Thursday, September 22, 2011

Another Tour Over

Well... THAT was a tour...!

I've been back home for a few days, trying to get used to sleeping in my own bed and struggling to figure out how I managed to exist without someone from Publicity leading me to and from destinations, ordering me food, arranging hotel rooms and cars... It's not easy, adjusting back into normality, especially after meeting thousands of readers, many of whom go strangely quiet when they finally get their book signed... Not all of them go quiet, however, but we'll get to that...

I flew to London on September 2nd, a Friday, and had dinner with my VERY lovely agent Michelle, where we talked about all manner of cool things- INCLUDING the kitchen that I'm planning on refitting. (See? Seriously cool things like that my kitchen. I live such an exciting life.)

Saturday morning, Publicity Girl Extraordinaire Tiffany picked me up from my hotel and we started a day of public signings in Brent Cross and Bromley. Oh dear GOD. People had been waiting for hours- the queue went on forever- and a certain number of Skulduggery fans were actually screaming. Then they descended on me with their mad, crazy babble. I sat there, stunned, as they babbled and yattered and chattered and gibbered. I was given an inflatable unicorn called Clarabelle, and I'm pretty sure I was proposed to.

That evening I flew to Edinburgh, and the next morning Publicity Girl Extraordinaire Mary picked me up and I did events in Perth and Stirling, both of which were amusingly manic.

On Monday, we were in Glasgow, and I did TWO 400 person events one after another... This is when my voice started to go, and by the time I turned up at Waterstones that evening, I was definitely starting to worry. My voice has never been a problem before, but then, every tour the queues get longer, and I chat and laugh with more people, so it was only a matter of time before I was talking constantly for 8 hours a day... My poor voice just wasn't prepared for it.

We finished up in Scotland on Tuesday and drove to Newcastle, and from there it all started to blur together. We were in Bolton next, then Sheffield and Boston, then Cambridge and St Albans, and I met so many Skulduggery readers who each had their own theories as to what's going to happen next, and their own opinions on what just happened in Death Bringer, and each and every one of them were unique oddballs who made me grin and chat more and lose my voice AGAIN...

And then suddenly it was Saturday, and I was in Muswell's Children's Bookshop, talking to my old English teacher who'd come along, and I was given a WONDERFUL cake by a couple of readers who'd made it themselves. And then- Bluewater. The legendary Bluewater, where the queues are longer than anywhere else. If there is one thing this tour has taught me is how to speed up while signing, and I was definitely signing faster here in order to make it to the airport for my flight... But I did it, and I hopped on the plane, came home, and the next day I was at the Mountains to the Sea Festival in Dun Laoghaire, meeting the coolest people and getting lots of hugs.

Then I had a few days off, and Publicity Girl Extraordinaire Sam came over, fresh from her wedding, to spend time with the TRUE love of her life- me. Over the next three days we did events and signings in Tallaght and Kildare, Liberty Hall and Swords, and finished with epic signings in Dundrum and Blanchardstown.

And now? Now I'm finished.

I must, at this moment, thank my Publicity Girls. Thank you very much Catrina, it was so good to meet you! Thank you Mary- a few years ago I changed your life when I introduced you to the glories of the Gilmore Girls, and now I think I have done it again by introducing you and your family to the classic Batman: The Animated Series. Sam, after a few days with me, I hope life with your new husband won't appear too drab by comparison. And last but not least, Tiffany. Tiffany has been around for a few years, but this is the first time she's ever come on one of my tours, and unfortunately it's also going to be the last, as she heads back home to America in a few weeks. Tiffany was a wonderful companion, completely overawed at my wit, which is understandable. I knew we were going to get on when I heard the Imperial March coming from her phone.

I just want to thank all of you who came to an event or a signing- it really gives me a thrill when someone says "Hi, I'm Sue, but you probably know me best as Raven Darkclaw from the blog/facebook/forums." So many of you guys identified yourselves to me and it was like meeting an old friend for the first time. The lovely thing about these tours is when the Publicity Girls say how much they love the people who come to get books signed. For some reason, they seem to think you guys are fantastic, and fun, and sweet, and smart, and hilarious and goodnatured. I try to explain that ALL of my Minions are this way, and you are. From the people who froze when they met me (which is ALWAYS amusing) to the people who just wouldn't stop talking, to the girls who were practically hyperventilating, you were all magnificent. I don't particularly like going away to stay at bad hotels for a week, but every single one of you make it all worthwhile.

