Every year, my family tell me they don't know WHAT they're going to get me, and every year we have a great big laugh about it. But every year I think ah, THIS is the year. This is the year when they DO know what to get me, but they're all PRETENDING they don't. They're all conspiring with each other, pooling their money and resources, going that extra mile to get me the thing that will make me happy, whatever it may be. It's all a surprise, I think to myself. It's all a wonderful surprise and on Christmas Day when I've handed them their really really expensive gifts and I'm standing to one side while they ooh and ahh and laugh and hug, they're suddenly going to turn around and say Derek, surprise! We have what you've always wanted!
And then they show me a parcel beneath the tree and I fall to my knees, and with trembling hands I slowly tear the paper and lo... the most perfect present ever in the history of the world. And I am happy.
This year my mother got me a dart board.
She got me a dart board because, obviously, she knows how much I secretly love darts. She has cleverly read between the lines during each of our many conversations throughout the year- conversations in which darts have not been mentioned one single time- and she figured out that what I really wanted for Christmas, the thing that will finally make my life complete, is a great big dart board.
Mother, I think it is safe to say you have excelled yourself this year. Well done.
My brother and sisters, meanwhile, all got together and arranged an aircraft simulation lesson- where you sit in a cockpit thingy and take off and land a plane without actually, you know, being IN a plane. Well, they ALMOST did that. What they ACTUALLY did was hand me a piece of paper with all this written down. They got me a SUGGESTION for Christmas.
Now, to you, this mightn't sound that bad. You might be thinking hey, they didn't know if Derek would be interested in this, so they suggested it, and if he seemed agreeable, they'd go off and book it. And this, dear Minion, would a reasonable thing for you to think.
Unless you remember a few years ago where my sisters told me that what they were going to do for me that Christmas was renovate my bathroom. Oh wow, said I. A bathroom renovation, just what I've always wanted. A bathroom renovation as done by two pregnant women with no prior history of bathroom renovations, nor indeed any relevant knowledge of said undertaking. I just couldn't get any luckier.
And if you remember that, you may also remember that they never actually got around to doing it.
And you may also remember that last year, in some feeble attempt to make up for it, they got me a bath mat and towel. For Christmas. Between the two of them.
It wasn't all terrible disappointment and quiet tears when no one was looking, because today was also the day of Doctor Who and The Snowmen!
I'm not entirely sure who the villain was or what the logic was, and I thought Richard E Grant could have been used SO much better, but it was fast and funny and Matt Smith is great and Jenna Louise Coleman is... is...
Jenna Louise Coleman is just so PRETTY.
I know, I know, I have a history with Amy Pond. We were close. We were even in love, for a while. But times change. People change. They move on. I've moved on. I love Amy, I do, and she will always have a special place in my heart...
But Jenna Louise Coleman is just so PRETTY.
I... I think I love Jenna Louise Coleman. I think THAT is what I got for Christmas.
God (or whatever random deity you might acknowledge) bless us, every one.
Posts
4,931 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4001 – 4200 of 4931 Newer› Newest»HI SCATH I HAVNT SAW YOU IN AGES! you changed youre name..... oh just a question....do you still hate me
HELLO MY BEAUTIFUL MARALIE! *huggles* How are you, gorgeous? :)
Ngl, One Direction can actual sing. And the Irish one is hot
i know hes awsome! i have 26 of his books! i know hes awsome cause hes awsome and hes awomely awsome and stuff
irish people are hot cus im irish!!!!!!duh
hahahahahahahaahahaahahahahahahahahehehehehehehehehehe im crazy
Hi Lu!
Hate? *laughs* Don't be so ridiculous, my dear. Hate only causes hurt!
...I changed my name? I hadn't noticed.
How are we all, anyway? *smiles*
Hello, Sparky! :D *hugs*
HI SCÁTH!
DID YOU NOTICE THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLE AND MERLIN WERE PARTIALLY FILMED IN THE SAME PLACE??? DID YOU???
I'm fourteen, Brave. :)
I'm HAPPY :D *hugs back* And you, Luci? ♥
Yes. One Direction CAN sing. Niall, you mean? Yes. Mmmhmm. But Harry's mine...
*hugs back*
Does anyone want something to drink?
I SHOULD GO TO SLEEP.
I SHOULD.
. . . WHATEVER. *turns back to creating playlist*
Msd, btw.
