Saturday, April 21, 2012

This Is Not A Blog Post


Be right back, my dog is barking...

Okay then, I'm back. Sorry about that. Sometimes Mable likes to bark at walls. All very understandable, considering she has a brain the size of a pea. Before I continue I must warn you, as it says in the title, this is not a Blog post. This is me, wasting time.

Writers love wasting time. Oh we love it so much. We sit at our desks, stare at our screens, contemplate the plot points and issues we have to tackle, and then we go and make ourselves a nice cup of coffee. 

(Well, other writers do. I don't drink coffee. Instead of making myself coffee, I check on my dogs instead. The end result is the same. Time wasted, I mean. Not a cup of coffee.)

Why am I wasting time? Because I need a break from editing the book and I can't justify actually stopping work- so instead I delay work. It's all very scientific. 

For those of you paying attention, I finished the first draft of KOTW last week. My editor loves it. He reckons it's the best book so far. So now I'm doing the rewrite, which isn't so much a rewrite as an edit-

- hold on, cat needs to let in-

Right, where was I? The edit

-sorry, second cat popped up on the windowsill, and then the third, and then I had to feed them, so I've done that, and I'm back-

is going well and it's going smoothly, primarily because there are no real structural changes that need to be made to the story. I might have to get rid of a tiny little subplot here or there, but mostly it's plain sailing. Really, most of the work stems from the bits I missed out in the first place, such as descriptions and the beginnings and endings of chapters. The plan is to have this edited by Tuesday, then work on it some more the following week, and eventually hand it over, ready to be printed, by the second week of May. Ooooh deadlines... they're so funny...

But I haven't JUST been working. Oh no. I found some time to relax and have some fun, too. Last Saturday night I went to dinner with a very pretty lady (who hates when I use her name in this Blog so I won't use it) and then on Monday we drove up to Cork and visited a school that was composed primarily of insane children. It was all very odd, but a lot of fun. 

Since then, though, I've been back at work, doing my very best to ignore everything going on around me. There are so many things I have to do when this book is finished that I literally don't know where to start. For example, remember those competition winners I have to send out signed copies of Death Bringer to? Yeah, haven't sent them yet. They've been sitting on my kitchen table for MONTHS. The fact is, at this point I'm thinking why bother send them off at all? Since I've waited this long to do anything about it, why don't I wait a teensy bit longer? At some stage over the summer I'll be getting my box of brand new Kingdom of the Wicked books, so I may as well include a signed copy of THAT as well. 

So congratulations, competition winners, you'll probably be getting TWO signed books AND The End Of The World. Yay!

Sigh... I can't put it off any longer. Must get back to work. The dogs aren't barking and all the cats are in and fed. There is nothing left to waste my time with.

I think I might have to start drinking coffee...

4,831 comments:

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Star Inkbright said...

You don't get BORN with accents. You learn to speak like the people around you.

Which ist why when ich war learning to speak i could speak as much dutch as i could english . . . Aber ich habe forgotten it all now:(

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I'm not a stalker! Don't you dare call me a stalker! That puts me on a list with Caelan! And I hate Caelan!

NOM Ominous said...

DAMMIT, VLAEDR! I ALREADY TOLD YOU!
YOU"RE NOT THE ONLY "GUY" HERE!!!!

Lord Vlaedr said...

And Rim is also a STALKER!!!!!!!!

SHE ALWAYS TRIES TO GET INFO OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!

NOM Ominous said...

You know what I mean star, then

Rim. said...

Yup!!!! I might get his autograph for you and Amanda tho seeing as I sorta prefer Rory...

Lord Vlaedr said...

Thrust, lets face it...

YOU COMMENT EVERY BLUE MOON! THE REST OF THE TIME ITS JUST ME HERE!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Besides, it's always a womanland here!


Well, more of a girl land... Well, more of a teenage girl land... Well, more of a teenage girl land with the exception of me, who won't be a teenager till sunday...

