Thursday, March 3, 2011

Molly

I got a comment from Molly in the previous entry. I started replying to it there, but figured it was such a smart question that it needed its own space. The essence of the thing is as follows:

“Chill out with the violence and blood. Seriously. Mortal Coil changed my life for the better: It made me very sensitive to violence and blood. It scared me to think of Val's life going down the drain like that, along with the lives of others. And so I ask: Why do you do this?”

I haven’t really discussed this on the Blog before, so this is my opportunity.

Molly, I’m always very careful not to go overboard with gore. In Playing With Fire, there's an exploding head. I could have gone into tremendous detail describing it, but I didn't- I basically said "and then his head exploded". I like to leave it up to the reader to be as graphic as they want- if they're comfortable with imagining blood and brains flying about the place, that's fine. If they're not, that's fine too. I'm not out to be extreme- that's not what these books are about.

In Mortal Coil, however, there are a few chapters devoted to an autopsy on a living person, and in this I DO go into detail. Why? Because an exploding head gets one reaction- it gets "Ooooh gross!" But that's not the reaction I wanted for the autopsy. I wanted it to be HORRIBLE. I wanted it to be cold and impersonal and just a horrible, horrible experience. In no way did I want any reader to be enjoying reading about this. The problem is, if I DIDN’T go into detail then it wouldn’t have had the same impact- there may even have been a chance that it could have been seen as just another wacky adventure this girl gets into.

Violence is a trickier subject, however. For one thing, I hesitate to call it violence. I’ve always regarded a fight scene that you read or watch onscreen as “action”, not “violence”. Violence is up-close and personal, and it’s something that happens in the real world. Anything we see in a movie or read on the page is simulated violence- which, in my opinion, is action.

But putting that to one side, let’s talk about the action in these books. When I started, there was one thing that I wanted to convey whenever I’d write a fight scene- fights HURT. Getting punched HURTS. Punching someone HURTS. Poor Valkyrie has had her leg broken, her hand broken, her tooth broken, her ribs broken... She’s had black eyes, burst lips and a bruised body. I’m typing this now and every time I use my right hand, I wince, because my knuckles are busted and bloody from hitting a bag earlier today. I spent this evening applying straight-arm bars and getting straight-arm bars applied to me- and THAT hurts, too. Even the TRAINING for violence hurts.

I have some knowledge of fights, and how it feels to be in one, and it is a thoroughly rotten feeling. Even when you win, you feel sick, because you’ve just hurt another human being. It is a terrible, horrible thing, to be in a fight. It’s not fun, and you really don’t feel okay about it afterwards. I train with doormen and bouncers who need to go somewhere to cry after they've been in a fight, simply because they've had to be MORE aggressive than the person they were fighting in order to win. They've actually sickened THEMSELVES. And that’s why my fight scenes are the way they are.

Molly, you say Mortal Coil made you sensitive to this stuff, and it scared you “to think of Val's life going down the drain like that, along with the lives of others. And so I ask: Why do you do this?”

Well, to be honest, that is exactly why I do it. I want you to be scared for Val. I want you to NOT want her to be hurt. If the fights were nothing but good fun, if nobody ever got really hurt, if Val didn’t run the risk of serious injury every time she throws a punch- then I’d have failed in what I set out to do.

I respect violence. I respect what it can do. I respect the fact that it can change your life. Two guys have an argument outside of a pizza place at night, one of them throws a punch, the other falls and hits his head, slips into unconsciousness, then a coma, wakes up with brain damage. His life- instantly changed. The life of the guy who hit him- instantly changed. Jail. Lawsuit. The sheer GUILT over what he’s done.

One moment of violence can change your life, so of course I respect it. Any intelligent person would. So I’m not going to write a book where action scenes take place without consequence. There is ALWAYS a consequence. 

I hope that answers your question, Molly. Now, whether or not you agree with me is totally up to you. I don’t want to drive ANY reader away, and I don’t want to upset anyone. But the books are what they are, and I am what I am, and I write the way I write. So this is my side of the argument, and I want to sincerely thank you for asking the question. 

