hi Miss!
No thanks, I've got some here. Thanks anyway.

Sorry, distant. Now that Zathract Mist Ch. 1 has been posted, I'm working on Battle for Blogland again.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

YAY!!

Wbd myself...

Zathract Mist said...

Alright.

Book Crazy said...

awsome can't wait to read it!!!!

Jophiel said...

'ello my lovelies!
*London accent*

Jophiel said...

The wheels on the bus burn to the ground, burn to the ground, burn to the ground, the wheels on the bus burn to the ground, all day long!

Unapplicable. said...

I like it!
*thumps hand on non-existant table*
Another!

Jophiel said...

The wipers on the bus go kill little kids, kill little kids, kill little kids, the wipers on the bus kill little kids, all day long!!

Unapplicable. said...

*existent
Sorry. The brain doesn't want to work today.

Hi Death.

Jophiel said...

Hi Cal!!
What up?

Jophiel said...

The door on the bus goes chopping off heads, chopping off heads, chopping off heads, the door on the bus goes chopping off heads, all day long!!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Hi Cal and Death!
Wbd still...

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Lovely songs, Death!

Jophiel said...

Hi Cain!!

Jophiel said...

Thanks!!

Unapplicable. said...

Hello Cain.

I'm good, thanks. Yourself?

Jophiel said...

The horn on the bus can make ears bleed, make ears bleed, make ears bleed, the horn on the bus can make ears bleed, all day long!!!!

Jophiel said...

Me! I'm grand! My toes have gone grey and my back is burnt and has a blue zink smiley face on it!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

BLUE ZINK SMILEYS RUUUUUUUUUUUULE!!!!!!!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Except when I have blue zink, I write Skulduggery down one leg and Valkyrie down the other. :D

I did that when our grade level went to waterslides.

Jophiel said...

That is SO cool!!!!!!!
I am so doing that now!!!

*Pouts*
But I'm going wake larding Sunday! With a smiley tan!!
*Screams*

Jophiel said...

*wake boarding

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Í got really burnt the other day...
You can see where my rashie ended on my arm there's just this line...

And the next day it STUNG.

Unapplicable. said...

Ouch. That's got to suck.

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

It did.

Jophiel said...

I was burnt do bad but I was wearing a bikini!!

Will be distant... Dubin Dae's got me hooked!

Drew O'Connor said...

That comment has really brightened my day :)

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Hi Em!!

Jophiel said...

Why do I always go read and you come on?

P.S. Chapter 12 is epic!!!!!

Miss Cain; The Aussie Ninja Stalker said...

Got to go now.

Be back in about... an hour.

Bye!

Jophiel said...

NO!!! ELLIE IS GOING TO LEARN!!! Noooo!

Jophiel said...

Drew?

Drew O'Connor said...

What?? lol

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Hello Em! I'm Ember!

Drew O'Connor said...

Hey Ember, how are you?!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Good thank you, and you?

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

(Just finished learning my violin piece. HAPPINESS.)

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

I changed my profile pic so I would look less creepy.

I just realised that it looks even creepier than before.

Drew O'Connor said...

Lol it's okay, I think creepy is justifiable when it comes to the blog...

barmybex said...

EPIC!!!! Derek you never fail to be totally awesome. :D

Melica Frost said...

hey guys :)

Jophiel said...

No!!!! Deacon is a jerk!!!! Natasha is a bitch!!!! Jessie is stupid!!!

*Laughs*

http://countdowntoapocalypse.com/

Check that out!!!

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Death! How are you???????

Melica Frost said...

23 minutes?!? but I have to get food... WHY???

Drew O'Connor said...

Lol yeah that pretty much sums them all up Death lol

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Hm. Anyway, Em, anything interesting happening where you are?

Jophiel said...

Hi! I am good! I am reading epic story *winks at Em*

Enjoy the rest of your lives!!! I don't want to kill you if you turn into zombies!!!!

Bye!!!

Drew O'Connor said...

Um... the sun is out so that's a bit out of the ordinary over here lol

Other than that, I'm just trying to get going on my second book.. it's stuck.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Ur... the wink got me a little bit scared....

OH MY GOD INSPIRATION HANG ON

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

YES.
Finally I have a profile picture that is not creepy but is about Mycroft.
FINALLY.

Hey, Em, a book? That sounds interesting.

Mycroft Holmes (Ember) said...

Not first yet

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