Well, I suppose this is an awkward moment to join as ever.
One Direction has nothing on Ariana Grande and Liz Gillies.
HI SIR! :)
Yes, Ink, I had noticed! I tend to pick up on minor details. And, more often than not, make deductions from things I notice. I've been this way since I can remember. When people compare me to Sherlock Holmes, they're usually correct to. *grins*
Sorry, I'm in a good mood. :)
As long as everyone accepts that Hiddles, Ludwig, Hutcherson etc are mine:3
Greetings, Star.
One Direction are awesome.
Totally.
I've got my 1D pyjamas on with my 1D socks and my 1D headphones holding my phone with the 1D cover on it and I'm wearing my 1D jumper and my 1D converse.
Yeah. I'm very dedicated.
Hello Sir :)
Greetings, Sir!:3
...
I'm in a strangely good mood. How peculiar... :)
YAY!
Sorry, I'm just such a show-off. I like flaunting my knowledge. :)
Greetings, Ms. Charm. I don't believe I have made your acquaintance.
AHHHHH MOUUUUSEEEE!!!
I am certain there is a mouse in the kitchen. Over *points* THERE. There is a peculiar tapping noise. It's scary.
*resists urge to make another Nix joke*
im back
Greetings to Luciana and Stiltskin Brave, as well. There, I do believe that is everyone.
We have mice in our house atm.
After Amsterdam, my parents are practically experts on mice catching. Amsterdam is filled to the brim with mice and mosquitos.
*shakes head and laughs* Go on, Star, make a Nix joke.
Uh, yeah... Sir, do you always talk funny? Cause it's kinda scary.
ok guys ill solve all yere problems in three words
forget about it
If you fear merely my antiquated manner of communicating, then I do believe you must scream quite often throughout the day.
No. I'll solve all your problems in FOUR words.
Listen.
To.
One.
Direction.
Hehe :3
Uhm, Brave, would you be so kind as to do me a favour, my dear?
im mouse freeeee! yay hahahahahhahah *i used to think mabey you loved now baby im sure and i just cant when you knock on my door and every time i go for the mail box gotta hold myself doooown cus i just cant wait till you rite me youre comin around oooooh yayay im walking on sunshn whooah and dont it feel good*
Sir, please don't make me fall off the chair laughing. That would really hurt.
You're in a good mood like Nix? You mean, you're in a good mood and that is like Nix because Nix is always in good moods (um), or you're in a mood that is like one of Nix's good moods?
. . . My Nix jokes aren't really very funny, are they? . . .
XD
yes scath
i shall do tho ith a favour
luciana scath whats the favour?
doooodadooodadoooo
scath what do you want me to do !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello there.
Derek will have to do a new post soon.
*once i was alone i was petrified hmmhmmhmmhmmm* great great song
SO TELL ME GIRL IF EVERYTIME WE
TOU-UH-OUCH
YOU GET THIS KINDA
RU-U-USH
BABY SAY YEAHHHHH
YEAHHHH
:D
Would you mind using full stops and capital letters for me, please, dear? I'd hate to miss out on what you're trying to say, because of how accustomed I am to such good spelling, grammar and punctuation. I'm aware I'm asking for a lot, but it would mean a lot to me. *smiles* Please?
no yes
Seriously? I missed the shark AGAIN.I Keep. On. Missing. It.
We're kinda running out of space...
oh yes scath im so sorry. I amnt really used to typing so i do forget myself often. Im also so excited ar it is my 11TH BIRTHDAY SOOON WHOOOOOO
Please, I am still here. However, I dislike being referred to as "The Shark"
IM ALMOST ELEVEN. Yay hahahahahaha!
HI EMBER!
HIIIII SSSSSTTTTAAAAARR!
And Brave, suddenly the whole word makes sense.
Oh? How exciting! When is your birthday, sweetie?
...
Yes, we could do with a new post. Preferably about this film news we've been promised. :)
Hi September!
Dammit, I really need to give you people nicknames.
i am amazing. Dose my dear crime fighting partner eden come on very much? I havnt saw him in yonks and yonks.*looks around for eden*
Hello, Ember, my dear! How are you? :)
scath could you do me a favour?
FILM NEWS? LUCIANA SAY WHAT?!?! LUCI TELL ME EVERYTHING!!
OMG, Film news?