4,244 comments:

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The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Moi! Crazy? NEVER!!! *flies off to Mr Tumnus' house, drinks tea and sails the Good Ship Lollypop back*

Pah! Tristeassa? Normal? Hmmm......whatever helps you sleep at night, Miss Ghost Suit.

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

ok one second

Liz said...

ok Kallista *prepares to sit on Octa*

Aquila Felis said...

Hmmm... without using lots of colours? Or using either bright or dark colours? But trist is a German word, so this association was propably not intended... :S

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

I want a high-five........Anyone? *holds up hand and makes puppy dog eyes*

N said...

Thanks Kallista! Nothing at all like me in real life. But you know. I'll give that a go, see how it turns out in drawing form. I rather like the idea. :)

Bryony, I am very normal. Ask anyone.

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

*high fives Bryony*

Liz said...

*high fives Bryony* i don't think we've met...

Aquila Felis said...

*high-fives Bryony*
*he looks frightend*
Don't worry. I'm harmless. *winks*

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

I LOVE YOU SKULGIRL13!!!!!! *leaps onto them, thinks about it and gets off again* Actually, that's not something I should probably do when trying to make a good first impression......*leaps on Tristessa, because she doesn't mind, or if she does I really don't care anyway*

Uh-huh? Suuuuuure Tristessa. Ok. Hands up anyone who thinks Tristessa is 'normal'.

Aimie Lee-Cruickshank said...

HellO Mr Landy, or should we call you Derek, you can choose.... well I would just like a minite of your time to tell you how awesome you and your books are awesome......so if your ever going to read this my name is Aimie and I am N0. 732 of the minion army goodbye for now

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

IEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! You guys are awesome too! And no, we haven't met. Hi, I'm Bryony, Tristessa's stalker. And I shall forever be known as so. She will NEVER get rid of me!

Ummmm......the wink scares me.......but who cares? *wink*

N said...

The name Tristessa actually comes from the latin word for sadness or gloomy. So I can see where you're coming from Aquila. But. I'm pretty far from sadness (as you may be able to tell) and I want a fairly colourful picture. So may be... or may be not. We'll see.

Liz said...

Oh, ok XD i will call you stalker dude then

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

;) See Tristessa? You shall NEVER BE RID OF ME!!!!!!

Aquila Felis said...

Yeah, tristis, right?
Had some Latin at school.

Liz said...

i can sing in Latin...

N said...

... Okay then Bryony. And Lizzy, Bryony is a stalker dudette.

Anyway peoples, I must be off now! Good night to all! Sleep well! Sweet dreams! *hugs everyone*

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

BE TRISTESSA!!



@bryony

????

Liz said...

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Tristessa!
btw, i call everyone dude, whether they're a boy or a girl

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaah, but 'dudette' makes me sound like 'Smurfette', and, although I did go through a Smurf obsession stage a couple of years ago, I am not blue. Nor have I ever been. Besides, being referred to as dude is cool. Like bow ties, fezs and tweed.

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Skulgirl13, you have every right to be confused. I know I am.

Aquila Felis said...

Bye Tristessa.



Gtg, too. Bye all!

Liz said...

Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Aquila!

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Bye person I've only just met who gave me a high five!

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

BYE AQUILLA!!


@Lizzy
i just sent it :)

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

wait one second....DANG IT!!! my story is all messed up it didnt come out right :/ ah well at least the story came out right :D

Liz said...

@skulgirl ok, i'll check for it

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

coolio!!

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

Bryony have you ever seen stargate sg1????

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

....

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

DANIEL JACKSON!

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

JACK O'NEIL

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

TEAL'C

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

No. No I have not.

.....

Are you going to kill me now?

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

SAMANTHA CARTER!

Liz said...

Skulgirl i can't find it, did you send it form Skul-fanfic?

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

FLETCHER RENN!

Liz said...

mine!

Liz said...

ARGGGGGGGGGGG! so close!

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

LOL wait skul-fanfic ummm wait i sent it from the SP fanfic...let me try that again...