And I know I missed huge chunks of Ireland and the UK, but hopefully we'll visit your area next time. Next year there'll be more tours to add on, and whatever else pops up. Whenever I get a request, I do take note of it, because I know there are passionate readers all over the world who just want a chance to meet their Golden God. All you folks in Singapore, and Australia and New Zealand, and all the requests I get from Sweden and Germany and Canada and Estonia, not to mention you Americans...!

I really hope that one of these days I'll be able to tour America, but I just want to say right here and now that I truly appreciate all your support. It's not easy for you guys- not least because only the first three books are officially available over there- so your support really does go above and beyond the call of duty. I hope to be able to do something nice for you sometime soon, in thanks. In fact, how many of you are actually out there? I know Kallista is American, and Skulgirl, and I think Mar Chu, but how many others?

American readers, let yourselves be known!

One more thing, before I head off. It's thanks to you guys that Death Bringer sold so well, so thank you for officially making Skulduggery Pleasant a NUMBER ONE Bestselling Series!

Now I have to go. I need to finish The End of the World in the next few days. I love my job.

3,660 comments:

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amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

hm brb

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*attempts to grab Skulduggery but can't even lift my arms*

You should watch Alice in Wonderland!

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

i dont think i have it

The Wannabe-Author said...

9. You should watch 9. 9 by Tim Burton. Cool film. Very creepy. Very weird. Suits me perfectly.

Bella, do you want to help me hug Skulduggery to death? BTW I think Derek only comes on once a few days...

*Skulduggery looks down at me suddenly and I laugh*

The Wannabe-Author said...

Bella, do you want a hug from Skulduggery? *Holds startled Skulduggery out like a little girl would hold out her favorite toy*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

he should do an audio book and derek should read it

The Wannabe-Author said...

they have audiobooks. Some randomer reads it though... Amelie, do you want to hug Skulduggery?

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Skulduggery throws flame at me and I dodge. He attempts to kick me but I move and grab his leg, then pull him into another hug. Skulduggery sags*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Well anyone who talks to him next, be sure he gets this message:


Derek Landy, I have spent at least 14 HOURS straight on your website, and if THAT isn't being truely devoted, then I don't have the slightest idea of what is. I deserve some sort of acknollagment or something. 14 hours is a REALLY LONG TIME, and it's like 5:30 AM and I'm exausted but still here!

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Pats Skulduggery's back sypathetically.*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*hugs Skulduggery gently*

I am TIRED.

The Wannabe-Author said...

If I ever see Derek I will send him that. BTW that's NOT how you spell acknowlagement.

Are you going to be ok?

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

i would spend that much time if i could look at a screen for that long

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I knew I was spelling it wrong, but I just couldn't think of what I needed to do....

And I THINK I'll be okay... Although there's every possiblity I'll fall and smash my skull later.

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Skulduggery: (muttering crossly) the Grotesquery, a pack of vampires, Malevolent, Serpine WITH the sceptre of the ancients, the Death Bringer, Darquesse and all the Remnants at the same time, all defeated by me, and I'm forced to give in to hugging FAN GIRLS*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

trats not good

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

It's MEVOLENT. Not Malevolent. MEVOLENT.

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Skulduggery: (muttering crossly) the Grotesquery, a pack of vampires, Mevolent, Serpine WITH the sceptre of the ancients, the Death Bringer, Darquesse and all the Remnants at the same time, all defeated by me, and I'm forced to give in to hugging FAN GIRLS*

Now that it's spelt right, feel free to laugh

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Skulduggery gives in because ridiculous obsession is something he cannot fight.

The Wannabe-Author said...

to Skulduggery- We're Minions

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

am i allowed to tickle torture him for the where abouts of our master derek landy

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

And to Derek. We're HIS minions too.

The Wannabe-Author said...

That's what I meant- we're his creator's Minions who want a hug. Amelie- tickle away. Wait... how are you supposed to tickle bone?

*sees Skulduggery trying to fly away and grabs him, yanking him down and pinning him with a hug.*

XD

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

so am i allowed i will share knowledge gained to all

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I have officially beat my record for staying awake. My record was 8:00 am to 5:30 am, and it's now 6:30 am to... Well whenever I go to sleep. And it's already past 5:30!