Star Inkbright said...

Entschuldigung means sorry.

Ausgezeichnet word. Ausgezeichnet ist also an auzfezeichnet word. Es means amazing und es IST amazing. How ausgezeichnet ist das?

Lord Vlaedr said...

*GASP*

VAL PUT HERSELF ON A LIST WITH CAELAN!

SHE IS A STALKER AND A VAMPIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*runs for the hills*

Rim. said...

Why? I only asked how old you were and where you lived... That does sound very stalkerish... Oops... I AM NOT A STALKER!!!!!

NOM Ominous said...

Yeah, but I think what you REALLY thought, was that I was a girl.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*cries in the corner* I want to meet him so badly!!!!!!!!!! Rim, you should bring a laptop with Skype on it and have me and Amanda on the other side, then we should talk to him like that...



Wait... you could get his autograph for us?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I DID NOT! VLAEDR IS A LIAR! I'M NOT A VAMPIRE! *chases him* *tackles him to the ground*

Lord Vlaedr said...

Thrust. I always knew you were a guy. I could sense it.

*bro moment*

Star Inkbright said...

Ja, thrust.

Flame und nix und zath, Vlaedr?

Rim. said...

I guess I could if I begged him!!! And I don't even know if we get autographs! They'll announce if we do later!!

Lord Vlaedr said...

*is tackled by American*

Arg! She is trying to suck my blood!!!!!!!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I want to meet Matt Smith! He's my favourite! I even dreamed that I met him! Literally!



He was kind of scared of me, though, because I tackle-hugged him...

Lord Vlaedr said...

Flame and Nix and Zathract, is not a question Star.....

NOM Ominous said...

You don't think derek looks good val?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

DON'T REFER TO ME AS 'AMERICAN! I happen to be mostly Irish! Well, Irish and Persian, but... I'M NOT GOING TO SUCK YOUR FREAKING BLOOD!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Thrust, that's an awkward question. I refuse to answer it.

Lord Vlaedr said...

*gasps for air under the maniacal Ameri-Vampire*

Someone shoot it! Please shoot it!

Rim. said...

*hauls Val of Vlaedr* She isn't a vampire...

Lord Vlaedr said...

*runs away*

The OTHER STALKER!!!!!!

NOM Ominous said...

I know... I just HAD to ask it.
I was going to ask it right away, when you said you think matt smith looks good etc. but was contemplating it. I HAD to. ha

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*rolls eyes* You'd be able to breathe if I tackled you, stupid. I'm a twelve-year-old girl. I don't weigh enough to keep you from breathing.


Oh, and by the way, I suggest you stop making me angry, because I'M DARQUEESE, if you've forgotten.

NOM Ominous said...

OH NO! YOU DON"T SHOOT VAL! *does nothing, cuz he knows val can handle this*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*Darquesse. God, I can't believe that I spelled that wrong.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*laughs* I love how you guys just come to my defense.

Lord Vlaedr said...

True Val, true...

BUT A BLOOD SUCKING AMERICAN VAMPIRE STALKER WOULD MAKE IT HARD TO BREATHE!!!!!!

*sprints for life*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

By the way, Rim, did your friend ever make an account? *glances around suspiciously*

Lord Vlaedr said...

*stops*

Thrust. Really? I thought we had a bro moment there?

NOM Ominous said...

Would you come to my defen-
*thinks about it for himself...*

Star Inkbright said...

I dreamed i met sparky once. Und you know lav left? :( i dreamed she came back.

Once i dreamed about this book on the school nookshelf and then i was ever so puzzled when i couldn't find it irl . . . Took me quite a few days to realise it inly existed on my imagination. And the other night i dreamed about this new toothpaste, and the next day i looked all over the bathroon for it before realising i only dreamed it.

*rephrases question* are flame und nix und zath nicht regs, Vlaedr?

Rim. said...