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Samantha Carter.....?

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

and no Bryony i wont kill you *hand twitches towards sword trying very hard not to pull it out and rip bryony to pieces*

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

SG1

Liz said...

Its a cool name :)
@skulgirl, here, have a link
http://skulfanfic.blogspot.com/

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

thanks!!! OMG IM MAkiNG A COOL WISTLING SOUND!!

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

.........I'm scared.......so I shall sing a little song to show I am not afraid, even though I just said I was.

*ahem*

I know what it's like to be a mackerel, you swim and you swim and then you die! I know what it's like to be a mackerel, you'll never know unless you try!

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

just keep swimming just keep swimming just keep swimming swimming swimming what do we do we swim swim *repeats over again*

Liz said...

*claps wildly*

Liz said...

fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads.
fish heads, fish heads, eat them up , yum!

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

*bows deeply*

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Those are both AMAZING compositions. We should write a musical! Hmmm.....hows about calling it.....FISH: The Musical!

How original is that title?

Liz said...

should i lie and say very?

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Yes. Yes you should.

Liz said...

ok, VERY!

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

*puts down the knife held behing her back* Good girl.

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

ooh i know the second part to the fish head song


i took a fish head out to see a movie didnt have to pay to get it in!

Liz said...

well thats good, it's only half a fish, you shouldn't have to pay for it

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Or at least only pay for half a ticket.

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Sooooo.......Red Vine anyone?

Liz said...

Do you mean red wine? if so then sure i'll have some

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Nah, I've only got Red Vines. Or at least I will, once Tristessa's got 2kilos shipped over from America for my brithday (but I'm not supposed to know, so shhhhhh!)

Skulgirl13 A.K.A Deryn Mellifluous said...

uggg gotta go guys ton of homework and ill be up forever again if i dont get it done new short story on my blog skulgirl13.blogspot.com

Liz said...

i have no clue what Red Vines are

Liz said...

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Skulgirl!

Valness said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Oh, bye!

Right. Red Vines are an American sweet. Basically, liquorice sticks but red. And AWESOME!!!

Now, is it normal to type something, but not remember typing it, and only realising when you read back what you wrote?

Liz said...

Huh, i'm American, but i've never seen them. they sound like twizzlers though...
and as far as i can tell that's not really normal

Mar-Chu said...

*walks on*

do you know i actually didn't know what Mortal coil meant? so i walked around asking everyone if they knew. one girl thought it was a virus, but apparently no, according to the health teacher. so later i asked the reading teacher, and he said he didn't know wat it meant, but he had heard of it before. so we looked it up on his laptop when some beatles, or led zeplin, or somethin like that was playing on his ipod, for everyone to hear. I muttered that i was reading a book called that (*grins when remembers reading it for first time*) we searched it, and it said-

"Mortal coil is a poetic term that means the troubles of daily life and the strife and suffering of the world."

and i was shocked at how well it fit the book. when i walked away, the teacher said-

"Thats a happy book your reading."

and i walked back to my seat laughing.

Liz said...

Sweet! i haven't talked to Sarthacus in forever

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Say, Kallista.....Tristessa tells me you'reone of the blog veterens (even though you're not old or whatever, but hey, you know what I mean). So, anything I should know? It's kinda awkward 'cos I don't know anyone but Tristessa, and she's gone.....*sniff*....

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Oh, and they basically are Twizzlers. They're their main competitor. I just love them because of A Very Potter Sequel.

Liz said...

ok Kallista, i'll tell hellboy about appleseed

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Hi Mar. We haven't met, but......*attack hug!*

Hi!

Liz said...

ooo, i'm a veteran, that makes me sound even more awesome then i already am! ;P

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

So attack hugs are good hmmm......

*attack hugs you all!!!!!*

The All Singing All Dancing Bryony Rose said...

Oh.....I've gotta go now....hmmmm.......night! Or morning. Depends where you are. Farewell!

Liz said...

LOL That reminds me, i need to clean my rifle, so when i do i'll take those pictures i promised

Liz said...