The Wannabe-Author said...

Go for it *Skulduggery tries to run but I grab him and hold his hand behind his back ready for tickle torture*

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Is later going to google map Cemetery road*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

yay * starts tickling skulduggery until he is kicking in attempt to get away * kalia tie him down * keeps tickling * tell us where derek landy is or we bring back everone youve defeated in the past and let them loose on you tell us tell us NOW

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

It doesn't exist, trust me. I google mapped it a thousand times and it doesn't exist.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Let me join the torture! I will call Finbar, for he know cushion torture.

The Wannabe-Author said...

dammit! *Holds Skulduggery down as he bursts out laughing* Wait! I know the perfect torture!! *Takes hat hostage* We will rip it up, you know we will! *Skulduggery gasps* Tell us where Derek Landy is now or I'll throw this mud over your hat! *shows mud*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*begins to tickle the inside of Skulduggery's eyesockets*

TELL US WHERE MASTER DEREK IS, SKULDUGGERY, AND NO ONE GETS HURT!!!!




Ow! *quickly withdraws hand from eyesocket* It bit me!

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

i google maped it there are a few but not the right one and haggard is a real place but it seems that it isnt coastal

The Wannabe-Author said...

But Finbar is in Ireland and we're still in Italy. Only Fletcher will be able to teleport him and you knocked him out! *Nods to Fletcher in corner unconcious* We don't have time for cussion torture but we do have hat torture!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

WHERE IS HE SKULDUGGERY?

The Wannabe-Author said...

Or we could wake Fletcher up and make him talk to Skulduggery about his hair. That should loosen his tongue.

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

starts tickling behind neck and pulling arm out of socket

sp- ow this is digusting behaviour for young girls

me like we care now tell us where master derek is NOW

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

What tongue? He's a skeleton XD

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

ill fly back and get finbar *calls happy to fly to ireland * ill be back

The Wannabe-Author said...

I'm billions of years older than you, Skul! How dare you accuse me of youth? With my infinate wisdom? *pours mud on hat*
*Skulduggery flops with sadness*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

*get finbar flys back tpo italy *
here i have finbar

The Wannabe-Author said...

oh yeah good point. That should...make...him...talk??? epic fail

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

compared to him i am a young girl

Venice Rain said...

*waltzes in* *sees the chaos* meh.

*cleans off Detective Plesants hat*

Dapper

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*takes Skulduggery's arm from Amelie* look at this Skulduggery! What is it? It's your arm. Now tell us - WHERE IS MASTER DEREK?

The Wannabe-Author said...

Finbar...

Release the cussion!

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

hahaha venice you ruined our plan to find out where master derek is

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

* starts pelting skulduggery with cushions*

The Wannabe-Author said...

Oh... hi... Venice...

We're finding out where our Golden God is???

Ok so we're torturing Skulduggery. Wanna join in?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

We'll get you Derek! You can't hide!

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

mwah hahaha tell us NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Grabs hat off Venice* *stands on hat, ripping it and covering it in mud.*

Wait wait wait! We forgot about his weak spot...




The Bentley.
*hears high pitched squeak from Skulduggery*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

This is a thousand times worse than Serpine's torture! GIVE US THE ANSWERS WE REQUIRE!!!

Venice Rain said...

hmmmmmm............... *uses galmour to change into china sorrows*

BWAHAHAHHA

wait.

wait...


SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII *legs it*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

* hands out hammers and sledge hammers * lets get to work
* starts belting the bentley with a sledge hammer*

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Skulduggery: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!*


You brought it on yourself. (didn't the guy say that if the Bentley suffered one more scratch it would fall apart??)

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Skulduggery: NOT THE BENTLEY!!! PLEASE NO!!!

The Wannabe-Author said...

Tell us now Skulduggery.

Venice Rain said...

*is back to being Venice*

NO. THE BENTLEY IS TOO PRETTY TO BE HARMED.

THREATEN THE UGLY CARS DAMMIT.

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

sp- i dont know whee he is i dont know

tell us every time you dont the bentely gets closer to utter demolition

The Wannabe-Author said...