Vlaedr... If you think we're stalkers you have seriously misjudged us....

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*calls Amanda, who lunges at Vlaedr and stomps on his head, then decapitates him and wears his head as a necklace*



Don't mess with me or Amanda...

NOM Ominous said...

you're super paranoid.
It's funny

Rim. said...

Lav left?!?!?!?!


An no but I saw him the other day...

Lord Vlaedr said...

Nah. I dont Rim. I just mess with you guys. Its what I do.

Well, Star, Zath and Nix are definitely guys... But I havent figured out Flame yet.....

NOM Ominous said...

Was talking to vlaedr... (the werewolf)

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Star's a girl, and you just called her a guy...

NOM Ominous said...

star...?

Rim. said...

@Val his voice is breaking and me and my friend keep making fun of him! Poor guy!!!

NOM Ominous said...

what val said..

NOM Ominous said...

so... are you a werewolf?

Lord Vlaedr said...

*rolls eyes*

The werewolf? Really? Its close but not exactly....

First off, I cant turn into a werewolf. I AM A WOLF. Well also a Bear. Long story.

As soon as I take off this pretty ring, see?

*points at Silver Ring*

I turn into my normal form when I take it off. Happy? You know got me to spill my beans.

I am now angry.

Star Inkbright said...

Flame ist a guy. Trust me. Flame ist emailmarried to Sparky Braginski, he's an elemental specialising in fire, he gave me my pet phoenix and me and flame want me to become his and sparky's blog-daughter. Sparky is, of course, saying no.

There, dat ist my Flame Factfile.

Rim. said...

*bear hugs Vlaedr* see bear hug? Cus you're a bear!! Get it??

Lord Vlaedr said...

And I shall not say anything more on the subject. Enough of me has been revealed today.

Read Vlaedr's adventures if you want to know more.

Star Inkbright said...

Nein, er war talking to me. Vlaedr knows my gender.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*laughs* Amanda just texted me "'Ello sweety" because she's been watching too many episodes with River Song....

NOM Ominous said...

k. thanks for clearing that up, vlaedr

NOM Ominous said...

ugh.. river song..

Rim. said...

Melody Pond... I liked the weeping angels best!!

Lord Vlaedr said...

Thank you Rim. I appreciate your humour.

You shall only know the "Bear"-minimum about me....

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Tick, tock, goes the clock,
He cradled and he rocked her,
Tick, tock, goes the clock,
Till River kills the Doctor...

Rim. said...

Ah! Bear!! I get it!!!! Childish humour!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I'm going to be a Weeping Angel for Halloween! And Ama nda's going to be a Night Terror!


At least, that's what we WANT to be...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*Amanda's

Rim. said...

Here comes the candle to light you to bed,
Here comes the chopper to chop off your head,
Chop,Chop,chop...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I can play the "Tick Tock Goes the Clock" song on cello :D



It scared my friend...

NOM Ominous said...

Can you play the doctor who song?

Zathract Mist said...

*slumps against a tree*

Rim. said...

OH CRAP!!! I've got an exam tomorrow!
night all!!!! *hugs everyone here*

Zathract Mist said...

Bye Rim...

NOM Ominous said...

Bye rim, HI zath!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I can sort of play the theme song, bye Rim, and hi Mist.

Zathract Mist said...

Hi Thrust.
Hi Val.

*slams head against tree*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Don't do that, Mist, you'll hurt the tree.

Eve the ROCK said...

*strolls in, humming*

School!

*strolls out, humming*

Clap clap!

Zathract Mist said...

Hi Eve...Bye Eve...

Zathract Mist said...

...Boom...

Zathract Mist said...

...Boom...

Eve the ROCK said...

Don't let me get me...

Eve the ROCK said...

Oh, wait,

BYE!

Zathract Mist said...

...Bye Eve...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wejl_daRVZU&feature=relmfu

This is so awesome

Zathract Mist said...