Sorry, Wbd turned into longer than I thought.
would you please not call me sweetie? Its rather irratating. Thank you
I SAW EDEN RECENTLY!
We were talking about school(s). As usual. :/
I don't get why we always end up talking about that.
thats all
HI SHARK!
People have been thinking that I'm you.
Hi, Mara, Luciana, Ember, Brave, Sir, anyone else I'm missing.
That all depends, my dear. What is this favour?
Maralie, Derek, and HarperCollins, promised us Skulduggery Pleasant film news by the end of the year - we were supposed to be getting it in October/November. :)
FABIIII.
*hugs*
Oh and Fabi?
YOU SEE? I am not the shark.
Scáth just calls everyone sweetie and my dear. :)
I am very good, Lucy.
OMG!!
[hugs everyone in the known universe]
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *fangirls* OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY - hey, a brownie! OH MY GOD!!!!!!! *screams* Thank you very much Luci :)
Ember, you could consider it a compliment to your manners.
Hi, Mara!!!! [hugs]
I'm the gentleman shark. The strange vortex is the strange vortex.
Everyone, do you comprehend this?
i was there to witness candices inner princes she wants the boys to notice her rainbowas and her ponies she was educated but could not count to ten and she got lots oof different horses by lots of different men. So i say liberate youre sons and daughters the bush i high but in the hole theres water as you wish youll be a hollywood lve and if it dont feel good what are you doing it for?HEY HO HERE SHE GOSE A LILL TO HIGH OR A LILL TO CLOSE GOT NO SELF ASTEEM OR VERTIO AND SHE THINKS SHES MADE OF CANDAAAAAAAY
You forgot about darling, my dear. And sweetheart. And beautiful, as well as gorgeous. *smiles* Just my signature thing to say. Has been for years. I despise it, however, when younger people than I call me sweetie..
Hello, Fabi!
I will. I will.
SKULDUGGERY MOVIE???? Epic.
Hello Sir. Can you please tell everyone that I am NOT you? We had a big debate about this yesterday.
I finished KOTW with Trevor priceless reactions
"Landy fired you?! Thats mean"
"Aunt Erin I hate Kitana"
"Argeddion seems crazy"
"What the crap! Theres gonna be a war?! America vs Ireland?!"
Sir - Um... No. Sorry.
Hello, Luciana!
OK IM HAVING A TOTAL LOCKDOWN ON PEOPLE CALLING ME HONE, DEAR OR SWEETY IM SORRY I CANT STAND IT
Just in case anyone doesn't know, Brave is MALE.
WHAT'S THIS ABOUT AMERICA VS IRELAND.
I certainly will not call you any of those aforementioned terms.
IM AWSOME
YES I AM A MALE HOW DID YOU KNOW
I like being called darling and dear... *rocks awkwardly back and forth on balls of feet*
And I think I've found a third person to randomly kill off, Sparky.
im a male guys what did ye think i was a dog?
You'd be even more awesome if you were to use correct punctuation, ... :)
hey hey heeeeeeeey im krusty the scary clown
Mara, you're definitely the type to merit those affectionate nicknames.
I can't call you sweetie, then. :)
But I don't call people things like hat. Coz I'm me, and you're you. What am I saying? I kinda forgot in the middle . . .
Meh.
I hate when people don't use punctuation.. -_- we were given a language, use it properly! Gahh. I'm such a grammar freak.
.. Okay. Now then, I am not anyone else, excepting myself.
ZATH YOU'RE ALIVE! *throws Skittles at him*
I'm not much of a grammar freak, but 'im' instead of I'm, and capitalization bug me.
scath i know youre used to people having perfect punctuation and i like you i really do but im sorry im only 11 and i know very little punctuation ever so sorry:'(
I'm a Grammar Nazi, so it means quite a bit to me.
Not really, Luce! *dodges Skittles* Well, kind of.
im so sorry guys i really really am i just am still in primary You know
Brave, I used correct grammar and punctuation when I was seven. My brother is eleven and he uses it fine.
im so sorry guys i truley am and ive lost many freinds on this because of my bad punctuation so im apologise if i annoy yee
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG *fangirls* *laughs like a maniac*
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_maxn4dqxl01rf73i6o1_500.gif
Brave - I'm in primary too...
When I was eleven, I could tell use almost every piece of punctuation you'd normally see!
When I was eight, I probably could have done the same.