Amelie, keep an eye out for anyone we know will protect the Bentley and Skulduggery. Like Ghastly or someone.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Skulduggery, we're running out of patience...
*starts taping sledge hammer toward the Bentley*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

but bashing cars is fun

Hellboy (A.K.A Israel Elysium) 2nd Account said...

What ever happened to going on chat :P It's hard for me to keep up with comments here.

Venice Rain said...

*hugs the Bentley, crying*

YOU CAN'T TAKE THIS TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


*breaks into hysterics over the ending of DB*

The Wannabe-Author said...

We know the Bentley is pretty dang flabbit!
*With distraction, releases grip on Skulduggery who pushes at air and hurtles everyone around the Bentley into far wall. Jumps in and drives*
Dang flabbit! *Runs after at super speed*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

kalia but we are in italy they dont know where we are so how will they find us

The Wannabe-Author said...

Dang he's getting away!!!!!! DX

*Runs up side of building on all fours and over* shortcut. *Still isn't fast enough and just misses the Bentley's back tyre.*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Skulduggery... look *grins evily*

It's one of your hats. And what's this? Are these sissors? Why, yes they are! And they'll be cuttin through your lovely hat in a few seconds if YOU DON'T TELL US WHERE MASTER DEREK IS.

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

kalia you let him get away

*tells happy to stop the bentley*

pulss skulduggery from bentley and starts hitting with pillows again*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

is anyone still on

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Skulduggery, we're gonna bring on da hurt.

Hellboy (A.K.A Israel Elysium) 2nd Account said...

Oh, dw....I have to go to bed now anyways.

The Wannabe-Author said...

I did not let him get away *grits fangs*. It was Venice distracting me!

*Skulduggerysets fire to cushions and drives*

*Grunts angrily and jumps in front of Bentley. Bently shatters around me while I don't even flinch*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

mwah hah hahh=a mwah

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Nearly awake for 24 hours :D

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

i already got skulduggery cus i got happy to trap him in the bentely

The Wannabe-Author said...

I think I knocked him out! *Looks at unmoving Skulduggery.* How do I make sure he's still alive? He hasn't got a pulse to check!

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

kick him

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

uh... uh... take his hat and see what happens!

The Wannabe-Author said...

You can't rely on Happy for everything and seriously, is he dead?

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

no and i donntbut she just happened to stril be here

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*finally gives back his arm*

The Wannabe-Author said...

I already destroyed his hat. *Kicks*
*Skulduggery mutters in pain* He's alive!!!!!!!!! XD

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

*blows rainbow bublesn i his eeye sockets * evil

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Yay! Skulduggery's cursing at us told us he was alive! *frowns* Stop muttering curses Skulduggery! *kicks him*

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Hugs Skulduggery with joy!* You're alive!!!!!!
*Skulduggery looks down at self.*
*Skulduggery: No, I'm not.*
*Hugs anyway*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

well as alive as you were before

The Wannabe-Author said...

He doesn't have eyes to blow stuff into! How's that going to help?
*Skulduggery sneezes out all blue dust*
*Hugs* Sorry about the torture. *Hugs more*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

i said eye sockets duh

The Wannabe-Author said...

I don't wanna torture him anymore! I want hugs!
*Skulduggery: wasn't that part of the torture?*
*Kicks him* *Hugs him*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

We have serious issues. Earlier we were saying "I love you Skulduggery," and where are we now?

The Wannabe-Author said...

yeah but he doesn't have eyes to hurt or get irritated by the powdery stuff.

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

back to adoring him * bowls them over in group hug*

The Wannabe-Author said...

Let's forget all the torture and stuff and start again, right Skulduggery?
*Skulduggery: errrr*
*Glares up at*
*Sure!*
*Hugs tightly*
*Skulduggery groans*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

but it wasnt powery stuff it was bubbles

Venice Rain said...

*sits on high-horse, smirking at them*

oh you wouldn't be doing that if you've read Death Bringer, girls...

The Wannabe-Author said...

BUBBLE torture?!! Even Finbar's cussion torture sounds scarier than that!!! Wait, where'd Finbar go?

The Wannabe-Author said...

I have read Death Bringer. It just makes him cooler. *Hugs*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

We HAVE read Death Bringer, but we're all ever so slightly insane, so it doesn't really matter.

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

*joins hug*
should probavbly get off now cuz ita=s almost midnight

skulduggery im sorry for the torture can i have one more group hug before i go
*makes group hug*

The Wannabe-Author said...