I dedicate this page to rain.
Rain makes everything better.

*hums Raining by Art of Dying as it starts to rain*

Inside it's raining...

Lord Vlaedr said...

Hello Zathract. I am Lord Vlaedr. Call me Vlaedr. I Hate Vampires (who wouldnt?). I am not a Vampire. I am thought to be a werewolf. I am not that either.

Zathract Mist said...

Uh, I already know you, Vlaedr...

Lord Vlaedr said...

I know. I just like my introductory paragraph.

Zathract Mist said...

*sighs and stands up*

...

Rain.

*vanishes*

Lord Vlaedr said...

..And once again it is just me....

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Not just you. Don't forget about me.

Lord Vlaedr said...

And if you stop for a minute!

I think about things I really dont wanna know!

*sings softly*

Lord Vlaedr said...

I would never forget about you Val.

Now. Why dont you make conversation?

Lord Vlaedr said...

And Im the first to admit it!

Without you Im a child and wherever you go!!!! I will follow!

*sings louder*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

HI KAL!




And Vlaedr, the way you said that was a bit creepy... STALKER!

NOM Ominous said...

*poof*
*Smoke bomb*

NOM Ominous said...

*Smoke clears*
*thrust is still standing there*
I love doing that.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hey, earlier I was looking at a book full of names and my name was number one in the top 100 cool names.

NOM Ominous said...

Hey. Imagine a bad guy who did that to emphasise his effect.
Like something doofenshmirtz would do...

NOM Ominous said...

Ii TOLD you it was... A long time ago. I said your nbame was the most popular.

NOM Ominous said...

DON'T YOU REMEMBER?!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Really? I don't remember that...

NOM Ominous said...

I was looking up names for a story.
I saw yourse was 1st most popular. I told you.
You said "Really? which name? I go by many"

Lord Vlaedr said...

It is a song, Val.

Thanks Kal! I think you are gone, but I will still look at that link!

Lord Vlaedr said...

Thrust, now that you have violated my secrecy, tell me....

What can you do? Seriously. I have no idea what you can do.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Not the song part, the part where you said "I will never forget about you Val." A little creepy, Mr Stalker.

Lord Vlaedr said...

Gosh how did you find out that I am a stalker...

I thought I hid it so well...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Ninjas can figure these things out. I am a ninja.

Lord Vlaedr said...

Damn. I am stalking a ninja. Typical.

Lord Vlaedr said...

THRUST GET YOUR BUTT HERE AND TALK!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Yes, very typical. Minions, attack! *ninja army attacks Vlaedr*

NOM Ominous said...

I can... be awesome. (Right Val V?)
I can write good.
I'm pretty good at art...
Oh wait you're talking about my... "powers"
I'm a simple elemental with two swords (but I only use one), and awesome personality, and a runaway reflection.

NOM Ominous said...

And I suggest you not talk to me like that, vlaedr...

NOM Ominous said...

anyway, i'm reading kal's story.

NOM Ominous said...

and watching random doctor who stuff on youtube.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*growls* Agh, I can't find the sheet music for the Doctor Who theme song!


If I can find it for the entire orchestra my teacher would let us play it!

NOM Ominous said...

I'M VERY B.U.S.Y.

NOM Ominous said...

COOL! I wish I couldd hear that.

Lord Vlaedr said...

Huh? Oh. It seems I was attacked, threatened and then ignored. All in that order.

Damn. The excitement I miss.

Thats nice Thrust. I will avoid your runaway reflection, try to find your missing second sword, and memorize my Table of Elements in case I fight you....


(Neon, Boron, Iron...)

NOM Ominous said...

... but sadly...

NOM Ominous said...

... How are you supposed to find my sword AND avoid my reflection?!

Lord Vlaedr said...

With great persistence.....

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hmmm... I will be back, but for now I'm going to go play cello...



Bye!

Lord Vlaedr said...

Bye Val!!!!

*cries*

NOM Ominous said...