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Bryony! nice meeting you!

Liz said...

m'k

Mar-Chu said...

*leaps back on*

ITS COLD OUT THERE!

*points at window*

Octa said...

*sniffs*

I missed Skulgirl and Bryony!

I wanted an attack hug!

But....

Lizzy! Kallista!

*glomps*

When I said Night I really meant I'm only leaving for an hour and a half to do a 3 page hebrew essay.

I assumed Night! adequately conveyed that :D

Octa said...

Mar!

*beaver hug*

What would a beaver hug even be?

Liz said...

*glomps* Hey Octa! Kallista says i have to kepp you here so... *sits on Octa*
Hey Mar!

Liz said...

*keep

Mar-Chu said...

lets see~!

*beaver*

*hugs octa*

Mar-Chu said...

HIYA LIZZY! AND EVERYONE ELSE I MISSED!

*waves franticly*

Octa said...

Anyway...

Do you want to be Euryale? Do you! Do you?

Because if you do then I'll be Stethno and Kallista will be Medusa!

Whoever you may be.

And I shall keep asking this question until someone says yes or someone else knows who stethno and euryale are.

Octa said...

I need some air!!!

*Octa gets squahed by Lizzy*

HELP!

Mar-Chu said...

*chitter chatter in beaver talk*

Liz said...

LOL *gets off Octa*

Octa said...

Hmmm...

If I don't post for a while it's because I'm hiding the laptop from my parents.

If I don't come back then I've accidently fallen asleep.

But for now I'm here. (Perhaps).

Octa said...

And do you know what's awesome?

My alarm clock says MAR on it this month!

Mar-Chu said...

*blinks when finds a picture of derek reading to a statue in google*

thats...um...did...did that statue like the book...?

Octa said...

I want to see!

Mar-Chu said...

MINE DOES TOO!

*high five*

it was completely unexpected, but i feel some random person planned this from my birth. planned all the awesome moments, like when i would one day meet the golden god when he came on tour to America...

*looks up hopefully*

*smiles*

Bryn said...

Wow. Pretty big insight. I suppose you're right about it though. I like to watch action and read about it but the thought of actual action makes my knees buckle. Although, I must confess to enjoying the dissection chapters, mostly because they were so in detailed. I live your writing but it sometimes doesn't go as much into detail as I wished it would. Also, I love strong, abled heroines and I like that Valkyrie got out of the situation by herself.

Mar-Chu said...

http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_lg5yu6iL4Z1qbzplwo1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0RYTHV9YYQ4W5Q3HQMG2&Expires=1299276794&Signature=WwMfduODt9sLsBWkMg3vp1nMhGc%3D

does tat work...?

Octa said...

Go alarm clocks! :D

And Derek you need to come to London again!

Octa said...

Statue looks really bored to me!

Octa said...

Infact I will post it on TEGI!

I love this picture.

Mar-Chu said...

NO COME TO AMERICA!

*puppy eyes*

for a book six tour...?

Mar-Chu said...

shame on you statue! stay awake! you are in the presence of the golden god!





...wait TEGI?

Folding Cranes said...

I love the books and the way you manage to write the major epic fight scenes so that its easy to understand, so we know whos punching who and whos bleeding on the floor, otherwise I'd just end up getting confused by all the flailing limbs and weapons :)
I also really like how in a story you don't sugar coat it, like (even though it slightly killed me) but when a main carchter dies (like Bliss) you don't just try to invent some magical way to bring them back to life and everything is okay again. No it's their dead and thats that and i think thats great! I've read too many books when the trials have just sort of fixed themselves and the happy ending is so sweet it makes your teeth hurt! Don't get me wrong I like a happy ending as much as the next person but some actual problems along the way are never too bad.

Back to why I was writing this anyway... how, when your wrinting a major long peice do you manage to stave of writers block? I love writing but I just seem to hit walls of uninsperation to often and its not fun!

Octa said...

Stands for The Eight Great Immortals.

