To spur you on, I now present to you a picture of a cute puppy.
All hail the cute puppy!
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About Derek
- Derek Landy
- Derek Landy writes the Skulduggery Pleasant series because getting a proper job is so overrated.
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«Oldest ‹Older 3801 – 4000 of 4911 Newer› Newest»(@Gem xD yeah.)
Annabelle: We'll find them.. I promise.
*answers phone* inky?
Mercy: *grins as the phone dials*
Smith: *his phone starts to ring* yes mercy?
Mercy: *the smile fades* your not him, you can't be
Eira; *tries to break away*
Onwa: Hmm.. where would you suggest?
James: thank you.
*drinks it slowly*
*follows her, smiling*
E ed... Can you come home please ... *hangs up*
Sure *appears next to inky and Chris and wolf* what's wrong?
*mercy and Smith vanish from the bar*
MrBBWolf: *watches her*
Mark: *holds her close, grinning*
Mmm. Come on.
*Holds her wrist tightly, dragging her to the house*
*breaks down into tears* I I am so so sorry..,
Eira: no! No! Please! *shouts*
*everyone stands with their heads hung low*
Mark: *drags her to the house*
(Time skip?)
MrBBWolf: I-it wasn't her fault-t..
First good news in a while...
"Dear Noelle,
You have scheduled your on-campus interview at Yale for Friday, July 24, 2015 at 2:00 PM [...]"
he
(Okay Jai ^.^)
Eira: *is curled up in a corner*
(Well done Noelle!)
(@Noelle OMG yes!!! I'm so happy for you!!!)
Mark: *is laid out on the bed, arms behind his head*
Mmm. I could get used to this.
(well done Noelle!)
What happened? *smiles drops* what?
MrBBWolf: Sh-she.. she m-might be p-pregnant ag-gain-n..
*looks at wolf* you?!
Eira: *cries silently*
M mercy... I ... He t tricked me.. I I thought he was you *cries* y you s said how the c children could do with a a nother s sibling...
MrBBWolf: N-no! Not m-me!!! I-it was M-mercy-y!
M mercy? B but.... So he and you?...
Mark: *rolls onto his side, looking at her*
Hmmm.. what's the matter darling?
I I thought h he was you *looks to the floor*
Eira: p please,,. L let me g go...
Liliana: Somewhere that is special to you. Somewhere you have an emotional attachment to?
Parasite: You are welcome. Just keep drinking.
Bethany: *she moves to their bedroom, sitting down on the bed, smiling, starting to undress*
Your lucky wolf *eyes glow blue* very lucky
Inky... I.... *doesnt speak*
Mark: You're mine now.
Onwa: You're castle? The moon?
James: *yelps in surprise*
Jesus.. Christ. You can talk like that??
*smiles, taking off her knives, undressing as well*
*collapses to knees and cries* I I am so s sorry...
MrBBWolf: *flinches away from him*
Eira: p please... *whimperz*
Mark: No. You're part of this pack now. Be happy, you're an alpha female. You're safe.
*goes and gets a glass and bottle of very strong drink* *downs thebottle and throws the glass at the floor in front of wolf* h how c could you?
Eira: *cries* I want Cole!
I I thought h he was you !
Liliana: The first one might be a little easier. *she laughs*
Parasite: It is less talking, and more projecting my voice into your mind.
Bethany: I love you, Silente. I really do. I cannot imagine a life without you... After a thousand years of living, I have finally found where I belong, and who I belong with.
MrBBWolf: *jumps back*
H-how c-c-could I w-what?!?! I-I haven't don-ne anything..
Mark: Well Cole's gone! You saw how badly beaten he was. It's unlikely he'll survive the week.
WELL DONE NOELLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:( . . . *hugs Unknown*
I.... I n need a d drink *appears in the bar*
Eira: please., please let me find him...
Jesa: ok. Ok. We'll try to find them. But i'm not hopeful...
(Do you think cole and his family can live with jesa anna and the kids? Maybe start their own pack?)
*screams* no ed!
Onwa: *grins*
Mm..
*kisses her*
James: Mmm. It is surprising.
*drinks more, emptying the container*
*smiles, pulling her close, holding her tightly*
I love you.. you might need to lay on top of me, I'm not sure what the bedding is made of.
(Well done Noelle. That is amazing news. And good luck :)
Morgan: No, but if I had to guess, I'd say it would be more likely not to help.
