Hello there,
It is I, your humble Golden God, here to brighten up your day with another one of my electrifying entries into this accursed Blog-thing. I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to write about, however. Ever since I finished the book I've been kind of... aimless.
Not ENTIRELY aimless, of course. I did have things to do once I'd finished- other bits and pieces of writing to finish off. But I've finished those now, and so I'm back to being a little bit lost as to what to do.
I've been visiting a few schools- which is something I don't get to do a whole lot of anymore during my official tours. When you're a writer starting off, school events are ALL you do, because you need to reach as many people as possible and get them interested in your books. But once you reach a certain level of awesomeness, visiting individual schools is not really the best use of your limited time. So bigger school events are planned, where multiple schools come to a theatre or hall, and a lot more public signings are scheduled. By this stage, it's all about meeting the readers, and making it easier for the readers to meet you.
But throughout the year I tend to visit schools in and around Dublin, organised by teachers or librarians or parents. It's all about "this person knows that person who knows my cousin's friend", and that's how they get in touch. I can't do an awful lot of these smaller school visits, because I don't have the time, but for some reason I've been visiting a school a week for the past month or two. Which is, I admit, NOT the best use of my time when I have deadlines as tight as my deadlines have been. But hey.
So, the week before last I was at a school in Lusk. Last week I was at a school in Swords. And this afternoon I was at a school in Sutton. Next week I'll be at a school somewhere in Cork and then- THEN- I'll stop. No more. I need a break. I've got my Australia/NZ tour in August, my Ireland/UK tour in September, and before all that I think I have to pop over to LA for a bit. I need a BREAK! I need to do normal things! I need to stop signing autographs!
Ah, the life of a tortured artist...
Oh, and before I go, something you MAY be interested in. This Friday I will be posting again. Why, you ask? What could I possibly have to post mere days after THIS wonderful entry?
Oh not much. I don't expect there to be much writing involved, actually. Just a single image, perhaps. A single, solitary image appearing on the accursed Blog, sometime on Friday... What could it be? Something to do with the new book? Some kind of image to do with the new book?
It's a mystery, that's what it is. I guess you'll just have to check the Blog on Friday to find out.
Posts
About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
4,874 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 4401 – 4600 of 4874 Newer› Newest»Woo! Shakespeare!
This play makes so little sense.
I love shakespeare! What play is it?
A Midsummer Night's Dream,
It's fun to read, but the English is seriously confuzing,
Oh, I read that one! I thought it was funny when Bottom turned into, well, a bottom.
I've been meaning to read that. I never really care if I can't understand it, I just enjoy saying it in a posh accent
YAY! I know pythagorus' theorem, the night before the exam
^^
Ohwe read that last year. Then we saw the movie. The teacher didn't watch it before she brought it to class. Hahaha. Stupid her.
This year we read the mechant of venice. I wrote an epic alternate ending!
I studied the merchant of venice. Love Portia, she's so awesome.
*freaks out* I'm going to fail i'm going to fail i'm going to fail!
Which one?
Valkyrie groaned, and sat up. "I told you it was a trap," she said.
"No, you said it looked like it was a trap," Skulduggery corrected. "That's completely different."
He helped her up as a door opened behind them and Sadistica Tortura walked through, an unsettling smile on her lips. Well, she didn’t exactly walk through. Or have an unsettling smile. At least not a normal one.
Sadistica was a banana. With a smiley face drawn on it.
“Um, Skulduggery, why are we watching a banana?” Valkyrie asked, turning away from the banana and looking at Skulduggery.
“Because, my dear Valkyrie, that is what some people may call a clue,” Skulduggery answered, stepping closer to the banana. He peered down at it.
“Well, it doesn’t exactly look very threatening,” Valkyrie muttered. She did the same as Skulduggery. After a few moments of silence, Valkyrie spoke up again. “What are we doing here? There’s a banana on the ground.”
“You interrupted my thoughts,” Skulduggery sighed. “As for what those thoughts were, they had nothing to do with a banana.”
“Hey, look,” Valkyrie said, pointing at the banana. “I think it just moved.”
She was right. The creepy smile of the banana was now facing them. It moved again, this time so it was standing upright. It started hopping up and down, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie glanced at each other.
It was a ninja banana. And at that instant the banana locked onto its target for attack mode.
The banana lunged at Valkyrie’s face. Valkyrie cried out, not expecting to be hit by a banana, and tried her best to avoid letting it pop her eye. It jumped at her with so much force she was sent up against the wall. She slid to sit down as the banana lunged at Skulduggery, who, despite his usual behavior, was chuckling at the odd-looking battle scene.