Is a blog that some of us use to post random stuff.

http://theeightgreatimmortals.blogspot.com

Night!

Liz said...

nu-uh Octa! *sits on him again* i told Kallista that'd keep you here!

Bareerah said...

Interesting to see your opinions on violence. I can't WAIT for the new book! TIS SOOO EXCITING!!!!!

Mar-Chu said...

*remembers thought from earlier*

i actually don't really feel sorry for Val,with her being Darquesse and all. Maybe it has something to do with she's so strong, and capable, or Skul-man will always swoop in and punch the living daylights out of anyone who hurts her...

where was it? oh, yeah, Val. i really don't feel sorry for her.

*cringes at the thought of being the cause for master failing his goal*

maybe also has something to do with i know it will turn out all right in the end, or else you'll be forced with an angry mob of teenagers. but i keep thinking "its allright! Valkyrie can do it!"

...oh snap. now your probably going to switch something and someones going to die a horrible and painful death.

*runs around in frenzy*

Mar-Chu said...

oh.




BYE OCTA!

*waves like a lunatic*

Octa said...

*feels Lizzy sit on me again*

Ok! I'm staying! :D

Octa said...

New post on TEGI!

Liz said...

Ok, i'll check it out

Mar-Chu said...

I GOT THE FIRST COMMENT ON IT!

Mar-Chu said...

yay! we should sit on people more often!

Octa said...

And a new (ish) poem on my blog.

http://octaboonaambrosius.blogspot.com/2011/03/loss-of-hiashiness.html

Octa said...

It works wonders!

Is posting something yesterday still new?

Liz said...

i dunno, i think so...

Octa said...

Been almost 40 minutes since Kallista left.

Said she'd be back in 10.

I hope her computer hasn't frozen again.

Octa said...

Kallista!

*glomps*

I was just starting to wonder where you were :D

Octa said...

Kallista! Check out TEGI. There is an awesome picture of Derek there.

Liz said...

go to go, dinner time

Mar-Chu said...

*clears throat*

okay. i need to ask you all something!

Mar-Chu said...

bye lizzy!

Octa said...

I'm sorry Kallista!

I didn't mean to I promise!

Octa said...

Bye Lizzy!

What is it Mar?

Octa said...

Turns into Sthethno.

Mar! Turn into Euryale? Please!

Mar-Chu said...

okay~!


i'm starting to write that book, and i would like to know if i could use some of you guy's screen names?




i maaaaaaaaaaaay dedicate the book to you....! or...say something,....

Octa said...

*Stethno

Mar-Chu said...

...who?

Octa said...

You can use my name Mar.

What is it Kallista?

Octa said...

I do feel the same way. What are you afraid of?

Octa said...

*sighs*

Stethno and Euryale are Medusa's two sisters.

If we all turned into Gorgons we could turn everyone to stone!

Mar-Chu said...

*dances*

oh yeah! i had a dream yesterday, that the school was about to blow up, and the tessaract was hunting me in school, but all i cared about was buying something from the book fair. the class is going again tomarrow~ then my mission will have been succesfull~!

Octa said...

I won't leave Kallista.

We can move to my fanfic blog if you want.

Mar-Chu said...

...sweet.

*tries*

i'm...still having trouble with...humans...

*turns into Octa*


well. that didn't work.

Mar-Chu said...

book fairs are always wonderfull~

Octa said...

LOL Mar!

Octa said...

Of course I'm happy! :D

I may sound stressed at times but that's just surface feelings.

Deeper down I have been constantly happy since joining this blog.

It's really improved my life meeting you guys!

Mar-Chu said...

then eventually the tessaract caught me, and my leg wasnt feeling too good...

then an evil scientist from a book is just finished came in and gave this huge speech, and turned into a transformer, and i flew around on him, trying to get to the fair.

Sabrina said...

When Val had the autopsy, I was cringing and writhing but that's why I love this series so much. It freaks the living daylight out of you. That's awesome. It gives readers an emotional experience!

BelladonnaCurse said...