(If that's all right )
Cole; *is laying under a tree as his mum treats him*
(@Gem maybe :)
Mark: NO! You're MINE now!
Annabelle: *kisses her gently*
It'll be okay..
*goes to get dressed and runs out towards the bar*
Eira: *cowers* I I'll come back... Please, I need to know if he's safe
Liliana: *she kisses her back, smiling* My castle... In the dining hall, perhaps, where we had our first meal?
Parasite: *she resumes her usual form* Hardly, not for someone who is able to access people's minds.
Bethany: I love you more than I could ever put into words... Well, I tried and touched them earlier and they seemed alright... We did... You know?
*is surrounded by empty bottles*
*enters the bar* ed! *runs to him* no more... Please no more...
Mark: No. You can stay here with me.
Onwa: Mm.. yes.
James: But for me it was a suprise.
I love you too Bethy, more than you know. Hmm.. true.
MrBBWolf: *follows Inky*
(So, can he stay with them, Jaimie? Jesa will go look for her children on her own. Anna can stay with Cole.)
Eira: I don't want you! *stands up and tries to leave *
I or w what? *drinks another bottle* y you, and m mercy... it I only h happened once right?, y you Mau not be pregnant
*looks at the floor* m more t than once... Please... Please l love me a again...
(He can stay with them, yes. I'm not sure Anna will be okay with Jesa going off on her own..)
Mark: *lunges, grabbing her wrist again, looking angry*
*attempts to calm down*
Listen, you're staying here.
M more? M more t than once? Y you must h have h had f fun
Eira: please... Please let me see him,,,
I thought he was you! *cries* I only want you!
Mark: No. Stay here. I'll look after you, but you can't see him again.. please..
Elizabeth: I shall do it in an emergency, but not before.
Ember: I think Minerve has to be careful here. One wrong move and she could spark a war with Aetas. That would be a sight to see.
Lily: Please, be careful... No war...
Elizabeth: My father cannot fight exceptionally well. I fear that Minerve would win.
Ember: Nah, with us two in her way? She'd cower in fear.
Elizabeth: Minerve is not in the habit of cowering away from people.
Ember: *she shrugs* Still, I mean, it'd be fun to see.
Elizabeth: I take no pleasure in war, I only feel pity in its necessity.
(Hi... :/
That's cool Noelle, hope you get in.)
I... Inky, y your my s soul mate
(Hello conductor)
Eira: *slaps him* I don't want to be a part of this pack if you are the alpha. I am not our mate
(Hey con!)
Mark: *holds her wrist tighter*
*grits his teeth*
You're staying here..
Liliana: It is entirely up to you, Onwa. Where we have our wedding shall be your decision, not mine. I want the day to be perfect for you, because after all you have suffered, I want there to be positivity. I want the wedding to be the one you have always dreamed of, even if I had to take you to the moon.
Parasite: I suppose there are some things you do not know about me yet.
Bethany: But I can sleep on top of you anyway. It isn't exactly a bad place to be, although I'd prefer to be under you.
Jesa: i love you so much.
*runs a hand through her hair and kisses her passionatly*
Onwa: *smiles, kissing her passionately*
*whispers* So long as you're there, and preferably not dying, its perfect.
James: Exactly.
*blushes slightly, grinning* Mmm..
(Hey Ed :P
Hey Jai :P
how's things? )
A and y your mine! P please forgive me...
Eira: *keeps slapping* no I am not!
(I'm off to bed now
Carry this on tomorrow ^.^£
Annabelle: *kisses her passionately back, smiling, holding her close*
Ben: *nibbles Jesa's foot*
Mark: *brings an arm up to shield himself*
YOU'RE STAYING NOW SIT!!!
(Nos da Chloe :)
(Nos Da ! *offers hug* )
Liliana: *she kisses Onwa passionately back, smiling* Nevertheless, I want it to be perfect. So if you want it on the moon, it shall be on the moon. No doubt humans have technology we could use to breathe.
Parasite: Still, I am sure you will become acquainted with me sooner or later.
Bethany: So where do you want me to be?
(@Con things aren't too bad.)
My mum needed one more dress to go to Italy (she's going with her friend. It's the reason we've been selling stuff at car boot sales), and so she decided, whilst at the car boot sale, that she would look around to see if she could buy a dress there.
She bought one, and then later decided that it was too young for her adn that I could have it.