Doctor WHOOOO

NOM Ominous said...

Why are you crying?

Lord Vlaedr said...

I dont know.....

NOM Ominous said...

then maybe you should stop.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Uh... Why are you crying?

NOM Ominous said...

He doesn't know.

Unapplicable. said...

Hello there.

NOM Ominous said...

HEY!

Lord Vlaedr said...

To quote an amazing game:

"Oh, Calamity!"

Unapplicable. said...

Yay Doctor Who!
I like David Tennant, but as a Doctor and companion - I like Matt Smith and Amy Pond better.

Unapplicable. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NOM Ominous said...

hmm.

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Me no understand Doctor Who

Unapplicable. said...

Hello Zaf!

Zathract Mist said...

*steps out of mist*

Unapplicable. said...

Hello Mist.
I've got to go to homeroom now. Bye!

Zathract Mist said...

Bye Cal. I has English now. Bye.

*step back into mist*

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Ooh gosh...rain...NOOO!!!! Jk jk sry hyped on sugar

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hello again!

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Hi!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

'Ello!

Lord Vlaedr said...

Hello!

Bye!

I leave! Goodbye all! Its 2:30 Am here!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Bye Vlaedr!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I'm going to play cello again (and hopefully find my music stand), so bye for a little bit!

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Ack sorry doing the interviews on roleplay. Oh i just found out one of the kids on the roleplay said their class novel is Skulduggery Pleasant! How I wish my school would do that!

Zanida Laufeydottir Queen of Asgard (Zafira Kerias) said...

Hi!

NOM Ominous said...

g2g. sry!

Reflector said...

...................................

Reflector said...

VAL V.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

SORRY I WAS READING SPARKY'S BLOG.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Agh, I need someone to write another story with Ivy in it! I need to read something, and those stories are always funny!

Reflector said...

go nuts.
Yes yes they are.
I am at this second writing the first chapter of the alien story you probably know about. well, it's dull so I'm going to have toi redo it. I don't have anything for the characters to talk about. Got any suggestions?

Reflector said...

Their just walking and eating chocolate

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

They can throw the chocolate at each other but it goes through one of their skulls and they die.

Reflector said...

Yes,but (wispers) *that's what supposed to happen to the aliens.*\
I can't bring the end to the beginning! I mean I can.. but, I can't kill the main characters.
I don't wanna.

Reflector said...

But good suggestion. Lets keep going..

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

You can have one step on the other's foot. And then they die.

Reflector said...

Oh. Did you read the mustache story? I'll bet you did. YOU DID, RIGHT?!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Uh... If I say yes, will you know I'm lying?

Reflector said...

... As I said... THE MAIN CHARACTERS AREN'T DIEIN'

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

How about... The stumble across a room filled with poisonous plants, and they touch them. And then they die.

Reflector said...

But still good suggestion. lets keep going...

Do you wanna read it? It's not long. Just two comments.
I love it.

Reflector said...

*curses* That was a pretty stunning suggestion, because:
During the summer, Sam and I did something we would regret. A big guy, named Raphe started thinking he was better than us, because he could identify more plants than us. He started to tease us and then the pranks started. The poison ivy in a kid named Steven’s bed was the breaking point. We had to get back at Raphe. Three days before the end of camp, I joined a few of my friends, and we spayed the poison ivy he gave us on some sticks, then we ran at him at the most unexpected moment. He cleverly identified the plant and ran for it. We chased him to the lake and he fell in. When he got out, he spluttered, “I… I’m going to get you for this! You’re going to regret it! You’ll see, I’ll make you!” He sounded so vicious that we knew we were going to die. We waited, completely paranoid for the next two days. He could have done anything at points in the day, but the most we got was a slight, sinister, twitching smile. It was only after camp, when all my friends said goodbye, and the stress from Raphe finally faded, bringing warmth to my body did I realize that Raphe was coming to the same high school as me and Sam! For the last week of summer, we discussed whether Raphe knew this, and all the possibilities.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Interesting.