EVERYBODY HUG HIM!!!!!!!!!!
*Hugs around neck, bringing him to his knees*

amelie espirt ____the gummy bear assasin for the straight jacket said...

i have read it buye bye hands out bears take care of happy for me till i get back please bye

The Wannabe-Author said...

It's not even three in the afternoon here yet! *hugs happily*

The Wannabe-Author said...

Bagsie taking care of Happy!!!!!!!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

*joins hug*

Where are you?



24 FREAKIN HOURS! *VICTORY DANCE WITH RAINBOW CONFETTI*

Elysse said...

Derek, I wish I lived in Ireland/England/Scotland. I NEED to meet you! I'm in Hong Kong, and I'm one of those people who made Skulduggery Pleasant one of the most popular book series in my school. Me and my best friend Meghan make theories about what will happen next all the time.

You have to come to Hong Kong. Please.... :D

The Wannabe-Author said...

My day so far- hugged, fought, tortured, hugged again and made friends with Skulduggery Pleasant

The Wannabe-Author said...

Well done Bella!!!!!!!
*Skulduggery drives off with a squeak of tyres as soon as I let go of him to clap.*
Meh, he loves us really.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Kalia, let's torture someone. How about Venice's horse? Or Venice?

The Wannabe-Author said...

I'm in rain world- UK

The Wannabe-Author said...

hmmmmm. We could torture Finbar. He's still here. Or Fletcher...

The Wannabe-Author said...

Let's be torture buddies!!!!!! XD

The Wannabe-Author said...

You can't torture a city even if we're already in Italy.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

FLETCHER! LET'S TORTURE HIM!!!

The Wannabe-Author said...

We could torture China for killing Skul's family!

Venice Rain said...

I DON'T WANT TO BE TORTURED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


see, bad things happen to me when Niall and/or Kal aren't on...


Plus, I'm DRAWINH!!
http://fanfic-blog-of-niall.blogspot.com/2011/09/ink.html inspired by this :3

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

I dedicate this to torture buddies!

skul-man...person... said...

...i dont quite kno how to say this, but...well, to me, Sanguine is like a big wolf mouse man...i know im crazy...you can say that im crazy...because i am..yea..

Now when i read that bit with tanith and sanguine...well i imagine a mouse wolf man...ok

Sanguine is now *drum role* wolf-mouse man!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

You shall be tortured whether you like it or not.

Venice Rain said...

hmmmmm......................

Dedicated to Kallista Pendragon, for being more awesome than I could ever be
to Niall, for being Niall.
To my little sister, (Luna-Tonks) as it is her birthday!
and, of course, to Derek Landy, for allowing me to meet such brilliant people.


now THATS how you do a dedication!
http://venicerain.blogspot.com/ my fic ^^ scroll down for part one =P

The Wannabe-Author said...

No let's torture Fletcher and when he teleports we'll torture Venice and the horse in that order.

YAY! I HAVE A TORTURE BUDDY!!!!

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Where'd you go, Kalia?

Venice Rain said...

DAMMIT.
FIRST KAL KIDDNAPS ME, NOW TORTURE!?

skul-man...person... said...

WAFFLEZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!

The Wannabe-Author said...

Nah let's torture Venice. *Brings out two cutlasses*

The Wannabe-Author said...

Later, let's torture Tanith to make up for her not being tortured in the 6th book.

skul-man...person... said...

im bored

The Wannabe-Author said...

Would you like to torture Vanice with us, Skul-Man?

Venice Rain said...

*pulls out Excalibur* lets do this shizz

*starts epic battle* *is suddlenly in her pirate outfit*

skul-man...person... said...

whats this about being tortured *pulls out right red hand*

The Wannabe-Author said...

All i need now is a cannibalism buddy, a blood buddy and a pistol buddy and my collection will be complete!

Venice Rain said...

*raised eyebrow at skp* orly? *hits him over the head with the swords pommel*

skul-man...person... said...

also derek, you happen to make fletcher teleport to australia often in the books...i also live in australia! =)

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Blocks sword with suddenly indistructable arm and shoots in gut with magical pistol*
*Is still in long grey jacket, black jeans and a light grey t-shirt*

skul-man...person... said...

...i may be drunk...

The Wannabe-Author said...