I'm not going to go into a full-on analysis of her behaviour, but I'm pretty sure she bought it with the expectation that I would have it if she didn't like it so it didn't matter if she didn't like it because it would still get use.
How??? Why???
I don't like dresses. She should know this by now??
Why would she expect em to wear it???
What a waste of money.
I mean, I know it didn't cost that much, but I spent eight hours sitting at that car boot sale being dead from tiredness, and we only made ~£30 altogether. Why would she waste some of that money buying a dress for me (ish) if she knew I didn't want it??????
Why????????????????
Maybe she thought that now I'm wearing jewellery, I would have relaxed my policy on dresses.
:/
Nah mate.
On another note, I've just seen a thing that said "Please allow 2-3 weeks for delivery," and that was to non-international orders (they're shipped from the US).
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Alright, that settles it. I'm ordering it now. XD
(Nos da Chloe
I'm off too, night)
Onwa: Hmm.. maybe we should honeymoon on the moon instead. I'll be most powerful there..
James: *grins* Soon.
Under.. You're a comfy pillow.
Morgan: *nods to Elizabeth*
*carefully memorises their conversation so he can check over the words later - he might miss something now*
( That's good :P )
(@Star yeah, that settles it xD)
(Star, dresses can be useful, depending on the situation. Even if you just have it in your wardrobe, at least you have one if there does come a time when you find yourself in need of a dress. They are not so bad for fighting in, for example - much easier than most forms of trousers.)
((@Jai: XD Thanks.
Omg.
Can't believe it's easier for Morgan to memorise their conversation that to think about what they're saying. XD))
(*GASPS!!!!* Did Sophia, the Sophia who I had to BEG to wear a dress at the requiem ball, just say dresses weren't bad?!?!?! *faints*)
@Sophia: Mmh. Thanks. :)
(Although, that depends on the dress. Some skirts/dresses can restrict leg movement rather a lot. Not this on in particular, but sometimes when I'm at school and I try to run I'm like "*can't move legs* *has to scrunch up toes* *has bag falling off shoulder* *slows to walk*"
XD)
(well she can't make you wear it sooo :/ I dunno, if you need one you have one?)
Liliana: Mmm... I do like the sound of that.
Parasite: Indeed.
Bethany: *she nods, laying down in the bed, smiling*
Ember: There is great pleasure to have in war. It is a very emotional time, regardless of my attraction to large explosions and general forms of destruction. And, for me - as someone who lives using emotional and impulse alone - war is a very nice experience. It is fun. Enjoyable. I see a battlefield full of enemies, and wonder how long it will take me to burn them all alive.
No, she can't make me wear it.
I'm not complaining about owning it, I'm just staring at her actions in incomprehension. :S
Morgan: Right.
(Jaimie - I am merely stating they have uses. In terms of how they look and how they feel to wear, I believe they are atrocious things.
Star - Indeed, it would depend on the type of dress that you have.)
Onwa: *chuckles*
I thought you would.
James: Mm.. *smiles, kissing her gently*
*smiles, crawling onto her, cuddling against her*
@Sophia: Yep.
That one isn't movement-restricting, so it's all good. :)
(*rolls eyes at Soph* You still admitted they aren't bad. And they don't look bad on certain people!)
(Ben nibbles on my foot? Is ben in our cave now too? *smirks*)
Jesa: ok. We'll try and find my pups. At some point.
(Ah, oops. I meant copper. My brain said Ben..)
Annabelle: Good. I'll help.
COPPER: *bites Jesa's foot*
Oh, dresses can be beautiful.
I'm not desiring to look beautiful.
So long as my appearance comes out at 'decent,' I'm happy.
Jesa: No. You stay here and watch the pups...they need their mother. I'll go on my own.
Annabelle: No. What if you get hurt??
(I said they were not so bad for fighting in, Jaimie. I was able to kick people more effectively than I would have been in restrictive trousers, and the lack of weight meant I was quicker at aiming and slightly faster at moving than I would have been wearing armour.
Star - Therefore it would be good in a situation in which you were required to fight.)
Liliana: *she kisses Onwa passionately again*
Parasite: *she kisses him back* Mmm... You'd better not just be using me for sex and a way to survive here. I won't ever stop following you if you are.
Bethany: *she smiles, holding her close to her* I am yours.