And then you die.

Reflector said...

So... I don't know where you got that poioness plant thing, but it was surprising.

Reflector said...

you'll.. uh.. see. (depending on whether you read the story or not)

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Aha! I just thought of something!



I'm going to make one of my characters call Ivy 'Poison Ivy' to annoy her.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Yes, that does depend on whether I read it or not.








And then you die.

Reflector said...

OK, You should read the mustache story. I did it for school a really long time ago, for "You were accused for something you didn't do..."
READ IT OR DIE!

Reflector said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Reflector said...

THE MUSTACHE ACCUSATION
“O

K we all knew this would happen someday, but I never in all my life did I expect you to be behind it all.”
“I told you, it wasn’t me! Why would I do that? Tell me why I would go ahead and paint a mustache on the Mona Lisa?”
“I don’t know… You’ve done a lot of strange things,” Dad said, thinking, “You hid hotdogs in the library’s laptops and… in those people’s clothes.”
“Dad, that wasn’t me either! Why don’t you ever listen to me! That was Patty! I even showed you she had a secret stash of them in the French teacher’s file cabinet!”

“And that’s exactly how I knew it was you who did it.”
“That… Wasn’t… Me!” I said angrily. “Why do you always keep blaming me for stuff I didn’t even do!”
“Well, I even saw you when you scratched my car.”
“You did. I am very sorry about that, Dad, but that was one thing, and it didn’t even involve a whole society in mortal terror like all the other things you blame me for. Do you really expect me to be perfect one hundred percent of the time, and the one time I do something wrong I’m now bad one hundred percent of the time?”
“Not one hundred percent of the time. I remember when you did your homework last week. You were a good boy.” Dad’s face was stern. “But this is serious, Johan. People all around the world come here to Paris in order to see the Mona Lisa, and you’ve gone and given her a mustache. The ugliest goatee I’ve ever seen!”
“I… You… Don’t… Why… AAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I said and ran out of the room.
The Mona Lisa sat heavily guarded down the hall. Dad’s men were there taking shifts.
I knew this was all crazy. How could Dad blame me for doing such a terrible thing? I was the one who noticed the fine goatee under Lisa’s nose in the first place. I should get credit for that, but noooo. When DAD finds me first, it’s always “How could you do this…” Just then it hit me. All this time Dad was blaming me for this…

Reflector said...