Perhaps you could use capitals for nouns and for beginning sentences and ending clauses with either commas or full stops? :)
Oh ok. Well sorry if youre brother is smrter and thinks better tan me. I'm using proper dum punctuation now arn't I? Yes i am thank you and im sure you all understand me now.
How difficult can it be? Pretend you're speaking. When there's a small pause, use a comma. When they're a longer pause, use a full stop and put a capital letter on the next sentence.
You don't even have to bother with the commas if you don't want. I repeat, imagine you're saying what you want tp type out loud. When they're a pause, use a full stop.
That help? :)
If you don't mind me asking, what school do you go to? Because in my primary school most six-years-olds are completely good with basic punctuation, but it is a good school academically.
Its the war in book 8
*nods* my nephew was pricelesS
*kind of school
Everyone....
JUBI HAS RETURNED!!!!!!
Now... REJOICE
*rejoices*
Try your best. That's all we can ask for.
ZATH! *tacklehugs*
Hi Jubi!!!
I can't say... personal stuff and all that. Besides, I go to a country school. There is around 199 people there.
.... Er, I do apologize, Jubilance Glee, but I don't believe I've met you.
Ok guys. Im the best at english in my class and i won something for them best story and punctuation so no i do not lack the ability I just dont use them on the internet. And i read books HARDER than skulduggery when i was seven so do not brag. The largest book i ever read i read it in 2nd class and it was almost 700 pages so dont question my ability ok? I dont want to fight so lets change the subject shall we not?
FABI!!! You're not rejoicing....
I just mentioned it as I don't believe it to be right that you lose friends over it. It's also more beneficial for you, this way! :)
HI STAR!! You're not rejoicing either...
xP
WHO LIKES WAFFLES? *laughs nervously*
. . . :/
Brave, no, I do not get you at all. I do not.
I am happy to drop the subject, but, um, *looks at fellow Bloglandians* Yeah.
And Brave, I'm also in primary.
I'm not?
[Looks confusedly at pile of streamers and balloons]
What am I doing, then?
I'm not?
[Looks confusedly at pile of streamers and balloons]
What am I doing, then?
*rejoices*
I like waffles with whipped cream!
*is tacklehugged* Hi! How are you?
Brave, no one's fighting you. And EVERYONE reads harder books than SP. I was reading HP in year 3.
Granted, I'm still older than you, but yeah.
You're standing there looking at balloons and streamers Fabi
OK guys im NOT telling you where i got to school,no.Im going to use proper punctuation lke i do in school im sorry i dont use it here its just i really dont bother but i will now. and ink my school is perfectly fine and it did teach us it when we were like six yes it certinly did so i think that ou should stop guessing
GOOD JOB STAR!
She wasn't assuming anything.
Well, I am NOW.
Ink i was rather upset about youre comment on my school as i love it and it thought me to read wich is my favourite thing in the world. I may not like it early on mondays but hey, who dosE?
Meh. I didn't read many difficult books young.
Staring at balloons and streamers, I mean.
This is Ember Silver reporting from the volcano!
Stiltskin Brave is having a meltdown on 5th Avenue! What will this do to the traffic?
I've had my hair down all day. For both reasons. *smiles at Zath* I'm proud:3
I read Shakespeare in year 3!:D
OK everyone is freinds im doing proper punctuation and we all live happily ever after every body say aw .AWWWWWWWW. all ride happily into sunset.
Okay, you can stahp.. Harry ... stahp:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/beba7393b7bdbbcc7bfb88f4f4f960b6/tumblr_mexlnjhjlm1rgz95uo1_500.gif
Harry dammit just stahhpp
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mde196cT901rro0obo1_250.gif
Okay, seriously Harry stahhppp:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mctuu27ctp1rrhfi2o2_500.gif
Okay, maybe:
http://data.whicdn.com/images/40018512/tumblr_mbupo3W9ts1rq4psfo1_r1_500_large.gif
Okay, sorry for getting you pregnant but:
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lye5qiB4Rl1r4i7a9.gif
I read HP in 2nd grade uhm year 3 to UK
My nephew is in first grade and he read Sceptre of The Ancients plus he managed to read what Derek wrote in my card and that man has well not the best handwriting
This is Ember Silver.
We are apparently going to experience a WORLD-WIDE SUNSET.