Elizabeth: And that is why Archeos is allied with no one rather than Minerve, and Berengaria is allied with nearly everyone, other than Archeos and Minerve, whether they are gods or mortals. Peace brings better rewards than war.
Lily: I agree... with Elizabeth.
*waves*
(@Soph which counts as appraisal.)
Onwa: *kisses her passionately back, smiling*
James: How lowly do you think of me?
*entwined their fingers*
I love you.
(*waves @zaf* Hey... how's you?)
((@Sophia: If I'm in a situation where I'm required to fight, I believe I am screwed regardless of my attire, but thank you. :P))
Morgan: *continues to memorise*
I agree on the whole, but war can sometimes be necessary.
(The hacker girl on humans reminds me of one of my friends who I haven't spoken to in ages..)
(*watching the roast of bieber* I hope he gets slammed :P I didn't see it b4 because I hate him but I thought it'd make me laugh.)
@Jai: Really?
(@Star yeah. Partially in appearance but also in personality.)
Jesa: i get hurt all the time, Anna. I'll probably get hurt even when you're there. I'm the strong one...i'll be fine.
*picks Copper up and bites his nose lightly and smiles*
@Jai: :)
I wonder what it would be like to judge Leo without the bias of "OMG I love Merlin awwwwwhhhhh." XD
Mhmph..
..
My brothers just said "whatever" when I told them about my interview. *Closes get eyes*
And John has been... Unnecessarily cruel towards me.
I just can't take it anymore
Annabelle: Jes.. please? I want to protect you.. and to meet your sons.
Copper: *wolf grins*
*licks her face, slobbering all over is*
(Star - Nevertheless, it cannot harm your chances.
Jaimie - Everything has a use. It is not appraisal, only a fact. Stating an example of a use of an object is not appraisal, only a possibility.)
Liliana: Will you be able to keep me alive on the moon by yourself?
Parasite: I barely know you, I am only stating that it is a possibility.
Bethany: *she smiles* I love you, too.
Elizabeth: Yes, war can be necessary, but taking pleasure in it is something that I disagree with.
(*hugs Noelle* that.. isn't very nice of them..)
@Noelle: -_- They should treat you better . . . :/ *hugs*
If it helps, my dad says 'whatever' in a bored voice to my mum whenever she tells him something about her life and it upsets her, and I know my dad does love and care about my mum . . . 'whatever' =/= lack of caring about you.
(*grins at Soph* Its appraisal.)
Onwa: I should be able to..
James: Mmm.. have a little faith.
*kisses her gently*
((@Sophia: No.
Wax said the same about Marasi in The Alloy of Law. :P))
Morgan: So long as you don't let it influence your decisions . . . I think it can be fine.
Jesa: Mmm...thanks for that, Copper.
*tickles him*
Anna, who'll watch the pups?
Copper: *yaps, squirming*
Belle: *charges, bumping into Jes*
Annabelle: Cole could baby sit..
Liliana: Good. Then my life shall be in your hands.
Parasite: Faith does not stop you from being betrayed.
Bethany: *she kisses her back, closing her eyes*
Elizabeth: Those who enjoy war usually seek it out.
Morgan: And I disagree with that, for the most part.
Onwa: Mmm..
*kisses her gently*
James: true.
*smiles, resting against her*
*murmurs*
Good night..
Liliana: *she kisses her back, smiling* Mmm... I cannot wait.
Parasite: I was only being careful.
Bethany: Goodnight, Silente. *she opens her eyes to look at her, before closing them again* I love you.
Elizabeth: It is only natural to seek out what you enjoy, and avoid what you do not.
Jesa: *tenses*
Yeah...if ye's not dead. Wasn't he meant to fight today?
(Let's just say this conversation skipped to the day of the fight lol)
*tickles Copper and Belle*
Onwa: *grins*
Nor can I.
James: I suppose so.
*frowns*
Can you get pregnant?
*smiles*
I love you too.
Morgan: Of course.
You could probably make use of those desires in a way that causes more good than harm, though.
Annabelle: Yeah.. he was..
Copper: *squirms, yapping*
Belle: *squirms, grinning*
(Hello :)
Msd but is here until then )
Liliana: It will be the best day of my life.
Parasite: How am I supposed to know? I have never tried.
(Time skip, Jaimie?)
Elizabeth: How? Destruction and death rarely helps anyone. Especially the death part. Death causes you to go to Minerve's realm, where you can, if she chooses, be tortured for eternity.