I do quote "only a moron brings a sword to a gunfight"

Venice Rain said...

*is saved by the power of LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

http://fanfic-blog-of-niall.blogspot.com/2011/09/ink.html

skul-man...person... said...

Kalia Mist...you have one crazy imagination tha...WAFFLLLEEEEEEASSZZZZZZZZZZ

The Wannabe-Author said...

skp... you just got hit on the head. *Shoots Venice's gut again*

skul-man...person... said...

i like waffles

Venice Rain said...

and I quote "Knock yourself out... no, really do, because you're going to want to be unconcious when he gets here"

The Wannabe-Author said...

Spins so is behind Venice then kicks so Venice falls forward. (r u boy or girl)

skul-man...person... said...

i made my account in like 10 secs just so i could say waffles =D

The Wannabe-Author said...

skp, not the time. *Throws skp at Venice*

skul-man...person... said...

im a psychopath...

The Wannabe-Author said...

http://kaliamist.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-suppose-i-should-start-at-beggining.html

Venice Rain said...

(girl)

*flips out of fall, lands behind Kalia* *collapses from blood-loss* *coughs up blood* Tell... Gepard... that he... *more blood* owes me!
and ask Kal when the next purple roses will be done? *more blood* buuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and tell Niall *whispers then falls unconcious*

skul-man...person... said...

did you know a cow is an aminal...?

The Wannabe-Author said...

*While Venice distracted, runs at super speed and throws three punches of own then kicks back to give self space.

skul-man...person... said...

wtf...now im actually confused with you two...are you both peds...or murderers...?

psychopath?

The Wannabe-Author said...

Yeah...

But now I've defeated you and my Torture Buddy is nowhere to be seen, I have nothing to do.

*Taps knees in boredom.* *lifts Venice with one hand and holds flask under wounds so blood pours into it. Once full, drinks and sighs with boredom.*

*Brings Venice back to life as zombie out of boredom*

skul-man...person... said...

me join torture now =)

skul-man...person... said...

or am i dead...meh i came back

The Wannabe-Author said...

I'm a cannibal murderer Adept Reeper with two silver pistols, a black forked tongue, black-all-over eyes, fangs, and a scar on my right cheek from when Sanguine hit me with his razor. I'm not sure what Venice is. We just wanted to torture someone.

Venice Rain said...

*is too pretty to be a zombie, so is broght back as a vampire*

hey hot-tits, how you doing today?

*flounces around in long coat/cape* swwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

skul-man...person... said...

*takes a waffle out of pocket*
*shoves waffle in venice's face*

The Wannabe-Author said...

The only person left to torture is you since Venice is now a zombie...

*looks at*

skul-man...person... said...

*eats rest of waffle*

"oh and btw...venice..=) im sanguine...my disguise is skul-man!

*takes out straight razor*

Venice Rain said...

I am Lady Venice Rain, Knight of Queen Kallista the awesome, Bethrothed of Sir Niall Montblanc, Guardian of Books and BB, NJ, Iris and ally of all that is good, enemy to all evil and bullies.

The Wannabe-Author said...

Shoots the vampire with pistols that never run out of bullets.

skul-man...person... said...

oh kal.................................................................WAFFLES *faints out of dangerously craziness...*

*eats another waffle while dying*

*diez*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

YES! MY COMPUTER WORKS ONCE AGAIN!

The Wannabe-Author said...

I'm a cannibal murderer Adept Reeper with two silver pistols, a black forked tongue, black-all-over eyes, fangs, and a scar on my right cheek from when Sanguine hit me with his razor. I only murder bad ppl and then get called a murderer which is plain unfair so I've taken to eating the bodies. Plus, Venice, you did try to kill me so I'm simply repaying the favour.

*shoots again in the head*

Venice Rain said...

Kalia, ever met Dragona? you two would get on like a house on fire ^^

okay, now I must take my leave *swishes out dramatically* *comes back in sheepishly* wrong door... *skulks out the other door Regally*

The Wannabe-Author said...

My torture buddy! Finally!

The Wannabe-Author said...

I've met Dragona just in case you're still there. He's nice. He's weird. He sounds like a girl but he's cool.

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Torture buddy! *hugs* Good to talk after, what, 15-20 minutes? Ah, whatever. Did Skulduggery end up fleeing at some point?

The Wannabe-Author said...