That's exactly right, and is the difference between Skulduggery Pleasant and the likes of Call of duty. While playing CoD, my brother comes out with things like "I only got killed nine times!" Well in real life that's not good!!! Val aches for weeks after the big fights, and after luring all the Vampires into the see Val is haunted by the memories of it. She has nightmares off what she's seen, and it's a good thing that people see the consequences of fights, in whatever form.

Bethany said...

To be honest, I think your take on violence and Suzanne Collins take on violence are the most realistic. You can't have violence without the consequence, they go together like hand and glove. Many authors tend to neglect the emotional impact it has on not just those who have been hurt, but also the ones doing the hurting. Some authors even glorify it and make it sound like the thing to do, but you don't. You show us how hurt Val gets and you show us the emotional impact it has on Skulduggery when he feels like it's his fault. Not that he'd ever admit that he feels guilty, but we know it's there.

Mar-Chu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mar-Chu said...

...hm. will do.

XD


i think i'll introduce Kallista early on tho...can she be similar to you?

Mar-Chu said...

DELETED!

Oscar Owen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Oscar Owen said...

Of course, the consequences are just ever so higher now that brilliant scapegoat that was Kenspeckle, god rest his soul, has gone... I must ask why here, why did you feel the need to kill off Kenspeckle? Because that is the only death in the Skulduggery Pleasant books that I've been properly shocked and affected by.

Mar-Chu said...

actually Mr O., i've thought about Kenspeckle alot. like, will they all die more often because he's not there? or will they all die because they can't fight with injuries?

its an interesting topic, that is.

Mar-Chu said...

s'okay~

:D yessssss...now i believe i can start...!

Mar-Chu said...

*smiles smugly*

then it will be confirmed that my first grade teacher is a sensetive. great fun. great fun.


...wait "attempt to da book"? heh?

Mar-Chu said...

erm...may i ask wat it is supposed to be...?

*holds frypan lid up for shield*

Mar-Chu said...

*looks at various maps online*

hey, look! its the popcorn shop!

Mar-Chu said...

aha! understandable! understandable!

*chuckles*

maybe my teacher was right. maybe i AM going to be a writer. and be surrounded by wonderful writing frinds. online and off.

*counts on fingers how many of her friends are really good at writing*

*runs out of fingers*

Mar-Chu said...

kay~

*smiles*

*frowns*

but there is the fact that ,y mind is WAY too active, you can always see it in my eyes, they're always all quick and qittery, and then sometimes i'm too lazy, and i tend to abbuse electronic devises by overuse...

Mar-Chu said...

*smiles*

*cat*

*sits on kallista's head overlooking trap*

Mar-Chu said...

TOGETHER FOREVER AGAIN!

*MUSIC ENDS*

OOPS.

*TURNS CAPSLOCK off*

better.

Mar-Chu said...

*yawns*

dude, i'm like soooo tired....

Mar-Chu said...

s'okay~

Mar-Chu said...

...i just remembered this from when i was reading playing with fire. i know a way to defeat vengous in lord vile's armour.









ready...?












turn on a flashlight and illuminate everything. as for the torment, i find the best way to get rid of spiders is with large sticks. and bug spray.

*sprays the torment*

*shines a flashlight in vengous's eyes*

*vengous stumbles back and is momuntarily blinded*

YEAH! VICTORY!

*torment picks up giant stick and hits me with it*

*muffles screams*

Mar-Chu said...

awwwwwwwww...!

*throws ice through internet portal*

USE THIS!

Mar-Chu said...

*grabs flashlight*

*hits the torment with it*

*screams when tiny spiders crawl all over*

*thud*

*smash*

*thud*

Unknown said...

*Screams*
SPIDERS!SPIDERSPIDERSSPIDERSSPIDDDDDDEEEERRRRSSS! DDDDDDDDDD: O________O


*Shrieks*
*Runs around screaming since spiders are listed up there with hell and zombies on her phobia-list*

Unknown said...

*Runs around still screaming*
*Runs up the walls, then across the ceiling, then down the wall, across the floor, repeat cycle, running around in a big circle*

Mar-Chu said...