Jesa: we'll see how things turned out tomorrow. For now let's get some rest.
*turns into a wolf and cuddles into Anna*
(Hey Rhos)
((:) Hey Rhos.))
Morgan: As someone who lives with people who regularly cause small-scale death and destruction, I'd say it can be pretty useful on occasion. Yes, it rarely helps anyone, but that doesn't mean it never does. The people who wish to cause such death and destruction are also fairly rare.
*memorises that last sentence*
(Hey Rhos :)
Onwa: Mmm.. Good.
James: Hmph. That'll be fun to find out..
(Yes.)
Annabelle: *strokes her fur*
Belle: *attacks her tail*
Copper: *chews her ear*
Jesa: *lays down, glaring at Belle and trying to shake Copper off of her tail*
(I'm going to bed. Continue in the morning, Sid :)
*cuddles Jaimie tightly*)
Copper: *lets go at the look, curling up against her*
Belle: *keeps attacking her tail, trying to pounce on it*
(Night gemmy! *cuddles back*)
(Hello and goodnight Gem *hugs* )
(Good evening Jai and Star *hugzies*
Good evening Soph
How be you all? )
(*hugs Rhos back* but later than evening Rhos.)
@Rhos: :) Good, thanks. Less tired than I was earlier today, so yeah. :) :) I'm just sort of roleplaying and talking to people online now, which is kinda fun. :P
How're you? :)
(Oops. Got them mixed up. Oh well. Night.)
I have the feeling I was doing something - thinking about something, or saying soemthing, or - something - but I can't remember what. D:
Lizzie says she can't be bothered to be agressive anymore so we can do what we want and she gives up.
Yay?
(@Star I.. would say that isn't yay?)
(okay Jai? *is totally confused by what you said* )
Thats great how you are so tired now Star and sounds like good times there lol :P
As for myself, well I'm tired, but will be okay for now and I'm feeling pretty good, was making a friend of mine happy (if you know what I mean ;) ) (yeah that kind of context lol ) and yeah, I guess thats a yay moment :) especially because no more aggressiveness from Lizze :P
Relish it while it lasts, because there's a chance she'll change her mind )
@Jai: Mmh, well. Maybe not. But at least I don't have to worry about being physically assaulted if I don't spend every momne tof my life doing what she wants?
(Okay, I may have used hyperbole in that last sentence. :P Although I AM kinda worried I'll be hit with a brick if I irritate her too much.))
@Rhos: :)
And . . . um. Okay. :P
Yay? :) :P
Idk. She doesn't always go back on decisions lightly. :P
(@Star but that probably means something is wrong with her..?)
@Jai: Nah. Not really. She's probably just mad adn upset. Which, like, happens when we constnatly disappear.
@Star :) and yes yay (well yay for me and my friend ;) hehehe )
But yeah, so if she doesn't always go back so easily, well i can honestly say enjoy it :D and don't get hit by a brick, it'll make a mess..... )
(*closes eyes to sleep*
*immediately opens them again*
There's a monster on my eyelids..)
(*hugs Jai* can you get rid of it? (I.e the monster ) )
(*hugs Rhos* I don't know..
I really do not want to have nightmares tonight..)
@Rhos: :) Thanks.
I'll try not to be. :P
@Jai: :/ . . . . . . . .
(Hmmmm..... Well how tired are you, because maybe you could read a book? )
Listening to calming music makes me feel sleepy.
It might also help you fall asleep in a calm state of mind, decreasing chance of nightmare?
(Guessing here.)
OMG
Just took that personality test again (for the fourth time).
Got ISFP-T (low on S)
OMG
There's still a few flaws but THIS IS SO ME.
Freaking out. :P
ISFP personality types are true artists, but not necessarily in the typical sense where they're out painting happy little trees. Often enough though, they are perfectly capable of this. Rather, it's that they use aesthetics, design and even their choices and actions to push the limits of social convention. ISFPs enjoy upsetting traditional expectations with experiments in beauty and behavior – chances are, they've expressed more than once the phrase "Don't box me in!"
Happy to Be Who They Are
ISFP personalityISFPs live in a colorful, sensual world, inspired by connections with people and ideas. ISFP personalities take joy in reinterpreting these connections, reinventing and experimenting with both themselves and new perspectives. No other type explores and experiments in this way more. This creates a sense of spontaneity, making ISFPs seem unpredictable, even to their close friends and loved ones.