I want to hug Skulduggery again... :(

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Then we shall summon him *clap clap* SKULDUGGERY! GIVE US A HUG NOOOOOOOWWW!



*Skulduggery arrives and sighs*



See? Problem solved.

The Wannabe-Author said...

yes. I went to clap you on your 24-hour stay online and he got in the Bentley and was gone. Then I killed Venice. Then Sanguine discuised as an Australian, "skp", died eating a waffle. So, normality really.

The Wannabe-Author said...

YAY SKULDUGGERY!!!!!!!!!! *Hugs* Can you teach me that?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Ah, I suppose I really didn't miss anything odd, then.

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Skulduggery: when will it end?*

The Wannabe-Author said...

lols

*Skulduggery: (muttering crossly) I hate hugs*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

It's simple. I just have to give you permission.


You now have permission to summon him against his will also. Hooray!

The Wannabe-Author said...

*lols and hugs tighter*
*Skulduggery hugs back*

The Wannabe-Author said...

YAAAAAAAY!!!!
*Skulduggery: don't I get a say in the whole summoning thing?*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Suck it up, Skulduggery. You're gonna have to deal with them for the rest of your life, or death, or... whatever. Just get used to hugs.




*hugs till he groans*

The Wannabe-Author said...

no. *hugs*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Any sign of Derek?

The Wannabe-Author said...

Yeah Skulduggery. Give in. You're not going to get away without getting any hugs so there!

*Skulduggery groans more*

*hugs around the neck, feet dangling and waving madly*

Venice Rain said...

*hugs Ghastly* Its okay, she'll get bored of him eventually... or he will....

The Wannabe-Author said...

Nope.
*Hugs Skulduggery*
Our Golden God has not yet appeared.
*Skulduggery groans: why does he get to be Golden God? I'M the main character!*
*Hugs tighter*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Skulduggery doesn't have a say in the matter... And where'd His Highness Ghastly come from?

The Wannabe-Author said...

What are you doing hugging Ghastly? *tightens grip on Skulduggery until he makes choking noise* hug Skulduggery with us!

The Wannabe-Author said...

Oh yeah I forgot he was Elder now. Hi Elder Ghastly!

Venice Rain said...

From the Sanctuary, of course!!

*is making Ravel a hat/crown out of glitter and tin-foil* *like this, http://images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org/01/2/1/1/14700331002863321.jpg but more sparkly*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hello, Elder Bespoke. (apparently I can't call Your Highness Ghastly)

The Wannabe-Author said...

HUG SKULDUGGERY.
*Skulduggery: (making choking noise under our weight) Don't hug Skulduggery!*
HUG HIM.
*Skulduggery: don't hug him!*
HUG HIM NOW.

Venice Rain said...

*is happily hugging Ghastly and getting equal hugs back* we're bros.

The Wannabe-Author said...

*Skulduggery groans under weight*

What's up Ghastly?

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Hey Ghastly come hug Skulduggery...
Skulduggery: Make them get off me!
He said the more te merrier!

The Wannabe-Author said...

Hugging characters from the books is just the best thing ever! *Summons up Valkyrie, Tanith, Clarabelle and Fletcher* XD

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Well I get to hug Ghastly TOO!
*drags Kalia and Skulduggery over Ghastly and forms one big awkward hug*

Venice Rain said...

*considers hugging China* ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm no

*hugs Shudder instead* ^^

The Wannabe-Author said...

Now absolutely everyone (Valkyrie Tanith Ghastly Fletcher Clarabelle Venice Bella and Me) Hug Skulduggery!!!
*Skulduggery yelps as massive wave of ppl hit him*

Valkyrie V. - Ivy said...

Giant Hug!
Val: Bella, we look so similar... And get Fletcher away from me!
Clarabelle: I'm in a bubble!
Fletch: This feels uncomfortable. I don't wanna be this close to Val.

The Wannabe-Author said...

I'm not letting China in! Skulduggery's in a mood with her, aren't you Skul?
*Skulduggery makes gasping, choking noise under massive wave of ppl.*
I'll take that as a yes. XD

The Wannabe-Author said...

Shudder doesn't want to hug a load of people. He's self concious that way and his hotel will shift to york soon.
*Skulduggery: (strangled) I don't want to hug... a load of people... either!*
He loves us, he really does!

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