*throws pandora flashlight*

USE THIS!

*draws mighty frypan*

I KILL YOU ALL!

*thud*

*smash*

*vengous comes and taps me on shoulder*

*leaps around and accidentally hits vengous in the process*

*blinks*

*goes back to attacking spiders*

Unknown said...

*Flashes flashlight around like crazy, blinding everyone*
*Takes out bazooka and sets it to S-Blue Rinse* ( S= Spiders, Blue Rinse= Almost Unnoticable but 100% lethal biological weapon)
*Starts shooting at the spiders*

Unknown said...

*Vengous tries to sneak up on her, but she round kicks him, then continues on her spider massacre*

Mar-Chu said...

*stares at everything in awe*

woahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

*torment comes*

*spins around and sings campsongs*

I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBOD'S VERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVES, EVERYBODY'S NERVS! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODY'S NERVES, AND THIS IS HOW IT GOES! I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS-

*torment runs away plugging ears trying to block out screeching noises of the song*

Unknown said...

-The Spiders Have Finally Been Decimated, And What's Left Go Hobbling Away-
*Flops down on floor*

I'm-



-Beat.


*Falls asleep on floor*

Unknown said...

And hungry. Let's not forget hungry :P

Unknown said...

Still there, Mar?

Mar-Chu said...

*yawns*

*flops down*

*curls up*

*cat*

*snore*

Mar-Chu said...

sorry. reading somethinng.

Unknown said...

*Curls up*
*Sleeping bag magically appears*
*Slides into it*

BRB :P

Mar-Chu said...

kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~

Mar-Chu said...

*grumbles*

*yawns*

i gotta go now! maybe i'll be on tomarrow! bye!

Unknown said...

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG



JUST FOUND ANOTHER FANTASTICAMZINGLYAWESOME ARTIST.

Oh Land- Son of a Gun

Unknown said...

Bye Mar-Chu!

Mar-Chu said...

...hello?

*hits ipod so it works*

Stupid things gonna crash on me any moment...

Mar-Chu said...

*grabs out*

NO!

*looks around and finds is all alone*

*lower lip trembles*

*glares at ipod and punches it for makung meh miss Kallista*

Mar-Chu said...

...well i guess i'm going...

This thing is gonna die anyway. From me.

*chuckles*

Unknown said...

Anyone still on?

Unknown said...

Damn...

Unknown said...

Lalalala...

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

Oh Land- Son of a Gunn

Unknown said...

OH YEAH
Oh Land rules the page, as well as the 1000th comment.
Mission accomplished.

Anonymous said...

Derek Landy! I was wondering about that thank you Molly! But saying that I have to say THAT ONE HELL OF THING WOULD HAVE TO HAPPEN TO PUT ME OFF SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT!!!! Derek I implore you to read this because I AM YOU SINGLE MOST DEVOTED MINION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I really Really REALLY NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM TANITH LOW'S ULTIMATE COMPLETE AND UTTERLY DEVOTED FAN and I am disappointed in you for killing her. Oh and by the way you lied to me. Just to let you know.

Unknown said...

Dear Mr. Landy,
Where did you get the inspiration for such a fantastic series?
Do hedgehogs live in hedges?
Do you have a favorite band?
A favorite movie?

Just a few questions :P
Sincerely,
Pandora

Unknown said...

OMY GOODNESS DEREK LANDY YOU DEVOTED A POST TO ANSWERING MY FRIEND'S QUESTION YOU EVEN TITLED IT HER NAME YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED THIS MAKES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In all seriousness, yes.... as Molly said in her question, mortal coil did change her. She has mentioned since many times to me how disturbed she was, especially by the autopsy scene you mentioned. It even prompted her to start writing a fanfiction were Valkyrie has to go back to school and let magic take the backseat in her life (its a super good story by the way.) Thank you so much for posting this... I'm sure she will apreciate it very much.

Donkey Shooter said...

nobodys here, as i thought, i havent been on lately, mmm, lifes been doing something extremely weird to me lately.

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