Despite all this, ISFPs are definitely Introverts (I), surprising their friends further when they step out of the spotlight to be by themselves to recharge. Just because they are alone though, doesn't mean people with the ISFP personality type sit idle – they take this time for introspection, assessing their principles. Rather than dwelling on the past or the future, ISFPs think about who they are. They return from their cloister, transformed.
ISFPs live to find ways to push their passions. Riskier behaviors like gambling and extreme sports are more common with this personality type than with others. Fortunately their attunement to the moment and their environment allows them to do better than most. ISFPs also enjoy connecting with others, and have a certain irresistible charm.
ISFPs always know just the compliment to soften a heart that's getting ready to call their risks irresponsible or reckless.
However, if a criticism does get through, it can end poorly. Some ISFPs can handle kindly phrased commentary, valuing it as another perspective to help push their passions in new directions. But if the comments are more biting and less mature, ISFP personalities can lose their tempers in spectacular fashion.
ISFPs are sensitive to others' feelings and value harmony. When faced with criticism, it can be a challenge for people with this type to step away from the moment long enough to not get caught up in the heat of the moment. But living in the moment goes both ways, and once the heightened emotions of an argument cool, ISFPs can usually call the past the past and move on as though it never occurred.
Meaning Is in Every Expression of Life
The biggest challenge facing ISFPs is planning for the future. Finding constructive ideals to base their goals on and working out goals that create positive principles is no small task. Unlike Sentinel types, ISFPs don't plan their futures in terms of assets and retirement. Rather, they plan actions and behaviors as contributions to a sense of identity, building a portfolio of experiences, not stocks.
If these goals and principles are noble, ISFPs can act with amazing charity and selflessness – but it can also happen that people with the ISFP personality type establish a more self-centered identity, acting with selfishness, manipulation and egoism. It's important for ISFPs to remember to actively become the person they want to be. Developing and maintaining a new habit may not come naturally, but taking the time each day to understand their motivations allows ISFPs to use their strengths to pursue whatever they've come to love.
They're saying I don't enjoy words and debates. -_-
This sounds like my mum. :P
I'm guessing Jai went to sleep.
Mmh, nah, still frustrated.
Hello, Star.
:) Hey Grant Ward.
Took it again. Got ISFP-T again. With more S.
Should probably go to sleep. Msd
You should, Star.
*nods at Ward :/*
I miss my darling..
(Hi Noelle :P btw I think I either missed or glanced over what happened... what happened with the rehabilitation thing? If you don't mind my asking.
That reminds me I saved that email for when I had time... I have time and I want to be disgusted brb going to read it :P )
I miss laughing
I miss role playing
I miss being worry-free
I miss my old friends
I miss being loved
I miss being normal
I miss being excited
I miss all-nighters
I miss cheering
I miss delight
I miss him
I miss being accepted
I miss chatting forever
I miss the addiction
I miss it all.
But I'm not allowed to have it back.
I guess, most of all
I miss not hating myself
Not being suicidal
Not cutting.
....
(I mean those last things are good ...
you can rp and laugh and you are loved, as for normal no one is why would you want that it's boring :P, all nighters are fun... :/ but harmful if too often, cheering is easy, delight a show, him ... I'm not sure about, I can chat? addiction to?
Ever step away from wanting to hurt yourself is a step into th light and one day hopefully you will be flooded by it again and all of the good things that you miss will be so easy again.)
*hugs Noelle* Keiron said most of what I was going to, tbh . . . :/
I miss you. :/
(Sleep not happening; I'm just dropping in before trying again.)
(*nods @Star* I'll take it that's a good thing...
*offers hug* go to sleep b4 I have to come up with a new song :P )
@Keiron: Do, I think. :)
The sleep thing is not happening.
OMG.
After I'I've been so tired today, I can't believe this. :/
(okaii actually read that Noelle sorry it took so long, I loved it, and a part of me said it wasn't enough.... *cough* not psychopathic was not smiling as he found the knife to be his answer.... okaii wow I'm screwed in the head...
oh sleepytime, oh sleepytime, Starry should do the sleepy thing :P hehe )
As I'm apparently here . . .
We're all (minus one of us) prepared to accept you back, Noelle . . .
(Although that one can make a difference).