“What the—“ was all Skulduggery managed to say before he was attacked. The banana leaped through his eye socket, ran into his head, then leaped out the other side. Skulduggery made an angry noise and bit down as the banana tried to climb through his mouth. He bit it in half and one half fell to the floor.
“Ew… Get it out of my skull…” Skulduggery moaned as he tried desperately to scoop the banana out of his head. It wasn’t exactly working. In fact, it was making things worse. He mushed the banana into small pieces and his hands were getting sticky from touching it.
Valkyrie got up and laughed. “Nice one, Skulduggery. It looks like you need to use the other head.”
Skulduggery pulled his hands out of his mouth and tried flicking the chunks of banana away. He motioned for Valkyrie to come over to him. When she walked over, Skulduggery threw one of his gloves at her.
“Ew!” Valkyrie lunged at Skulduggery, took away his car keys, and ran out the door. Skulduggery growled.
“Bye, Skulduggery!” Valkyrie waved, driving off with the Bentley.
OR
Valkyrie groaned, and sat up. “I told you it was a trap," she said.
“No, you said it looked like it was a trap,” Skulduggery corrected. “That’s completely different.”
He helped her up as a door opened behind them and Sadistica Tortura walked through, an unsettling smile on her lips. Her eyes burned with madness. Valkyrie and Skulduggery glanced at each other. They had heard about how dangerous she was.
She strolled over to Valkyrie, practically humming, and shoved her into the wall. Skulduggery moved to attack her but she waved her hand and he went flying off his feet. Her attention switched back to Valkyrie.
“Ah, hello dear. You must be the famous Valkyrie Cain, aren’t you? The one who stopped Serpine, Vengeous, the Grotesquery, the Faceless Ones... Am I right?” She leaned in close to Valkyrie’s face. “I hate people who stop bad guys.”
Valkyrie, who was trying her best to keep Tortura as far from her as possible, shrugged. “And we hate people who stop good guys. Could you get out of my face now? It’s a little weird, to say the least. I think now is the time to focus on Skulduggery.” She pointed behind Tortura. “I daresay you made him a little annoyed earlier.”
Tortura spun around, her ridiculous cape twirling. Skulduggery waved.
“Hello! I’m afraid my dear friend Valkyrie has been mistaken. I’m not angry. Do I sound angry? No. Would you care for a pen?” He reached a hand into his pocket and pulled out a pen, which he tossed at Tortura’s face. It hit her cheek and left a line of blue ink on her face.
Tortura’s face contorted in anger. “How dare you!” she screeched. “You’ve made me hideous!”
“You managed it enough without my help,” Skulduggery muttered. He looked up. “Oh, don’t be so upset. It only stains your skin forever.”
“What did you say?”
“Honestly, it isn’t so bad. It’ll help keep people from looking at the rest of you. Consider it a favor. And if anyone asks what it is, you can say it’s the mark of the best detective of all time. Or, you know, you wanted a tattoo but it just turned out horrible…”
Valkyrie was trying her best not to laugh. However, her best wasn’t enough, because Tortura heard it.
“Aaaaargh!” she yelled angrily. She started shaking violently.
“Dang it,” Skulduggery and Valkyrie said at the same time.
Tortura’s shaking became so violent that it was scary. And then she exploded in a burst of rainbow confetti and candy. There wasn’t even any blood anywhere. Except for her head in the corner.
Valkyrie stared. “Did she just…?”
“Yes,” Skulduggery answered. Even he sounded surprised.
“How did she turn into candy and confetti?” Valkyrie asked, stepping to the side to avoid being touched by the few pieces of confetti that were still falling.
“Maybe it was a defense mechanism. Not a very cunning one, though, as you can tell.”
“Can we leave now? I’m hungry.”
“Okay.”
Second one. Although both of them are awesome!
I'm going now. Have to get sleep so I can do maths in the morning. Bye guys!
Bye Darkane!!!
And, first one.
Although it's a tough decision, both are epica,
Dammit, I have to go as well, :\
Well, byeee, I guess.
*waves*
Agh, why'd you both have to say different one?!
Bye to both of you!
Bah da da da da da daw da da da da DA...
Ok.... what's that? It would be hilarious if you got it.
Val. Derek would laugh at the first one, but it makes the whole thing look like it was a compitition for the little minions of Derek, even though you have asimilated with his writing style fabulaously. It just the banana... *grins*
The second one is also awesome, and it looks like it could actually have happened. blah blah blah... etc. Do you get what I'm saying?
The Doctor Who theme song?
I knew you would say that.
hmm, no it was the simpsons.