I ran back to the office, and just as Dad finished telling his co-workers “I don’t understand this kid. He’s pretty crazy, yeah.” I yell, “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?!” Then I started thinking of reasons. He may have thought it was funny. He’s the kind of person who laughs at his own jokes. Or maybe, he had some relation with Leonardo Da Vinci and was trying to get back at some grudge the family carried for generations or something. Probably the former.
“I, ho, what? How could I do what, Johan?” Dad said trying to sound like I made a joke.
“I can’t believe I didn’t see this before. How could you do this to your own son! I know you gave the Mona Lisa the mustache! It’s obvious!” I yell.
Dad’s co-workers seemed to be on to him as well, because they lost their incredulous looks and were looking at him dubiously.
“I didn’t do it!” Dad tried, but those words were the trigger to his downfall. His co-worker pounced on him, wrestled each other on the floor, and when Dad stood up again, he was wearing hand cuffs.
“But why, Dad? Why’d you do it?” I asked emotionally.
“Well, a long time ago, I knew this man. He owned the Mona Lisa, and he said he’d pay me some of the money that he sold it to the museum for. I never got any money, and that was my revenge.” He said solemnly.
I thought about that for a moment and realized how stupid that sounded.
“It’s true!” Dad said hopefully.
“Are you sure it wasn’t something else?” I asked. “Do you know how long that painting’s been here for?”
“I… Uh… A really long time?”
“Yes! A long, long time.” I said to my Dad. This was feeling a little awkward. “Are you sure that’s the reason?”
“Well, I also did it because it was calling to me, yah know? It was so tempting I had to do it. It felt like a pretty funny thing to do… at the time…”
“I… well… guys…” I looked at the policemen for help. I didn’t want to throw my dad in jail. That wasn’t right.
Dad obviously didn’t think this was going through my head, because he moaned “Waaiit! Please don’t arrest me! I can’t go back to the slam—.” He stopped talking as soon as he realized what he’d just said.
“Back to the slammer!?” one of the policemen said.
“Oohh” Dad moaned. “Alright! Take me away, I’ve already spoiled everything! But before I go I want to tell my son something very important.”
He looked earnest, so I let him approach. “I’m… not your father…”
“NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!” I said “Wait… YES. This means that my dad’s not a criminal I have to put in jail!”
“Yes it’s true, all this time I’ve been pretending to be someone I’m not. I’m sorry.” Then with his cuffed hands in front of him, he lifted them to his neck and pulled off a mask. A man with a black goatee identical to Lisa’s lined his lips, his eyes sad.
I gasped and so did all the other cops.
“What did you do with my father? You didn’t… you know…” I said not accepting the possibility.
“Oh, don’t worry; your father’s still alive. He’s tied up under the France Bridge. I’m sure he’s OK. He’s got plenty of fish to eat.”
In came Mom with a plate of roasted mushrooms. “Mushrooms anyone?” She looked down and sees the goatee man. “Who’s this?”
“The man who painted the mustache on the Mona Lisa, who also happened to be impersonating Dad.” I said.
“Oh, OK.” Mom says and she eats a mushroom. “Mm, these are good are you sure you don’t want any?”
“Why don’t you care that Dad was this man the whole time?” I asked.
“Because” rasped the goatee man from behind.
“We already knew,” said Lisa Gherardini monotonously, who walked in behind Mom, mustache and all. “This was all a test to see if you liked roasted mushrooms dipped in plain water.
“Oh is that what that is?” said Mom, munching on a mushroom.
“Really?” I said, surprised at my indifference at the fact that there was a famous painting plus a mustache standing before me.
“No.” said Lisa with the same dull tone, “You’re actually asleep, this is all just a dream.”
“Oh that makes sense” I said, and I wake up slightly confused.
THE END

Reflector said...

Also, I had no Idea there was a difference between a goatee and a mustache back then...

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Nice, Thrust. Nice.





And at the end of the story...


Then you died.

Reflector said...

Sure...

Reflector said...

I read this short story called "Something Strange About Marci"

Reflector said...

It was cool.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I read a short story about a raven once. It was called.... "The Raven".



Well, that's more of a poem...


And yes, I know that it's super famous and Edgar Allan Poe wrote it and stuff.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

And he died.

Reflector said...

So i don't have to tell you...

Reflector said...

Maybe you should write a story about ivy

Reflector said...

Then someone can fie

Reflector said...

g2g

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I don't feel like writing right now.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Bye then.

Zathract Mist said...

....

....

....

....

Nixion Strange said...

no

Zathract Mist said...

*walks in and sits under the tree*

Star Inkbright said...

HI PEOPLE!

Msd und gtg soon.

Zathract Mist said...

Hi Ink.

Star Inkbright said...

Hi zath.

Zathract Mist said...

*goes to change some things*

Eve the ROCK said...

It's Friday, Friday, absolutely Friday!
No more teachers every day,
Not including ANZAC day!

Eve the ROCK said...

Gosh, that didn't even make sensereno flubber.

Eve the ROCK said...

Hellooooooooooooo?

Zathract Mist said...

Hi, Eve. :)

Eve the ROCK said...

Hi "Rain" Mist.
:)

Zathract Mist said...

And now the picture is there.

Zathract Mist said...

That looks so weird...

Eve the ROCK said...

Cool.

Nixion Strange said...

NO

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