No, I don't understand you. How could I? I'm rarely properly sad. Far off having had a minor depressive episode. A major one? Yeahhhhh no. So yeah, my empathy malfunctions and gives way to helplessness most of the time.
But y'know, you don't have to understand someone to accept them. I mean, I'm not sure I'like ever under stand myself, but we live together perfectly happily. Or I do. Or something.
I'm also pretty sure most of us are happy to roleplay with you, judging from the multiple offers and compliments you got last time.
I . . . I'm not a miracle worker. I'm not even a half-decent worker, if I'm honest.
But as of now (mmh, time frames are odd, but 'now' rather works), I am prepared to try. Try to - do the whole Bloglandian friendship thing.
I can't promise that'll be a wholly successful thing, because helplessness, and I have a feeling I have a lot more screw-ups in line before I manage the whole caring-about-people thing. But . . . yeah.
My eyelids are closing as I type and my phone is spazzing. I might attempt the sleep thing again.
My inner self is scared . . .
NPt that I was not prepared to try BEFORE now. But like . . . time frames. If I know it will be from now, I may as well use now.
Ugh
I keep forgetting I don't make sense.
Hey
hey guys
it's after midnight.
It's officially Monday.
You know what this means?
Today is officially Day Four!
*throws confetti*
After today, I will be over halfway through Week One. :)
(you make sense to me star :P but I don't make sense to a lot of people so yeh.
just because I know what it's like to be depressed and to self harm etc I Don't think it makes it any easier everyone has it different... I managed to pretend to be happy whilst I was depressed and the only reason I did that was for other people... so that I wouldn't have to explain my demons, as the joker says "smile because you have to smile, smile because it's easier than admitting you're crazy, smile because you're you and they don't matter, they don't care about you, why do you care about them? smile to show them you don't care. Smile because you could kill them at any second." I'm paraphrasing a little.... )
(week one of what?
go to sleep! :P Go to sleep, go to sleep now starry, close your eyes count the sheep and go the f*** to sleep hehe)
Your depression is different than mine.
Mine is... A crippling ailment, like a broken leg. It's impossible to try to pretend it isn't there. I don't have the energy to try to be happy. I can't be happy because no one loves me. I can't because, even though people tell me that they love me, I can't feel it. Everyone here says that they love me- they very well may love me- but I can't feel it. I can't believe it. I just can't, and I can't change that. Willpower is... Passing dust. It's a joke. No amount of willpower could heal a broken leg, or heal HIV, and for me, no amount of willpower can ensure that dopamine remains in the synaptic gap between my neurons for longer periods of time. Literally, the chemicals that make me happy are absorbed too quickly, or not enough is released at all- and I can not just wish that away.
That's why my situation is just... So hard.
Because words from other people are useless to me. I appreciate the sentiment, sure, but in the end, it can't do anything for me. I don't feel anything, and I don't have the energy to try to make myself feel- because it is useless, in the end.
Kind words just fall upon my deaf ears, and kind actions go unnoticed by my blindness. I can't see it- and I don't know how to fix it. It's infuriating sometimes how people tell me to "just be strong", because it isn't as if I'm trying to fix myself. I am. Of course I am. I'm just tired from running again and again into brick walls.
I just can't move some days. I want to sleep all day. I've slept so much... My body is just utterly depleted. I don't have any energy to try for others. I can't. I won't.
...
There you go.
I also harm myself.. I harm myself because I hate the way I look, and I do it to punish myself. When people try to fix me, and try to take my depression into their hands, it is often more hurtful than helpful. The reason is because I want to be responsible for my depression. When people try to tell me to be strong, &c, I feel as if I'm a helpless animal- the anxiety bubbles inside of me like boiling water, and it needs something.
Self harm can't be substituted, either. People say that snapping a rubber band is a good substitute- but it isn't. Those people who say that.. Don't understand.
The appeal is seeing all of my blood bubble over... The appeal is in the danger. Every time I harm myself, I face risk of infection, or illness, or tetanus. The pain is a second to those two- because the pain... The pain doesn't really stop. The adrenaline however... It speeds up my mind, and for a few sweet moments, I'm numb. Not the "I can't feel anything numb", the physical hurt from the depression momentarily goes away.. The sugar gives me a boost, and I have a theory that it releases dopamine, or endorphins.
But...