Yeah, but do you think Derek would pick the less predictable one, or the one that's closer to actually happening?
That's what I'm saying...
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
I think he would pick the more likely one.
I don't know... Such a hard decision...
I watched The Woman in Black today.
I agree with the decision thing. I hate making decisions...
Cool! I watched it never!
But I have to go now, so bye!
That movie was scary... Bye Thrust!
I am angry beyond belief right now. The thing would upload my story and the contest just ended.
I sent them an email, but I don't think it'll work...
*wouldn't
Bye
Anyone one? ANYONE? Oh there you are, what are you doing in this old retirement home I'm about to blow up?
No but really, anyone here?
giraffe outside my window!!
Interesting Thrust, might you be in Africa?
I've got no strings
To hold me down
To make me smile
To make me frown
I am here now
But I must go soon
I've got no strings on me!
Eve can I put you in a story please? And can I have your OC?
Sure, hold on...
Thank you! Now I just need Miss Cain and Nix...
Taken name: Astrid Vanilla
Given Name: Eve (very much preferred. She only took a name to protect herself from evil civilianaliciouses. So call her Eve.)
Magic: Adept
She can make everyone see her as their worst fear, like an illusion. When she decides to transform her appearance (just an illusion) one person might see her as a spider, if that's their worst fear, another might see her as a snake, etcetera, etcetera.
Weapons: Her sharp teeth and sharp nails. Like, SHARP.
Personality: Eve never takes things seriously. Not even in life-or-death situations. She never thinks about the possibility of death, and everything she does is for the hell of it. She finds dramatic speeches extremely funny. She doesn't pay attention to conversations that don't involve her, and that seems to annoy some people. Yes, some would say she was slightly 'absent'. She knows this and loves to confuse new acquaintances with her nonsense. She sometimes finds herself in situations where someone is taking her seriously, in which case she will make what she is saying even more ridiculous until that person stops trying to find a shred of maturity in her, although she denies any accusations of her EVER being childish.
Appearance: Light brown hair ending at the shoulders, blue eyes that change to a more green-blue colour with the weather. Reasonably tall. Yeah.
History: *royal trumpet* Eve doesnt say much about her history. Here's what we know: She used to live in a happy family of five and a dog, then she suddenly got shot through a crazy mazy cannon all the way to Kenya. She lived with the lions, lived ON an elephant, then gave up on the whole land thing and hopped on a giant vulture called Mimi. And off to Australia they went! She migrates from place to place now, helping people out on their adventures and shouting at kids who can't spell 'humongous'.
Or so she says.
Thank you, come out Nix and Missy...
hello munchkin people...
*throws kibbles*
Hello again, Jakro. *drenches Jakro with water* *giggles* Sorry... *dries him*
Im a munchkin!!!! Memememe!!!!
Ack, i need to find some time today....WHERE ARE YOU, TIME??? *brandishes greatsword*
uuuuugggggghhh... now I must go again
*throwes marshmellowes in the shape of potatoes *
I know what you're saying Eve...
Farewell Jakro...
Bye Jakro! I send email SOON!
What, Helena?
I have to go now
Bye bye!
Oh, and tell me when you've finished the first chapter of that story you're writing :)
Sayonara!
New post on my blog but it's not the story yet.
Hello?
NIX!! Can I use your OC?
I just went for a walk. I walked through a street that had, like, a million dogs, and one by one they tried to jump over the fence and attack me. There were some real vicious looking dogs, and I would've been terrified were it not for the last dog that tried to eat me.
It was a chihuahua. xD
Hehe, chihuahua...
And by the way, Nix, you spelled 'chihuahua' wrong in Chapter Eleven
Hi Helena!
Hi Eve!
Hi Helena! Hi Nix!!
My OC: (I changed just a little bit)
Name: Nixion Strange
Age: 14, almost 15
Magic: Adept
Adept Ability/s: Bone Breaking – Tesseract
Gender: Male
Appearance: Nixion is thin, taller than the average 14 year old with brown eyes that carry a dark tormented look in them. He has long brown hair that just reaches his eyes. He wears a protective jacket on special occasions, but most of the time, Nixion just wears black leather jacket, black jeans and a t- shirt. Black boots cover his feet and he carries a machete with him at all times. He also has protective gloves, made of the same material as protective clothing, it means he can punch almost anything, and it won’t hurt.
Personality: Nixion Strange will fight, hate, kill or insult almost anything. He rarely feels anything but hate or anger. In a fight, Nixion can get overly violent and take it too far, sometimes accidentally injuring himself and his allies if in a rage which will occasionally allow him to lose control. He doesn’t like people and people generally don’t like him.