*jjk*
Shakes spheer is bad and tho ith this tho fro froth to and fro blah de blah
Ooj
fje n
Hmm
fje n
good for youre nephew no need to turn on me i was just making a point.
EMBER you got ded
Okay, that was weird. My internet wasn't working so I was just trying to check the connection.
And I got first.
Happy!
Okay. I apologise for being rude and thoughtless.
*frowns* Damn emotionless internet. I am being sincere. Not sarcastic. I promise.
Brave, your comment about punctation being harder for you than us as you were eleven (YOUR WORDS, NOT MINE) lead many of us to assume that you could not use proper punctuation. Now we known that we have apparently assumed wrongly. Sorry for the isunderstanding. I repent of my sin and so on.
'~'
EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!!!!
I was trying to be nice to you, Brave, but don't you DARE insult Shakespeare!!!!
[glares]
I bet she's gonna ded to mycroft Holmes....
"Hi, my name is Harry and I have... two kidneys!"
LNL!
*misunderstanding
I wish Eden was here so he could see me NOT DEDICATE THIS TO SHERLOCK AND HIS PIPE.
This page is dedicated to grammar, Derek, Brave, Glee, Fabi, Star, anyone I might have forgotten, worldwide sunsets, and, as always, Mycroft Holmes and his umbrella
Ok, calm down Fabi.
[Takes deep breaths]
Don't fight, please...
Shakespeare is tremendous! I adore Shakespeare's works. Shakespeare is also an interesting person to study for English:3
Jubi.
How did you know that? *shocked*
*dances around the christmas tree*
OMG i love shrek..........
*laughs* Whenever Mycroft is mentioned on Sherlock now I keep thinking of you. :)
This is my seventh dedication to Mycroft so far!
I'll try not to, Mara, dear.
YAY LUCI!!!!!!
Im not a huge fan of Shakesapere but eh
fabi i was joking by the way he intrest me how it was wrote in our language all those years ago it really has history sorry if i offended you
Ink: Oh really? I'm glad I found my way into your heart. XD
Well Ember... It's not like you ded him ALL THE TIME or anything.... (She says sarcastically... xP)
You should be glad I don't get every single page XD
I sometimes consider not dedding to him.
It hurts my very soul.
*hums to She's Not Afraid*
Shall I tell you how obsessed I am over One Direction?
Alrighty.
I know all of their songs off by heart.
I have 8 posters of them in my room, with some homemade posters too.
I have a bracelet of them and a necklace.
I have socks, personalized Converse, headphones, a phone cover, 3 books and pyjamas of them.
I know basically everything about them that they tell their fans.
I know what Eleanour is. And Zerrie. And Payzer. And Ziam, Niam, Larry, Lilo, Zarry, Narry, Nouis etc are.
And I know more...
[Considers apology. Decides to accept it for diplomatic reasons. XD]
My friend would love you.
IM CRAZY
Luci, did you say I was, like, your Blogland little sister or something?
MYCROFT IS BEAUTIFUL
and if Rim was here I'd say something hilarious but she's not so I won't because I doubt you'd understand it
*laughs* :)
That cements it. I am going to write angry letters to Converse until they make Mycroft Converse.
Croftverse!
Wow, you REALLY like 1D, Mara!
I would love your friend.
Lu: Tell me anyway!
Welcome to Landy's Madhouse which insane person would you like to speak to?
Yep. I really, really do.
OK MY BROTHER LIKES ONE DIRECTION TWO!
He has a t-shirt that i will NEVER let him out in public with EVER hes younger than me and loves 1D i think there crap
Mycroft Poppins!
Mycroft Romney!
I'M TOTALLY INZAYN :D HAHAHA SEE WHAT I DID THERE OMG.
Yes, Maralie, my dear! You're one of my Blogsisters!:D
Brave: Thank you for sharing my opinion.
... *clenches fist* *breathes out slowly*
Brave... NEVER... say that to... a Directioner...
Nice Mara... *face palm*
I'm leaving now. Bye!
*puts up umbrella and flies away*
ahh
Emberrrrr! Don't make me laugh at . . . *looks at clock*
WHAT??????? IT'S TWENTY TO ONE?????????
its time for me to go to bed
Yay, I have a Blogsister! :D *cheers*
Brave, trust me. NEVER say that infront of Mara... Trust me
Hehe. Star, we're such rebels.
FOURS, EMBER!
Wait is Derek like our father? Poor guy has so many children
night guys
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