For me, that is how it is. It's relief, for the most part. (Seldom is it for punishment, when pain comes first, but that is usually when I'm very upset with myself)
The sleep thing is still not happening. :/
@Conductor: Of not skin picking. :)
And, I can't sleep. -_-
@Noelle: :/ I'm sorry . . .
Those words are insanely pathetic even my my standards . . . I feel a deep sense of apology tempered by regret and guilt and sadness, fuzzed over with the blankness that sleep deprivation grants me.
I don't know how to make you believe my words. If I could, I would have already.
I get the sense I'm not replying with my full mental capacity due to being tired. This is just a disclaimer to warn you of that.
Is there any way for us that you know of for us to show you we care?
:/ I'm pretty sure - no, definitely sure - that you know much more about how to help than never, and thus any advice I could gain from a quick Google search would be pointless.
(It is rather good, this blankness. It dampens my emotions and so takes away my fear.)
..
I think that's right
I can't think right now...
I just wanted to explain myself.
Please don't yell at me Sophia, when you see this. My purpose isn't to trigger, but to explain.
We've gone though this before...
Just olease don't yell at me.. That doesn't help.
..bye
Can you get adrenaline from other activities?
Sophia criticises pretty much everyone, Noelle . . . It's not personal, and not specifically targeted. I know you'be probably been told this before and it doesn't mean the criticism won'r hurt, but U thought it might help to repeat it. If not, nI thing ventured, nothing gained.
(I have a reply to that I don't think it's suitable for here... I could email if you want to know... maybe? because although it's different, it's not as well, you know? I just learned to put up with it and pretend to be someone else... other version is more descriptive
well done Star :P and *sighs* not fair.)
*wanders on after five hours of sleep*
*is somehow les tired than I was yesterday*
Liliana: Will it be for you?
Parasite: Mmm... Yes.
Bethany: *she wakes up, yawning, cuddling against Silente immediately*
Elizabeth: Perhaps in your worlds, but not in mine.
Morgan: Not knowing your world, I can't argue with that.
(Noelle, as Star said - I criticise nearly everyone when they need criticising. Currently, all I have to criticise is what you essentially said "my depression is worse than yours", when it is not some form of competition. You could have said, "That will not work", and accomplished exactly the same, without the risk of belittling someone's feelings. I criticised people when Jaimie was upset for belittling her feelings, so I have to do likewise with you. I perfectly understand that you were trying to explain, hence why I said the risk of belittling someone's feelings. But if your depression is like, "A crippling ailment, like a broken leg", what would that make someone else's? A lesser, minor injury?)
Elizabeth: Everyone who supports Minerve and Archeos wishes for destruction, just to larger or lesser degrees. Minerve wishes to destroy existence.
(@Sophia: Mmh.)
Morgan: Why?
(Noelle, i want you to come back to the blog. I want you to laugh, to be able to RP, to do all the things that will make you happy. I miss you too...
if you don't think you can come on the blog, we could always RP over E-mail if you want and i will try my best to make you happy because i hate seeing you like this...i want it to be the way it was before the whole zafira situation.)
(Hello Star, Sophia)
*hugs Gemma* :/
Hi. :)
*hugs Star tightly back*
How are you this morning?
And it's nice to see you RPing with someone, Star, because you hardly ever RP :)
:) :)
I'm fine, thanks. :) Less tired than I should be. :S
Thank you. :) Yes, it is. :) :) It's mostly due to lack of time, though. Now I'm off school, I have time. :P
How're you? :)
Star you should really go to sleep earlier. I know that you couldn't really sleep last night but there are multiple things to try if you can't sleep. I only ones i know are: taking a bath and reading a book. I'm sure there is something you can drink...warm milk maybe?
Aww ok ^.^ well maybe we could RP some time when you're off school then.
And i'm good, thank you for asking.
Ember: It is in her nature. She has a large majority of the destroyer within her.
Elizabeth: And those who have had billions of years in isolation rarely do anything constructive.
(Hello, Gemma.)
(How are you this morning, Sophia?)
(I am alright, yourself?)
((@Gemma: Not my fault. -_-
I couldn't take a bath, because it was the middle of the night and like . . . scary; my family were asleep. Also I don't like baths. XD
Reading a book would probably have been a good idea, though . . . thanks. :)
I'm sort of permanently off school now. :) Summer.
Msd. Need to eat breakfast and go get money out the cash machine to buy my necklace.))
Morgan: *nods, thoughtfully*
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