History: At the age of ten, Nixion was kidnapped by a Sorcerer criminal and was forcibly taught the Bone Breaking Adept discipline. This was done with an insane combination of brainwashing and extreme torture upon Nixion which eventually changed something in his mind, thus creating his bad temper and violent tendencies. Finally, at 11, Nixion was abruptly released with no warning whatsoever. For a while, he lost himself to insanity and killed heaps of people (so he is quite often hated by most) To this day Nixion attempts to fight the brainwashing done on him which also explains his over-the-top violence at times. A year after he was released, Nixion Strange was saved by Zathract Mist from a horde of zombies and the two kind of latched on to each other. It isn’t safe to say they are friends at all, but they are allies but also seem to be arguing constantly over almost everything.
Nixion Strange lives in Australia and helps Zathract Mist on cases for the Australian Sanctuary.
Thank you! Now I just need Miss Cain...
*remembers* Oh god, not today...
My little brother's friend Riley is coming over in an hour. He is SO annoying, I'm embarrassed to say that he is my age. I thought he was seven at first, he's just so ANNOYING. Plus, he keeps asking me out.
Nix, I thought you were fifteen!
I am, but my character hasn't had his birthday yet...
Oh, by the way, Nixion regained some sense of sanity when Mist saved him from the zombies. Still insane, just not as...
If you guys go on my blog The Danger of Words you can see the OC of the guy you're going to meet.
Oh, right. Why-
Lunch bye!
Bye Eve!
Nix, have you read about Tal yet?
Yeah, why?
Cos he's goin to be in my story also.
Okay...
He's a bit annoying so I might make you fight, or should I make you friends? How's dreams coming along?
Fight. Nixion hates almost everyone, except maybe Mist and Stavan but they fight. So really, Nixion doesn't have any friends that he doesn't fight with. He has to fight with Tal
Dreams is doing okay
Okay, good. I'm going to make Nix grunt and yell more than talk
Hi!
And scowl
Hi Eve!
Actually, he does argue with almost everything, so you have to have him arguing. He also gets mad easily
Yes, I got that. Eve, you're going to be very crazy.
But...Nix doesn't hate Mahogany....does he? *giant sad puppy eyes*
Me? Crazy? Impossible
*is juggling dwarf planets*
Well... you'll see by the next chapter
No, not hate. Just general annoyance
Good, I've got all your characters down pat.
*sniff* Okay.
Apart from your age Eve...
Pat?
It's a saying.
Oh, my age? I'm...twelve.... *is doubtful*
Okay... good.
Age has always been confusing for me in stories. Especially with Mahogany, coz she's like, 20, but she's like a sister to Eve....I guess she could be the slightly older sister, but...
I dedicate this page to age difference....
*laughs* And Caelan+Valkyrie.
Who knows... anyway home work then more writing. Then more homewrok.
I'm so glad Caelan's pretty much dead.
Completely dead, you mean
He was dead before, then he died again
Yeah
But he's not coming back this time
Unless he's zombified
We'll probably never know if he fully died. He might still be alive...
No, he died. He suffocated, remember?
What time does Derek usually post?
He can't be alive if he was a vampire. Even if he survived, he's still dead
I doubt he survived
Yes but even Valkyrie wasn't sure that he would stay dead.
I dunno. He'll probably post when it's night for us. That's what he did with the cover
Pity.
It's not even 5 there yet. He'll post it later for us
I know... it's annoying.
His throat closed up and he couldn't breathe. "Then it stopped" means he died. If Valkyrie wasn't sure, she would've checked.
Hiiii!!!!
Hi Zaf!
Hey Zafira!
NPODFJOJDFSGSKDJGPDFGSFNHMKdfogjaopfdgjpojvoaejg0piwgf0pueqpr9ti[0vkmo;jsp9gjpbn
Nix! Hi. What's FISH?
Hi Thrust!
FISH? Huh?
Hi Zafira! Hi Thrust!
I think Derek will post while I'm sleeping.....but if Derek reads this comment....its 11:24pm so excuse my terribke English....tomorrow I'm giving the link to something...funny, very funny. Involving spoons, penguins and death. Yes, my favourite!!! Private the penguin. The Facebook page I admin trust me. Killing people with spoons....whole new level. Now I NEED to sleep
Sorry... I meant FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH
Night Blogland....ill be back hopefully Derek posts like he said
Ah yes. I have no idea
Bye Zafira!
Bye Zaf!
Night Zaf.
I must be going too. My work here is done. Thank you, Nix. Are you absolutely SURE?
I'm sure that I'm not sure. Maybe
Bye Thrust!
Bye Thrust!
It is 11:30. Must. find. other. stuff. to. do. cuz. someone. will. attempt. to. destroy. me.
I don't know if they will, they're pretty powerful.
So long, everyone.
*disapears, muttering*
Bye Thrust... What's the point of the Derek Landy's overflow blog? Is it actually written by Derek?
No, but people who used to come here, what we would call Elders. This was before we used the 'going back to older posts' technique
No, it's definitely not written by Derek...
No, someone just made it. I don't think any blogland regulars go on it...
Okay, people still use it though.
No, it's not writen by Derek
I worked that out. Does he know about it?
Probably not
The last post was August, ages ago
Yeah
Heaps of those people never comment on here. How are they true minions?
You can be a minion without going on the blog
Because they were here from near the start, but they stopped
I only like one of them: Kal
I like Kallista and Octaboona
The rest I haven't met
I think I've only met Kal.
Oh, and Ocat of course
Dragona frankly annoys me. I In fact, Dragona is the only one I that annoys me really
I think I've met Dragona...once....I couldn't tell whether he was a guy or a girl. :P
:D Haha, we need to start a new conversation.
Hello.
Fine
MANGOES
Hi Cal!
Hi Calamity!
Did you all manage to get the short stories in?
Val mentioned something about the thing stuffing up for her.
It stuffed up for me too. I got my brother to change it to a .text or whatever and it worked
Shhhhh!
Don't tell anyone I'm on!
THRUST IS HERE!!!
Hello Thrust!
'Ello!
Hi Thrust!
Hey Jakro
THRUST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he nix and eve... and calamity
Hey, I want to be part of the auditions, but I can't at the moment
What is the closing date?
Jakro! Thrust! Veggie Monster!
What auditions Nix?
Hey Jakro
What's with the ellipsis?
ask the banana
@nix... once I've had at least one person try out for each role, I'll announce a deadline
@ calamity: ?????
But I want to try!
@Jakro: WHAT AUDITIONS?
Helena, check my blog:
http://ameriminionfanfiction.blogspot.com
Read and commented.
But wait Jakro, we have Aussie accents.
You have to put on an accent Helena
Still trying to find time to audition for Tanith, Jakro
everyone will bring their own portrayal to the table, it shouldn't be perfect, it should be fun... and maybe perfect... but let's not go there... ... ...
it's fine eve
I'm not sure who to audition for. Who will be in it?
I'm not putting on an accent. I could be Tanith as she has a different accent to the Irishers.
Can you please not close it until I've had a go? PLEEEEASE?
*curses*
why does everyone want to be tanith... the accent doesn't really matter...
and has everyone forgotten of poor skulduggery and china... and kenspeckle
I'll be anyone, as long as they're a guy
but nix... I think you'd make a brilliant clarabelle!
*fights to contain laughter*
...
...
...
...
...
No
Ahem. You said I'd sound better as Tanith, and I CAN'T be China. It's impossible for me, I can't do it. And I'm a girl. Do I can't be Skulduggery or Kenspeckle.
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Is it possible to audition for everything?
eve... I was refering to the others
*hands everyone flaming potatoes*
Who's going to be in it? I can play almost anybody. In my last perfomance, I had to be pregnant. Oh Golden God, it was terrible :/
aaaaaagggghhhh... sooooo many questions!
I mean what characters?
I'LL BE ANY GUY
Besidfes, you can't organise something like this and not expect questions to be asked
WE REALISED THAT NIX.
Whoops, I was too slow... again. Sorry Nix, that was meant for your first comment.
as of now, the characters are:
Skulduggery
Valkyrie*
Tanith*
China
Kenspeckle
Clarabelle
Gordon
*indicates they have been tryed out for
I'll be either:
Skulduggery
Kenspeckle
or Gordon
I'll try out for China and Clarabelle. They both start with C, like my given name. And I could play them wonderfully!
How should I present it?
Is it alright if I don't really have an accent?
just say some of that character's lines from the books
Okay! Thanks, btw I'm NOT doing an accent. Thanks!
ok
I can't put on accents, but I think I kinda have an Emglish accent anyway. Well, to people in my class anyway. Including my teacher, she's been teasing me about it all week.
That's good for trying for Tanith, Eve.
It's 5.35 am already Mr. Landy. WAKE UP!
Nix, should I just start writing my story without Miss Cain's permission?
No, wait for her permission
Eugh, she takes to long!! I want to start! What about I type it on a document and if she says no, I delete the document?
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